A question of networking and etiquette

[Aloros]

This has been running in my head all of yesterday, and I''m not exactly sure how to handle this situation.

First off, both FI and I are aspiring writers. We both have completed novels that we are shopping around. I''ve put mine aside for a bit to work on a business I''m starting (but will be picking it up again in a couple weeks). I''ve gotten very close to getting representation, but haven''t yet. My FI''s full manuscript is out on an exclusive read at a big-name agency. He''s expecting to hear back within the next couple days *crosses fingers*.

This weekend, we went to his dad''s place for dinner. FI''s brother, wife, and kids were there. I chatted it up, and FI''s brother offered to hook me up with a read by one of his friends - a former literary agent who still has connections in the business.

But what I''m wondering is...why wouldn''t he have offered this opportunity to FI? The manuscript read at the big-name agency isn''t a shoe-in by any means, and FI could use this sort of opportunity as well as I could.

I haven''t mentioned this to FI yet (he wasn''t in the room at the time). Should I take this networking opportunity guilt-free or what? And I cringe to think that FI might be hurt that his brother didn''t offer to him first.

 

[pyramid]

Could it be different styles of writing or different topics and he knows that your FI's is not what would appeal to those people? If his is already with a big-name agency maybe he knows that he will receive enough publicity, will yours go to them also or does it take a lot to get in? I have no idea about any of this.

 

[Mara]

this makes me think of the Desperate Housewives episode last nite, except you two aren''t fighting over the opp...hehee.

why didn''t you ask? it''s his brother...so i don''t think it would have been farfetched to ask ''hey can i tell FI about this too?''

 

[purrfectpear]

Maybe he''s read his brother''s work

 

[Elmorton]

Or the reader might be someone your FI also knows? Or the reader has already seen FI''s work? Or, FBIL feels uncomfortable passing his brother''s manuscript, but feels that yours is more "detached" - your name is different, you aren''t legally family, etc - I think there''s a whole host of reasoning there that isn''t a snub.

I would take the opportunity (because goodness knows when you''re trying to get something published, you need the opportunities), but I would discuss it with your FI before I did anything - not really to ask for his permission, but to explain that there was an offer and that you plan to take it (ie, bottom line, don''t blindside FI). Also, I wouldn''t present this as "Why did FBIL not ask you?" - I''d just say "FBIL mentioned doing this for me, I wanted to let you know."

Best of luck to you both! It must be an exhilarating feeling to both be completed with your novels - at least I''m sure it beats writing at the same time

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 3/9/2009 5:31:41 PM
Author: Elmorton
Or the reader might be someone your FI also knows? Or the reader has already seen FI''s work? Or, FBIL feels uncomfortable passing his brother''s manuscript, but feels that yours is more ''detached'' - your name is different, you aren''t legally family, etc - I think there''s a whole host of reasoning there that isn''t a snub.

I would take the opportunity (because goodness knows when you''re trying to get something published, you need the opportunities), but I would discuss it with your FI before I did anything - not really to ask for his permission, but to explain that there was an offer and that you plan to take it (ie, bottom line, don''t blindside FI). Also, I wouldn''t present this as ''Why did FBIL not ask you?'' - I''d just say ''FBIL mentioned doing this for me, I wanted to let you know.''

Best of luck to you both! It must be an exhilarating feeling to both be completed with your novels - at least I''m sure it beats writing at the same time

Ditto