shape
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strmrdr

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 1, 2003
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23,295
A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest. Every day, worker bees went to the fields, gathered pollen, and brought it back to make honey. The bees had a problem, though. Occasionally, an intruder came around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids who threw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it. They built an alarm system for the hive. A bee could pull a lever, which triggered the alarm. The bees could come back to protect their home. One bee was exclusively assigned that job. He was named the "Lever Bee." He had to be constantly on the alert. And that''s why people say, "I''m as ready as a Lever Bee."
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
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42,064
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justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
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2,308
I got it, I got it!
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dianne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
1,052
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn''t know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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dianne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
1,052

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.


The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.


The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.


A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.


She steps out of the car and asks the man what''s wrong.


"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."


The blonde says, "Don''t worry."


She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.


The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.


Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another ten feet, turns and waves,
hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"


The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.


It says…



(Are you ready for this?)

It says,


Hair Spray
Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.


Goofy...I know
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shel

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2006
Messages
141
One day Marty met a girl called Lorraine. They had a lot in common and she was very nice looking, he liked Lorraine.

Some days later, Marty was walking home from college and met a girl called Clearly. After much laughter about her funny name, given to her by her hippy parents in the 70''s, Marty and Clearly got on very well. Clearly, was bubbly, full of fun and very attractive.

Marty didn''t know his luck but had to make a choice in time for the Spring Dance. He decided to bring them both on one date and whoever he liked best he would escort to the dance.

He brought Clearly to the Funfair, and they had a great time on the Dodgems, and winning prizes at the tests of skill games. He really thought Clearly was the best - but he still had to date Lorraine who he had more in common with, and was in her own way as attractive as Clearly.

He brought Lorraine to the seaside and had a brilliant time, walking in the water. When suddenly they were both hit by a huge wave. Lorraine was swept out to sea, and under the water. Marty waited to see if there was any sign of Lorraine, to no avail.

Marty stood on the shore, when from one corner of his face a smile started to appear ... he then said to himself ...



I can see Clearly now. Lorraine has gone.
 
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