Who AGBF-A Girl''s Best Friend

[AGBF]

"Moses' mother knew she could not care for him and protect him from the dangers around them. So she placed her baby in the care of one who could. She trusted that God would watch over him and guide him along the way."

*
"Adoption is one of the greatest success stories in human experience. Just as spouses who are unrelated can become family, so too can children and parents who are not bioliogically linked."

Children at school who have learned Whitney was adopted have said things that one might construe as "unkind", things like, "why did your real mother give you away?" or "don't you ever get to see your real mother"?

I see these sentiments not as unkind, but as coming from their own experience. The other children my daughter knows get their sense of being safe, loved, and protected from living with their parents. These people are important because they are the people who cared for and bonded with the baby. The baby trusted they would always be there. In most cases they were *also* the biological parents.

When the other children hear that Whitney "lost" her "parents" the other children they think of losing *their* parents-who are the people who raised them *and* their biological parents. The idea is, of course, terrifying.

They need to know that the people who raise children will never ever give them away, they have to know that they are safe.

I tell Whitney in private, however, that when someone asks about her real mother she can ask *HIM* if he remembers the moment of his birth and who was there with him. I know he does not. I know that the people a child remembers are the people who raised him. I also know that that the reality is that a lovely 17 year old girl...unmarried and impregnated by a man in his 40s who was probably married and a father to people her age somewhere else...gave this miracle of mine her life .

View attachment Moses.jpeg

 

[Kamuelamom]

Sigh.....

AGBF has me extremely emotional today.

(((((((HUGS))))))) to AGBF. And one for Whitney too.

 

[Jaded Gem]

Hey AGBF!

Much apologies for not reading your bio earlier. I just wanted to say, "God Bless you." I think it is wonderful that you shared your story about your daughter, Whitney. She is indeed beautiful. Yeah, with other Pricescopers, I also thought your avatar was a picture of you. Nonetheless, I feel even sight unseen that you are a beautiful person. Also you are a very educated and a very informative person to turn to for up to date information about politics, economy, and child raising issues. Gosh, all I have to do is turn to your posts for the full scoop.

Yeah, it would be a blessing in this world if every child who needed a parent could be adopted and given the love that he/she deserves. There are so many children out there. Your story was an inspirational one, and I know that you feel blessed with Whitney as I am sure that she feels blessed with you and your husband. Keep the spirit alive. I'm sure you will be blessed with a lot of spirit going around as you daughter heads into the teenager years.

 

[AGBF]

----------------
On 2/3/2004 5:28:14 PM Jaded Gem wrote:

Keep the spirit alive. I'm sure you will be blessed with a lot of spirit going around as you daughter heads into the teens years.

----------------

She came home from school at 7:30 this morning because when she got to school she felt sick. After eating breakfast she felt better and proceeded to ruin my day. She asked (with disgust), as I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, if this was what I did all day. She had fits of the giggles for no reason and ate everything in sight. I am not completely sure I will make it to her teenage years, but I certainly do accept your good wishes!!!

Deb

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yes, me too. . .I also thought that was you in the avatar photo. I imagined you playing your cello while wearing your new tanzanite/diamond ring

! Wonderful story about your daughter's adoption process. Although it sounds so stressful, I'm betting it was worth every background check as you've got an elegant and downright gorgeous little teenager to keep you on your toes! lol


Michelle

 

[Jaded Gem]

Can't wait to hear about these amusing this "teenager ruined my life" stories!

Sorry to be so cynical and have so much sarcasm running in my veins. I guess I was a "Nightmare Teenager on 15th Place" during my youth. The times that my parents yelled at me were quite memorable. I don't think I was that bad per se; just a tad on the wild side. Kids can be great though for many things. For example my mom and my husband's mom (I believe from the symptoms) are going through the menopause and hot flash stages and scenarios. I really see the full spectrum of emotions at times, try to offer a grain of advice, and then I had only wished that I had kept my big mouth shut.

Then on very cold days like this winter, my mom will have the fan blowing at the whole family during dinnertime. She says "she's hot and doesn't know why it is so hot" even though the heater isn't triggered until it drops under 70 degrees. Don't ask me about the car rides...let's just say all the windows are up except the window that is rolled down on her side. Did I ever tell you that we can get harsh winters out here in the midwest. Oh and my dad. I love him to death, but either he doesn't listen to me when I talk or he's losing both his memory and his hearing at the same time. Maybe this is retribution for my rambunctious activities as a youth gone wild. But nonetheless, my parents are loved by all their children, and I remind myself no matter how weird they act at times that they are very special people indeed.

 

[Kamuelamom]

AGBF, where are you? Haven't heard a peep from you lately. Please check in when you are able.

 

[AGBF]

Hi, K-mom-

I have a new job and, although it is very part-time, it comes with a commute, too! Add to that that my husband will not do anything to help, even if I work in the evening, and you can picture the added time pressures . Last night I got home and found (at 8:00) no one had eaten and the dog hadn't even been let out since I left the house in the morning! I don't really have a "desk job" where I can use a computer, although the agency has computers. As you know I am a social worker, and I was hired to be a psychotherapist. I really just meet with one person after another. The hard part is that I cannot help them with some of the real life problems they have. Poor people come in physically sick, unemployed, and needing housing and I can't help them get housing. There IS no affordable housing. Getting them health care is also very hard. The waiting list for clinic appointments can be months, even for someone having chronic pain. Emergency room care can mean a wait of an entire day and result in being sent home without a work-up or diagnosis and no better off. I am seriously concerned about how we treat the fragile, vulnerable members of society. I don't have one young, able-bodied person on my caseload. I have people who once worked and now cannot due to sickness or an inability to find a job. I also see children. The agency cannot afford to see the people I am seeing. They need insurance payments or they will go bankrupt as another family agency in the area did. They want me to see people whose insurance will pay for sessions...but the people referred to me are all poor.

I used to hate Lyndon Johnson because he persisted in carrying on the war in Vietnam. Now I see him, with his Great Society dream, as an angel compared to what we have running the country. When did we give up on the sick and the unfortunate? What happened to our souls?

(Still glad I popped back in?)

Deb

 

[winyan]

AGBF...

I think our souls got over taken by what I call the "me" generation. All they think of is "me". It's a generation personified by the person in the White House.

Personally I'm sickened by it. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I fear it will not be pretty. I greatly fear class warfare.

win

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Deb- what city is yor daughter from? I spent 6 months living in Bucaramanga, Colombia in 1993. It is a whole different world over there.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 8/30/2005 3:14:17 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Deb- what city is yor daughter from? I spent 6 months living in Bucaramanga, Colombia in 1993. It is a whole different world over there.

Hi, Tacori E-ring...I was shocked to see a thread about me up in the Who's Who area! No one has posted to this thread in quite a while (a year and a half!).

My daughter was born in Santafe de Bogota (Bogota) in the Andes mountains. I realize you know Colombia, but others may not. Although Bogota is on the Equator, its high altitude keeps it cool enough to be comfortable year round. The Colombian people consider Bogota cold, although the Americans who travel there (at least those of us from New England) find it warm enough for comfort. I was told that the new parents from the US say, "Great weather!" and let their babies stay in diapers or summer clothes, then the Colombians bundle them up if the babies must return to foster care.

Since I arrived on a weekend I got to visit the home of Ximena Lleras Puga, the then director of the orphanage caring for my daughter. The baby was warmly dressed in a sweater outfit that I thought offered more than adequate protection from the 70 degree weather, but Ximena tucked her blanket around her more tightly when I took her out of the house, as if I were failing to protect her from a blizzard!

Bogota was dangerous then, but it is far more dangerous now. My family is all driving me crazy and I have to go!!!

Deb

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I know it was an older post but seeing how your daughter is from Colombia, that got my attention. I know Bogota and it is much cooler there than other cities. I spent 6 months there when I was 13 years old. I lived with a family and went to school and was shocked by the vast differences. My school had tall walls surrounding it with guards who had guns. One of my friends had body guards due to the fact her father worked in the government. A week before I went, a plane was hijaked and a classmate''s mother was never found. To this day I am so surprised my parents let me go. It was my way of running away from home with permission. I did go back with my family when I was 17 and it was so nice to see my "colombian family". It was a difficult time for me so it was great to be able to go make and "make peace" with Colombia. I would love to take my DF there but it is very unsafe and scary. we are inviting them to our wedding but who knows if they will come. I have no Colombian blood in me but it is funny that I feel Colombian. It was such an unique experience.

 

[AGBF]

This is a photograph I took of my daughter when she was around seven weeks old. It is one of my favorites. I am posting it now because I wanted to make it available to women who are discussing babies in another thread today . One thing I want to mention: despite what you think you are seeing, my daughter's eyes were very, very blue, not brown-as they appear in this photo-until she was over two years old-then they turned grey. That may only matter to a mother, but I'm the mother!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

She is just beautiful!!! We are incredibly blessed to have 2 birth children and a little angel adopted from China. If I can get my hands on a scanner, I''ll post her pictures sometime. I wish everyone trying to have a baby without success could come to know that there are babies out there just waiting for a mommy right now. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

 

[Mara]

Deb your daughter''s baby picture is just darling. We actually look fairly similar in our baby pictures! Especially gotta love the big dark shock of hair!!

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 2/3/2004 6:05:31 PM
Author: AGBF

----------------
She came home from school at 7:30 this morning because when she got to school she felt sick. After eating breakfast she felt better and proceeded to ruin my day. She asked (with disgust), as I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, if this was what I did all day. She had fits of the giggles for no reason and ate everything in sight. I am not completely sure I will make it to her teenage years, but I certainly do accept your good wishes!!!

Deb

HI:

Despite the age of this post, it is one of the most endearing things I've read lately....now that you are into those "teenage" years (amd we are just entering them!), what words of wisdom do you offer? Something interesting you have been doing lately (you ARE very interesting....)

cheers--Sharon

 

[AGBF]

Date: 7/27/2006 7:38:52 PM
Author: Mara
Deb your daughter's baby picture is just darling. We actually look fairly similar in our baby pictures! Especially gotta love the big dark shock of hair!!

I did fall in love with that! I saw that in a photo sent to me by the orphanage; it was taken when she was first born! Her hair as a young child was absolutely stick straight and vey fine. When she got older she had totally different hair: wavy and thick. Did you hair change, Mara? (Not that you will see my question in this thread!) Also: can you post a baby picture of yourself in this thread?

Deb

 

[AGBF]

Date: 7/27/2006 10:33:50 PM
Author: canuk-gal
Despite the age of this post, it is one of the most endearing things I''ve read lately....now that you are into those ''teenage'' years (amd we are just entering them!), what words of wisdom do you offer?

I don''t have many words of wisdom, Sharon! I am a novice! You would be better off asking someone with grown children or someone with four or nine children who have made it through their teens! All I can tell you is that my one has changed, just as she used to change between childhood stages, as she has gone through her pre-teen and early teen years. Sometimes that actually gives me hope!

Deb

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 7/28/2006 8:44:55 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 7/27/2006 10:33:50 PM
Author: canuk-gal
Despite the age of this post, it is one of the most endearing things I''ve read lately....now that you are into those ''teenage'' years (amd we are just entering them!), what words of wisdom do you offer?

I don''t have many words of wisdom, Sharon! I am a novice! You would be better off asking someone with grown children or someone with four or nine children who have made it through their teens! All I can tell you is that my one has changed, just as she used to change between childhood stages, as she has gone through her pre-teen and early teen years. Sometimes that actually gives me hope!

Deb

HI Deb:

Alas, we all are. Even our neighbour, who has 6 children (from two to 16 years) throws up her hands and just shakes her head; just when you think you have it figured out.......

cheers--Sharon

 

[Mara]

Date: 7/28/2006 7:44:36 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 7/27/2006 7:38:52 PM
Author: Mara
Deb your daughter''s baby picture is just darling. We actually look fairly similar in our baby pictures! Especially gotta love the big dark shock of hair!!

I did fall in love with that! I saw that in a photo sent to me by the orphanage; it was taken when she was first born! Her hair as a young child was absolutely stick straight and vey fine. When she got older she had totally different hair: wavy and thick. Did you hair change, Mara? (Not that you will see my question in this thread!) Also: can you post a baby picture of yourself in this thread?

Deb

Yes my hair was a big bunch of dark, straight hair when I was born....it changed when I was a few years old to being very curly and thick. Bane of my existence really!!!

I don''t have any pictures of myself when I was a baby here at home though!

 

[Colored Gemstone Nut]

Date: 7/27/2006 10:33:50 PM
Author: canuk-gal

Date: 2/3/2004 6:05:31 PM
Author: AGBF

----------------
She came home from school at 7:30 this morning because when she got to school she felt sick. After eating breakfast she felt better and proceeded to ruin my day. She asked (with disgust), as I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, if this was what I did all day. She had fits of the giggles for no reason and ate everything in sight. I am not completely sure I will make it to her teenage years, but I certainly do accept your good wishes!!!

Deb

HI:

Despite the age of this post, it is one of the most endearing things I''ve read lately....now that you are into those ''teenage'' years (amd we are just entering them!), what words of wisdom do you offer? Something interesting you have been doing lately (you ARE very interesting....)

cheers--Sharon

Words Of Wisdom? Our daughter April is entering How should I phrase this, "Her challenging pre-teenage years" It makes me feel better when I read post I can relate to because the authenticity of most of us enduring the same struggles makes things a little easier. Mood Swings, Dirty Looks, Rolling Eyes, questioning why? I think as kids become older it becomes a balancing act of not being too young to take them by the hand and getting older and not wanting any peer opinions period. If I could skip ages 13-18 and let her live in the house from 18-23, as a trade I would do it

. Part of the process is the struggle and this more or less will most likely stay constant until theu leave the nest. The real struggle is within them and for us to help them to define the active members of society they will be when they fly the coop...

 

[AGBF]

Date: 7/30/2006 7:45:43 AM
Author: Colored Gemstone Nut

Part of the process is the struggle and this more or less will most likely stay constant until theu leave the nest. The real struggle is within them and for us to help them to define the active members of society they will be when they fly the coop...

My father, who is 85 (and very good with adolescents, including his three adolescent granddaughters), has said that adolescents need an aging vat. Might that be a viable alternative to all this struggling stuff?

Deb

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Oh Deb, she was a beautiful baby (I am sure she is a beautiful young woman now). My Colombian "sister" is coming to my wedding. I can''t wait to see her!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 8/1/2006 4:32:40 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Oh Deb, she was a beautiful baby (I am sure she is a beautiful young woman now). My Colombian ''sister'' is coming to my wedding. I can''t wait to see her!

I rarely see any news about upcoming weddings. Can you post a link here to a thread about yours so that I can follow along? If you don''t see my thread, I will have to go looking for yours .

Deb

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/3/2006 8:04:56 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 8/1/2006 4:32:40 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Oh Deb, she was a beautiful baby (I am sure she is a beautiful young woman now). My Colombian ''sister'' is coming to my wedding. I can''t wait to see her!

I rarely see any news about upcoming weddings. Can you post a link here to a thread about yours so that I can follow along? If you don''t see my thread, I will have to go looking for yours .


Deb

I started a thread but will start another one when I finally get pictures. I wanted to update you. I was calm, cool, and collected for most of the day but when I saw my Colombian sister in our receiving line I almost lost it. She was shaking and crying and I was SO happy to see her. I hadn''t seen her in at least 10 years. Her parents kept calling her cell so they could congratulate me. They are so sweet. The connection was so bad but I was just happy I could say that I was thinking of them. Hopefully my DH and I can go visit them sometime (if it is safe). Have you ever taken your daughter back to Colombia?

 

[Skippy123]

Deb, I enjoyed reading about you. Your daughter is beautiful. Your emerald collection sounds beautiful; I enjoy getting to know you. Any pics of the bellarina?? Hugs!!!

 

[Maisie]

I have really enjoyed reading your thread Deb. Your daughter is beautiful. One of my daughters was born with black spikey hair too! It was so cute!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 8/31/2008 11:23:50 AM

Author: Maisie

I have really enjoyed reading your thread Deb. Your daughter is beautiful. One of my daughters was born with black spikey hair too! It was so cute!

Thanks, Maisie. All your children are gorgeous. There isn''t one who could not be a professional model! I''d love to see the photo of the one born with the black, spikey hair, though. Mara has sid that she was another such baby!


Deb

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Where is Mara, by the way.

I haven''t seen hide nor hair of her since I''ve been back.

 

[Harriet]

Deb,
I haven''t forgotten about our philosophical discussion. I''m still too spaced out.