A Problem... Need Opinions...

[Mashira]

So FF and I are looking for a church for the ceremony. We've decided to start early because where we live there is a REAL shortage of small chapels. (We live in Texas and most churches are mega-churches). I am a religious person and so is FF. We picked a date that has ended up being a Sunday. I was fine with this, until we started looking for a church. Most churches will not allow weddings on Sundays because of services. Now we are faced with either:

a .changing the date (and we've already booked the caterer for the Sunday)
b. not doing the ceremony in a church

I would not be completely heartbroken if it were not in a church, but I've always imagined it that way from the time I was a little girl. I think I could very much appreciate a nice outdoor wedding, but there is a lack of facilities to do that here, and with the Texas heat, it could very well kill everyone! There is another option. The place we are looking at for the reception also does weddings. I'm not in love with the space but they have an AMAZING spiral staircase I would use as my 'aisle'. The problem is.... it's hard for me to get excited about the thought of that. I feel like my dream dress belongs in a church, and I would probably not get the dress I wanted because it wouldn't suit the ceremony. *sigh* I don't know. I just don't know... opinions?

 

[meresal]

How significant is the date you picked?

I live in texas, and though many of the churches are large (and gorgeous)... most of them have smaller chapels that you can get married in. My church has one that holds about 150 ppl and it is gorgeous! They are out there.

With that said, I think it is going to be next to impossible to find a church that will let you marry on a Sunday. From what I've heard these are pretty much the only day of the week that is a 100% no-go.

You just have to decide what is more important... the date, or the church?

Just keep in mind that you want this to be the most memorable day for you and your FI as a couple. If I was in your situation, and the date was extremely special to us as a couple... then I would put my dream of a church wedding aside, and the dress that goes with it.

 

[Mashira]

Thanks for your advice! The date has no sentimental significance, it was picked because it worked and we both agreed on it.

Our wedding will be 50-60ish (70 max, that's the whole list) guests. I'm finding that Sunday is definitely a no-go for weddings. I'm also finding that most churches (at least where I am, South Texas) have a 'no pictures during the actual ceremony' policy. T

his means no pictures of us exchanging rings, no pictures of the "you may kiss the bride" moment. I'm actually starting to think that I may opt for an outdoor Sunday wedding based on this more than the date. Again, thank you for replying!

 

[meresal]

No pictures during the ceremony would be a deal breaker for me...

I think outdoor on a Sunday sounds great!

 

[mrscushion]

Based on your first response, I thought, "renegotiate the date with the caterer and switch to a different day of the week," but Meresal is right, the no-photo-rule would be a deal-breaker for me, too. Could you change your date to a month where South Texas isn't quite as hot?

 

[AustenNut]

I'm getting married on a Sunday, in my church. And we're allowed to have photos taken during the ceremony. So basically, I would suggest still looking around. Is there a specific time on Sunday that you're looking for? We have to have our ceremony later in the day because they also have an afternoon service that won't be cleared out until 4:00, which means we're starting at 5:00, which is later than usual for a Sunday wedding. But perhaps something like this could work, or maybe other churches have a slot in the middle of the afternoon between morning and evening services. Since you and your fiance are religious, is there a church you regularly attend? If you're a member the church might also be more willing to be flexible for you.

Regardless of where you decide to get married, and I'm sure it will all work out great.

 

[Mashira]

Thank you again ladies for all your replies! I do agree that no photos is a deal breaker. I have a church I regularly attend but it's what one would call a 'mega-church' with theater seating. With only about 50-60 people attending the wedding we wouldn't fill up so much as two pews/rows.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Mashira, do you mind sharing where in South Texas you are from? I grew up around the Edinburg-Mission area and the only thing that most churches stated was that there be no flash photography during the ceremony and also that guests couldn't take photos. A good photographer will be able to work around the no flash policy (most wedding photographers don't really even use the flash most of the time).

Since most wedding guests usually carry point and shoot cameras, it's hard to get decent photos without a flash and the flash is very disturbing during services. Especially in this age of everyone carrying a camera or a camera cell phone, I can see why the priest would say no photos!

Would you be okay with looking for a different church within your denomination to hold the wedding at? Possibly one that would allow you to photograph your ceremony?

 

[Gypsy]

Well, I don't know what you beliefs are... but I wanted to get married outside, because I kinda see the entire world as God's Church and I feel closer to divinity when I'm outside. If you've always wanted a church wedding, then change your date and talk to your caterer to see what works for her. But if what you want is a religious ceremony that is 'holy' I don't see why you have to have it in a church. Some believe that God is everywhere that his believers are. So if you go by that... then your ceremony, wherever it is, will be blessed. I think it's just a matter of perspective. And yeah, the no pics during ceremony is incomprehensible to me. They videotape papal ceremonies... what is the deal with no pics at weddings?

 

[Amzizzle]

I agree with a lot of the other posts ,that if they said no pics that would be the deal breaker. I think if you really take a couple nights to sleep on it you will know in your heart what you really want

 

[vc10um]

I ran into the "no or limited pictures" issue a lot when I was looking for churches for our wedding in Kansas City. FI and I are non-denominational Christians, and it was important to him to have the ceremony in a church, so I started with religions I knew allowed non-members to marry in their sanctuaries: Methodist, Episcopalian, etc. Most, if not all of these churches had very strict rules on photography because of the holiness of the marriage ceremony (ie: only one picture of the bride coming in, and only one picture of the couple going out, and the only pictures during the ceremony could be taken from the back of the sanctuary). After a lot of Googling, and WeddingWire-ing, and Knot-ing, and WeddingMapper-ing, and pretty much exhausting every other wedding website I knew...I managed to find a non-denominational church with a mid-size chapel (~200 seats) for our 100 guest wedding, that has no restrictions on photography AND is marrying us on a Sunday!

So, moral of the story is: the church for you may be out there...you just have to keep looking!

Best of luck!