Wedding After elopement party...newbie with questions?

[StarvingMusician]

I''ve been lurking for a while, and finally registered today! This looks like a helpful, happy place, and maybe you could help us?

My almost-fiance and I want to elope this summer. We would like to have a party afterwards with our friends and family, but we have a few concerns. Could the knowledgable people of this forum help us out? Thank you so much!

1) What kind of party works best? We were thinking cake and cocktails, a little bit dressy but not over the top. Has anyone had a party like this? Did it work out well?

2) Who should we invite? We have a few close friends, and we both have small families. We do, however, have large extended families that we are not close too with a few exceptions. Is there a way that we can only have the people we are close to without hurting anyones feelings?

3) We are worried that this may look like we are just asking for gifts. We don''t need any presents, is there a tasteful way to put this on the invitations?

Thanks so much!

 

[havernell]

Welcome StarvingMusician! This forum is generally quite helpful, so I hope you'll get some good suggestions.

As for your first two questions, I would say that you and your fiance can do whatever you want with the party! Just like there is not one "right" way to do a wedding reception, there is no one "right" way to do an elopement party. Some wedding receptions are just short cake and punch receptions, while others are five course meals, dancing, the whole nine yards. It just depends on what the bride and groom want!! Same for the formalness/dress code of the event- some receptions are black tie while others are super casual. So, make it whatever type of party you want! There are no rules!

Same goes for the guest list, some wedding celebrations have 500 guests (aka- everyone the bride and groom have ever met) while some brides and grooms prefer to have super-small celebrations with only immediate family and close friends. Again, it's up you you and your fiance regarding the level of intimacy you prefer for your wedding celebration. If you want to "include" your extended families without inviting them to your after-elopement party, you could always send them a wedding "announcement" to just say "hey, wanted to let you know that we got married!"

In terms of inviting a few extended family members but not others, I think that kind of depends on your family dynamics. Will those who are not invited who are of the the same category of relations as others who are invited be offended, or will they not mind (since, after all, they are not close to you)? Again, in the end it's totally your decision if you want to invite some but not all extended family, but make that decision after considering if it's worth putting up with the potential family drama if some people aren't invited. On the other hand, those who are not close to you may not come even if they are invited, so that could solve your problem right there!

Finally, in terms of asking for no gifts, I don't have any advice but hopefully others will chime in. However, even if you ask for no gifts, I'm sure many of your friends and family who love you will want to give you something to say "congrats." So, just be prepared for that.

Good luck planning your fabulous post-elopement party! Sounds fun to me!

 

[Independent Gal]

Who doesn't love cake? Who doesn't love cocktails? Sounds great to me! And you can definitely keep it restricted to those you actually love. No problemo.

As for the presents thing, you can as easily spread by word of mouth that you don't want presents as you can registry info. Just tell a few key people (your folks, your best pals) that you really only want peoples' presence, not their presents, and let them spread the word for you.

 

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sorry I double posted

 

[[email protected]]

I am in just the same boat....it''s kinda lonely out here as a semi bride.
I am planning two receptions one in Jul one in Sept. The Sept is at a cool waterfront bar in Sf, the July in in the hamptons. It''s kinda hard getting excited about all this planning when you are already married.
The bar party will have a blues band and finger food plus cupcakes, the Hamptons party will be a clambake/bbq, with dancing on the beach.
Just nobody is so excited since I am already married.

 

[mel047]

Just a thought in terms of the no presents idea. Maybe you could request no presents and suggest that if someone is adamant about some type of gift, they could donate money to a charity of your choice

If you like the idea, maybe you could say something like...

No presents necessary; your presence is a present enough. However, if you would like, donations will be accepted to be given to _______ charity

 

[[email protected]]

Old time manners say you can not say no gifts...but maybe times have changed!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 5/19/2008 4:25:55 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Who doesn''t love cake? Who doesn''t love cocktails? Sounds great to me! And you can definitely keep it restricted to those you actually love. No problemo.


As for the presents thing, you can as easily spread by word of mouth that you don''t want presents as you can registry info. Just tell a few key people (your folks, your best pals) that you really only want peoples'' presence, not their presents, and let them spread the word for you.

What IG said!