Accommodating Specific Dietary Requirements and/or Preferences...

[cushionladyESQ]

Hey ladies!

I''m just curious...I''ve noticed from personal experience that many people don''t include specific vegetarian or vegan options (or at least not listed on RSVP cards) for their guests at the reception. I''m sure most of the time this isn''t a big deal because of knowledge of guests’ preferences or the regional area/customs. That being said, I have many friends with specific preferences that I would like to respect. I am planning on having a good vegetarian option as one of the main choices, but I would like to hear some real-life experiences about dealing with these kinds of concerns while maintaining the integrity of the wedding as one’s own.

I am just wondering how you handled, or might handle, it if you had guests with specific preferences or had specific requirements (like perhaps a gluten or nut allergy)? Do you find that guests usually just write something in on the RSVP card if the options are "Chicken or Fish" and they eat neither? Is this the appropriate action on the part of the guest? What is the appropriate response on the part of the hosts?

I''m curious about some real experiences out there, so if you have experienced anything along these lines I’d like to hear it.

Thanks!

 

[sba771]

Well I grew up kosher and for me that meant I would eat vegetarian outside the house. When the server came to me I would always just whisper it and they brought me something else. (This was a long time ago at bar/bat mitzvah age and before people were more accommodating to vegetarians.)

In the case of my wedding we are having a kosher wedding with a vegetarian option, but not having people select their meals on the RSVP so when the server comes around, they can just ask for that. I don''t think we have anyone coming with any major food allergies that I know of, but if we did I would make sure they had an option and I would just tell them to mention it to the server.

I try to accommodate people because I knew what is what like, but I also realize I can''t please everyone and from my own experience I was always able to find something to eat, even if it was just salad and for one night I could handle it, so I would say try your best with what you know about who needs what, but don''t get worked up if you can''t make everyone happy.

 

[mayachel]

If you don''t know a rough estimate of alternative meals needed, I''d include a line of allergies_______ this day and age.

As a vegetarian, I have seen a HUGE change over the last 10 years in how places handle this. (for the better) Usually, it is best if you can tell your caterer ahead of time. This avoids the unfortunate plate of boiled vegetables for an entree. (Can not tell you how off-putting this is) Other than that, shellfish is a big allergy. Probably doesn''t mean you need to leave it off your menu, just make sure guests know before biting into their first course.

My caterer does not include kosher/vegetarian/gluten free options as one of our "two" official options. We just need to let them know close to exact numbers for the specialty plates. (no extra cost).

 

[MakingTheGrade]

We had a family-style banquet, so I just had to make sure to get a list of any allergies (I asked for them as part of the RSVP), and made sure that we had at least a few vegetarian and vegan courses.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

we had 2 meat courses and 1 vegetarian. Also we accomodated anyone who was gluten free by having some extra meals on the side for them

 

[meresal]

I had over 250 guests, but we also had a buffet, so it wasn't a huge worry... I did not worry about the people that might be vegan. If there were any, I did not know them... we had salad and vegetables on the buffet.

We did know one person with a nut allergy, and assumed there were others, so nothing had nuts in it, anywhere.

I am in the south, so you are pretty hard pressed to find a vegan around... but if I were one, I would expect to eat a meal to my liking before arriving, and then much on snacks while at the wedding. I wouldn't expect any bride to accomodate just me, because of my own preference.

If an RSVP card said fish or chicken, I would just check one and then plan on not eating it, I think.

 

[sunnyd]

Our caterer told us at the tasting to just let them know if anyone was vegetarian, etc and they would make a meal seperate from the buffet.

 

[neatfreak]

Personally I would add a line on the RSVP cards that says "Vegetarian or other dietary requirements" or something like that. People should let you know. If they don''t you can''t worry about it. But I do think it''s polite to add a vegetarian entree to your RSVP cards.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

Thanks for the replies, ladies. It seems like it is easier these days. Very nice to know. I don''t expect it to be super difficult since I am from southern California and will likely be getting married somewhere in either northern or southern California since I live in northern California now.

Thanks for giving your perspective Meresal, coming from the south where I imagine it would be difficult to be vegan.

I think I forgot to mention that I am also vegetarian...so it matters to me personally. But I''m in Barcelona right now--and have been for the past four months--and it is pretty difficult to find much to eat at all for me. But I understand that it is just a regional difference, and I can appreciate that.


Also, thanks for letting me know that you guys think it would be good or appropriate to add a line on the RSVP card for dietary requests.

 

[anchor31]

Our hall had a vegetarian option, so we added a vegetarian line to check on the RSVP card if people preferred. I think we had 3 out of 50. I also included an allergy line, but nothing popped up that I didn''t already know about (1 person allergic to hazelnuts). I recommend doing this just in case!

 

[purselover]

Our guests will choose their selection that day but we do have a vegetarian dish as one of our 4 options,(a very yummy eggplant parm!) and I do have a vegan friend and our venue said he can request whatever he feels like and just order it through the server. If I wasn''t sure about allergies or particular diets and the venue needed to know in advance I would probably ask around to be safe.

 

[shertz1981]

Our guests will choose their selection on the day of (we have beef, chicken, vegetarian).

I know of at least one person with a lot of dietary restrictions (she has Celiac and a dairy allergy, I think), and we''ll have a special meal made for her.

 

[Inanna]

We included a dietary restriction/allergy line on our RSVPs. We had planned for enough assortment to accommodate vegetarians, but we were somewhat concerned that some of the appetizers/entrees we wanted had nuts and other ingredients that people are commonly allergic to. We ended up having a guest with an egg allergy, so I was very glad I included that line, especially since it allowed us to plan for an egg-free dessert option.

 

[elrohwen]

We had a gluten allergy (that we knew about in advance) and a vegetarian (which we didn't know about).

Gluten really isn't that hard - most basic wedding foods are a meat, some veggies, and a potato. Not really gluten heavy. We did make sure to ask, just in case, but your gluten allergy friend should be able to at least eat the main course without a problem.

The vegetarian was the girlfriend of a friend. We didn't actually have a vegetarian option, but he called us up and asked if we could provide one for his gf (he also wrote it on the rsvp card). We asked our venue and they said they could do a delicious stuffed mushroom pasta just for this girl. Problem solved! The pasta sounded so good that I wished I had a portion for myself

ETA: I almost forgot that our BM had a peanut and shellfish allergy (what is it with DH's friends all having special requests? lol) Anyway, we weren't serving shellfish as a main course (even if we were, we would've had more than one option) and none of the entrees included peanuts. Kind of like the gluten allergy, most entrees were perfectly fine, those who were allergic just had to pick and choose which appetizers they would eat (or not eat any). And as far as I can remember, none of the appetizers had nuts in them either.

 

[Munchkin]

Our wedding didn't offer options on the response card. At the reception a duet plate of lobster and filet was served. Each table had a menu for the evening and the bottom line requested that guests please notify their server if they required a vegetarian option. We had decided ahead of time what that entree would be. Guests could also request two filet or two tails if they didn't eat the other, for whatever reason.

About 6 months after our wedding I was (finally!) diagnosed with a bunch of food allergies. All the weddings I've attended since have been for close friends or family and they asked me to write my allergies on my response card. Now that I am more conscious of food allergies in general, I would probably add a line to a response card if I were to throw another formal party. I would probably have something like "Kindly use the reverse of this card to notify us of any dietary concerns."

ETA: I REALLY don't like to draw attention to my allergies. I feel uncomfortable when others make a big deal about it. I know what I can and can't eat. I usually eat before going to a party in case I can't eat the snacks and I always keep snacks I can eat in my purse. If I weren't close to a couple, I don't know that I would write my allergies on the response card without being asked. I would feel like I was being demanding. I would probably just eat before and hope that I could at least eat the protein. I know it's silly and that I'm only limiting myself by not speaking up - but I feel like the bride and the groom have more to worry about than my allergies on their wedding day.

 

[caribqueen]

As far as I know, my side of the guestlist won''t have many food issues other than a few who are vegetarians (and that may be partly due to our cultural background). The same may not be true of FI''s family. One thing we will do just in case is eliminate pinenuts from the salad. We will have three choices on the RSVP for chicken, salmon and vegetarian.

I''ve seen the food sheet that I have to fill out for our reception hall/caterers and it asks for notes on any allergies, food issues, etc. near the names so that the servers will already know who at which tables has certain food issues. It''s my opinion that it''s the guests'' responsibility to alert us to those issues and we have a place to make a note on the food sheets that we then turn in.

 

[katamari]

We offered a vegetarian and a vegan meal. We gave our DOC a list of where they were sitting and she had servers take vegans and vegetarians plated meals when they went to dismiss the other guests to a carnivorous buffet. Most places suggest sides as "vegetarian options" which I thought was way lame and. Also, from having worked in many, many restaurants, few servers/managers/etc. are fully knowledgeable about their ingredients to be able to know things are vegetarian or vegan. For instance, I worked at a popular Italian chain who used chicken stock in all their sauces but would tell people spaghetti and red sauce was vegan or alfredo was vegetarian. This is quite common with pasta sauces and pasta is very often the vegetarian option at halls.

Have you considered having a vegetarian menu? I have been to several weddings that were completely vegetarian and they often have better food (of course, this could also be due to higher cost/better ingredients).

 

[lliang_chi]

Most places it''d be pretty easy to have a vegetarian meal. But for allergies etc, I''d post your menu somewhere so people can read a description of all the courses and decide for themselves. My sister is allergic to bleu cheese and at a few weddings had to pass on the salad course. Some venues are really nice and bring her one without, but otherwise she''d just pass on salad. As the bride, I took in mind the food preferences and allergies of the people important to me. E.g. Husband, sister, parents, family etc. I made sure there was something on the menu that all those people could eat. Then finally, from experience, I noticed that people that had an allergy would either ask me, my husband, parents, someone if there was a food choice they''d suggest for the entree.

Hope this helps.

 

[Haven]

We found that people with specific dietary needs let us know one way or another before the wedding. We did not include meal options on our response cards, by the way.

I was raised ovo-lacto vegetarian (although once I moved out of my parents'' home I stopped being a vegetarian,) and I have to say that I think caterers expect for there to be several vegetarians in the crowd nowadays. When I was younger it was always an issue, but now my vegetarian family members rarely have issues anymore. The kitchen always has a good alternative available, it seems. (However, my "real" vegetarian family members don''t eat much out anyway because you never know if they use the same utensils to prepare the meat and vegetarian dishes.)

I imagine that you could either add a line to your response card, or just assume that people with serious needs will let them be known.