Advice!

[monarch64]

Let this be a thread for Bridal advice!

 

[rosetta]

All wedding planning should stop at least 24 hours before the day of the wedding. If it's not done by then, it's too late to be in the wedding. This last day is for relaxation and reflection and no one is to hassle the bride. Trust me, you'll look better in your photos.

 

[vc10um]

The most helpful PS mantra for brides:

No one cares as much about your wedding as you do.

 

[missy]

It's your and your dh's day and don't let anyone strong arm you into making it something you don't want it to be.
Plan it the way you want and make it the day you envision and don't let anyone stress you out. It's your (and your SO's) day!
And most of all enjoy enjoy enjoy. It's all good as you are marrying the person of your dreams!

 

[Rose_Dust]

Make a wedding email address to sign up for things so that you don't get spam from your information being sold in your regular email. My friend learned this the hard way when David's Bridal sold her information.

 

[amc80]

Make a wedding email address to sign up for things so that you don't get spam from your information being sold in your regular email. My friend learned this the hard way when David's Bridal sold her information.

Funny- I thought of doing this yesterday when I won tickets to a bridal show. Just made the email account

 

[meresal]

When purhcasing your dress, DO NOT take the word of your salesperson re: measurements/changes/colors/etc, make sure absolutely every single detail is written on your invoice and signed by both you AND your salesperson.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Something will go away from your plan. You cannot predict what it will be. But, I promise that in planning something so large with so many factors, it's rare that everything will go exactly as you had hoped.

And that's okay.

You'll still be married to your honey. When guests look back they will remember a fun party, not tiny details. So, don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[MissMina]

On the wedding day something will be forgotten or go wrong

My Dad RIP who was my groom's transportation decided they should stop by the race track
FOR A FEW HOURS
No cell phones in those days

My five year old flower girl niece placed the rose petals one by one

There was no butter for the rolls

We married just the same

 

[Haven]

Be present and in the moment on your wedding day. Do not spend that day worrying about the details of your wedding, spend that day soaking up every single second of the ceremony and the reception. (This is the advice our rabbi gave to us right before the ceremony and it was the best advice ever, because our memories of that day are filled with the actual experience and feeling of it all, and not the details or mechanics of the wedding itself.)

If you go out of the country for two weeks right before your wedding, other people will just handle all of the last minute details. It was really quite nice.

Eat your wedding cake. Eat your meal. Sit with your new spouse and your friends and enjoy the delicious fare that you arranged for the event.

Try to take pictures with everyone, because even two years after the wedding you'll look back on the photos of yourself with loved ones who have passed away and you'll be grateful for the pictures.

Don't have your gown hermetically sealed in some overpriced box. Keep it (and your veil) accessible so you can grab them and run around the house in them when your husband is out of town. It feels especially indulgent to eat popcorn and watch your favorite chick flicks in your wedding gown and veil.

It's worth the splurge for whatever it is that will make you feel especially beautiful. For me, it was hair extensions and a killer gown.

Look at your husband and take a mental snapshot of the way he looks at you during the ceremony. I often go back to that moment in my head, and I still get shivers down my spine thinking of the way DH looked at me.

Have someone videotape the wedding. You'll watch it later. At least, I know I watch mine.

Set up an extra table for the kids with personalized activity buckets. It will keep them busy, and if you put cute wearables like headbands with bobbing stars or funny hats in there, it will make for great photos.

Take a moment during the reception when people are dancing or eating to sit with your husband and look around the room. Let it soak in that you are surrounded with most of the people who love you in the world. Relish in that feeling, and share it with your husband.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

The most helpful PS mantra for brides:

No one cares as much about your wedding as you do.

This.

Also, all the wedding magazines, websites ect are in the business of advertising. So their focus is usually on all the stuff. The dress, the flowers, the drinks the food. Their goal is to get you to feel like you need these things for your wedding to be special. Remember that this is about the 2 of you and the first day of your union. Don't let all the "stuff" overshadow what the wedding is really about.

 

[bee*]

Enjoy the lead up to the wedding and the day of. It really is one of the most amazing days and it's over all too quickly!

 

[Diamondhalo]

Any advice on shoes?

 

[missy]

Any advice on shoes?

Wear the most comfortable shoes you can so you can enjoy every minute of the day.

I danced most of the evening and my feet were feeling no pain as I had chosen the most comfortable wedding shoes I could.
I have friends who wore super high heels that were not kind to their feet on their wedding day and their feet had blisters and they were uncomfortable by the middle of the celebration. So form and function are important regarding shoes and I would definitely put function ahead of form in this case.

One thing you can do to facilitate wearing comfie shoes is to make sure to wear them around the house enough before your wedding day to make sure they make the cut.

 

[yssie]

Any advice on shoes?

Wear the most comfortable shoes you can so you can enjoy every minute of the day.

I danced most of the evening and my feet were feeling no pain as I had chosen the most comfortable wedding shoes I could.
I have friends who wore super high heels that were not kind to their feet on their wedding day and their feet had blisters and they were uncomfortable by the middle of the celebration. So form and function are important regarding shoes and I would definitely put function ahead of form in this case.

One thing you can do to facilitate wearing comfie shoes is to make sure to wear them around the house enough before your wedding day to make sure they make the cut.

This!

I wore ballroom shoes. Inexpensive (relative to what most places wanted me to pay for white/bridal shoes, anyway!) and super-comfortable, which I was very thankful for after a day on my feet

 

[Diamondhalo]

What great advice! Thanks ladies...this thread is priceless

 

[stephbolt]

Pick your battles. There are going to be things that you and your fiance disagree on, and even more, things that you and your families disagree on. Stand your ground on the things that are priorities to you and let a few other things slide.

 

[missy]

I have to say as I read through this thread it occurs to me that this advice is not just helpful for people who are getting married but it is good solid advice for life in general.

 

[TooPatient]

On the wedding day something will be forgotten or go wrong

My Dad RIP who was my groom's transportation decided they should stop by the race track
FOR A FEW HOURSNo cell phones in those days

My five year old flower girl niece placed the rose petals one by one

There was no butter for the rolls

We married just the same

Gotta love cell phones....

 

[lulu66]

Pick your battles. There are going to be things that you and your fiance disagree on, and even more, things that you and your families disagree on. Stand your ground on the things that are priorities to you and let a few other things slide.

great advice. i really disagree w/the "it's your & your fiance's day, screw everyone else, period" because if you are having a wedding (with invited guests) it is because you want to share this day with people you love & who love the both of you. why not throw them a bone or two? while they do not care about the wedding as much as you, they *do care* about the wedding & the detail they are showing interest in. if it's something that compromises your values, it's worth a discussion/hashing it out/standing your ground, but if not, give in (even if just a little bit).

and also, let go. as someone above me said, 24 hours before the wedding, i washed my hands of the details. i didn't have a planner or a DOC (just a friend who volunteered to function as a DOC); but the night before i turned to her and said "i don't care, i'm done w/it now. i'll be married tomorrow & surrounded by loved ones, that's all that matters." and it was so true.



and FINALLY: prioritize your marriage during the engagement process. focus on forming a team, discuss your future, discuss your past, your families, how you formed into the human you are, what's important to you, what's not important to you, how you spend money, how you save money, what your "family" will look like, how you will face confrontation with each other & from the outside world. this will keep you a bit saner & lay the foundation for a life that you two can conquer together forever, whatever comes your way.

 

[zoebartlett]

My advice comes by way of a story:

We loved our wedding, but as so many couples realize after the fact, there wasn't enough time to hang out and chat with everyone during the reception. Our wedding was a semi-destination wedding since most people (including us) had to travel 1.5 hrs+ to get to the venue and the hotel. I also had extended family travel from all over the country to celebrate with us. Some of our very favorite memories of that weekend were spent hanging out with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and their families on the days leading up to and the day after our wedding. It meant so much to have them there, and we were so happy to have spent that time together since we don't get to see them often.

So -- all that to say that if you can make time to spend some quality time with guests who have come from far away, do it.

 

[zoebartlett]

I don't know if this one's been mentioned yet, but here's another one:

Accept the fact that there may be more people in attendance than you might ultimately like. Random guests, that type of thing. It's not right that guests bring random people and/or ask to include others at the last minute, but it does happen. You can pitch a fit before hand (I did), but I can almost promise that on your wedding day, that won't be on your mind. Just smile, thank them for coming, and let it go.


Oh, and another one! If you have friends or relatives who are bringing babies, it's really helpful to find a room or at least some place quiet that they can escape to if they need to feed the baby. I know one of my friends and one of my cousins appreciated being able to escape the noise of the reception and spend some quiet time in the suite where I had gotten ready. They got to feed their babies and not worry about anyone else intruding.

 

[zoebartlett]

Okay, one more and then I'm done.

Get your thank you cards done as soon as possible. Then they won't be looming over your head for months. Try to get your husband to help write them, but accept the fact that you might be the one doing them.

 

[mrscushion]

Any advice on shoes?

Wear the most comfortable shoes you can so you can enjoy every minute of the day.
I danced most of the evening and my feet were feeling no pain as I had chosen the most comfortable wedding shoes I could.
I have friends who wore super high heels that were not kind to their feet on their wedding day and their feet had blisters and they were uncomfortable by the middle of the celebration. So form and function are important regarding shoes and I would definitely put function ahead of form in this case.
One thing you can do to facilitate wearing comfie shoes is to make sure to wear them around the house enough before your wedding day to make sure they make the cut.

This!
I wore ballroom shoes. Inexpensive (relative to what most places wanted me to pay for white/bridal shoes, anyway!) and super-comfortable, which I was very thankful for after a day on my feet

I switched my shoes during the reception. Nobody could see my shoes under the dress anyway. I had high heels of the same height that are super comfortable.

 

[megumic]

You are not the host - you are the guests of honor.