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A great day just got ruined...

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
On my previous post where I was a happy winner of this gorgeous WF diamond setting...to now

As some of you read may know that I was hoping to gift the setting to my mother since she's done alot for me in my life and doesn't have a beautiful setting to match her diamond. Well I was so excited to tell them, first I called my dad and sent him the link of the website and setting and tell them what a great store WF is since he is not comfortable about sending the diamond to WF. He said he'd talk to my mom later and see what she thinks.

Well she just called.. instead of a happy surprise, I got scolded for I should focus my energy on job and etc instead of things like this. I should be happy with my current e-ring( I'm perfectly happy with) which I'll be wearing for my life time and stop putting my energy into this nonsense...

I hang up the phone and asked myself... what just happened?
This is just so upsetting...
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
Now I'm just so upset I don't know what to do... I love my current setting so I don't want to reset my diamond. I can't afford to buy another diamond or a nice gem stone for the setting.... why is this happening... :blackeye:
 

Circe

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
8,087
Aw, MinMin, that sucks. I'm guessing it's a combination of, a) some people just not caring much about jewelry, and, b) some parents being really gruff with their kids automatically. I know mine can be astonishingly negative sometimes, even or especially in response to good news. Don't let it get to you, if you can - you still won a gorgeous setting, which you can set with a colored stone, or sell, or do whatever with, and your folks DO love you, even if they don't seem to know how to show it.
 

KittyGolightly

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2010
Messages
511
I'm sorry that happened. Sometimes people don't react well to surprises. Maybe once she has a moment to digest the news, she'll respond differently.
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,517
minmin001|1318890130|3042297 said:
On my previous post where I was a happy winner of this gorgeous WF diamond setting...to now

As some of you read may know that I was hoping to gift the setting to my mother since she's done alot for me in my life and doesn't have a beautiful setting to match her diamond. Well I was so excited to tell them, first I called my dad and sent him the link of the website and setting and tell them what a great store WF is since he is not comfortable about sending the diamond to WF. He said he'd talk to my mom later and see what she thinks.

Well she just called.. instead of a happy surprise, I got scolded for I should focus my energy on job and etc instead of things like this. I should be happy with my current e-ring( I'm perfectly happy with) which I'll be wearing for my life time and stop putting my energy into this nonsense...

I hang up the phone and asked myself... what just happened?
This is just so upsetting...

HUGS! Sometimes people just *aren't* into things such as resets. I know you were all excited about it but perhaps they'll do a WF credit and you can get some studs/hoops/bracelet or something else?

Or you can post it for sale here on the RT section and preloved section and see if someone wants to buy it from you (if you can even do that?) before it's sent out and set.

Your heart was in the right place-but please don't have any hurt feelings over it. Some times people just don't get it. My SO knows I'm crazy about this stuff and asks why I spend so much time on here. My reply is-why do you like hockey? That put it into perspective lol.

HUGS!
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,584
I'm so sorry minmin. It's funny. I kind of thought about that when I saw your initial post. I LOVE my ering and wouldn't want to trade it for the world. I also wouldn't want to have to invest more $$$ into a stone for the setting I won (not trying to sound ungrateful, but I'm being honest). I think the idea of gifting it to your Mom was lovely. My Mom would probably react the same way. I sort of expect it of her by now. Maybe put a colored stone in it, or be honest with Whiteflash and see if there's something of equal or lesser value that you'd rather have. I'm sure from their point of view, they want someone to purchase a stone from them to put into the setting, but if they know you can't do that, maybe they will work with you. Hugs!
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,660
Is it possible your mother was offended at your suggestion that she change her ering to a style that she didn't even pick out? Not everyone wants to upgrade their original ering. I know you think hers is outdated but she might love it. Most women never consider changing their engagement ring unless it breaks or no longer fits.
 

rainwood

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 29, 2005
Messages
1,486
Let me offer a different perspective. Maybe what you thought of as ugly and outdated in your mother's e-ring setting she finds to be beautiful or sentimental or meaningful to her. And it's her ring so she gets to decide. If the situation had been reversed, would you have wanted to swap out your e-ring setting because your mother won a new one in a contest?

ETA: Just saw that Swingirl had the same thought.
 

mogster

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2011
Messages
364
Congratulations on winning and I'm sorry to hear that your mother did not react the way you expected to the gift. Did your mother ever express interest in having her ring reset? If not, I can imagine that she'd be a little bit upset (and defensive) that you either didn't think her setting was nice (especially if she does) or that you'd want her to change/upgrade settings (if she is traditional or superstitious). In any case, good luck! I'm sure you'll find a wonderful home for it.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,163
I am so sorry your feelings were hurt! :(sad That certainly was not a reaction any of us would have expected. I think we do live in a unique little world here at PS, though, because I can't think of anyone I know in real life that replaced their original e-ring or settings. I think most people just don't care or have never thought about it, or like the others said, maybe some won't replace because of sentimental value. I, too, would explain to WF and tell them you registered to win it as a gift for your mother and that she has declined the gift and ask if you can substitute something else for yourself or just sell the setting. I am sure there are people here who would love to buy that setting at a discount. But it doesn't change the fact that you are a loving and generous person!
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
This sounds familiar. ((HUGS)) honey. You wanted to do something lovely and sweet and instead got a boatload of grief that's not your fault.

How about a lovely gemstone for that setting? What color do you like?

Forte has a gorgeous purple spinel that would look amazing as a RHR with that setting for sale for a very nice price: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/barry-gemstones-for-sale-t166711.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/barry-gemstones-for-sale-t166711.html[/URL]
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
Hi all, Thanks for the reply. I'm grateful for the support.
The ring I want to switch out is not her original e-ring. Her original e-ring has a very small diamond, then 5 years ago she bought this diamond. She rarely wears it (most of the times she wears the old ring) and she loves my e-ring setting which looks like the one I won.
I think they were more uncomfortable about sending the ring to WF for reset since she asked me why can't I just get the setting and instead they have to send a diamond to there etc.
I've e-mailed Ashley from WF about this and hopefully to work something out.
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
Gypsy|1318894271|3042346 said:
This sounds familiar. ((HUGS)) honey. You wanted to do something lovely and sweet and instead got a boatload of grief that's not your fault.

How about a lovely gemstone for that setting? What color do you like?

Forte has a gorgeous purple spinel that would look amazing as a RHR with that setting for sale for a very nice price: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/barry-gemstones-for-sale-t166711.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/barry-gemstones-for-sale-t166711.html[/URL]
Thank you Gypsy, I can't afford a nice gem stone right now and I don't want to just set any stone into this lovely setting. I just bought Kelpie's diamond and pink sapphire band set not too long ago only find out my fingers are too big for them. so now I'm trying to selling them but the money I recover back can not be used towards a gem stone since I still need a wedding band. :blackeye:
 

rainwood

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 29, 2005
Messages
1,486
Totally makes sense, MinMin. Online transactions and sending things off can be disconcerting for anyone. Hope it works out and Mom can get her new setting.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
I'd turn on the reverse guilt and let her know how awful she made you feel when you thought you were doing something nice, that it's okay if she doesn't want it and you will find someone else to give it to.
 

Verdy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 20, 2011
Messages
319
Awwwe. Sounds like you were just trying to be selfless is all. When I saw the winner I hoped it was a PSer, and thankfully it was, so many congrats to you, and I really hope the situation with your parents works out, sometimes they can be a little difficult, but perhaps you'll be able to persuade them. It's very kind and sweet of you to have thought of your mother, kudos to you for being a wonderful daughter! :bigsmile:
 

JewelFreak

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
7,768
Minmin, it was the most beautiful thought. Very impressive character you have. Once your mother has time to think, I'll bet she's sorry she spoke so sharply. Sometimes people don't do well with surprises, even wonderful ones -- my DH is very much like that. Sometimes you can catch someone at a bad time, too -- when they may feel cranky or hurried or worried.

If you can get WF to send you the setting & have a local jeweler re-set your mother's diamond -- so she won't feel insecure about it since it must represent a fair investment to your parents -- I'm sure she'll be really pleased. What mother wouldn't be proud to have a daughter like you? (I'LL adopt you!! Especially if you win more settings!) :wavey:

--- Laurie
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
24,128
swingirl|1318892541|3042321 said:
Is it possible your mother was offended at your suggestion that she change her ering to a style that she didn't even pick out? Not everyone wants to upgrade their original ering. I know you think hers is outdated but she might love it. Most women never consider changing their engagement ring unless it breaks or no longer fits.
My thoughts exactly.
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
Thank you guys. Yall are so sweet and thoughtful. I knew it's the right place to come and (cry about it :Up_to_something: ).
This place is such a wonderful community and I'm so glad I found here.
I hope everything will work out as well and I'll keep yall update!
Thanks again and many loves!
 

merilenda

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
816
I just wanted to say I get it. My mom is one of the most negative people ever...she will find a way to make ANY situation negative. She will also be sure to tell me what I've done wrong in any situation ever.

Even if she didn't want to reset her ring, she could have handled it in a way that wasn't hurtful to you.
 

Imdanny

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
6,186
I'm so sorry! There's nothing wrong with having a hobby and it was so thoughtful of you to want to do this. My mother can be harsh sometimes and I've learned not to take it personally. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you as others have said. Hugs!
 

junebug17

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Jun 17, 2009
Messages
12,513
I'm sorry you were hurt by your mother's reaction minmin - you were just trying to do something nice, and got a lecture instead. She could have been nicer about it, even if she doesn't want to change her setting. ((hugs)) and I hope things work out! It was very sweet of you to think of your mom, you're a great daughter!
 

Hera

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 12, 2007
Messages
2,401
Honestly, I wouldn't give it to your mother. She doesn't sound excited so why go through the hassle of arranging something for her? Sell it, exchange it and do something good for yourself!
 

QueenB29

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
440
I know when my mom thinks something is "too expensive" she freaks out and doesn't want it. There's nothing like being a martyr. :rolleyes: I know that probably doesn't make you feel better though.

Since you said you're in need of a wedding band, maybe WF will let you trade this setting for a band? :Up_to_something:
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
I guess it's clear that she doesn't want the setting since this morning she called and ask if the store can exchange it for wedding band for me and my FI.. it's sweet she is thinking about me..
 

ame

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,763
WEIRD. What a strange response. Can you maybe get a sim for now from Wink or whatever and have them set that? A sapphire maybe?
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,130
Oh min, I'm sorry.


Even if her reaction wasn't to changing a ring she loves, or something like that, I have to say I know exactly how you feel - your heart was in the right place. I once baked a cake for my mum for her birthday and her first response was to yell at me for taking all the cans out of the oven, which she used as storage. She didn't get around to "thank you!" or "hug" for a couple of hours I think... sounds like yours is coming 'round now 8) it's just how some people react to surprises I guess. Of course, it can make gift giving rather a miserable venture. But - yeah, I can say with certainty that I would have got *exactly* the same dressing down, topic for topic...


I'm going to have my dad give her the ring I'm making for her for me, he's the only one guaranteed not to get told off!
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
ame|1318949058|3042683 said:
WEIRD. What a strange response. Can you maybe get a sim for now from Wink or whatever and have them set that? A sapphire maybe?
I know it's a weird response.. she didn't even say anything else besides that as if nothing has happened.
She does that alot though, we will have a fight, and next thing you know she will call me and talk to me like nothing has happened.
Right now I can't afford any gem stone. I spent all I can on Kelpie's diamond and sapphire band set which now I have to resell before anything since they don't fit me =(
 

minmin001

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
2,047
Yssie|1318950033|3042697 said:
Oh min, I'm sorry.


Even if her reaction wasn't to changing a ring she loves, or something like that, I have to say I know exactly how you feel - your heart was in the right place. I once baked a cake for my mum for her birthday and her first response was to yell at me for taking all the cans out of the oven, which she used as storage. She didn't get around to "thank you!" or "hug" for a couple of hours I think... sounds like yours is coming 'round now 8) it's just how some people react to surprises I guess. Of course, it can make gift giving rather a miserable venture. But - yeah, I can say with certainty that I would have got *exactly* the same dressing down, topic for topic...


I'm going to have my dad give her the ring I'm making for her for me, he's the only one guaranteed not to get told off!
wow Yssie, I'm sorry that happened to you. Guess I'm not alone. I am coming around with yall's support. I e-mailed WF asking if it's possible to trade the setting for wedding bands for me and my FI since we do need it and can't afford to buy new ones. Hopefully things will all work out.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,130
Haha you just eventually learn to deal with it - or work around it - I guess! Sounds like a great idea - hopefully WF will play along :))
 
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