a different type of homesick

[ficklefaye]

sorry about all the posts today, but i haven''t been online in a bit

well, i''ve lived away from my parents for over 10 years now, but i''ve always lived close enough that i would visit them every few weeks depending on our schedules

i went to visit them last weekend and my mom was getting sad because she thinks that once i''m married that i wouldn''t visit them as much

i went back home to FI and discussed this with him, but he said things didn''t have to change once we were married and he didn''t see why i wouldn''t visit them if our schedules permitted and didn''t have anything else planned

i just got a little sad thinking about how my mom was getting sad

thank you for letting me share

 

[Luckyeshe]

Is it me or we''re on the same wavelenght today, FF! I was thinking about this too! Except we''ll probably be moving to a different state after we get married and currently, I live about 1.5 hours away from my folks. My mom is already trying to see if she could find him a job in FL, but I doubt that since he needs to be in a lab doing research...

I think you''ll be fine in the long run. I think the first few months if not the first year you may see your family less but that''s only because you''re a newlywed. After that, you''ll be able to settle into a routine where you''ll be able to spend more time with them again.

 

[ficklefaye]

Date: 8/12/2009 12:03:24 AM
Author: Luckyeshe
Is it me or we''re on the same wavelenght today, FF! I was thinking about this too! Except we''ll probably be moving to a different state after we get married and currently, I live about 1.5 hours away from my folks. My mom is already trying to see if she could find him a job in FL, but I doubt that since he needs to be in a lab doing research...


I think you''ll be fine in the long run. I think the first few months if not the first year you may see your family less but that''s only because you''re a newlywed. After that, you''ll be able to settle into a routine where you''ll be able to spend more time with them again.

haha, it does seem like we''re on the same wavelength today

i''m sure it''ll be a little different in the beginning, but i was just sad to see how sad my mom was, i''m the baby in the family so we''ve always been really close

i guess i was just wondering if anyone else felt the same way or if it was just me having a sappy moment

 

[cindygenit]

Don''t worry FF you''ll be fine. Your mum will eventually adjust to the fact that she might be seeing you less and your time together will be even more special.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/12/2009 12:19:29 AM
Author: cindygenit
Don't worry FF you'll be fine. Your mum will eventually adjust to the fact that she might be seeing you less and your time together will be even more special.

Aye, definitely. My mom and I used to work in the same school, so we'd see each other a lot during the week at work, and then sometimes I'd visit for dinner on the weekends and stuff. But, then I fell in love with an Englishman, and now I see my mom once a year because I live in England with him. It's hard on her (and me)--it was REALLY REALLY hard on her at the start (she felt like I had practically died)--but she did eventually adjust, and now our time that we do spend together is an absolute joy because it's such a rare treat to be together.

So yeah, your mom will be ok.

 

[daught3rofEve]

it''s starting to get to my Dad. We have 3 girls in the family (4 if you count my little bro hehehehe jk) and he''s really attached to all of us.
Even though we''re all living in the same house, he''s made comments about how he''s gonna be so emotional, he''s gonna miss me (even though we''re in the same house haha) etc.

He does, however, make an equal amount of comments in that he''s glad that it''s my Fi, and not someone else, who''s marrying me.

I think any amount of distance from my family would really upset me. I lived an hour away from the family for about 4 years, and while it was great ( and I still am retaining my independance at home), I would always just completely relax when I went back home. It just makes more sense to me to live where I''m comfortable (even though I would LOVE to live in PA or something eventually, for now) and it makes me happy.....

unfortunately, not everyone can do that. ***BIG HUGS***

 

[Diva0413]

I''m sorry you and your Mom are sad. Transitions and big changes, like marriage always make families a little sad because the relationship changes too. But since you and your Mom seem to be so close, your marraige I think will have minimal effect on how often you visit her. My Mom has been going through the same thing too. She''s expressed to me over the last few months that she''s concerned her and I won''t be so close anymore since with the marriage I''ll have 2 MILs. She''s also concerned that when FI and I have children that she won''t get to see them as much as the MILs. Which to me is a strange statement because FI and I live within 20 minutes of all of them.