Advice on Engagement. Ring/Proposal

[ringybingy]

Hello Forum Members of Pricescope,

I''ve been with my girlfriend for years and although we are in no rush to get married, i''d like to just go ahead and do it. There is never going to be anymore of a right time than right now so...I need help.

First,

I know nothing.

Second,

I know nothing.

----

I''m not the kind of guy who is going to be capable of waltzing in some fancy jewelry store looking like a bozo browsing around for rings I can''t afford. So I was hoping to do most of my research online. I''m also not sure if it even matters that I have the ring first. I suppose it does but I don''t know. I''m thinking all the rings she would want are $50,000. I can''t really afford more than $1500 right now. Can I even get a good ring for that amount? On another post I started I was looking into a ring I know she likes, but I can''t find it anywhere. I''m totally lost right now and don''t know how to proceed or even finish this post.

Suggestions? Advice?

 

[Gale]

Well ringybingy, I read your other post about the ring your girl likes, but don't really go to grocery stores very much (farmer's market shopper). So, checking out magazines is not an option for me.

You sounded a little frustrated or a bit down about your situation in your post, so, I hope this helps a little bit...

It is very possible to find a beautiful ring for $1500. With that budget, you may be limited with respect to the setting. Have you checked any of the diamond vendors listed on PS for possibilities for a centre stone? If you ratchet your expectations down to a simple solitaire setting, more of your budget could go towards the diamond, which is the best part IMO.

If you do want to spend more than a couple of hundred dollars on a setting, perhaps you could describe the setting, shape of the stone you want, or find a picture similar to what she would like and post that. With some sort of starting point, I am confident someone here will be able to point you in the right direction.

 

[aljdewey]

I'm thinking all the rings she would want are $50,000. I can't really afford more than $1500 right now. Can I even get a good ring for that amount?

Ringy....I think you're barking up the wrong tree in terms of her wanting a $50K ring.

If she's like most other women I know, all she wants is a ring that promises marriage to you. It's fun for women to drool over nice jewelry, but it doesn't mean we have to have the honking ring. More than anything, we just want the promise of marriage.

Yes, you can get a nice ring for $1500. Get a nice .50 or so stone, and put it in a simple solitaire setting (about $80-90).

Later on, when the financial outlook improves, you can let her pick the setting of her dreams for one of your anniversaries.

Here's a few diamond possibilities:

http://www.whiteflash.com/round_ideal_cut/Round-Ideal-Cut-cut-diamond-798826.htm#

http://www.whiteflash.com/round_ideal_cut/Round-Ideal-Cut-cut-diamond-548842.htm#

Good luck!

 

[ringybingy]

Ok, this is a really bad picture but it's the best I could do. In any case, this isn't really a diamond, it's some purple stone. Do engagement rings always have to be diamond? If so, anyone know of a diamond ring similar in style to this one?

 

[Gale]

Thanks for the picture. No - engagement rings do not have to be all diamonds. There are several examples on this forum where the centre stone is a sapphire or something else. Having said that, from reading other posts, it is important to choose a centre stone that is very hard (something about a MOHs scale indicating hardness). The centre stone should be on the hard side as many women wear their engagement rings every day, and the wear and tear on something that is softer is a consideration. I think sapphires are up there on the MOH's scale, and things like emerald and tanzanite are lower, though I could be wrong about that.

Are those trillions (triangle shaped) stones on the side of that ring? From casually looking around at settings with side stones, they seem to be out of range for your budget. Whiteflash has one in platinum for $975. Perhaps they could make it in gold for you, but you would have to ask. It does not look like the one in your pic, but it is a 3 stone. WF may have a minimum requireed size for the centre stone to put into the ring as well, so you would also have to ask about that. A look at superbcert showed 3 stone rings, without the centre stone, as starting from about $1400 (more or less, I cannot remember). The centre stone there looks like it should be about 1/2 carat.

But don't loose heart just yet. Call a vendor and ask if they can supply you with a stock 3 stone setting in gold, and a centre stone that fits your budget. I was looking at winkjones.com and saw a nice looking stone for $773. It was close to the 1/2 c mark (.46, F, SI2) - call Wink and talk to him about it - it might be a very nice stone. Also there were others just above the $1200 mark that might fit the bill, if you can expand your budget by a little bit. The url with those diamonds is:

http://www.winkjones.com/xcart/customer/home.php?cat=249

By the way, I do agree completely with aljdewey's post.

 

[ringybingy]

Ok, now i'm really overwhelmed. I guess for sake of narrowing the search down, I think i'll stick with diamonds and not purple stones and stuff. It's an engagement ring and i'd like to keep it simple and traditional. Thanks for that whiteflash info. I went to their web site and saw a lot of rings I could possibly consider. I'm wondering if you reccomend other places like the white flash site I can browse through just to get a better idea of what i'm looking for. And just for help asking around for what I want, i'm looking for White Gold correct? and X Prong or something? And what's up with all the 1/2 c mark (.46, F, SI2) stuff? I know she would rather a simple ring with a bigger stone than 3 puny stones. And what were you saying earlier how if I get a simple ring and one stone now, that you can get it set different later on or something? Perhaps that is something for me to consider? Is that done a lot? Also, what's the difference between white gold and platinum?

 

[abradabra]

You said: I know she would rather a simple ring with a bigger stone than 3 puny stones.

One thing you might want to consider is that sometimes "three puny stones" can look much more substantial than one larger stone. A friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend with a ring that contained three half carat diamonds in a row that ran him pretty much the same or a bit less as a one carat diamond. Not only was there a lot more carat weight, it looked way more substantial than a solitare.

A half-carat diamond is what, 5mm in diameter? So, three half carat diamonds would be 15mm by 5mm when set in a row, rather than 6.5mm by 6.5mm. That being said, this isn't a traditional look for an engagement ring.

You could follow aljdewey's advice and get her a half carat stone in a simple setting now. In a few years when you can afford something more substantial, you can either add to it or turn it into an anniversary ring and get a brand new (bigger) engagement ring.

 

[Gale]

I am sorry if you feel overwhelmed with information and options. Please keep in mind that those posting here only wish to help in some way or another. There are loads of options available to you at your pricepoint, and the picture you posted WAS a 3 stone ring. It's up to you to define the parameters you are looking for, and any message I posted to you was only in the interest of providing an option for you based on the information you provided. Really, no offense was intended at all, and I certainly would not want to confuse you. For your budget, it is my opinion only, the best bet IS to find the best stone you can and set it into a simple gold band of any colour. You did not express an interest in either white gold, yellow gold or platinum. You did not specify any specs for the stone. Anything offerd was only a suggestion, and was truly intended to help you, not confuse you. Please forgive any lapses in judgement on my part - just trying to help you out, that's all.

 

[ringybingy]

Thanks. This has all been EXTREMELY helpful and I will be in touch shortly after I have a better idea what i'm looking for.

 

[Aurora Borealis]

Like aljdewey said, if she's like most women, she'll be thrilled that you're ready to commit on the next level, so no, it doesn't matter if you have the ring first. It certainly won't matter that it isn't a $50,000 ring. If you propose without, you can search together for a suitable ring that will fall under your budget. That being said, you can definitely propose with a beautiful $1500 ring.
Even though you said you don't want to browse at the store, it might be a good idea to window shop before purchasing online. I personally find that rings shown online look really out of proportion (ie, center stones look way bigger than they are). And you can compare what a single stone looks like against a three stone ring. I agree with abradabra about three stone rings having more substance. I would much rather receive three small diamonds than one diamond that's just a tiny bit bigger than any one of them. I had a promise ring that only had a quarter carat center stone with tiny side stones. No one ever remarked that the stone was small, but I got lots of compliments on the style. And it was sooo much more sparkly because of the extra stones. With the extra sparkle it was also harder to notice that the center was small.
Platinum is a precious metal, and white gold is usually yellow gold mixed with a variety of other metals to give it its white lustre. Both have its pros and cons (run a search and you'll get lots of other threads comparing them). However, platinum is 2-3x more expensive than white gold, so stick with white gold for now! You can always upgrade the setting and/or the stone, and yes, it is a common practice. It just means that when you have more money you can decide to take out the stones and replace them with diamonds or put them in a new platinum band. I'm in college, and when me and my boyfriend decided to get married, we started with my smaller promise ring and have upgraded it a couple of times when we had the means to do so; perfectly normal!
That .46, F, VS stuff is how a diamond's quality is graded. Go to any jeweller's website and they should have a page on how to buy a diamond, and it'll explain what all that Greek means.
I looked through my InStyle for your ring. I think the center stone is a tanzanite with diamond sidestones. I have no experience with colored gems so someone please correct me if I'm wrong (I've attached a pic that's slightly clearer than ringy's). On bidz.com, I found many similar rings that feature different colored center stones that are 4 carats+, and they all fit your budget ($1490). The article in InStyle says that they have gemologists who certify the stones, and offer full refunds if you aren't satisfied.
Sorry for the long post, hope it helps a little bit.

 

[ringybingy]

Thanks a lot for providing a much clearer picture of that ring. Could you post some links to the rings on bidz.com that you found? I was unable to find any similar to that one. Thanks.

 

[Aurora Borealis]

Bidz.com is an online auction, so rings will be continuously added and removed. I wasn't able to find rings that are exactly the same, but very close (white gold, three stones, HUGE colored center stone), and you should probably check regularly. Any links I give you probably won't exist by the time you see them. That being said, if you end up deciding to go with a simple solitaire diamond I'd stay away from these sites as there are better deals to be had on Whiteflash, etc.

 

[ringybingy]

hi, after doing a lot of research about what ring to get i've kind of gone full circle back to getting a ring together. i'm wondering if people have ideas of casual memorable ways to propose without a ring. i don't want to do anything too over the top but i don't want to just bring it up while i'm ordering a pizza with her. ideas? thoughts? i'd get the ring first but it's too complicated, i can't make a decision. all the rings look really nice and i just want to make sure she likes it. what better way than to shop for it together!!!

 

[JimDiamond]

Don't get discouraged. You need to take time to learn more about diamonds. Don't worry it's amazing how fast you can learn the basics. You can click around here on pricescope and you'll find at least a dozen good vendors. You can check out their stock and prices. Just be sure to go to the diamond education part of one or more of their sites or click on the knowledge link here at pricescope.

As everyone has said $1,500 is enough to buy a nice ring. It may not be as grand as some of those you see, but it is enough. I would definitely avoid platinum in your case. It costs so much more it's not worth it for you to consider. White or yellow gold depending on your and her preference is excellent. As the others have said you have two choices, buy a larger center stone and put it in a solitaire (classic) or look for a three stone ring you like. I would add that you could probably find a setting with very tiny channel set accent stones. You can buy more diamond weight in a three stone ring and as others have advised you and it will provide the largest total diamond surface for your buck. The trick is you have to figure out which type of setting she would like best? Can you get any hints from the jewelry she owns? Has she ever pointed out styles she likes? Is there anyway you can ask her or arrange to get her to look in a bridal magazine and take note of the styles she seems to like? Can you enlist the help of a friend of hers or her mother? (One who can be trusted to keep a secret).

You are in the right place though. You can look at rings locally if you want, but at the very least they have to charge you $60-$120 or more in tax which eats into your budget. You can find a big selection of excellent merchandise for very competitive prices.

I went to BlueNile.com (huge selection, highly reputable, probably a little pricier than other sites). I found a .52 carat, J-color, SI1 clarity, good cut, GIA cert., diamond for $871 (a J-color diamond should probably be set in yellow gold. G color was available in an SI2 clarity). I found a nice gold setting (white or yellow) with 1/4 total carat weight channel set accent stones for $500. That makes a great ring for only $1,371 total cost.

 

[ringybingy]

ok, i just didn't realize how much work it would be to figure all this out. i'll keep doing research...

 

[ringybingy]

I'm kind of interested in this ring...

http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/3Stone/3-Stone-Truffle-by-Vatche_736.htm

But I can't afford it. There are cheaper rings similar to that on Whiteflash but I don't like them nearly as much. I like everything about this ring. Does anyone think it would be possible to get this ring for less?

 

[ringybingy]

I actually like a lot of the 3 Stone rings by http://www.dvatche.com in general. Is vatche good quality ring?

 

[ringybingy]

do they make rings like the 3 stone truffle one i like, but with solitaire setting instead? i like the weight on that specific ring, of the band....and the prong thing...ok, i need to take a break.

 

[Diamondsbybree]

DVatche has beautiful mountings. And very substantial.
I DON'T recommend BIDZ.com. There diamonds are mostly low clarity and colored diamonds. I1-I2 with huge visible inclusions.

Don't stress, you will in time find the perfect ring for your swee

theart.

 

[Bride2BeVintage]

First, Congrats.

Second, Have you considered "used" (ney, vintage) rings? My fiance and I are looking for a 1940s ring, and I've seen a few in the price range you mentioned. They are classic in design, and require investigation to get "THE" one (we've been looking for quite a while), but if she's a romantic like me, she'll appreciate the one-of-a-kind element of a vintage ring.

Just a thought. Best of luck to you!

 

[JimDiamond]

Okay, have you researched DIAMONDS yet? Or at least tell us how much money you want to go toward the diamond part versus the setting part and we can make some recommendations of what you should look for (although this discussion may be better in the RockyTalky forum). The other way would be to pick some setting ideas and then we can see how much money is left for a diamond. If your budget is $1,500 I would think you may want to keep the setting under $500, but there is an infinite array of options.

 

[ringybingy]

i don''t know. all i know is that i''m interested in the dvatche Plat 3 Stone Solitary Truffle Ring. Platinum might be too expensive for me so probably white gold but i dig that truffle ring part and the 3 stones....

 

[JimDiamond]

So I assume that you've seen this one online? Have you seen it anywhere other than the Vatche site? Do you know about how much it is? I think you're definitely right that you'll be better off with white gold. If your budget is the same as you mentioned earlier ($1,500) your money is better spent on the diamond than on platinum that no one would be able to tell apart when they looked at it anyway.

I found this link in the Rocky Talky forum. http://www.niceice.com/jewelry/vatche/index.htm Someone asked about Vatche truffle prices. Nice Ice has a page of styles and prices. I found the page a bit confusing, but those settings were all platinum. They were at least $1,000 (with no side stones I think). That wouldn't be practical for what you're doing. Have you looked at non-designer settings? There's a wide variety, many are lovely, they are cheaper and almost always available in all three metals/colors.

Whiteflash's white gold Vatche three stone rings were over $2,500. I'd recommend a non-designer ring, a solitaire or a new budget.

 

[yanekie25]

Just so you know, any jeweler can probably replicate the setting. It seems fairly straight forward. I actually saw it with radiants and it was gorgeous at a local wholesaler. That should save you money in terms of the cost. Also, maybe use gemstones instead of diamonds for the sidestones to cut down costs. I personally think if you are going with smaller center stone, then a solitare is best. With 3 stones, you need to find the right symmetry of the sides to the center, which if you have a smaller center is hard to do. IMO

Also, what kind of jewelry does she wear. She may like and wear alot of yellow gold, so that easily eliminates the added expense of platinum.