- Joined
- Feb 22, 2009
- Messages
- 4,602
Today, I sit here and I''m emotionally spent. I can hardly function. Two cups of tea and two cups of coffee and...nothing. Yesterday wasn''t much different.
MY life is pretty mundane. I wake up, get the kids to school, kiss the husband off to work, do the mom thing around the house, (visit you guys), make dinner, go to bed. A few variances here and there, but nothing too major. I keep life pretty small. I have to actually, I''m chronically ill and I have my limitations.
It''s the people around me that are getting to me. The most major source of emotional stress has been my mom. I''m so completely worried about her. Her husband committed suicide a few months ago and (of course) she isn''t handling it well. There is more to the story though, they were alcoholics together. They were so embroiled in the disease that they thought they "were doing well" when they switched from hard liquor to wine. After her husband died, she stopped drinking for a time. That time is over. Drinking is in full swing and worse than ever. I''m afraid she''s going to drink herself to death over this pain. I just don''t know what to do.
My step sister told me the other day that she called my mom one evening and they had an entire conversation where my mom was so drunk, she thought she was talking to my aunt! My mom has also cussed people out (while drunk) and drunk dialed too many others.
Here''s the thing, she thinks she''s sly about her drinking. She''ll call you drunk as can be one evening and the next morning, act as if nothing happened! She''s closeted about it, even though she''s been through rehab in the past and everyone knows she drinks!
I''m just so afraid. I''m not really sleeping because I don''t want to lose her, but I don''t know what to say to her either. I know addicts too, saying something doesn''t really DO anything anyway. My therapist says I need alanon, but I have a hard time seeing how they can help me. I feel like our situation is unique due to the suicide. I feel like I need to be there for my mom''s pain and help her in any way I can. I don''t feel like I can draw hard boundaries on her right now...she''s too raw. She needs too much. Then there is the other side of me that feels that this family enabled one person into his grave and I don''t want to do it to another!
Not sure what I''m looking for. Maybe it''s just good to vent. Thanks for reading.
MY life is pretty mundane. I wake up, get the kids to school, kiss the husband off to work, do the mom thing around the house, (visit you guys), make dinner, go to bed. A few variances here and there, but nothing too major. I keep life pretty small. I have to actually, I''m chronically ill and I have my limitations.
It''s the people around me that are getting to me. The most major source of emotional stress has been my mom. I''m so completely worried about her. Her husband committed suicide a few months ago and (of course) she isn''t handling it well. There is more to the story though, they were alcoholics together. They were so embroiled in the disease that they thought they "were doing well" when they switched from hard liquor to wine. After her husband died, she stopped drinking for a time. That time is over. Drinking is in full swing and worse than ever. I''m afraid she''s going to drink herself to death over this pain. I just don''t know what to do.
My step sister told me the other day that she called my mom one evening and they had an entire conversation where my mom was so drunk, she thought she was talking to my aunt! My mom has also cussed people out (while drunk) and drunk dialed too many others.
Here''s the thing, she thinks she''s sly about her drinking. She''ll call you drunk as can be one evening and the next morning, act as if nothing happened! She''s closeted about it, even though she''s been through rehab in the past and everyone knows she drinks!
I''m just so afraid. I''m not really sleeping because I don''t want to lose her, but I don''t know what to say to her either. I know addicts too, saying something doesn''t really DO anything anyway. My therapist says I need alanon, but I have a hard time seeing how they can help me. I feel like our situation is unique due to the suicide. I feel like I need to be there for my mom''s pain and help her in any way I can. I don''t feel like I can draw hard boundaries on her right now...she''s too raw. She needs too much. Then there is the other side of me that feels that this family enabled one person into his grave and I don''t want to do it to another!
Not sure what I''m looking for. Maybe it''s just good to vent. Thanks for reading.
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