A Diamond joke!

[pinkflamingo]

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost was $6,500.
And, of course,
I made a donation to the church -- that was $500, and
I spent another $500 for the wake, food and drinks --
you know. The rest went for the memorial stone.”

The friend says, "$22,500 for the memorial stone?
My God, how big is it?"








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The widow says: "2 and a half carats."


(Actually the real joke, the widow says 4 and a half carats, but being the faithful pricescoper I am, I knew there was no way that you could get a quality 4.5 carat diamond for that little!

 

[Gypsy]

OMG That just reminded me. I was volunteering at the polls for the last Pres election and the location I was at was a club house of a senior community...

This lady walks in and is MOBBED by three blue haired friends all trying to get a look (a close look, you understand) at the ring on her finger which was shining like a Mag Lite. This thing was just HUGE-- and that was from 15 feet away. Well they approached and one of the ladies is speaking louder than the rest saying over an over again, "I still say you should be ashamed of yourself Marge!" And ole' Marge is cackling-- clearly unashamed. Well, of course when she came over to where I was I had to take a look and she noticed and models this thing for me and it's stunning. WHITE WHITE and with so much fire and sparkle ... a huge fat pear with two tapered (fat) baguettes on either side. And the loud friend notices and says to me, "It's her third rock in as many months-- each bigger than the last!"

So I'm thinking upgrade... until Marge with a definite twinkle in her eye explains


For their fiftieth anniversary her husband promised her ANY ring she wanted from anywhere she wanted (oh yeah, the area I was in was affluent, very affluent). The aniversary was two months away and three months prior to this her husband took her down to Atlantic City to look at rings. Apparently her husband, a 'tightwad like I hope you'll never see in your life, dear" was having memory difficulties however (Marge swore it wasn't alz, though) and has recently entrusted her with the finances.
In fact he entrusted her with the finances right after he said that he couldn't help their grand-daughter pay for her wedding (like Marge wanted) and AFTER the first diamond purchase -- which her husband went back on his word about and didn't let her get THE ring she wanted down in AC.

So... after he entrusts her with the finances and promptly forgets that he already bought her a ring. And she never wore it because she was pissed off at him. So one day he says, "honey lets go to AC get you that ring"... and she goes along with it (still have no idea how the jeweler didn't say anything) and comes home with a new ring. BUT it's still not the ring she wanted originally-- cause that ones not there anymore.

And then again, about a month later her husband wants to buy her a ring. SO this time she calls the jeweler IN ADVANCE and asks him to get a ring similar to her dream ring in and schedules an appointment with him... and her and hubby go in and she walks out with a SEVEN point SEVEN carat pear.

She decided to give the first ring to her grandaughter for her wedding. And the second one she called her alternate, A 4 carat round. Just in case she's feeling 'more discreet.'

Was joking about getting an emerald next month. Of course no one was sure if she was joking or not. Especially since she ended the narrative with, "I almost killed the man when I looked at our investments and saw the amount of money we had! I'm in my seventies-- he's eighty!! I don't want to be buried with it!"

Sorry so long winded... just thought to share. Still makes me laugh.

 

[sunkist]

heehee! funny joke pink

and gypsy that is quite a story

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/16/2006 9:32:39 PM
Author: Gypsy
And the loud friend notices and says to me, ''It''s her third rock in as many months-- each bigger than the last!''

Thanks for the smile, Gypsy!

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

My favorite diamond joke is 2