A (Potentially) Very Long Engagement

[minidancer]

My fiancé and I got engaged about a month ago, and the giddiness still hasn't worn off.

Naturally, everyone keeps asking us about when the big date is and we are torn between two options: March 2015 or March 2016. We both know we want a spring wedding, so it's just a matter of choosing the year. The venue we want still has one Saturday in March 2015, so we need to make a decision about timing ASAP if we want to get married a year from now.

Although March 2015 is almost a year away, we won't be doing any planning for about 3-4 months. I will be taking the bar exam at the end of July, which will require intense studying May-July. Immediately after the bar exam, we leave for a Europe trip, and won't be back at home until late August. This means we will do very little (if any) planning late May - late August.

Is 6-7 months enough to plan a wedding? Would it be smarter to hold off and save up more money, take our time planning? My fiancé is confident that it can be done, but I'm a little nervous that he has little idea about all the details that go into a wedding.

We are looking to have 120-150 guests, and have a venue selected. Could we pull off a wonderful wedding in 6 months or would it better to take our time planning for March 2016?

Thanks for your input in advance.

 

[ckrickett]

I think it would depend on a lot of different factors

Budget
Wedding planner/ day of coordinator.
are vendors you must have booked?
will it be better for your guests to come in 2015 rather then longer away when things might not be known about their situation?

These are just things I had to consider with my upcoming wedding, we had a year gap and we opted for doing it sooner, but that is just us.

 

[minidancer]

Thanks for giving me some things to think about.

Our only set vendor is the venue and cake, and it would be easier on our budget to have the wedding two years out as I won't be working for 3 months this year.

Interesting to think about whether it will be harder or easier for guests to make it to a wedding two years out-- just more unknowns!

We will probably opt out of using a wedding planner, and we are leaning toward doing the wedding in 2016.

 

[ckrickett]

Thanks for giving me some things to think about.

Our only set vendor is the venue and cake, and it would be easier on our budget to have the wedding two years out as I won't be working for 3 months this year.

Interesting to think about whether it will be harder or easier for guests to make it to a wedding two years out-- just more unknowns!

We will probably opt out of using a wedding planner, and we are leaning toward doing the wedding in 2016.

I think if it would be easier on your budget it would be easier for you overall. So that would be the biggest factor, for me at least.

 

[wakingdreams53]

We got engaged in June 2013 and were planning on a November 2014 wedding which has been bumped up a year to November 2015. (2.5 years!) It seems like a long engagement, but for what it's worth, we intend to be married far longer than engaged! Having more time to budget and plan is SO relieving, and my intended guest list is 1/12th the size of yours! It's your special day, you don't need to make a rush job of it. If you want to DIY, you have time for it, but you won't with a 6-7 month time frame. You have enough time to have a million ideas, 20 pinterest boards, and 40 "neverminds." Especially if you're leaning towards 2016 anyway, give yourself a break! Enjoy engaged bliss, wedding planning & good luck on the bar!

 

[minidancer]

We got engaged in June 2013 and were planning on a November 2014 wedding which has been bumped up a year to November 2015. (2.5 years!) It seems like a long engagement, but for what it's worth, we intend to be married far longer than engaged! Having more time to budget and plan is SO relieving, and my intended guest list is 1/12th the size of yours! It's your special day, you don't need to make a rush job of it. If you want to DIY, you have time for it, but you won't with a 6-7 month time frame. You have enough time to have a million ideas, 20 pinterest boards, and 40 "neverminds." Especially if you're leaning towards 2016 anyway, give yourself a break! Enjoy engaged bliss, wedding planning & good luck on the bar!

Thanks wakingdream53! I am meeting with the venue next Sunday, so I will have to have some kind of direct answer for them.

I lean toward 2016 most of the time, and I think I just need to make a decision and stick with it! My fiance is LOVING me going back and forth and "debating" it with him (aka me arguing for both sides and him agreeing with both sides)... not. 2016 makes more sense financially and mentally. Right now my biggest concern is that if I plan for 2015, I will spend my bar study time with one eye on Pinterest and one eye on my books. :

Wakingdream53, have you gotten weird comments about your long engagement?

 

[Stephny691]

Engaged November 21st 2013, wedding possibly March 7th 2016, or even 2017!

Yah, we've been together 8 years, and we want to buy a house this year, and then go on an actual proper holiday (this might not seem like a huge deal to other people but we've never been on holiday by ourselves!) As someone else said, I'm planning on being married a lot longer than being engaged so the extra wait will be fine.
Plus I'm not sure what you're plans are but- Pass the Bar Exam > Europe Trip > New job? Will you really want to be stressing over the wedding AND a new job? I'd wait till 2016 to be honest, but if you just want to be married- go get married at a registry office then plan a huge 'do' for later on!

 

[minidancer]

Engaged November 21st 2013, wedding possibly March 7th 2016, or even 2017!

Yah, we've been together 8 years, and we want to buy a house this year, and then go on an actual proper holiday (this might not seem like a huge deal to other people but we've never been on holiday by ourselves!) As someone else said, I'm planning on being married a lot longer than being engaged so the extra wait will be fine.
Plus I'm not sure what you're plans are but- Pass the Bar Exam > Europe Trip > New job? Will you really want to be stressing over the wedding AND a new job? I'd wait till 2016 to be honest, but if you just want to be married- go get married at a registry office then plan a huge 'do' for later on!

Thanks for the reassurance Stephny! Congrats on your engagement as well! And maybe more importantly, congrats on a wonderful 8-year relationship. How do you deal with rude comments from people about having a wedding so far out?

We booked the venue for March 12, 2016 yesterday. It's very exciting to have the decision made, so I can stop second guessing myself. I have gotten some annoying and hurtful comments as of late- things like "why did you get engaged already if you aren't ready to get married?" ......Because we love each other and know we want to marry each other. Hmph.

 

[MJ0911]

Can so sympathise. We're hoping to get engaged soon, in fact have been planning for a while. We're so ready to be engaged (been together for 7 years), but know the long engagement is going to be tricky to sell. Thing is we're both really crazy with work, hoping to plan a great party for the wedding (we're actually hoping to throw a surprise wedding at our engagement party) and needing to save etc. But trying to get other people to understand that is a whole 'nother story!

 

[minidancer]

MJ- I hope it works out and you get to surprise everyone with the wedding of your dreams!

Are you helping pick out your ring??

 

[OECrystal]

+1 for a long engagement!

My fiancé and I got engaged in April and are also planning for a long engagement. Partly to save money and hopefully buy a house before the wedding (we are currently living with his parents). The date we chose in 2016 is significant for me because it is also my late father's birthday and it happens to fall on a weekend that year. We have gotten lots of comments and questions about the long engagement, both positive and negative. But the reality is that it's what makes sense for us and it's OUR wedding! We plan on being together for the rest of our lives so waiting a couple of years for a wedding doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

 

[minidancer]

+1 for a long engagement!

My fiancé and I got engaged in April and are also planning for a long engagement. Partly to save money and hopefully buy a house before the wedding (we are currently living with his parents). The date we chose in 2016 is significant for me because it is also my late father's birthday and it happens to fall on a weekend that year. We have gotten lots of comments and questions about the long engagement, both positive and negative. But the reality is that it's what makes sense for us and it's OUR wedding! We plan on being together for the rest of our lives so waiting a couple of years for a wedding doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

Congrats on the recent engagement! You are absolutely right to do what is best for you and your fiancé! & I love that you are choosing a date that is special to you. What month will the wedding be in, if you don't mind me asking?