"Almost engaged"?

[UnderBlue]

I mentioned in a different post how I found out from my BF that he was thinking of proposing to me when we were on a trip a week and a half ago, but when we got to the spot it wasn''t right (and I agree: too many flies, people and heat).

So a little while after hearing this (I was all emotional before we had talked about the above and felt weird/bad after I found out) I thought, "I should e-mail my girlfriends and tell them I almost got engaged!" Then I thought about it more and realized I could have done the same last Christmas after he told me that he thought about asking me at X time. Though this year, I think he was thinking about actually doing it, rather than the thought popped into his head at the time.

Do you tell your girlfriends much about LIW/engagement stuff? I know I came here becasue I didn''t feel like I could talk to other people, though that''s all in my head, it''s not like my friends have ever said anything to me to suggest they wouldn''t want to hear about it.

Have you ever told people about being "almost engaged"? Did it come back to bite you? I suppose I''m a little worried about that. If I tell them and nothing happens for a year will they bug me about it or will I look like an idiot for thinking he''d propose.

 

[monkeyprincess]

I couldn't keep it in when we went to look at rings, and I told my family, friends, and coworkers. I kind of wish I hadn't because I keep getting questions from everyone, especially my family, asking when it is going to happen or why it hasn't happened yet or am I frustrated. It only frustrates me more!

 

[lilyfoot]

Honestly, my suggestion is to tell people on a need-to-know basis. I know you''re excited, but that''s what PS is for! Telling people in your life stuff like that is just asking to be bombarded with questions up until the minute it happens (and then there''s another whole set of questions .. ). Also, I think people wouldn''t be as excited when it actually happens because they knew it was coming, KWIM?

The only people I told were my mom (because we used an heirloom diamond that was in a piece of her jewelry), and my best friend (who has been with her BF 5 years, and is ready to get engaged. I didn''t want the news to completely shock her, so I told her a couple of months ago)

 

[LilyKat]

I don''t bring up the subject in general. I have mentioned that we are looking at rings to a few of my closest friends in conversation, when they''ve asked about my relationship and how things are going, but no more details than that. The rest is between me and my SO until it''s official

Partly as I don''t want to pile the pressure on - I don''t want the first question every time I see them to be, "so, has he done it yet?"

I personally wouldn''t email a bunch of people, but if you really want to share with a few close friends who you can trust to keep it quiet, there''s nothing wrong with that.

 

[lucyandroger]

I told my two best friends and my mom when we got the diamond. These are the women I talk to about everything and I like sharing these little steps in the process with them. I don''t mind them asking questions because I like to talk about getting engaged and the future wedding, etc. They''re my best friends and my mom so I know they''re interested and excited too!

 

[UnderBlue]

My girlfriends=my best friends from college, so not a lot of people.

I''m weird about coming out and saying when there''s "news" with me. I get the idea people will ask if they want to know. Nut how are they supposed to know if I never bring it up. I know it''s irrational.

I do feel a bit in competition with one of the friends and her BF. In my head I "deserve" to be engaged first since BF and I have been together longer. At the same time, I think it''s hard for me to talk about wedding things publicly because deep-down I feel I don''t deserve to get married because I''m plus-sized. (You have to admit the wedding **** out there doesn''t feature many women outside the accepted standard, in a lot of ways, not just size.)

 

[MayFlowers]

When my SO and I went ring shopping for the first time, the only people I told were my two best friends from college and my sister and her DH. I am very close with all of them and I really wanted to tell all of them because I was so excited! I knew they would be excited with me too. But, I just told them that we went and I tried some different rings on to get a feel for what we were looking for. I didn''t want to bombard them with tons of details nor did I want them to know every single thing about what my SO and I had talked about.

The LIW board is a great place for me because I love talking to other people about waiting and hearing about everyone''s engagements and other progresses. But, if I were to talk to my friends about every little thing that SO has done or said to remind me of how soon the engagement is coming, then they would probably get really annoyed with me.

I''m a rather private person anyways. So, I like to keep things between me and my SO. But I also definitely know how you feel about being in "competition". Especially when I am in school, it seems like every other week another girl comes into class and announces that she is engaged. I know it''s silly, but it almost makes me feel like me and my SO are "falling behind". I guess it''s just that I get a little bit jealous that I am still waiting and all these other girls are not. So, I say that if you want to tell anyone, then tell a few of your friends, but keep some of the details to yourself. That way, they can be excited with you, but they don''t have to know every single detail of what happened. If do decide to tell them, then maybe you could ask someone else how their relationship is going. More than likely they will ask about your relationship after they have talked and then you can bring it up casually.

 

[rierie26]

I''ve told my good friends and my mom that we were talking about engagement (no set dates or anything, just in general) and looking at rings and such. My friends didn''t really make anything of it, but my mom went around and told my whole family that we were getting married next year.

 

[4ever]

My best friend knows he has the ring and we''ll get engaged eventually but that''s it. I''m a good secret keeper and like to keep private things to myself.

 

[Londongirl1]

I know that as far as my family are concerned ''almost engaged '' does count. You''re either engaged

or you''re not

. There was no almost for me as my FI totally surprised me when he proposed and we sealed the deal there and then. If I were in your shoes I wouldn''t announce to everyone just a few close friends