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Am I am “bad” daughter?

Bron357

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
7,025
My mother with her 3.5 carat diamond solitaire took a liking to my amazing cluster setting that I bought to set one of my 9.2mm sapphires into. Given that it is my sister who will inherit the 3.5 carat diamond I wasn’t keen, understandably I feel, to giving her the setting as it will then “go” with the diamond to my sister.
On Loupe Troop I found and purchased a very nice diamond set ring guard with the thought of giving that to my mother. Then of course I spotted a lovely Moissanite ring and before I know it I’m wearing the ring guard with the Moissanite and it looks very very nice.
Now I’m reluctant to give my mother the ring guard as I want to keep wearing it. She doesn’t know about it btw. Am I a “bad“ daughter?E5EC3E66-D8CC-42B1-9DAD-71690D082B3B.jpeg
 
No. It's too bad you can't share your hobby though. I know if my daughters bought bling, I'd love to see it and would never ask to have it, or even hint at such. Enjoy your bling. If you tire of it, you could always give it to her later and say that you realized she really liked it.
 
You’re not a bad daughter. Your mom isn’t entitled to gifts from you by virtue of being your mom.
 
Did you ever say to her that you'll let her have it? If not, you've done nothing wrong and she's the one making silly assumptions. If you've said yes and are changing your mind, she has more reason to get upset, but you can offer to hunt for another setting for her as long as she's paying for it.
 
I think unless you have already specifically promised it to her, you're good to hold onto it! You found it, enjoy it.
 
You are not a bad daughter at all.

If you want to, you can always use your super bargain hunting skills to find a different ring wrap/guard for your mom.
 
Bron357 said:
My mother with her 3.5 carat diamond solitaire took a liking to my amazing cluster setting that I bought to set one of my 9.2mm sapphires into. Given that it is my sister who will inherit the 3.5 carat diamond I wasn’t keen, understandably I feel, to giving her the setting as it will then “go” with the diamond to my sister.
On Loupe Troop I found and purchased a very nice diamond set ring guard with the thought of giving that to my mother. Then of course I spotted a lovely Moissanite ring and before I know it I’m wearing the ring guard with the Moissanite and it looks very very nice.
Now I’m reluctant to give my mother the ring guard as I want to keep wearing it. She doesn’t know about it btw. Am I a “bad“ daughter?E5EC3E66-D8CC-42B1-9DAD-71690D082B3B.jpeg
Click to expand...

No
You are not a bad daughter
That's a spectacular enhancer
One of only a very select few i have ever liked
 
No, not at all. Maybe find her something else? Or gift it to her when you want another piece?
 
Finders Keepers!
 
Use it until you find something you like even better! Then you can give it to her! Or find her some options and let her buy her own!
 
No, you're not. I'd keep it too. It's gorgeous.
 
You're a great daughter! And nothing wrong with holding back on a setting that your sister will end up receiving - it belongs to you. Wear the ring guard and maybe in time , you will find something better and pass that on to your mother.
 
I agree with everyone else - you are absolutely not being bad, especially as you were being sweet and trying to find your mum a setting in the first place.

Something is obviously niggling at you for you to ask the question though. If it’s the original cluster that’s niggling (and you understandably not wanting it to ultimately pass to your sister), could you give your mum use of that cluster setting on the understanding (with your sister) that the setting doesn’t ultimately pass on with the diamond? I might be misunderstanding, but it seemed like that was the problem with your mum using the first cluster setting, as opposed to you not wanting her to use it. Either way though, I’m with whoever above said finders keepers, if you love and want to keep both!
 
Thanks for the support. I need yet another ring like ......I don’t need another ring. But when has that ever stopped me ha ha.
Even though my relationship with my mother is often fraught, I was actually looking with Mum in mind seeing as she keeps mentioning how she would love to have a “cluster” for a change.
When the ring guard arrived it was just so beautiful and I then bought the Moissanite ring to see how it might all work together (for Mum) and sigh... it’s really lovely.
In any regard the ring guard needs resizing, it’s only a size 5 (why it’s on my pinky).
so I’ll just think some more on it!
 
no.
 
So I am going to take a different perspective.

You have so many lovely pieces and for whatever reason you are having doubt about this one. Give it to your mom. She won't be around forever and I think it will mean more to you by giving it to her than keeping it. Just a gut feeling I have reading your post.

No matter what you decide you are not a bad daughter though. Since you were asking for opinions I wanted to share my different perspective.
 
With your amazing eBay skills, won’t be long before you find another amazing deal. And then put this and your new buy together and see which you love more. Keep one and give one to your mum. Win win maybe?
 
Let her buy her own setting. It is her diamond. I don't think you are required to give it to her for any reason.
 
Give it to her with the understanding that it will NOT go to your sister, but back to you in the event of her death.
 
Is this 3.5ct Mum the same Mum who whacked you when you bought your first piece of bling? :mrgreen2: ;)2
 
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