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Who AGBF-A Girl''s Best Friend

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 26, 2003
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I am a married mother of one with a large-no, make that huge-yellow Lab named Biscuit. I have had dogs all my life, but never one as demented as Biscuit. He is, the private trainer I hired at great expense assured me, a rocket scientist compared to other dogs, but he has his own little ways. These include assaulting anyone who dares to come to our front door. Did I mention that after adopting this "free" dog I had to hire a trainer at enormous expense? So much for the important stuff :-).

I grew up in Fairfield County, Connecticut. Thst's the part of Connecticut (which is in New England) close enough for commutation to New York City. My husband grew up in northern Italy and came here on a Fulbright scholarship. My daughter was born in Colombia (where I bought some emeralds).

I started out planning to become an historian, but-while teaching school-got derailed by the kids. I found I was always passing out Kleenex in my office to girls crying about fights with their boyfriends and fights with their mothers. So I went back to school to become a social worker.

I speak French as well as English and hobble along in Spanish and Italian. I have also studied Greman (which I forgot) and recently dabbled in Portuguese. One reason I fell for my husband was his enormous competence with language. He was a Greek and Latin scholar and has, since then, become fluent in all the languages (save Portuguese) mentioned above as well as competent in Hebrew.

My engagement ring was a delicate 18 karat gold band with an oval on top that held two 1-point diamonds. I was a student when we got engaged and he was just out of school. We had no money and no interest in a "real diamond" engagement ring. (At that point I only liked colored stones, anyway!)

After a few years of marriage my husband also bought me an anniversary band with some very small diamonds (6 points? 7 points?) set in platinum. I did not get interested in diamonds until about 5 years ago.

Since the late 1990s I have acquired enough diamonds for a solitaire, a pendant, and two pairs of earrings. I also have one round brilliant that is currently unset and a red spinel from Pala Gems and two pear shaped diamonds that await setting. Most of my jewelry is in a safe deposit box since I wear it infrequently. I dress simply and so I often wear CZ earrings, a cheap watch, and a plain gold wedding band as my only jewelry.

I was one of the earliest posters on Diamond Talk, starting there in March 2000. I was banned quite early on once the bannings started and I know why I was. Although I posted there as, "A Girl's Best Friend", they changed my name to "MasASHell" and banned the letters "AGBF" for a while. (If one wrote in, "AGBF" one SAW, "****".) I was quite proud of being singled out for this because I love the movie "Z" about the Greek junta that banned things like music by Theodorakis and the letter "Z".

Yes, I am left wing. I oppose Greek juntas and Chilean juntas under Pinochet. I am married to a Republican banker whose vote I have to cancel out on each Election Day.
 
Yes, Rich. And, believe it or not, she was 10 when the picture was taken! Someone on Pricescope asked if that were me!

My daughter is very musical. She showed ability for the piano, which she started to study at around 7, but didn't like her teacher and quit after only three years. Had I changed teachers she might still be playing the piano :-(. She started to play cello (it was more like "play" cello!!!) in third grade. She also played clarinet in the band in fourth grade and saxophone in fifth, but really couldn't keep up the practice for two instruments. So she has only continued with cello. She labors at her homework rather than sailing through it and also studies ballet and tap. Kids can only do so much.

She is a great kid. She is not brilliant, but she has great tenacity. She will do better in life than I did, I am sure. I was quick, but capricious.

Thank you for asking about her.

Deb
 
Tenacity is more important than brilliance anyway, and enough tenacity will seem like brilliance.
 
I want to know more.

Tell me about the stint in Colombia. That's certainly out of the ordinary.

What in the world were you doing down there? Setting up distribution routes with Pablo Escobar?
 
I think (for what it's worth) you're leading a really cool life.
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Your daughter has a look of real sweetness about her.

I would love to see a picture of Biscuit!!! He sounds terrific. Leonid should make one of the "undetermined" forums all about our pets.
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On 11/3/2003 3:02:59 AM AGBF wrote:










I am married to a Republican banker whose vote I have to cancel out on each Election Day.

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Ha Ha I hear that...Greg is a staunch Repub and I am technically a Demo though I think more like a Repub. So we make sure to both vote on E-Day but in California it's a Demo state anyway (or it was ..we'll see now!) so he's fighting a losing battle!
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Kids are a trip!
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Each one is unique!
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Do tell about Columbia!
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Curious, what grade did you teach? You mention you are a social worker now. Will you ever go back to teaching?
 
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On 11/10/2003 9:39:44 AM fire&ice wrote:

Curious, what grade did you teach? You mention you are a social worker now. Will you ever go back to teaching? ----------------


I taught high school history. I taught the freshmen pre-history (the transistion from hunter gather societies to agrarian societies and early civilizations like Sumer); went through all of ancient Greek history then ancient Roman history; and wound up in the early Middle Ages. I taught the sophomores everything else (except-of course-American history, which they were to study as juniors ;-)). That is to say, I taught the sophomores the Middle Ages through the war in Vietnam. Not bad for two years, huh ;-)? I also team taught a seminar for seniors. It was like the old saw about Western Civilization as taught in college: if you went to the bathroom you missed the French Revolution :-).

I don't think I will teach history again (although one never knows). I am hoping to become a school social worker.

Thanks for asking.

PS-I am planning to post a picture of Biscuit and some of my daughter, but I have never used a scanner and am trying it out with these photos. If I ever get them scanned, I will post them and also tell you about Colombia!
 
This was our Christmas card a few years ago. I tried to replace this photo below with a cropped and resized photo, but Pricescope wouldn't let me. Does anyone know why? (I changed the name of the resized and recropped photo so it didn't have the same name as the old photo! That was unacceptable, however :-(.)

Bisccorrectsize.jpg
 
Another try :-)

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AGBF, you have a beautiful daughter! Absolutely amazing. I enjoyed your story as well.
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This is an attempt at another year's Christmas card. (Thank you for the kind words, caratgirl. I scanned three photos at once. If all works out there is one more to post after this one :-). )

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Is she lovely or what?
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I love her pale blue dress & Peter Pan collar. Can't believe I just typed that as I hated dresses at her age. Your girl has huge eyes and lovely features. She looks like she might be tall, too.
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And you weren't fooling about Biscuit (whose name I mentally pronounce "Beesqueet", en Francais.)
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He looks massive, goofy and endearingly sweet-natured.
 
This is the third picture I scanned today. The picture was taken last autumn on the same day as the one used in my avatar. It was our Christmas card picture last year (2002).

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Deb

You are blessed; your daughter is a lovely young woman. I am humble in the face of youth and gentleness and such innocent beauty.

win
 
Your daughters are absolutely beautiful and look very classic...keep an eye on those two!
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Great bone structure!!
 
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On 11/10/2003 9:38:49 PM Mara wrote:



Your daughters are absolutely beautiful and look very classic...keep an eye on those two!
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Great bone structure!!

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Thanks, Mara, but it is only one! I didn't post the pictures in very good order, but they are all of the same kid. And if you meant Biscuit was a daughter...shhh! He is a *BOY*.

I have decided that he is the worst-I mean the most rambunctious and least behaved-dog I have ever owned *because* he is a boy. (I adore him; I hope that is clear. But he is *such* a total nut case!!) Since we are discussing her, I will tell you about Whitney now.

Whitney is the reason for the trip to Colombia, land of orchids and emeralds but also-now-land of violence and death and drugs. It has deteriorated a lot since I was there in 1992, but there were bombings in 1992 as well. As wealthy men went about their business with heavily armed (as in with machine guns) bodyguards. There was an earthquake on one of my trips and some other natural disaster on another. The natural disasters didn't affect me where I was staying, but their turning off the electricity sure did!

Here is a country with vast hydro-electric resources and they shut off the electricity for many hours each day! Eight hours? Ten? It was a set schedule. One knew when it would be on and when it would be off!

I was in a fifth floor apartment. That meant walking up and down four (or was it five?) flights of stairs in the dark carrying a baby in a baby carrier. It meant sterilizing nipples in water I had boiled at the times when the power *was* on, so that when it was off I could use them. It meant sterilizing water in advance so that I could make bottles with it later when the electricity would be off. Being a mother of a new baby for the first time is hard enough without trying to do it in Colombia! (Not that the *Colombians* have much choice!)

Whitney was seven weeks old when we got her. Usually couples went, together, to the orphanage to meet the foster mother and receive the baby from her. My husband was stuck in Italy, however, so I arrived alone from the US. The director of the orphanage, the daughter of a former president of Colombia, had me go to her home. I met one of the former first ladies of Colombia and my daughter on the same day. She was beautiful!!! She had black spiky hair and very blue eyes. The eyes stayed blue for two years or more (now they are hazel) and her later hair was light brown.

Colombia was truly great. I will always love it. I am incredibly sad to see it as it is now. There is so much more to Colombia than drugs, but the drug trade affects everyone. One never called the police there. One never knew what they would do! Only adoption seemed to be unaffected by corruption. I have to commend the Colombians on how well they handled it, preserving the rights of a birth mother (who was given a month to change her mind after signing a baby over for adoption) and screeing the applicants thoroughly. The court in which the case was heard was done by lottery so that the same judges didn't see the same attorneys all the time and grow too chummy.

If you ever want your life gone over with a fine-toothed comb, try international adoption! After the homestudy by a social worker *here* (with State police checks and leters of reference as well as an inspection of your home), you get to provide pounds of paper work to the foreign country from which you are adopting, all officially translated, notarized, and authenticated! My husband and I were fingerprinted for the FBI every 6 weeks...I guess in case we decided to commit a crime in that 6 weeks since the last fingerprint check! But looking back I am grateful for every second of that process. I cannot tell you what that child means to me.

And, yes, of *COURSE* she knows she is adopted. And she knows I bless her birth mother for giving her life. And when she now yells at me that I'm not her real mother anyway, I am not at all threatened. She's all mine. And the sweetest most loving and affectionate kid ever to hit adolescence (may God help me through it!!!).


Deb
 
Ah, I love seeing those pictures of Whitney. She really is a gorgeous creature, and I'm not just saying that to be polite!
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On 11/11/2003 9:27:26 AM AGBF wrote:





I have decided that he is the worst-I mean the most rambunctious and least behaved-dog I have ever owned *because* he is a boy. (I adore him; I hope that is clear. But he is *such* a total nut case!!)



OH MY GOD.......it's not just me then. I have said the same damn thing about my dog.....it's totally because he's a BOY!



Whew! Deb, your post had me laughing my head off! Seriously, up until two years ago, all the dogs I've had have been girls. Enter my beautiful little sheltie boy, Nicky.....he is THE worst trouble-maker I've ever seen. TOTALLY the same M.O......rambunctious and stubborn, has a mind of his own, and truly (and I BELIEVE this).....CANNOT control himself.



I take him outside to take care of business.....if he hears another dog within a MILE of our house.....barks and runs around like a maniac. I scold him and tell him to be quiet.....looks right AT ME and barks! Doesn't matter how much trouble he's going to get in....he just CANNOT control himself.



He's also the biggest joy.......more unabashedly animated and playful than any other dog I've had. He'll play *by himself* in the living room....picking up the tennis ball and tossing it into the air.....then charging it where it lands, barking at it and doing "drive-bys" until he picks it up again to throw it. I call him a total nut case, too....I've joked to my friends that he must be playing with his imaginary friend during these times. He's afraid of bubbles, balloons, and all kinds of silly things for no reason at all. He's just a psycho.



Whenever he acts up, I swear to my friends that it's BECAUSE HE'S A BOY. It's great to see someone else has had that happen, too!



LMAO......can't help but love him, though.....I think in spite of myself, I'm more attached to him than any of his predecessors just because he's so precocious.

 
What a great story about Colombia and Whitney! She is a very beautiful girl.

I lived in Colombia as an exchange student in the late 70's. You are right that it is a beautiful, but sad country. There was a tremendous amount of crime, kidnappings and "police state" instances when I was there. I can only imagine how much worse it must be now. But...despite all that, I left a piece of myself there when I left. (Along with a serious boyfriend
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. I wonder if I would have gotten an emerald e-ring if I had stayed and married him!)
 
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On 11/11/2003 1:41:54 PM aljdewey wrote:




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On 11/11/2003 9:27:26 AM AGBF wrote:





Funny, it's my boy that is the love. It's my girl that is truly a b*tch.

I didn't know your daughter was adopted. She is beautiful & talented. Although I am sure all that "inspection" was a hassle & intrusive, sometimes I feel birth parents should go through the same screening process. My friends joke that I had to go through more screening for my dog that a human.
 
Our son is also adopted--I can definitely sympathize with the "screening" element. I kept telling people it was like applying for a job with the CIA. I had a Secret security clearance when I was in the service, and the scrutiny was nothing like what we had to go through.




We did not do an international adoption, though; we wanted to know our son's birthparents. We waited about 18 months before they contacted us, during which we had a couple of failed matches that did not work out. We ended up developing a great relationship with them (more her than him, though we are still in contact with both). In fact, we became so close to our son's birthmother that, out of the blue this spring, she offered to be a surrogate mother for us if we wanted her to! We had another adoption that fell apart after the birth last year and were really depressed about the prospect of having to go through it all again because we wanted our son to have siblings. So we went ahead with the surrogacy, and she is now pregnant and due early next month.
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Adoption is a strange and wonderful experience. I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone, but we have definitely grown through this process.
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Deb,

This was printed in our paper tonight. I thought it beautiful and it made me think of you and Whitney. Like F&I I didn't realize that Whitney was adopted. You have a beautiful life story.

I'm still slowly getting through, with great interest, the rest of your stories, too.
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Anyway, here it is....enjoy.

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.

P.S. LawGem, this is for you and your wife too.
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Aloha.
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Thank you, K-mom. I did know that poem and have always loved it. There is another poem, about the different kinds of love given by the birth mother and the adoptive mother ("Two Kinds of Love", I believe) that is also beautiful.

The Connecticut chapter of LAPA (the Latin American Parents Association) has a Welcome Home party each January for all the children who came home the previous year. At that we got a plaque with a poem. Naturally, it still stands on my dresser. It says,

"Born for us in another land,
Chosen for us by God's guiding hand;
Our prayers have been answered,
The waiting's now past;
Our dear little daughter is here,
Home at last!"

Thanks again, K-mom :-)

Hugs,
Deb
 
K-Mom...beautiful Poem...Regina has a daughter from her first marriage and this expresses how I feel about her!...




AGBF...Your daughter is absolutely beautiful...
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Here is the other poem. In looking for it I saw a lovely website with an illustration of Moses in the rushes as a baby...I have to go back to it :-).


The Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember
The other you called mother.

Two different lives shaped
to make yours one.
One became your
guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life
And the second taught you
to live in it.
The first gave you
a need for love,
And the second was
there to give it.

The first gave you
a nationality
The other gave you a name.
One gave you talent,
The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions
The other calmed your tears.
One saw your first
sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you up-
it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God sent her
straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
Heredity or environment-
which are you the
product of?
Neither my darling, neither,
Just two different kinds
of love.
 
Uh oh, I must be PMSing...this is the 2nd poem that has made me cry today.
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