sherpagirl
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2011
- Messages
- 51
Hello! This is my first time posting a question, although I have often visited this site! My boyfriend of about 5 years and I have talked about getting married for the past year or so. We are both in our late-30's/early 40's --- would be the first marriage for both of us, we both just hadn't "found the one" until we met. In really doing research over the past 6 months, I think I have decided that if I had my choice, my e-ring would either be a 1) a 1.25-1.5 c round solitaire ; or 2) a 1.25-1.5 c round solitaire set with tapered baguettes on each side. I have both of these on my "wishlist" on Bluenile.
We are also in the process of buying our own place - as an opportunity has come up -- and there is a 75-90 percent chance we may have to put our savings into the downpayment + renovations of this new place. That said, he knows that It would be extremely important to me that we make the engagement/marriage commitment soon. So, in my mind, I'm thinking that asking him to pay for an e-ring plus put in additional savings into the downpayment of the home is not reasonable, and I don't want him/us to be in much more debt at the beginning of this next part of our journey!
So as I have been thinking, I am considering asking him to just wait on the diamond --- we can always do that later in the future when he/we have saved enough money without breaking the bank --- and instead, ask him to "propose" with essentially would be the engagement ring, and then serve as the wedding band. I would be very happy with a diamond band which in researching, I think would cost significantly less than an investment in the e-ring --- probably almost 65-70 percent less.
My question is --- i know it is not really tradition, but is it ok for me to present this as an option? I think he would understand. I just dont want him to be stressed from a financial aspect (ie. I can't give her what she wants right now) and I don't want to be stressed b/c he can't make it happen now - and I really want to move forward with next steps of our life.
The second question is --- if he agrees, would I have to make sure the diamond band would go with the e-ring options that I am considering? THe band on Bluenile I"m looking at for the band is the Bella classic diamond band (in platinum, 13 stones) or the Classic floating diamond band (also in platiunum). I think either would look fine with the solitaire, but I Love the baguette setting, but think it would be too much. Again, who knows if my taste / style may change down the road, but does anyone have any guidance on how I should best approach both questions?
Sorry for the long post, and i appreciate any wisdom!
We are also in the process of buying our own place - as an opportunity has come up -- and there is a 75-90 percent chance we may have to put our savings into the downpayment + renovations of this new place. That said, he knows that It would be extremely important to me that we make the engagement/marriage commitment soon. So, in my mind, I'm thinking that asking him to pay for an e-ring plus put in additional savings into the downpayment of the home is not reasonable, and I don't want him/us to be in much more debt at the beginning of this next part of our journey!
So as I have been thinking, I am considering asking him to just wait on the diamond --- we can always do that later in the future when he/we have saved enough money without breaking the bank --- and instead, ask him to "propose" with essentially would be the engagement ring, and then serve as the wedding band. I would be very happy with a diamond band which in researching, I think would cost significantly less than an investment in the e-ring --- probably almost 65-70 percent less.
My question is --- i know it is not really tradition, but is it ok for me to present this as an option? I think he would understand. I just dont want him to be stressed from a financial aspect (ie. I can't give her what she wants right now) and I don't want to be stressed b/c he can't make it happen now - and I really want to move forward with next steps of our life.
The second question is --- if he agrees, would I have to make sure the diamond band would go with the e-ring options that I am considering? THe band on Bluenile I"m looking at for the band is the Bella classic diamond band (in platinum, 13 stones) or the Classic floating diamond band (also in platiunum). I think either would look fine with the solitaire, but I Love the baguette setting, but think it would be too much. Again, who knows if my taste / style may change down the road, but does anyone have any guidance on how I should best approach both questions?
Sorry for the long post, and i appreciate any wisdom!