A wedding without a cocktail hour? How would that work?

[treysar]

Fi decided that he doesn''t want a cocktail hour. Our ceremony is on the beach, and our reception is in the same place. We are doing our photos before the ceremony, so he feels that there''s no point to a cocktail hour.

I’m afraid that if we don’t have a cocktail hour people will be starving, and then once the buffet is open people will want to eat and then leave eearly, since the night isn’t well spread out. What do you think? Am I being anal?

 

[elepri]

In most weddings I''ve been to cocktail hour has been the best part. First, it''s pretty much the only time you get to mingle and meet lots of people, second, you get to sample various food, which is often much better than the main course anyway. If money is an issue, maybe cut out one of the dinner courses instead? But as far as guests starving, if you just skip the cocktail hour and start dinner right after the ceremony, it shouldn''t be a problem.

 

[Cath]

I don''t think food should be an issue -- if you skipped the cocktail hour, how long would it be until the buffet was open? Could you open it sooner?

I do like the mixing and mingling of the cocktail hour though. We did photos pre-ceremony too and had the ceremony and reception in the same place, but we still had the cocktail hour. We spent the cocktail hour mingling with guests (we mingled with all the guests at the reception too, but since we had already chatted with all of them at the cocktail hour it went faster and we had more time to enjoy dinner and dance!)

Depending on how many guests you have, you''ll be surprised how much time it takes just to chat a few minutes with each of them!

 

[teebee]

I have actually never been to a wedding with a cocktail hour ~ I think it is somewhat of a regional thing? Although, I guess most of those did not have the wedding & reception at the same location, but a few did. Can you make arrangements for the buffet to be ready soon after the ceremony is over? Also, what kind of music? I think if you have good food and music and people are having a good time they will not take off immediately after eating.

I guess what is common in this area, and also what we are doing for our reception, would be what you might consider a ''cocktail evening'' because we will have a large buffet of many different hot & cold hor''s deuvres being served throughout the entire evening. We considered a sit-down meal and also a buffet meal, but I wanted to serve food that encouraged mingling and that people could eat while walking around and talking and not have to sit down. Like I said, this is common around here and I''ve never come away from a reception hungry nor have I ever left early... I guess that''s also why it''s not all that common to have arranged seating in this area since people are up and moving around a lot and people are not being served a meal, so it''s not really necessary.

Anyhow, it may be really uncommon in your area but possibly an option?

 

[abradabra]

This is a bit unconventional, but could you include snacks in your table design? Fruit plates or something appetizer-like at everyone''s seat to hold them over until dinner is served? If you have seating cards, you could include a snack with each seating assignment card or something to that effect. Basically the idea is to give your guests food before you open the buffet but without the typical cocktail hour feel. Plus, without having mingling waitstaff--you''d definitely save money!

 

[moremoremore]

I think that if the guests are going RIGHT to dinner...as in RIGHT there, I think it is ok to skip..e/t I agree that that''s the best part ... but if you skipped it I would absolutely put some goddies out before the ceremony....

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 4/26/2005 3:51:22 PM
Author:treysar
Fi decided that he doesn''t want a cocktail hour. Our ceremony is on the beach, and our reception is in the same place. We are doing our photos before the ceremony, so he feels that there''s no point to a cocktail hour.

I’m afraid that if we don’t have a cocktail hour people will be starving, and then once the buffet is open people will want to eat and then leave eearly, since the night isn’t well spread out. What do you think? Am I being anal?

I must be missing something here. The only time I''ve ever seen a "cocktail" hour is when the photos are taking right after the ceremony....and that''s because dinner isn''t usually served until the bride and groom arrive, so snacky foods time them over until B&G arrive and then dinner begins.

In your case, ceremony/reception is in the same place. Why can''t you just instruct that buffet should be ready to open 30 or 45 minutes from start of ceremony? If you''re getting married at 3, instruct the reception place to plan for 3:45 buffet.

I agree with your BF....no point to a cocktail hour.

 

[jlc0604]

The cocktail hour is my favorite part too. Like elepri mentioned, it''s fun to mingle and have drinks while anticipating the reception. And I really like appetizers and finger foods. I do think the main purpose of them is for guests to have something to eat and drink while the bridal party gets photographed. But I may do photos before-hand like you, not to skip the cocktail hour but so I can be there and not have to miss it!

But if you go right into the reception and your guests won''t be waiting around, I don''t think it''s necessary. It would work either way I think.

 

[blueroses]

I''m a big fan of the cocktail hour too.

I was in a wedding this past fall which did something slightly different that might work for you? The ceremony and reception were in the same place as well, and we took the pics before the ceremony. Unconventional, to be sure, but what they did was have the photos w/ wedding party, THEN the cocktail hour w/ hourdervers (which I can''t spell) WITH the bride and groom--so they got to mingle with everyone before the ceremony, THEN the ceremony, then dinner....it was different, but really fun.

?

 

[MelissaSue]

hmm.. yeah.. I''d want to have a couple drinks before dinner! It gets everything moving a little bit!

 

[ep6585]

I''m getting married on May 7th in Charleston, SC. Our ceremony is right on the beach and the reception is immediately following it at the beach house we''re renting. We''re having a very casual lowcountry boil and BBQ and won’t be having a formal cocktail hour. There will be beer and wine available right away and people will be able to mingle the entire time.

 

[ame]

We aren''t doing a cocktail hour at the reception. The thing starts at 7, sit down dinner, then partay time. For the rehearsal we are having one because my rehearsal is at 3pm. The girl running this site messed up and gave my contracted slot away and refuses to care- I made the girl come in early to let us in and because she doesnt want us going to her boss and ratting on her she''s doing it. I call every few weeks to verify my plans with her boss and her to make sure she hasn''t screwed up anything else. I know the girl in the slot after me, she''s having both her wedding and reception there, no cocktail hour.

 

[Rebemdee]

We are having the ceremony and reception in the same place. We''ll do photos before, and then, since it''s a SMALL wedding, be able to get a group photo after. We''ll have the bartender ready and appetizers to pass out as the kids play and get some energy out, after sitting for the ceremony. We picked a place that is kid friendly for this reason. Then, we''ll have a sit down lunch. We went with day time so the kids wouldn''t go nutty. I think you could very easily go without a cocktail hour if people went directly from the ceremony to the meal. It is nice, however, if ceremony and reception are in the same place, for people to stretch their legs before dinner.

 

[marriahlyn]

We didn''t have a specific cocktail hour at our reception. Will alcoholic beverages be available to the guests anyway? We had a private wedding with our parents and my dd at noon then spent the afternoon in bed (DH knew he''d get drunk at the reception and wanted time to consumate the marriage LOL). Our reception started at 6 but it was open bar so everyone had plenty of drinks before dinner........and after LOL. Talk about a drunkfest!!!

 

[JCJD]

I too have never been to a wedding with a cocktail hour, with perhaps the exception of my aunt''s wedding when I was 7. Our wedding is going to be one big cocktail hour, hors d''oeuvres, wine, cake and dessert, and dancing.

 

[bar01]

Date: 4/26/2005 3:51:22 PM
Author:treysar
Fi decided that he doesn''t want a cocktail hour. Our ceremony is on the beach, and our reception is in the same place. We are doing our photos before the ceremony, so he feels that there''s no point to a cocktail hour.

I’m afraid that if we don’t have a cocktail hour people will be starving, and then once the buffet is open people will want to eat and then leave eearly, since the night isn’t well spread out. What do you think? Am I being anal?

We have a similar wedding and reception - all down at the beach. Photos done before hand too. Food will start right after the "I do''s"

However, food is not formal sit down - it is standup - with lots of figure foods and drinks served via trays from waiters working the crowd. Kind of like one long cocktail party - rather than a traditional dinner.

We are having some cracker/vegetable platters set out - and an open bar – available 30-45 mins before ceremony. People can come to the beach early, hangout, have a glass of wine/snack and relax before things get started.