After 38 years I have finally conquered my skin picking disorder!

[YadaYadaYada]

Apparently skin picking is rather rare as disorders go, and it’s a good thing because it’s a pain in the butt to stop since you always have access to your fingers.

This started at a young age, I actually learned this behavior from my older brother, except he only picked at the skin on his thumbs. I picked every single one of my fingers as a child, I also bit my nails, nobody ever said anything, not my family, no doctors or teachers ever asked about them. There was only one person who ever asked me about it, a girl in high school, she thought I was self-harming and asked me if I needed help. Of course it is so embarrassing to have this problem and it is connected to OCD so it is very hard if not impossible to control. I spent a lot of time hiding my hands, even from my own kids because I didn’t want them to start. When I had an office job it was tough having to type with these fingers all torn up and to be honest, I’m amazed they never got infected.

Somewhere along the way I stopped picking my pinky and ring fingers, then I got to where it was just my thumbs but they have been my crutch for a long time. Stopped biting my nails about five years ago but was still picking the thumbs. The last couple of years have been challenging personally, a huge falling out with my SIL and this year the rest of DH’s family without discussion has cut us off. I won’t go in to the details on that, but this means our kids have been left out of holidays and birthdays with their cousins, it has been a tough time emotionally.

About a month ago I realized that I didn’t have the urge to pick at my fingers and they were looking better. Now in the past I have been able to stop for short periods (like my wedding) but it has been a struggle to not go at them. This time is different, it’s like the switch got flipped and that obsessive need to pick just stopped. It’s actually a really wonderful thing, I’m 44 so this has been a habit for 38 years roughly.

Just had to share this because it’s really a huge relief to stop having to hide my fingers in person and in pictures!

Would love to hear from anyone else who struggled with something similar and was able to overcome it!

 

[stracci2000]

Sister, I'm so proud of you!!!! I know how hard this is!!
Isn't it wonderful when you don't have to hide your hands!

You and I also have this in common. This compulsion runs in my family! Mom, sister and me. (Also DH, but don't tell him I told you all....)
We're all a bunch of OCD people on Mom's side. I firmly believe it is hereditary. I feel it is a kind of self-soothing ritual.
I bit my fingernails really bad as a child, stopped for a while in high school, then started up again in Art School.
I finally stopped when I got my first job in an art studio.
I still pick at my fingers a bit, but I can stop myself when I put my mind to it.

But I have suffered with trichotillomania (hair pulling) since about the age of 6.
I still stumble a little, but for the last 10 years or so, I've hardly pulled at all.

It is sooo hard to control and stop these types of impulses.
I'm so glad you stopped! Now you must stay the course.
{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@stracci2000, I know that you get it because you’ve mentioned the hair pulling before. It’s almost like you get into a trance state when picking or pulling, at least that’s how it was for me. Good on you for being able to overcome it.

I realized after I posted this that a month is really not long enough to use the word “conquered” but this time is just different, like I’m just done.

 

[stracci2000]

@stracci2000, I know that you get it because you’ve mentioned the hair pulling before. It’s almost like you get into a trance state when picking or pulling, at least that’s how it was for me. Good on you for being able to overcome it.

I realized after I posted this that a month is really not long enough to use the word “conquered” but this time is just different, like I’m just done.

Yes, it's a trance. It's a self soothing mechanism.
You can shut the world out and focus on that one hangnail. But trying to stop before you cause real damage is so hard.

But......once you become super aware of your picking, then you can address it and stop the behavior.
Easier said than done, I know!

 

[LilAlex]

This time is different, it’s like the switch got flipped and that obsessive need to pick just stopped

This is so awesome!

Related: Did you by any chance recently start a med like semaglutide (i.e., a glucagon-like peptide-1 [GLP-1] receptor agonist)?

 

[YadaYadaYada]

This is so awesome!

Related: Did you by any chance recently start a med like semaglutide (i.e., a glucagon-like peptide-1 [GLP-1] receptor agonist)?

Thanks! No, I don’t take any medication or supplements.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

This is so awesome!

Related: Did you by any chance recently start a med like semaglutide (i.e., a glucagon-like peptide-1 [GLP-1] receptor agonist)?

Sorry, a little OT:
I've been watching this- is it possible that maybe, just maybe, they've possibly cracked the addiction code? We know it works somewhat on intrusive thought, will it extend? It's exciting.

I have issue with intrusive thought patterns and anxiety, I've been debating whether asking if this might be something to try.

* I'm so proud of you @YadaYadaYada, I know how hard that is. Mine are internal obsessives and well, still a struggle much of the time, if I'm being honest.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@ItsMainelyYou, it’s definitely interesting that a particular medication might have an added benefit of treating OCD (I think I read that somewhere myself). Anything that can help is worth looking into IMO.

In my 20‘s I was treated with Risperdal and that stopped the skin picking but I didn’t want to be on medication for the rest of my life, of course it started back up once I stopped taking it.

Thanks for the encouragement and I hope you are able to calm your thoughts and anxiety in time.

 

[Begonia]

My youngest son bit his nails almost completely off starting at around 6. They're still missing (he's almost 21) altho we never see him do it. Any advice? I tried to talk to him years ago but he shut me down hard.

Anxiety and OCD run hard through our family...

 

[LilAlex]

Sorry, a little OT:
I've been watching this- is it possible that maybe, just maybe, they've possibly cracked the addiction code? We know it works somewhat on intrusive thought, will it extend? It's exciting.

I don't know all the data but it sounds like it has potential. Lots of meds were discovered serendipitously or were developed based on an unintended and advantageous side effect (e.g., tamsulosin for BPH and Viagra for ED). There are others that do what they are intended to do but maybe act via an unexpected mechanism (like some of the beneficial effects of SGLT2 inhibitors). Happy accidents didn't end with penicillin! Anyone who has ever worked in a lab knows this Isaac Asimov quote to be true: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka” but “That's funny...”

It will be important to see how it plays out -- I would not rush it. There was a very promising weight-loss medication that blocked one (?) of the endogenous cannabinoid receptors. (The reason that we respond to exogenous cannabinoids so well is because we come pre-wired to respond to endogenous cannabinoid molecules.) This blocker was effective in clinical trials (induced the "anti-munchies," if you will, with corresponding weight loss) but there was an "anhedonic" effect with a bit of a "suicide signal" in some of the trials. And nothing will shut down a promising drug pipeline faster than that.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Apparently skin picking is rather rare as disorders go, and it’s a good thing because it’s a pain in the butt to stop since you always have access to your fingers.

This started at a young age, I actually learned this behavior from my older brother, except he only picked at the skin on his thumbs. I picked every single one of my fingers as a child, I also bit my nails, nobody ever said anything, not my family, no doctors or teachers ever asked about them. There was only one person who ever asked me about it, a girl in high school, she thought I was self-harming and asked me if I needed help. Of course it is so embarrassing to have this problem and it is connected to OCD so it is very hard if not impossible to control. I spent a lot of time hiding my hands, even from my own kids because I didn’t want them to start. When I had an office job it was tough having to type with these fingers all torn up and to be honest, I’m amazed they never got infected.

Somewhere along the way I stopped picking my pinky and ring fingers, then I got to where it was just my thumbs but they have been my crutch for a long time. Stopped biting my nails about five years ago but was still picking the thumbs. The last couple of years have been challenging personally, a huge falling out with my SIL and this year the rest of DH’s family without discussion has cut us off. I won’t go in to the details on that, but this means our kids have been left out of holidays and birthdays with their cousins, it has been a tough time emotionally.

About a month ago I realized that I didn’t have the urge to pick at my fingers and they were looking better. Now in the past I have been able to stop for short periods (like my wedding) but it has been a struggle to not go at them. This time is different, it’s like the switch got flipped and that obsessive need to pick just stopped. It’s actually a really wonderful thing, I’m 44 so this has been a habit for 38 years roughly.

Just had to share this because it’s really a huge relief to stop having to hide my fingers in person and in pictures!

Would love to hear from anyone else who struggled with something similar and was able to overcome it!

well done

try not to worry about the extended family thing
SIL's can be tricky
although its sad for the kids
just do special thing with your own family
it will all come out in the wash

i stopped chewing my nails 5th form outdoor ed when we went tramping for a week with long drop toilets
at high school our PE teacher was an ex NZ cricket rep, he was the captain of our very succesful provical team at the time, he had the worst bitten nails i had ever seen, i guess from nerves sitting in the dressing room waiting to come out to bat

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I don't know all the data but it sounds like it has potential. Lots of meds were discovered serendipitously or were developed based on an unintended and advantageous side effect (e.g., tamsulosin for BPH and Viagra for ED). There are others that do what they are intended to do but maybe act via an unexpected mechanism (like some of the beneficial effects of SGLT2 inhibitors). Happy accidents didn't end with penicillin! Anyone who has ever worked in a lab knows this Isaac Asimov quote to be true: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka” but “That's funny...”

It will be important to see how it plays out -- I would not rush it. There was a very promising weight-loss medication that blocked one (?) of the endogenous cannabinoid receptors. (The reason that we respond to exogenous cannabinoids so well is because we come pre-wired to respond to endogenous cannabinoid molecules.) This blocker was effective in clinical trials (induced the "anti-munchies," if you will, with corresponding weight loss) but there was an "anhedonic" effect with a bit of a "suicide signal" in some of the trials. And nothing will shut down a promising drug pipeline faster than that.

I perch, read and wait until the kinks get worked out- it's part of my anxiety response

I've heard small smatterings of this with Semaglutide as well; though, I don't quite understand how this hormone mimic can produce said result. With the little we really understand about the gut/brain connection- I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. I'll be keeping an ear to the ground about it for a while yet. Cautiously optimistic.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Begonia our oldest son is 16 and he bites his nails much like your son. I tell him all the time not to bite his nails, it’s bad for his teeth etc but he’s still at it.

I’m inclined to say that until they’ve hand enough, they will just keep doing it. No doubt he learned it from me, our younger son just turned 9 and he doesn’t bite his nails. By the time he would have been old enough to notice me doing it, I had already stopped. He is also a less anxious kid than our older one.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Daisys and Diamonds, I had pretty much gotten over the SIL thing because she said some nasty things about me, so no love lost. We have learned to get on without the rest of them but it’s been hard for the kids, especially our younger one who doesn’t really understand what happened.

Good for you for kicking the nail biting habit, it’s so hard. My mom was a nail biter too so it definitely seems to run in families whether it’s a genetic trait or learned behavior.

 

[Ally T]

You are amazing. Overcoming any habit is hard, but one that has lasted this many years is just overwhelmingly fabulous!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Oh thanks @Ally T, I am so glad to not have this hanging over my head anymore. The ultimate test today, the water heater went in the middle of dinner. Normally the stress of this would send me into a picking panic but still no urge.

 

[Calliecake]

Congratulations @YadaYadaYada. This has to be a wonderful feeling for you!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Oh thanks @Ally T, I am so glad to not have this hanging over my head anymore. The ultimate test today, the water heater went in the middle of dinner. Normally the stress of this would send me into a picking panic but still no urge.

that is great
but still
boo hiss the water heater

 

[seaurchin]

As a side note, the only thing more painful than being estranged from a toxic family is NOT being estranged from a toxic family.

Sorry, couldn't resist!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

It is @Calliecake, thanks for the support!

@Daisys and Diamonds, no kidding, we just put new tires on the car (because they were so worn) and now we have to replace the water heater. Blah!

So true @seaurchin, I love that actually.

 

[ilovegemstones]

@YadaYadaYada ,
So glad you have overcome this! I have struggled with dermatillomania and trichotillomania (skin picking and hair pulling) for years in bouts. I have been taking the supplement NAC or N-acetyl cysteine twice a day, 1000mg at a time which has been helping me. There are studies on this drug and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours. One of my best friends is Christina Pearson who started BFRB.org back when it was called TLC. She also has a website If you google Christina Pearson and Skin picking. She offers mindfulness based 6 week classes specifically for these behaviours. Get in touch with her. Her book Pearls is also excellent. All these things helped me and I no longer have to wear a hairpiece. So glad you found recovery on your own! Amazing!!!!

 

[DAF]

Cuticle picker and reformed nail biter here. Also pick at the rosacea acne and dry skin on my face. It is an OCD/perfectionist issue with me.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@ilovegemstones, thank you, I will definitely check her out.

@DAF, I get dry flaky skin with my rosacea and yeah, it is a struggle not to just pick it off. I recently started using aloe (direct from the leaf) on my face and it seems to help somewhat.

 

[DAF]

@ilovegemstones, thank you, I will definitely check her out.

@DAF, I get dry flaky skin with my rosacea and yeah, it is a struggle not to just pick it off. I recently started using aloe (direct from the leaf) on my face and it seems to help somewhat.

I'm all for trying new things. My rosacea went from the flushing/redness stage to the acne-ish stage about five years ago. It's not even real acne, though, more like blisters with very little WBCs in the fluid. Each one stays swollen for several days. When it does go down, I'm left with a discolored patch of dead skin over it. It's hormonal driven, too. Sadly, at 55 I have more "acne" now than when I was in my teens and 20s.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I'm all for trying new things. My rosacea went from the flushing/redness stage to the acne-ish stage about five years ago. It's not even real acne, though, more like blisters with very little WBCs in the fluid. Each one stays swollen for several days. When it does go down, I'm left with a discolored patch of dead skin over it. It's hormonal driven, too. Sadly, at 55 I have more "acne" now than when I was in my teens and 20s.

I’m sorry you have to deal with that, rosacea is so frustrating and there are not a lot of answers out there for a definite way to deal with it.

 

[AprilBaby]

My father was a cuticle picker and so am I. It’s so embarrassing when your hands look like a meat grinder. Since I retired it’s been much less stress so I’m looking good! I find anxiety makes me fiddle with my hands.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@AprilBaby, I’m glad that you’ve found some relief in retirement. It’s hard too when you are a jewelry lover (especially rings) and have this problem.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

We were invited to go to DH’s cousins’s house for our youngest son’s birthday (it was in July but they were in FL). Normally we would see these family members at every holiday but there has been a falling out, so this is the first time we have been invited anywhere this year.

I am home for a couple of reasons. First I can’t fake that everything is great, it’s not, what they did (by cutting us out of family gatherings) is not how you handle conflict as an adult. Also and equally as important, I consider myself in a recovery state, who is to say that the stress of having to be fake and pretend in front of these people wouldn’t trigger a picking episode.

Gotta know when you need to put yourself first, it’s not selfish, it’s self-care.