Alcohol consumption in your household...

[Sabine]

My dh and I aren''t drinkers. We''ll have maybe one or two drinks (me wine, him wine or beer) when we get together with friends or on special occassions. We very rarely drink when it''s just the two of us at home together (maybe to finish a bottle of wine, or maybe a beer during a football game, etc.). This is our normal, but we both come from families where alcoholism is an issue, so we are a bit overconscious of drinking.

My brother and sil sound like you and your fi. They started drinking while going out a lot when dating (I think it started when my bro. got his first post-college job and felt like he could afford drinks with dinner, like a success thing), and once they got married it actually led to them drinking more, and now, honestly, they drink alcohol with every dinner. They don''t get drunk every night or anything, but when they came to visit I honestly had to go out and buy a case of beer because I knew they wouldn''t drink anything else with dinner. They don''t see it as a problem, it is their normal, but it''s more than I would be comfortable with.

 

[Cehrabehra]

My husband might drink a 6 pack a week - not a beer every day but sometimes two - and occasionally either a rum and coke or a martini. He drinks to inebriation about... 2 or 3 times a year at most and none of those are what I would call "drunk".

I drink less. I had a whole beer the other day and it was a lot lol About 2-3 times a year I may drink about 5 drinks and the rest of the year I drink about 5 total.

ETA - I generally don't bother drinking unless I'm going to drink enough to feel it. I was drinking a shot of limoncello every day (not all at once lol) until our bottle was gone - but it wasn't about the alcohol it was just a little sip at a time of pure heavenly nectar!!!!

 

[Arcadian]

Both of us have alcoholics in our family (specifically my dad, his mother) but though both of us drink we don''t do it in excess. Neither of us likes to drink during daylight hours either.

I guess for me its never been a big deal. I''m not alchoholic material. I will go through some really long dry spells of not even wanting to drink at all...like 6 month or more. When I do, its usually a single glass of something.

I probably drink most when i''m on vacation, which means I may have a drink a night for 7 days. And then I have a long dry spell of not wanting a drink.

He may have a couple a week, sometimes a little more if we are having a dinner party. For dinner parties at home when I''m in the mood to drink I stretch it to 2. I won''t be slur your words falling down drunk; more like singing show tunes drunk.

We do have a very well stocked bar since we love to have parties. But for us its not tempting to drink every night because you have to pay the piper in the morning!

-A

 

[Little Monster]

I almost never drink (a few drinks a few times a year) as my father has a drinking problem.

My BF drinks a beer or two once a week, maybe 2 glasses of wine once a week... Goes out with the guys for a few beers once a month.

We collect returnables from the few houses around us (they otherwise just recycle them) and we make a HECK of a lot more from any of their bags than our own. So we either don''t drink that much, or we''re surrounded by alcoholics : p

Just be careful - if you''re stopping to ask the question, there might just be a problem : (

 

[cnspotts]

It''s so smart that you''ve taken pause to reevaluate your situation.

I went through something like that too. When we did not live together we drank when we''d get together. We''d do fun stuff which including drinking, eating, etc. and then we''d part ways to go back to our normal without-each-other lives. Once we were living together in a normal routine the drinking and going out tamed down quite a bit. About a year later we found ourselves living apart again for a little over a year with me in a new city and him back home. He''d come visit every weekend and we do like before essentially "dating" on his visits while getting to know the new city we were moving to. We ate out a lot and that included going to the bars and drinking. Again once he joined me and we started living a normal life it became just that.......normal.

Now we drink at home as we feel like it because we stay fabulously stocked with a variety of liquors. I also homebrew, plus we dabble in wine a bit. Once in awhile we''ll go out and "tie one on" but that''s rare and it''s easier and fun to do it at home in front of our outdoor fire pit. For me I drink the average of 4 drinks a week, him = 5 beers, wine.

You''re probably okay and hopefully once the two of you are together the drinking will slow down too. Pay attention to signs like anxiety=drinking, bad day at the office=need for stiff drink, one for the road, bottles under the bed, driving with a cooler full of booze, Forgetting to land the plane, etc....then it might be time to really worry.

You could try a "dry" visit and see how that goes for each of you then decide how alcohol fits into your life together.

 

[jewelerman]

No Alcohol consumption in my home at all.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I like my good wine with my good food, so my husband and I probably have a bottle of wine a night on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, and perhaps once during the week with special dinner, or if a particular dish requires a red wine deglaze. Sunday or Saturday is always during a dinner with my sister and her husband, so we share that 1 or 2 bottles with them.

I''ve never been so drunk that I''ve gotten sick (I metabalize alcohol quickly, so a buzz doesn''t last long for me), and I normally have at most, 4 glasses of wine in a weekend. The reasons we drink - we simply love good wine, and enjoy the taste and experimenting with different flavours.

Reevaluating how much we drink was a great way to look at how many calories we actually waste. DH and I have been back to weight training over the past 2 months, so although I felt as if we were drinking a small amount, we were packing on the weight simply by drinking so much wine.

 

[HopeDream]

Both My BF and were raised in non-drinking households, and my grandfather was an alcoholic and died of liver cancer.

I cook with wine regularly, and once in a while BF will get a beer at a restaurant with our meal, or if we''re out for dinner with friends and they provide wine, he''ll have a glass, and I''ll have about an inch. I''ve never finished an entire cocktail, glass of wine, or beer because it makes me very very sleepy. (We have alcohol out about once a month).

In the summer (july and august) we might have beer or coolers in the fridge and would split a cooler or bottle of beer with dinner maybe 3 nights a week. Bf gets drunk with his friends in his hometown every New Years Eve (and stays the night) I don''t attend.

Both BF and I have a serious tea habit though: 4-5 cups a day! If you deprived us of tea, I think our lives would be unbearable! We''ve discussed drinking in the past and have come to the conclusion that neither of us are real party animals or social drinkers.

I think it''s good to do a habit audit every once in a while to see if there''s anything your life that needs to change.

 

[vespergirl]

I''m pregnant right now, so not at all, but usually we each have one to two drinks per day.

Both of our families are immigrants from Europe, where a daily glass of wine with dinner is part of the culture. My family also makes wine, so we were raised by having one sip with Sunday dinner from around age 6 or so, the way that things are done in wine-producing countries.

Many Americans from Protestant backgrounds have religious restrictions on drinking, but over much of the world, a daily glass of wine or beer (or the local spirit) is normal.

 

[deegee]

My husband doesn''t drink at all, ever. Alcoholism runs in his family. He''s addicted to sugared soft drinks, so he''s afraid to even try alcohol for fear of consuming drinks with alcohol the way he does his Pepsi. I drink a beer or two with dinner on the weekends, and occasionally one during the week.

 

[Laila619]

My DH and I rarely ever drink. Like 1-2 drinks a YEAR!

It just doesn''t even occur to us, and we don''t buy alcohol.

 

[junebug17]

I don't drink at all, I did enough drinking in my 20's to last me a lifetime. I stopped when we decided to start a family, and I just never started again. Alcoholism runs in my family, so I figured it was probably for the best to just not drink. My husband has 2 beers on Fri and Sat night, and will sometimes have one when we go out to eat.

Drinking is such a tricky thing, it can be so easy to cross the line into excessive drinking. I think it's good that you and fi are stepping back and looking at your drinking. Bottom line is if you think you guys may be drinking a little too much, cut back or stop and see how you feel.

 

[lilyfoot]

Me and my BF are young (21, 24 respectively), and IMO the drinking pattern you''re describing is excessive.

We are what I would consider average drinkers, not conservative, not heavy. When we go out with friends (very rarely), we may each have 2-3 mixed drinks. At home, we may drink 1 beer each or a margarita 3 nights out of the week, absolute maximum. Neither one of us gets drunk.

My BF''s father was an alcoholic, so it''s something that''s always in my mind.

I don''t plan on keeping alcohol in the house when we have children.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Never at home. A margarita maybe 5 times a year at our fav restaurant. That''s bout it.

 

[lulu]

Two Manhattans most evenings. With bitters.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

DH does not drink pretty much..he drinks 1-3 times a year. I drink about once a week if it's a busy birthday time, etc., but on average I'd say 2-4 drinks a month. So far this month I've had 2 drinks I think total. My max regardless is like 3 drinks a night if I am drinking on a weekend or something..I think I've only gone over that once. If it gives you any indication..the large bottle of Grey Goose lasts me 6 mos lol.

ETA: I don't think you two are going too crazy, but reassessing it isn't wrong either. Have to stay within your comfort zone financially and lifestyle-wise. I am kind of weird when it comes to drinking..didn't drink until I was 21 and I wasn't in greek life in school so I was never into huge parties with binge drinking, etc. I grew up with friends that had alcoholic parents and had alcoholism on both sides of my family. I just try to be cautious in my decisions and not go too wild. Drinking to me is a way to unwind and have a bit of fun, but I don't have to drink to have fun. Kind of like eating chocolate cake..I love chocolate cake, but don't want it every night. I also wouldn't eat so much cake that I throw up..that is just illogical.

 

[Dancing Fire]

i have a bar exam every friday night.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

My BF really doesn''t drink. He is not against alcohol, he just doesn''t like the way it makes him feel. I love red wine, and will have 1-2 glasses once a week, usually on a weekend day. It takes me about a month to go through a bottle (I have to vacuum seal it so I don''t waste it). My BF not drinking has been good for me, I have cut back a lot just because I usually drink with other people.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''m like Haven--we still have all of the leftover alcohol from our 2007 wedding.

I buy one bottle of Kahlua a year for a pie I make at Thanksgiving. And I have a bottle of Grand Marnier on hand for some cupcakes I like. We occasionally have beer in the fridge if D has friends over and I still have a full bottle of red in the fridge from a lasagna I made last month.

My father has always been a heavy drinker and it never appealed to me...I actually wish I enjoyed alcohol more, I know absolutely nothing about wines.

 

[kittybean]

I don''t drink at home at all, and I very seldom drink when I go out. I don''t like the taste of alcohol, and I get headaches from drinking just one or two drinks, so I tend to avoid alcohol. DH and his friends love good scotch, good bourbon, and good wine, so he almost always has a few drinks when we go out. At home, he''ll have a drink a few nights a week (martini as we''re making dinner or a beer with dinner). I think he drinks quite a bit less since we started living together because I don''t drink at all.

 

[cara]

We like to have a drink maybe half the nights a week. Well, some weeks its once or never and other weeks its four-five nights. But usually one drink each, only sometimes two. More often that's me, reaching to have a second glass of wine cause its tasty and is a shame to let it oxidize in the fridge. I'm not as much a fan of day plus old wine, and we try not to finish the bottle by ourselves most nights. Two drinks I generally will feel the next morning, not in a pukey way but just a mild effect that I'd rather do without, and who needs the calories of all those drinks.

So maybe think about what you are missing out on or what bothers you about the drinking? Cause that is your motivation to stop or cut down - maybe you'd rather be chipper in the morning, or use your caloric allotment on cake

or think that being mildly hungover regularly is a problem you'd rather not worry about and thus is your motivation to be more restrained. Here's an article on people managing their own excessive drinking spells without being or becoming traditional alcoholics.

 

[Elmorton]

DH homebrews beer, so it''s not really something you drink to excess ever - you drink it to enjoy the flavor. He might have one glass about every other day depending on the week and how he likes what he''s brewed recently. I might take a few sips of his beer or have my own, and we do about 1 bottle of wine per week, so between the two of us, we probably have something to drink 3 or 4 out of 7 days in the week. We don''t often order drinks when we go out to eat, nor do we typically go out to drink very often.

From what I can tell, most of our friends who are our age drink more often than us (one couple does a wine every night with dinner, another couple goes out with friends every week on a designated night). I don''t think any of them are alcoholics by any stretch of the imagination, but we''re just not that routine about it.

Drinking is normal - but drinking to get drunk, feeling like drinking is a necessity for a time of day or situation - that''s not normal.

 

[Mara]

I wasn't raised around alcohol so it can be a little foreign to me. I drink water almost exclusively though I do appreciate a margarita or fruity sangria once a week (before pregnancy).

I tend to think in general if you drink to accentuate the foods you are eating or because you appreciate something about the drink you are consuming other than it's alcohol content; you aren't drinking to get drunk or forget or fall asleep etc; and you are also not getting drunk/trashed/wasted and waking up with a hangover the next morning, you are probably not drinking to 'excess'. It is good to keep an eye on it and question it because if it DOES start to move into a problem area for you, then you will probably be more aware than most.

I think it's also good in general to know what effects long-term drinking can have on your body...just to be educated about what you are consuming (just like what you eat). Lastly, I agree with thing2 that it depends on how you were raised culturally..and what might have been normal in your household. Greg usually has a beer or glass of wine with dinner each night depending on what we are eating, and at first this was odd to me but now after almost 10 years it's normal even if I don't partake. I drink about 95% water which I know can be foreign to a lot of people!

 

[luckystar112]

I hardly ever drink. DH has a couple of beers every night with dinner. He likes the taste.

 

[Kelli]

My fiance and I live together, have for years. We really never drink at home or when it''s just the two of us, but we''re big social drinkers. I''d say almost never on weeknights, except for the rare occasion we have Friday off and go out on Thursday. But we probably drink at least a few beers every weekend. We love trying new beers! I wouldn''t think your situation is too bad, considering you''re not used to being around each other so much. It probably just seems like you''re celebrating all the time you get to spend together now. You also seem pretty smart to be thinking about it now when you first started to notice a difference. If it feels weird to you, maybe restrict yourself to weekends and special occasions?

 

[Cind11]

I almost never drink at home unless I am having a dinner for friends. And I might have one glass of wine when we go out to dinner. My DH probably drinks maybe twice a week and then probably max two drinks (usually beer) at a time. If nothing else alcohol is pretty calorie laden so I can''t imagine drinking it five days a week.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 11/15/2009 10:47:18 AM
Author:trillionaire
Question for you all... and yes, I recognize that this can be a sensitive subject for some folks...

Right now, I''d say we drink 5 of 7 days together

. I''m not worried about being addicted or anything like that, it''s more of an issue of us transitioning to a different lifestyle/relationship configuration... we haven''t moved-in together yet, so this is all still pretty new and novel, and we are actively talking about how to modify this as well as other lifestyle and budget areas... so I guess my purpose here is to have a conversation about drinking... what is normal/acceptable, and what is considered excessive. What are other singles and couples doing?

I would say drinking 5-7 days a week is excessive. You may not have a problem yet but what alcoholic ever noticed when they went from "no problem" to "problem". Alcoholics can lead successful careers so just because you are both maintaining for now doesn''t mean your body isn''t going through some chemical changes. It''s a good time to slow down and learn to enjoy life without drinking every day.

For me, I don''t have much use for the stuff. An occasional drink at dinner or a club is fine but I have no use for getting drunk at home. Too many other things to do that I want a clear mind for.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Between the two of us, we drink 24 beers a month (2 12-packs of microbrews). I consume *maybe* 5 of those, and FI is responsible for the other 19. He doesn''t drink on work nights, so when he does drink, he''ll have between 2 and 4 beers.

We''re regular drinkers, especially FI. But we don''t drink to get drunk or buzzed, and we don''t use alcohol to self-medicate. We''ve both gotten tipsy a few times over the past year, and we''ve experienced rare hangovers. Those instances aren''t healthy, of course, but they aren''t regular occurrences.

Ask yourself (& your FI) whether you''re fine saying "no" to your casual weeknight drinking. Would you rather be a bit buzzed, or stone sober? Some people may say, "Well who doesn''t want a buzz?" but I''d say (IMHO) that if you''d rather be buzzed than ''normal,'' you''re using a substance to ignore personal issues/stressors/problems. If you''d rather be sober and you have no problem saying no to the extra alcohol, then cut some of it out of your life, if for nothing but to avoid unneeded calories!

 

[that_someone_special]

We had a TON of alcohol left over from our halloween party, so FI is drinking about 1-2 beers a night now But normally, we don''t drink that often. I hardly drink anymore because a few medicines I''m on cause you to have a nasty reaction.. and it''s honestly not worth it. But I do love wine!!! mmmm


I would say to cut back to weekends only.. and the "after 12" rule too. Put your foot down before a huge problem occurs.

 

[Sha]

DH and I will have a glass of wine with dinner about once every two weeks or so.