A great day just got ruined...

[ame]

WEIRD. What a strange response. Can you maybe get a sim for now from Wink or whatever and have them set that? A sapphire maybe?

I know it's a weird response.. she didn't even say anything else besides that as if nothing has happened.
She does that alot though, we will have a fight, and next thing you know she will call me and talk to me like nothing has happened.
Right now I can't afford any gem stone. I spent all I can on Kelpie's diamond and sapphire band set which now I have to resell before anything since they don't fit me =(

A WINK stone would be like $50 max.

 

[minmin001]

WEIRD. What a strange response. Can you maybe get a sim for now from Wink or whatever and have them set that? A sapphire maybe?

I know it's a weird response.. she didn't even say anything else besides that as if nothing has happened.
She does that alot though, we will have a fight, and next thing you know she will call me and talk to me like nothing has happened.
Right now I can't afford any gem stone. I spent all I can on Kelpie's diamond and sapphire band set which now I have to resell before anything since they don't fit me =(

A WINK stone would be like $50 max.

Ah I guess I misunderstood you post. I thought wink was the name of a vendor I'm still very new at color stone and my English is still not perfect.. lots to learn

 

[ame]

Wink is a vendor, but he has his own line of "contraband" stones. They're REALLY nice, and you can get a sim sapphire for under $50 USD to put into that setting

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ah, what a great idea to get a wedding band! Perhaps they'd make you the matching diamond band to the Elena setting instead!

 

[Lottie]

Ah, what a great idea to get a wedding band! Perhaps they'd make you the matching diamond band to the Elena setting instead!

This is a great idea, it would look fabulous and your mother will probably be very happy that you have gone with her suggestion.

I'm sorry your mother gave you such an odd reaction - I think mothers are just prone to bouts like this. My siblings and I all put in together to get my mother some antique earrings for her 60th birthday, gave them to her and she very quickly (and bluntly) told us that she wanted to change them for some other earrings because the ones we chose were too fancy. Don't sugarcoat it then mother!

I think mothers never get past the fact that they spent 18 years (at least) telling us what to do and every now and then they just can't keep a lid on it, it doesn't mean they don't love us unconditionally. You did a lovely, lovely thing, it might have backfired through no fault of your own but you are still a lovely daughter and you should spend that voucher/credit on yourself.

 

[minousbijoux]

Minmin: first off, you sound like the daughter that everyone would want to have and I'm sure your parents are very proud of you.

I don't know if this fits at all, but I have seen with a lot of my friends and my kids' friends' parents that different cultures have very different expectations for their children. Could it be that you have been the "good daughter" that has been serious and studious in school and life? Could it be that on some level, your Mom feels like it is her responsibility to keep you on track (though of course you're all grown up and have your own career, life, and internal drive), that she perceives this as "frivolous," particularly coming from you? All you were trying to do is honor your love for your Mom and show it in this extremely tangible, and generous, way. But she may feel that by showing gratitude or by acting interested, she would be sending you the message that she cares about such things when really she wants you to focus on you and your career? I don't know. Does she know that this is a very special occurrence and that you wanted to give this back for all that she has done for you in your life?

After that, and hearing her side of the story just so there won't be hard feelings (I don't know the type of relationship you have with your Mom, but I would imagine it has to be pretty loving and supportive for you to want to give her this wonderful gift in the first place and therefore can't imagine you wanting to leave it in a hard feelings place), I would simply explain your intentions. And then leave it there.

Then, if I were you, I would start picking out what I wanted to use the setting for and then tell her when you will be running for President.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Honestly, I wouldn't give it to your mother. She doesn't sound excited so why go through the hassle of arranging something for her? Sell it, exchange it and do something good for yourself!

Exactly.

You know, blood is not everything. Sometimes relationships even with blood need to be limited and brief and polite.

 

[minmin001]

Minmin: first off, you sound like the daughter that everyone would want to have and I'm sure your parents are very proud of you.

I don't know if this fits at all, but I have seen with a lot of my friends and my kids' friends' parents that different cultures have very different expectations for their children. Could it be that you have been the "good daughter" that has been serious and studious in school and life? Could it be that on some level, your Mom feels like it is her responsibility to keep you on track (though of course you're all grown up and have your own career, life, and internal drive), that she perceives this as "frivolous," particularly coming from you? All you were trying to do is honor your love for your Mom and show it in this extremely tangible, and generous, way. But she may feel that by showing gratitude or by acting interested, she would be sending you the message that she cares about such things when really she wants you to focus on you and your career? I don't know. Does she know that this is a very special occurrence and that you wanted to give this back for all that she has done for you in your life?

After that, and hearing her side of the story just so there won't be hard feelings (I don't know the type of relationship you have with your Mom, but I would imagine it has to be pretty loving and supportive for you to want to give her this wonderful gift in the first place and therefore can't imagine you wanting to leave it in a hard feelings place), I would simply explain your intentions. And then leave it there.

Then, if I were you, I would start picking out what I wanted to use the setting for and then tell her when you will be running for President.

minousbijoux: Thank you for your kind words.. I'm actually the daughter that disappoints her all the time. She is one of those strong willed woman who does everything great since she wants it. But I'm more of the lay back type who is happy with what I have and not too crazy about fighting for a better life etc. So in Chinese culture, I don't bring her enough "face" like some of her other Chinese friend's kids. Which is why I was so excited about be able to give her the setting since I felt like I'm finally able to do something nice for her. I talked to her yesterday, she said because in American they don't think people just give you such expensive stuff for free I've must spent alot of time on it and my dad and I thought I should put that kind of energy toward getting a better job, life etc... I told her that it only took me 1 min to vote and put my e-mail in and it's not fair for them to get mad at me for something that they just assumed and I was hurt by her words... but in the end she just said, "oh I didn't scolded you that bad, it's not a big deal" and moved on acting like nothing has happened. This is what she does, every time we have a fight, she either calls me later that day or another day and act as if nothing has happened... oh well, I guess I should be used to it by now.
I've contacted WF and hopefully we can work something out, I'll keep my finger crossed.
Thank you

 

[minmin001]

Honestly, I wouldn't give it to your mother. She doesn't sound excited so why go through the hassle of arranging something for her? Sell it, exchange it and do something good for yourself!

Exactly.

You know, blood is not everything. Sometimes relationships even with blood need to be limited and brief and polite.

I think American culture does have better understanding with this part than Chinese. Here if my FI or I do the dishes or clean up etc we say thank you to each other etc but in China you would never see that kind of thing.

 

[minousbijoux]

Well now I understand a little more, and think you are absolutely awesome to reach out to your Mom in that way Minmin. Her reaction is on her and not on you. Head up, because you are the kind thoughtful type that makes this world so much better...