A surprise wedding?

[calamityJJJ]

Has anyone ever been to one? I've considered the idea, and I'm warming to it.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

As in, a surprise for your fiance or a surprise for your guests? I'm confused

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

When we first got engaged we toyed with the idea.

bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/suprise-wedding-t109240.html?hilit=suprise wedding

But then when my mum decided she hated the idea it all went a little pear shaped.

bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/suprise-wedding-t109240.html?hilit=suprise wedding



Personally i still love the idea, but in the end it wasn't for us. Planning a wedding is a lot of work and that work load increases when you can't ask anyone to help you because no one knows that you are getting married.

 

[yssie]

Honestly, I think it's really bizarre - trying way too hard to be 'unique'. If I was invited to one of these I wouldn't look back and think "that was cool!", I'd think "that was really strange".


I dunno...if you're going to have an engagement party, have an engagement party.. if you're going to have a simple wedding, have a simple wedding with whomever you want to invite and a simple engagement-party-like party afterward. If you want to elope, elope. Why go through the elaborate unnecessary ruse, baffle your guests, most probably hurt your nearest and dearest, risk your sanity planning the whole thing in secret - all for the sake of saying "SURPRISE!"? Honestly seems like such an immature way for a couple to start their lives together, turning the celebration and commemoration into a big prank.


Though I wrote above what I would remember as a guest - what the bride and groom remember is unarguably most important..


My humble, honest, and personal opinion as posted at 3:30 am and not proofread.

 

[calamityJJJ]

To each his own right? Some have stated that dancing down the aisle is tacky, some thought "I bet they will be happily married." Our differences make life interesting.

The idea started looking good to me after I saw what planning a wedding can do to a family (my brother recently got married). It's a long story, but a repeat of the situation would be unavoidable. Planning by myself looks better than having my family tear each other apart.

I did consider the implications, ie hurting my family etc, but then again, eloping comes with a whole new set of issues too.

 

[Maisie]

I have a friend whose mother was very interfering in her marriage plans. She wanted to invite people that my friend just didn't want there. Hannah decided to arrange a surprise wedding. She was being confirmed into the Church of England and invited all of her friends to watch the ceremony. After her confirmation she and her FI were married. Her mother was astonished and not too impressed, but the couple were happy that they got the wedding they wanted. Then they went off and enjoyed a fab party.

 

[FrekeChild]

Well, depending on how it was posed to guests, I'd be worried that some guests wouldn't come because they didn't think it would be the wedding. You know?

Still think it's a good idea though!

 

[anchor31]

I have a friend whose mother was very interfering in her marriage plans. She wanted to invite people that my friend just didn't want there. Hannah decided to arrange a surprise wedding. She was being confirmed into the Church of England and invited all of her friends to watch the ceremony. After her confirmation she and her FI were married. Her mother was astonished and not too impressed, but the couple were happy that they got the wedding they wanted. Then they went off and enjoyed a fab party.

Haha, I should have done that so I wouldn't have had to endure all the MIL tantrums!

Seriously though, as a guest I would probably find it a bit odd, and would probably say that I would have liked to know so I could dress accordingly and bring a gift. Last December DH and I attended an engagement dinner and we hadn't known in advance that it was an engagement dinner, so we weren't dressed appropriately and we hadn't brought a gift... Needless to say we weren't too happy with the organizer (MIL... ) and felt kind of cheap.

 

[4ever]

Unless you are a celebrity I don't get it.

 

[zoebartlett]

To answer your question, no, I've never been to a surprise wedding. I agree with Yssie. Have the wedding you want without disguising it as something else. I know celebrities often have surprise weddings, and I see why they do it. But for everyone else, I don't really understand the appeal. Why are you thinking of having one?

 

[Should Be Studying]

I have never been to one, but I did see one on Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? a few years ago that was pulled off very well (with a wedding planner of course). Maybe I'm laid back, but I don't think I would be upset if someone invited me to a party and it turned out to be a wedding. I wouldn't be upset about not bringing a gift, because I would know that it wasn't expected since I didn't know about it. Or I would just send one later.

Personally, I think to each his (or her) own, and if that's what makes you happy, why not? If you think you will have too much family drama during planning, and this is the best option for you, then I don't see the problem with it. Maybe if you invited people for an engagement party, and then ended up having a surprise wedding, then I think that would take care of people being dressed appropriately. I personally wouldn't have a surprise wedding because I enjoy the planning with my friends and family, but if that's not your situation, I think you are entitled to do what makes you happy!

Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Indylady]

Huh..

That would be a snazzy idea if the bride/groom's family wasn't pleased with the couple's decision to be married. I know of two families that boycotted their children's wedding because they we're pleased with their children's choice of spouse. I suppose the family would have to stick around and at least pretend to enjoy the wedding to save face; or, it could mean serious dramz and a lot of crying. Hmnn. Perhaps not a snazzy idea after all..

 

[yssie]

Not to be contrary, but family drama isn't going to just go away after the wedding, and I have no doubt that in this sort of situation a "surprise wedding" will just create MORE drama.

And even if one somehow avoids creating more drama with the wedding - what's next, a "surprise baby" after a trip to the hospital for a stomach bug?

 

[sctsbride09]

I have never been to one, but I certainly wouldnt be upset as a guest at one. Although, if I *personally* was having issues with family over the wedding, I would just elope (we did btw), just because I would rather spend OUR money on something that will be a good memory for us instead of jumping through hoops trying to please others. However, I believe to each his own, if having a surprise wedding is really what you want, DO IT! But if you want to elope, dont let family stop you. The way I see it, they will be upset at lack of involvement either way.

 

[Scorpioanne]

My best frind had a surprise wedding that wasn't such a well kept surprise as some sussed it out. I was her MOH so I knew as did the rest of the wedding party but the groom's kids didn't. It was an informal party at the lake that the whole community was invited to and it worked out beautifully for them. My only disappointment was that she didn't have a bouquet so I didn't get one

 

[violet3]

The only reason i would say no to this is that people may not prioritize attending a party or get-together like they would a wedding. I personally always work on weekend nights - i would be thrilled to take off work for a friend's wedding, but if someone was having a party, I might not be able to do so -- simply put, i can't afford to take off unless it's something really important. I would be really sad to know i missed a special because i didn't have the advanced notice to take off.

 

[Indylady]

Not to be contrary, but family drama isn't going to just go away after the wedding, and I have no doubt that in this sort of situation a "surprise wedding" will just create MORE drama.

And even if one somehow avoids creating more drama with the wedding - what's next, a "surprise baby" after a trip to the hospital for a stomach bug?

Haha, does family drama ever go away?

(Purely rhetorical/silly question!)