What is your favorite quality in a person?

[missy]

We all have deal breakers with our relationships whether they be friendships or romantic relationships. What is your least favorite quality in a person? And would this cause you to end the relationship?



Changing the thread title to favorite quality in a person. Easier to frame it this way.
So what is your most favorite quality in a person?

 

[missy]

There are so many great qualities that are important and it is hard for me to choose just one but since I am asking for one I have to choose loyalty. For me this is one of the most important in a true friend.That is a deal breaker for me in a relationship if said person is disloyal. And it is connected to trustworthiness so also an important deal breaker if you cannot trust that person.

What is your favorite quality in a friend/lover and do you have a deal breaker and if so what is it?

 

[MarionC]

The first thing that came to mind was kindness. Perhaps that encompasses some of the other attributes?
And I agree with disloyalty as a horrible soul killing get this person out of my life attribute. Without trust you have nothing.

 

[MamaBee]

I‘m thinking along the same lines @missy..Loyalty just about covers it all for me....It includes keeping things we discuss private...and having my back no matter what.
I had to come back to say lack of kindness after reading @Jimmianne ‘s post. Mean people are toxic and I don’t want those kinds of people in my life.

 

[missy]

The first thing that came to mind was kindness. Perhaps that encompasses some of the other attributes?
And I agree with disloyalty as a horrible soul killing get this person out of my life attribute. Without trust you have nothing.

It's challenging making the list because many qualities overlap and you are right. Kindness is so important so I am adding it to the poll! Thanks Jimmianne. XO.

 

[missy]

I‘m thinking along the same lines @missy..Loyalty just about covers it all for me....It includes keeping things we discuss private...and having my back no matter what.

Yes, I agree! The problem is these qualities tend to overlap and bleed into the other if you kwim. So a loyal friend is one who is trustworthy too. And one with whom you share respect and love and are honest with and all those good things. So I guess this is an artificial question in some ways but still fun to figure out if one has to choose which quality is the most critical for each of us. It's a tough selection because let's face it, they are all important. IMO.

 

[MarionC]

Yes, I agree! The problem is these qualities tend to overlap and bleed into the other if you kwim. So a loyal friend is one who is trustworthy too. And one with whom you share respect and love and are honest with and all those good things. So I guess this is an artificial question in some ways but still fun to figure out if one has to choose which quality is the most critical for each of us. It's a tough selection because let's face it, they are all important. IMO.

I was just thinking about trust a little more. I think perhaps you can dislike someone but still you trust them, so you respect them. Does that make sense? Or do I need more coffee.

Missy, you post good thought provoking questions.

 

[MamaBee]

@missy I guess lack of loyalty and kindness would be deal breakers. I can’t pick one. I wouldn’t want a friend to be loyal to me but mean to everyone else..I’ve actually had that and didn’t know because she was always sweet to me. I think she was just nice to my face but behind my back who knows what went on. That’s middle school stuff to me so I ended that fake friendship..

 

[MamaBee]

I was just thinking about trust a little more. I think perhaps you can dislike someone but still you trust them, so you respect them. Does that make sense? Or do I need more coffee.

Missy, you post good thought provoking questions.

No I get that @Jimmianne..

 

[missy]

I was just thinking about trust a little more. I think perhaps you can dislike someone but still you trust them, so you respect them. Does that make sense? Or do I need more coffee.

Missy, you post good thought provoking questions.

No I get that @Jimmianne..

I get that too. That's the truth. Definitely can respect others without becoming friends. We cannot like/love everyone and that is OK. Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we could respect everyone even if we didn't see eye to eye on all topics and didn't click in that way to become friends? But still respect and admire and trust said person? That would be ideal.

I also get what you wrote below Joanne and agree.

@missy I guess lack of loyalty and kindness would be deal breakers. I can’t pick one. I wouldn’t want a friend to be loyal to me but mean to everyone else..I’ve actually had that and didn’t know because she was always sweet to me. I think she was just nice to my face but behind my back who knows what went on. That’s middle school stuff to me so I ended that fake friendship..

I cannot be friends with someone who is mean to others either even if they are the sweetest to me. I do judge in that way and if someone is mean to someone else (without good reason that is) that is a deal breaker to me. I had a recent experience with someone who almost everyone thinks is a super sweet individual but she is not. It took a few years to see that side of her and she fooled me pretty good up to then. But turns out her sweetness is not real. I (and a few others) saw it firsthand. Does that mean she is a bad person? No. Just not someone I want to call my friend.

 

[MamaBee]

@missy @Jimmianne I had a neighbor in New Jersey that I didn’t like...She didn’t like me either. It was strange because she didn’t do anything to me and I didn’t do anything to her to make us feel that way. We each had a key to our houses....and would take care of each other’s trash and mail when we were on vacation. We would occasionally be out and ask each other if we needed anything at the store...but we weren’t friends. We wished each other the best when I moved and meant it. Sometimes people don’t like each other without a reason. We respected each other but weren’t friends.

 

[dk168]

Honesty is top of my list. Without honesty, I shan't be able to trust a person, which is my second most important quality in a person.

Good or bad, don't beat around the bush just give it to be straight up, I can take it.

DK

 

[House Cat]

I lump honesty, loyalty, and trustworthiness into one category. That is my favorite quality in a person. Next would be a sense of humor.

 

[missy]

I lump honesty, loyalty, and trustworthiness into one category. That is my favorite quality in a person. Next would be a sense of humor.

I do this too. These qualities are interconnected and interwined in a way that is artificial to separate them. I just did so for the purpose of the poll. And I agree these are the top qualities for me too in terms of importance and yup humor is right there too just below honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness.

 

[missy]

Honesty is top of my list. Without honesty, I shan't be able to trust a person, which is my second most important quality in a person.

Good or bad, don't beat around the bush just give it to be straight up, I can take it.

DK

Honesty is at the core of who someone is. If someone isn't honest and truthful I don't want to waste my time and energy on them. I learned a valuable lesson recently (in my old age lol) about someone I thought was honest and trustworthy and she turned out to be completely the opposite of that. It's OK. From every experience I learn valuable lessons despite my advanced age and I will never stop listening and hearing to what people show me. Eventually they will show you exactly who they are. :/

 

[YadaYadaYada]

My vote is for funny, this is assuming he isn't a lying cheating jerk of course.

Extra bonus points for a really dark sense of humor, the kind that can only be shared with an extremely trusted person because anyone else would think you were a psycho.

 

[arkieb1]

Loyalty and honesty I also put together and I also cannot separate those from kindness. I think kindness and basic decency is under rated in our society. Above all teach your children to be kind....

 

[rainydaze]

Strong character and integrity are must-haves and encompass most of those traits (1,2,3,4,5,8,11). Not having any one of them would be a deal-breaker for me, so they are all my favorite in that sense.

That said, I ended a relationship with someone who had strong character and integrity, where there was love, but the timing was off... and he was missing one thing, a great sense of humor. Or rather, a shared sense of humor. He was a wonderful person but we didn't laugh together a lot. Enter DH: all of that and tons of laughter. I love also that when I get my panties in a twist or we have a snit, he uses humor on me and it never fails to snap me/us out of it!!

So, all other traits existing because they must, I'd say sense of humor is my favorite! (7 and 10 naturally follow, and 6 having some that are different keeps it interesting, and having some the same gives us something to bond over.)

 

[Tekate]

Kindness, nothing more to say.. a friend who has always been kind to me - my friend Kc in Maine, she epitomizes what a true friend is. THERE for you.

 

[jaaron]

I think the most important quality is empathy. That if a person truly has that, they would almost automatically possess all of the qualities above, except maybe funny/fun to be around. While those two are very important to me in a spouse/life companion, I can definitely have friends who aren't funny and are more cerebral than fun.

 

[lyra]

I chose humour. I was not thinking of just romantic partners as such. I always like people around me who have a great sense of humour, because I use humour to deal with life, always have done.

 

[Austina]

I’ve said honesty, because I equate honesty with a lot of the other attributes, like loyalty and trustworthiness.

 

[redwood66]

Oh @missy I don't think I can choose because all of them are so important for a well rounded and fulfilling relationship.

 

[missy]

Oh @missy I don't think I can choose because all of them are so important for a well rounded and fulfilling relationship.

I know. I always hated multiple choice tests lol. It’s hard to choose just one. But if you had to...

 

[rainydaze]

Oh hmmm, reading everyone's response I realize I applied this to romantic involvements only. Responding to the real question, I would have to say honesty/trustworthiness. With kindness a very close second. Without those two things, the rest doesn't matter much because there's no foundation for me.

 

[missy]

Oh hmmm, reading everyone's response I realize I applied this to romantic involvements only. Responding to the real question, I would have to say honesty/trustworthiness. With kindness a very close second. Without those two things, the rest doesn't matter much because there's no foundation for me.

No I actually wrote this question in mind for all types of relationships. Friendships and romantic alike. I think I put that in my first or second post...

here you go:

We all have deal breakers with our relationships whether they be friendships or romantic relationships. What is your least favorite quality in a person? And would this cause you to end the relationship?

 

[doberman]

Honesty. I've seen loyalty twisted and turned into something that is definitely not good. Honesty is never wrong, provided you dont go around telling people their butt looks too big in those pants.

Although in this day and age it's a compliment.

Least favorite trait is obsessive compulsive behavior. It's worse if it's coupled with mania.

 

[rainydaze]

Yes I missed that the first time around @missy! I hadn't had my chocolate covered potato chips and homemade peanut butter cups yet!

 

[missy]

Yes I missed that the first time around @missy! I hadn't had my chocolate covered potato chips and homemade peanut butter cups yet!

Haha that thought is still making me hungry!

 

[stracci2000]

My vote is for funny, this is assuming he isn't a lying cheating jerk of course.

Extra bonus points for a really dark sense of humor, the kind that can only be shared with an extremely trusted person because anyone else would think you were a psycho.

Yes, this!
DH and I both have a kind of offbeat and weird sense of humor. I can say any 'off the wall' thing I want and he doesn't judge. If other people heard some of my comments, their ears would fall off!