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A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ring..

sherpagirl

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2011
Messages
51
Hello! This is my first time posting a question, although I have often visited this site! My boyfriend of about 5 years and I have talked about getting married for the past year or so. We are both in our late-30's/early 40's --- would be the first marriage for both of us, we both just hadn't "found the one" until we met. In really doing research over the past 6 months, I think I have decided that if I had my choice, my e-ring would either be a 1) a 1.25-1.5 c round solitaire ; or 2) a 1.25-1.5 c round solitaire set with tapered baguettes on each side. I have both of these on my "wishlist" on Bluenile.

We are also in the process of buying our own place - as an opportunity has come up -- and there is a 75-90 percent chance we may have to put our savings into the downpayment + renovations of this new place. That said, he knows that It would be extremely important to me that we make the engagement/marriage commitment soon. So, in my mind, I'm thinking that asking him to pay for an e-ring plus put in additional savings into the downpayment of the home is not reasonable, and I don't want him/us to be in much more debt at the beginning of this next part of our journey!

So as I have been thinking, I am considering asking him to just wait on the diamond --- we can always do that later in the future when he/we have saved enough money without breaking the bank --- and instead, ask him to "propose" with essentially would be the engagement ring, and then serve as the wedding band. I would be very happy with a diamond band which in researching, I think would cost significantly less than an investment in the e-ring --- probably almost 65-70 percent less.

My question is --- i know it is not really tradition, but is it ok for me to present this as an option? I think he would understand. I just dont want him to be stressed from a financial aspect (ie. I can't give her what she wants right now) and I don't want to be stressed b/c he can't make it happen now - and I really want to move forward with next steps of our life.

The second question is --- if he agrees, would I have to make sure the diamond band would go with the e-ring options that I am considering? THe band on Bluenile I"m looking at for the band is the Bella classic diamond band (in platinum, 13 stones) or the Classic floating diamond band (also in platiunum). I think either would look fine with the solitaire, but I Love the baguette setting, but think it would be too much. Again, who knows if my taste / style may change down the road, but does anyone have any guidance on how I should best approach both questions?

Sorry for the long post, and i appreciate any wisdom!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

I think that it's a great idea to do it that way. Buying a house is expensive so personally I think it's better to put money towards that and get a diamond later on when the savings are built up again. To answer your second question, I'd go with what you like now. As you said, your taste might change so I wouldn't pick it out based on what your future ring might look like, just in case things change.
 

snoopkat

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 2, 2011
Messages
203
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

hey sherpagirl, i think your suggestion for BF to propose with a wedding band makes perfect sense (might give even more sentimental value to the wedding band :) ). My fiance and I also made the decision to buy our own place before we decided to get married and I'm so glad we did that. We didn't have to stress about saving up for a wedding when we were house hunting and 2 years down the track, we can plan the wedding with ease knowing that we can still afford to keep up with the mortgage repayments.

As for your 2nd question, I agree you should pick something that you like now rather than what might look good with the engagement ring you haven't yet bought. As you've said, your taste might change and you don't want to be restricted to the ring you picked out now simply because it matches your wedding band.
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

This is what my parents did. My mom said she wanted to put the engagement ring money towards buying a house, and asked that my dad buy her a ring when they had more financial security. Unfortunately, in 17 years of marriage my dad never bought her a ring, despite bringing home a very handsome salary. When my dad got remarried he bought his (now wife) 3ct Tiffany ring. My mom was really bitter about that and always told me, "make sure you get a ring, I always regretted not getting one."

So I would say that if that is your plan, set a hard date for when he needs to give you the ring, or else other expenses in life will pop up. And you don't want to end up bitter and resentful that you don't have your ring!
 

violet3

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
3,793
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

I think this is a great idea -- this is EXACTLY what my husband and i did when we got engaged for very similar reasons. I have never regretted the decision and i love my band. Mine is a full eternity, but it looks just like the bella in its setting. I think both the bella and the floating eternity would pair well with anything you choose in the future. For what it's worth, I often thought I would purchase a three stone sapphire ring to go with my band later on in life, but i love my band by itself so much i might not.

My only advice on what to get is this: it may be quite some time before you do get your traditional ring, so get something you love now. Also, i would get something of a substantial size for that same reason. You'll be wearing it every day, and even the larger ct band rings are a fraction of the price of a good quality solitaire/three stone ring.
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,201
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

Sounds like a very responsible and appropriate approach!
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

I think that is a very reasonable idea- expecially considering all the expenses you will encounter with the house, wedding, honeymoon, etc.

My thought is to get a diamond band of the color, size, and style you like NOW as who knows when you get your traditional solitaire Ering, if your tastes will change.

I also have to echo what Tuffyluv said to a point- sometimes when you say you will do something down the road- other expenses come up and it never happens. A coworker got married 6 years ago and when they did- they agreed not to spend the extra money on the diamond wedding band she wanted- and instead got a plain gold band BUT they agree for their 5 year anniversary that she would get the diamond band as a gift... well 6 years have come and gone- they purchased a house, changed jobs, had a baby- lift happens and she never got the band. Personally when proposing this idea to your SO I would say that you would rather be able to save over the next few years and set the date of your 5 year anniversary - 3 year- whatever-for the traditional diamond. That way you both can save here and there for a while with the set date in mind.
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,517
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

I think a band is a great idea...there are many AMAZING options out there for those. Have you seen the AVC and AVR bands made by www.goodoldgold.com??? I think that would be a great option for you...and something no one else will have seen before!


The round version
http://www.youtube.com/user/DiamondInfoMan#p/u/3/sKTw210zEHM

The cushion cut version
http://www.youtube.com/user/DiamondInfoMan#p/u/6/VZ6-SUphWY4

BTW: GOG is great to work with, have an amazing upgrade policy and all around a class act. Can't go wrong with them :love:

ETA: The best part is when your ready for an e-ring you've already got an awesome band or an amazing RHR! :love:

The ones you seen in the video (with that ctw) run I think 5-6k but you can get different sizes/color/clarity and different style band and the price can decrease a bit :)
 

CedarRapids

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2011
Messages
146
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

Hope guys can post on this forum! :wavey:

I think if you both agree on doing it how you described, it's a great idea. I'll add the following:

1. Create a ring fund to which he/you can do auto-deposits monthly. If it's a low-risk mutual fund or CD to which he/you can add as you go along, even better.

2. In addition to #1, maybe he can get a small diamond solitaire that you would like. You may choose to keep it for its symbolic meaning when you upgrade later or use the diamond for a future pendant, earring or something. Maybe something for a god daughter.

Cheers.
 

sherpagirl

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2011
Messages
51
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

Many many thanks to all of you who provided feedback and advice! I feel much better about this approach and never thought about setting an "anniversary date" in which the solitaire would be purchased --- allowing us to save more money and be smarter about the diamond-solitaire investment! And LOVE the AVC and AVR riings on goodolgold that someone posted! Has anyone seen this on someone's finger? I wonder how the two differ when it's actually on the finger?

I also appreciated everyone's advice about going with the style, quality and carat weight that I would want now, even though it's the band. And now I am excited to try bands -- as I had only tried e-rings up til this point! Does anyone have advice on what carat total weight might be good for me? I"m 5ft 4, have thin-normal fingers, a bit on the shorter side ...

Any other suggestions on diamond bands would be really appreciated!

I'll keep everyone posted! :D
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

CedarRapids|1315262109|3010265 said:
Hope guys can post on this forum! :wavey:

I think if you both agree on doing it how you described, it's a great idea. I'll add the following:

1. Create a ring fund to which he/you can do auto-deposits monthly. If it's a low-risk mutual fund or CD to which he/you can add as you go along, even better.

2. In addition to #1, maybe he can get a small diamond solitaire that you would like. You may choose to keep it for its symbolic meaning when you upgrade later or use the diamond for a future pendant, earring or something. Maybe something for a god daughter.

Cheers.

Totally agree wit number 1. I think if you both set a goal of putting away say- 100-150 a month for a ring fund then in 5 years you have a nice budget of 6,000 to 9,500 by your 5th anniversary--- or even do it for a three tear anniversary and put 150 a month away for 3 years-- and have 5,400. You get the idea :)
 

vintagelover229

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,517
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

sherpagirl|1315304888|3010566 said:
Many many thanks to all of you who provided feedback and advice! I feel much better about this approach and never thought about setting an "anniversary date" in which the solitaire would be purchased --- allowing us to save more money and be smarter about the diamond-solitaire investment! And LOVE the AVC and AVR riings on goodolgold that someone posted! Has anyone seen this on someone's finger? I wonder how the two differ when it's actually on the finger?

I also appreciated everyone's advice about going with the style, quality and carat weight that I would want now, even though it's the band. And now I am excited to try bands -- as I had only tried e-rings up til this point! Does anyone have advice on what carat total weight might be good for me? I"m 5ft 4, have thin-normal fingers, a bit on the shorter side ...

Any other suggestions on diamond bands would be really appreciated!

I'll keep everyone posted! :D

Whiteflash and BGD have some amazing 5 stone U prong bands.

http://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-bands/search.htm


But if it was ME personally I'd be ALL over those new bands made by GOG. The videos that you saw were the first 2 ever created...and if you check out the thread on them they are highly anticipated and sought after by PSers (not that we really matter but I like to think we have a great eye for unique and quality pieces)

Be sure to check the last page too because the first page is the AVC band and the last page has the AVR band as well as a yummy profile shot!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/avc-wedding-band.164755/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/avc-wedding-band.164755/[/URL]


Another option is to get a 3 stone. You can get it for a pretty reasonable amount, our very own Ms. Debby got one with a .69 center stone with 2 side stones. Here is the video
http://www.youtube.com/user/DiamondInfoMan#p/u/0/oM25kBVOfbo

BTW if you check out all of diamondinfomans videos (aka jonathan at GOG or Rhino here on PS) you can see a wide varity of styles/cuts/settings/etc. to help you get a better idea of what you want. He'll high def. video your stones for you, rings for you/etc so you can see all your options.

I have personally bought 2 stones from him (a cushette and an AVC) and I must say the AVC are amazing and out of this world. The rounds came out afterwards, otherwise I would have gotten an AVR. Alas, I sold my AVC for personal reason and now I'm priced out but someday...someday!
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,517
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

I think its a great idea. To tell you the truth I dont wear my e-ring that much anymore. Just my wedding band (5 stone diamond
band) when I'm out running around. The only time I usually wear my e-ring is when I am get dressed up (fancy dinner or
something).

I wonder if I had it to do all over if I would just skip an e-ring and go for a bigger 5 stone.
 

chiquitapet

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Messages
3,185
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

That's a great idea. It is quite similar to what my husband and I have done. He proposed without a ring, although when we were shopping for our wedding ring, I felt like we were shopping for our e-ring - and fortunately I didn't have to wait for it for too long as we got married in a month's time. And then, couple of years down the track when we were financially stable, I got a beautiful engagement ring.
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

Sounds like a great idea. Good for you to be making such prudent decisions together! :appl:
 

violet3

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
3,793
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

ID Jewelry has been used quite a bit on this site and many have said how nice they are to work with -- their pricing seems really reasonable as well compared with other vendors.

http://www.idjewelryonline.com/
 

sherpagirl

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2011
Messages
51
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

The AVR and AVC new wedding bands are so incredible. I am unfamiliar with this cut (?) -- and how would I go about inquiring with GOG about price, availability, quality, etc?

This makes me more excited about going straight to the band! :)

Thanks!
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Re: A bit of a non-traditional approach to e-ring/wedding ri

The video of the august vintage band is practically pornographic with that music--I am absolutely lusting over it!!!

Sherpagirl--I think your best bet would be to contact Good Old Gold through their website. Regarding the cuts, they are both cuts that you would not typically see in your standard jewelry store--I am certainly no expert, so please pardon if I use the wrong terminology. I am just trying to explain the broad strokes of what I understand about these cuts: august vintage is cut in the style of the old cushion cuts, but they are cut for optimum performance and light return. The old cushion cuts have bold, chunky flashes of light rather than needle-like light return. They also typically reflect more color because of this, so they pick up the color of the walls, your shirt, etc and show flashes of beautiful pastels. I think they are also cut to have better light return in low light. OMCs or old mine cuts are how round diamonds were cut before the precision of round brilliants. They also have larger, chunkier facets. I happen to absolutely love both of these cuts!
 
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