A New and Nervous Lady in Waiting

[DiamondBug8]

Hello Ladies In Waiting. I am new here and I was wondering if any of you had experienced increasing panic/anticipation as the engagement drew nearer? I am fairly certain that my boyfriend is going to proprose very soon and I find myself worrying. What if I don't like the ring and I can't fake it? My poor sweet boyfriend would be crushed since he knows how much this means to me. He is working with a wonderful jeweler that I chose and I was very involved in the process at the beginning and helped choose the center stone but my BF and the jeweler are designing the setting custom and I'm so so nervous that I won't like it! Did/does anyone else feel this way?

 

[madelise]

Welcome.

Lol, no anticipation or fret on my end because it ain't happening that soon!

If you hate the setting, you can always make a new one. Settings are relatively inexpensive to the center diamond The important thing is, you love your diamond

And have a little faith in him! If you've sent him a million pictures of settings you like, he can't go TOO off base, right? This is someone who knows you well and loves you well-- he'll make you one you like

 

[Mico]

hiii!

ha! Mine refuses to let me out of the process, I feel like i'm proposing to myself! After all this I told him I didn't want to see the ring I'm currently picking out and he said - "oh no honey, I want it mailed to your house, I'll never know if something's wrong and you won't see it till august!" That was almost verbatim - with this face .

I know how you might feel, custom would have me pulling out my hair. You're braver than me though in that you did it - i just found a setting that was already made and went with it knowing i'd likely like it.

p.s. you'll be getting sparkly... soon?!

 

[DiamondBug8]

Thanks for the encouraging words madelise Unfortunately due to budget restrictions, (I will be starting law school in the fall) we wouldn't be able to change the setting for several years. You are right, I should have faith and I have sent him and showed him millions of pictures over the past three years.


nicstx I totally know the feeling! I was feeling a bit too much like I was running the whole show so we decided he would design the setting without me. Guess that backfired! I love love love our jeweler. He has custom made all of the jewelry my father has purchased for my step-mom including her engagement ring. I am hoping he comes up with something unique and fabulous while at the same time freaking out because he is doing exactly that and not just copying something I have already seen!!! I sent him a few pictures of settings I really liked but he advised that althought beautiful some of the settings would be somewhat impractical for everyday wear. So I'm not sure what it is going to look like. We went with an H SI1 1.22 ct pear diamond that we LOVE.

And Yes I am fairly certain that the proposal is going to occur next week while we are on a trip! Very excited!!!

 

[audball]

Welcome!

I got to help pick out my ring ground up so I didn't have this sort of anxiety personally. I'm with madelise, have a little faith that he listened to what you had to say.

Worst case scenario, hopefully you can exchange it if it really bothers you.

Try to enjoy your last few days/weeks/months as a girlfriend!

 

[petit_bijou]

ha! Mine refuses to let me out of the process, I feel like i'm proposing to myself!

Hahah, I TOTALLY feel this way too. DiamondBug8, try to relish in the element of surprise. As much of a control freak that I am, part of me wishes that aspects of my e-ring would be a surprise.

It sounds like you set him up really well with good info, and you're working with a jeweller you trust so I'm sure you'll be blown away in the best possible way!

Also, SOOO exciting that you'll probably see the final result really soon! You'll definitely have to come back and show us how the two of them made out without your final say

 

[star sparkle]

Welcome, DiamondBug! I can't say I currently have any anxiety/anticipation about the ring and whether or not I'll love it, since I picked it out and all. However, I was engaged previously and went the custom route, and I DID have anxiety that time! I picked the stone and told them what I wanted for my setting, but I was still nervous because I didn't get to see it IRL until it was completed! It turned out great, though, so my anxiety and nervousness was for naught.

I'd say try to relax and let some of that anxiety wash away - you've had a lot of input thus far and your SO and jeweler have great ideas for what you like. I'd be more worried about my BF trying to design a setting for me because he knows absolutely nothing about jewelry and has no clue what my tastes are. He's already told me he's never going to surprise me with jewelry as a gift for anything because he's too afraid of getting it wrong. Part of me wishes he was more like your SO in the sense that he has the confidence to pick something he genuinely thinks I'd adore! Your SO must feel like he has a good grasp for your tastes, otherwise I don't think he'd take a big risk like this.

And hey, at the end of the day, if you truly do hate it? It doesn't have to stay that way forever. Save up for a couple of years until you can afford a reset, and go from there!

 

[Phdecorate]

Hi and welcome! Can't believe I am now third from last on the LIW list!

I say don't stress. You have a big advantage, you have the stone you know you like and a jeweler you love making the ring. I will bet that it is going to be perfect. I can see being nervous too, but try to be positive. If it means this much to your SO, I am sure it is because he feels confident enough to get it right!

Also, I think pears are always elegant and more unexpected. I was married before and I had a pear solitaire. I had actually wanted one because my mom had one and I liked the idea of having something like hers. Mine was a 1.21 actually and rather long and skinny. It looked HUGE! I got so many compliments, I think partially because it was so very different than most people (lots of rounds).

I also believe that if somehow, it is not quite what you wanted, you could change the overall look with a different wedding band maybe. Or possibly get the jeweler to remake a little piece of it.

We will look forward to seeing the ring, ESP if it really is going to be next week!! So exciting!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

WELCOME!

I'm much like madelise in the "i am not nervous because its going to be awhile" club! Butttttt I also have already chosen my ring! If he had it his way he'd be proposing next summer, but hes under strict orders to wait till i'm done school!

Everyone is right, the diamond is the most important part and if you chose it then you know its going to be gorgeous. It's hard to trust a guy with these kinda things, but remeber, he really want to make you happy, so i'm sure he has probally done some homework

Hope you enjoy your [short] stay here, we have been having a good time lately, the group of girls here are FANTASTIC!

and next week?!?! Ahhh can't wait to see some pics!

 

[DiamondBug8]

thank you all so much for the warm welcome. I am hoping that the ring is fabulous. I am going to bank on loving the ring because we have already planned for an upgrade later. The bf's mother has a huge engagement ring that she lords over everyone so he has promised me an upgrade.
Also fairly certain that the ring is being designed with my wedding band in mind. We will have our jeweler make my band as well. I'm going to try and attach a picture of what I sort of think the ring design will be based on.

 

[DiamondBug8]

I am going to try and attach the photos i sent to our jeweler. Here goes!!! I think the ring will be a more delicate take on the bezel setting with some pave diamonds.

 

[peonia]

welcome! i totally understand your anxiety over the ring - mine is also being custom made. SO and i did talk about the details of the ring together, and while it is a fairly classic design, it's also one we didn't find in real life which means we're not just getting something copied, just like you! i think that if you trust the jeweller, it is very unlikely it will come out in a way you don't like, so don't worry too much! my SO picked out the stone, finalised the design and chose the jeweller, so i do worry sometimes that it may come out differently to what i expect, but in the end i really do trust my SO and his competence & taste in jewellery, so i'm just sitting back and letting it happen.

as the others have said, try not to stress too much and enjoy this time to the max

 

[pandabee]

welcome welcome! Don't fret, I am sure you will love it if you had any input at all into the ring. Hopefully it will turn out beyond your wildest expectations, and it will be beautiful with a wedding ring too!! Do you have pictures of what the w-ring will look like?

 

[madelise]

I am going to try and attach the photos i sent to our jeweler. Here goes!!! I think the ring will be a more delicate take on the bezel setting with some pave diamonds.

Ooh another pear lover ! I have a little halo pear w/ plain shank.. I love love love pears!


Sound awesome your SO is already planning an upgrade :p does your jeweler do buy backs or trade ins?

 

[DiamondBug8]

Peonia - That sounds amazing that your SO did so much of the legwork!! I don't think my SO felt confident enough in this arena to decide on everything by himself. I am sure that your ring will be amazing!!!

Pandabee- my ring should look like some combination of the photos above. I think they loaded ok?? I am expecting a setting very similar to the plain bezel but with pave on the band. My SO has mentioned that he and the jeweler have been working to minimize the appearance of the metal so I am HOPING that means more diamonds I am drawn to rings that have a bit more going on than my SO is so I'm not sure exactly how it is going to end up. I am just bursting with excitement.

madelise - Yes, I am definitely a pear lover but I am a lover of nearly all shapes. I wanted something a bit more unique and my SO was really drawn to the shape of the pear. I could have gone cushion or asscher but he liked the pear the best. We initially had a REALLY hard time sourcing a pear to our specifications from a local jeweler in AZ. We were getting really frustrated when we decided that we would be willing to work with someone out of state if we could get better results. I am so happy that we did. As far as upgrade/trade in I am not sure of his policy. I think that we will most likely keep the original stone regardless for sentimental reasons and purchase a new larger stone of a different shape.

Thank all of you for the encouragement. I am feeling very confident about the ring. I am only left to obsess about what to pack for the trip!!!

 

[audball]

Oooh! I love the bezel you posted!

 

[Mico]

Oooh! I love the bezel you posted!

ditto

i can only imagine how awesome it would look with diamonds on it

 

[pandabee]

oooh yes I did see the bezel. she would look amazing with pavé sides!!! will your pear be haloed like in the second picture? and do you have a countdown yet?? it should be fairly soon, no??