Am I ruining the surprise?

[Liquiddazi]

I feel like I am completely ruining the surprise of engagement and I am scared it won’t be a surprise when it actually happens. My boyfriend & I have been talking about getting married since last June and we pretty much know everything that we want to do for our wedding, we just have to make it official. However, I also know that he wants to get married this August, 2007. I have asked about extending the possible dates until November 2007 or even sometime 2008 and he is dead set against it. He would agree to November 2007, but he said he would prefer not. So this is the deal, he gave me the “time” frame between my best friends wedding, which was January 20th, and my birthday, which is in April. But due to the August time frame, I know it will most likely be in February. Do you think I am ruining the whole surprise of engagement by knowing this or thinking about it?

Besides my little sister, I am the only girl in my family that knows that it is (was in their cases) coming. Also, my little sister thought it would happen a week after it actually did and was caught completely by surprise. Do you think I will still have that surprise element?

 

[MustangFan]

Don''t worry . It will still be a surprise, We started looking at rings back in April and the ring is finally done, and he says (maybe bluffing) the ring is finished and he hasn''t even started planning a proposal. I overheard him on the phone, I''m still waiting for the right time. Maybe this is Valentine''s Day?? maybe not, I know how he is about holidays... All I really know is how much longer can he hold on to it??? His best friend''s FI said make her forget all about it and wait a year! I certainly hope not!
Do you know what your ring looks like?
I would try to not think about the ring too much, he is still going to catch you off guard because you are not going to look at the calendar every day and say only 40 more possible days that he "could" propose! Why is he so insistant on a Aug 07 wedding? My guy is like whatever..., as long as we get married in the next 5 years I don''t really care when you plan it. I would try reasoning with him on this one, how are you able to start planning for August with no ring, I think that in itseLf is a mood killer to be rushed IMO, but when he does propose I believe all those emotions will flood in and take you by surprise.

 

[Beth07]

Liquid - I''m in the same kind of boat! I have a "time frame" I know it will happen within. Given it''s a very LARGE boy-soon kinda time frame but it''s a deadline nonetheless. I''m also fairly convinced it''s going to happen within the next month or so or we may run into trouble with the event that is causing this "time frame". (I can''t talk to specifically about the event because FF reads this site I think). I don''t think it will ruin the surprise for me because though I know he has a plan I have NO IDEA what said plan is or when it is! Right now I''m just trying my darnest not to be overly suspicious and to go with the flow (which is totally against my personality!)

 

[Liquiddazi]

Mustang: I know what the setting looks like and possible cuts of the center diamond, but that''s about it. I don''t know why he is so "persistent" about August 2007. I think it is because he is trying to give me faith he is going to do it. However because of our schedules, we can only get married either in August & November 2007 and he has always wanted to get married before 2008. However if we do it in August, I will have more help with the wedding in the last few weeks before it, which will decrease on my very "anxious" personality.

Beth: I am very much like you, I don''t go with the flow very well, especially if it is about major life changing situation. However, I know that even if he doesn''t propose in the time frame, I would be pissed because I would look like a fool, but I wouldn''t say anything about it and I am a very "in your face" type of person.

Thank you, you two for the responses! I really needed it!

 

[KimberlyH]

Liquid,

Mynow DH set his own timeframe. I knew, because I know him, that we would get engaged towards the end of it (I was right, he had about two weeks left when he proposed). We picked out my stone and setting together and left it to be set, he informed me we weren''t officially engaged yet and proposed that night. While I didn''t have the shock I would have if it were a suprise, I did have the wonderful wave of feelings that rush over you when he asks, and it was not even close to ruined in my mind. In fact I wouldn''t have had it any other way.

 

[caligal]

I knew the ring was being delivered and STILL loved my proposal and am thrilled! Yep- it did take away the whole, "no way- you''re asking me to marry you?" out of nowhere stuff, but really WHO has that anymore? Almost everyone has discussed marriage, and many have had TONS of convos about the when, readiness factor, some even down to financial talks. It''s a different world than it was X years ago and financially, many of us are in a partnership with our guys- so it does make more sense you know a bit more than some folks used to. I think it is o.k. to tell him you are still looking forward to being surprised- cause I told mine. Since he knew me, he threw me off the trail a bit with a white lie so I could still be surprised! It worked!

 

[Liquiddazi]

Thanks guys! I really needed to be encouraged and reassured!

 

[ktkakes]

i dont think your ruining the suprise i mean i think when the day comes it will still suprise you..i myself have been given a time line too.. feb/march( wedding next march) i mean its only natural to feel anticipation for that special moment.. the time kills me and as it gets closer it gets worse.

 

[Liquiddazi]

I completely understand about it killing you as it gets closer!