Adult Only Receptions

[Class n Sass]

So my fiance and I have compiled a guest list of about 200 people excluding children. We really don''t want to go above this number because of cost issues. Now here is the issue....my family is larger than my fiance''s family and for that reason he feels like he should be able to invite the children from his family. I know that will cause problems with my family. I have many people that will be coming in from out of town with children. If they get to the reception that they were told was ADULT ONLY and see children present they will be upset. If they''re making the trip from far away and I tell them they can''t bring their kids yet they get there and see all the children from my fiance''s family present it will become a problem. What are your suggestions???

 

[labbielove]

Same issue as guest list- even post below. FI and I had a similar thing,
it comes down to- are you going to have children at your wedding? if so, what are the criteria-

The only fair thing is to exclude all children.
If he wants immediate family (nephews/nieces, then you should as well, regardless of the #s)

Just because you happen to have a larger family, you/your family shouldn''t be penalized.

Maybe cut it off at immediate family children, but no cousins'' children etc.

 

[firebirdgold]

Yeah, it''s either no children or everyone''s children. A possible exeception could be direct sibling''s children espc if they were in the wedding party. But I''d be pretty upset if I was told no kids and there were all these kids running about.

 

[FireGoddess]

No, I don''t think it''s proper to invite children on his side because his guest list is smaller. If children are excluded, they should all be excluded.

 

[Class n Sass]

My fiance has 7 children that he wants there. 3 nieces, 1 nephew, 3 cousins

I have 10 children. Now none of my children are nieces or nephews because I am an only child so mine are all cousins. But they are cousins that I am close to and they are like nieces/ nephews to me.

Two of his nieces are more than likely going to be in the bridal party. One will be a flower girl and one will be a junior bridesmaid. His newphew will probably be the ring bearer. So I''m trying to incorporate the children in his family into the wedding party. There are no young children from my family in the wedding party.

 

[tanyak]

It''s tough, especially with out of town guests. My invites said adult-only reception, but I had four children at my reception, all of whom had traveled great distances (one across the country), with their parents. Plus, these children were all close relatives. I don''t think all children hold the same rank - sorry, but by new niece-in-law ranks higher than a co-worker''s kid that I''ve only met once.

That said, what your FH is proposing isn''t really fair, especially since you have so many people coming from out of town who will have to find child care on your side. I''m not sure what the solution is.

 

[MustangFan]

What happens if your guests are on the other side of the country and have two small children?
I''ve always wondered what we are going to do with that, they can''t get a babysister

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 2/22/2007 2:35:37 PM
Author: MustangFan
What happens if your guests are on the other side of the country and have two small children?
I''ve always wondered what we are going to do with that, they can''t get a babysister

You could hire a babysitter for them. My nephew was 6 months old when I got married, my sister, BIL and the baby traveled 600 miles to be here and I found them a babysitter and offered my home as a place for him to be watched. I didn''t care if he came to the reception or not (no other children were invited) but wanted them to have a good time and not have to go home early. If you aren''t comfortable offering your home you could rent another room at the reception site for the children to hang out in and have the babysitter come there. There are also babysitting services in most cities and hotels/venues can help provide information about which are trustworthy.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/22/2007 2:35:37 PM
Author: MustangFan
What happens if your guests are on the other side of the country and have two small children?
I''ve always wondered what we are going to do with that, they can''t get a babysister

That''s what grandparents are for... hehe.

Seriously though... hire someone to watch the kids at the hotel... or let them come.

 

[Scooba]

you absolutely cannot only invite children form one side of the family and there is no reason your sides have to have equal numbers of guests, my FI and I never even considered this and I have no idea if one of our "sides" has more than the other, we are all on one side now anyway!

anyway, I agree with the pp and would recommend hiring a babysitter to care for the children if you they will be coming from OOT with their parents