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2 Months Salary??

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BSHAW

BSHAW

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
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66
Hey I have a silly question but most sites state that the acceptable/expected spending on a E-ring is 2 months salary. But I am confused by this statement is that 2 months salary for the groom, or the bride and the groom if you have a shared salary? (I have lived with my girlfriend for 2 years so our money is somewhat shared, but I still assume it is grooms salary) Also if it is just the grooms actual paycheck income or the gross income for 2 months. I know that since I am asking it shows that I am trying to keep in my budget within the actual income but I was just curious if that means I am spending less than most. I originally thought I would be spending alot less than that, but after looking at rings I realized that I would be spending more than expected but I was just curious what is the norm for most people. I figured since I was confused by these numbers there may be others that have the same question.

Thanks in advance,
 
that rule is nothing but marketing. get what you can afford.
 
BSHAW, actually that is an old wives' tale that has been distorted as it was passed down. The real rule is "2 MOTHS" salary, and since moths make very little the sum is greatly exaggerated.

Spend what you want to.
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Date: 12/5/2005 11:16:30 AM
Author: JohnQuixote
BSHAW, actually that is an old wives'' tale that has been distorted as it was passed down. The real rule is ''2 MOTHS'' salary, and since moths make very little the sum is greatly exaggerated.

Spend what you want to.
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lmao..
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....that is too funny...lol...
 
I''d agree with the ''spend what you can afford''. Seeing that your money is shared already, spending more than you can afford just mean that ''you'' (plural) will be in debt!!
 
Do a search for "ave*rage co*st" without the asterisks and you''ll find a bunch of threads with polls and statistics. Seems to me most people stay on the "practical" side of the 2 months myth, which I always assumed was for the man''s salary. Never knew if they meant pre-tax or post-tax though.
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Date: 12/5/2005 11:16:30 AM
Author: JohnQuixote
BSHAW, actually that is an old wives'' tale that has been distorted as it was passed down. The real rule is ''2 MOTHS'' salary, and since moths make very little the sum is greatly exaggerated.

Spend what you want to.
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My girlfriend always told me it was 12 months'' salary.
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That''s wonderful! How does she plan to pay for it?
 
What ever the "2 month salary" expression is supposed to be, to me it is a sort of guideline. I guess 2 months symbolizes a price range that presumably you can affort but will be a definitely pricey purchase in most cases. Its like a rule of thumb but it doesn't mean you have to follow it by any means. Some people have a lot of debt and priorities and cannot afford to spend even 2 months of income. For others, they can spend more than 2 months income if that is something they want and think they can get away with (by the expected salary or profits later in the future)

My fiance has NO income, ZERO. (he is still a student) But that doesn't mean that he gets away with getting me NO ring.
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I am actually spending more than "2 months salary" but that is my choice based on what I know my girlfriend likes and what I will be proud of. My advice, talk to her without giving it away and you''ll get a feel for what is important to her. Then you can make a choice for yourself.
good luck
Mike
 
Its funny as I grappled with this question too not more then a month ago........is that pretax? As a Canadian the difference is fairly significant :) In the end I spend 2 months after tax money BUT educating myself here and doing my research I have easily purchased a diamond that is worth as much as 3 months pretax retail. Set yourself a budget and then seek the best diamond you can find at that price, the fact that you found this place will almost guarantee you a diamond of much greater value than you could have done elsewhere. Good luck.
 
thats ridiculous. I haven''t graduated or have my teaching job yet, so if thats the case then Im breaking the rule by, um, 3 MONTHS!!! Money has never been an issue with me. If I go in debt a litlle then fine- its just money I''ll always get another paycheck next week. This is your future wife we''re talking about! You dont come cheap when it comes to things like this. Sure its symbol and it should be what you can afford, but whats wrong with a BIG symbol hahaha.
 
I''d never heard of the "2 months" thing when I lived in Britain, I always thought it was one month''s salary and that was more wishful thinking on the part of de Beers than it was actual reality for men buying rings.

When I moved to America and we got engaged here, I don''t think I could have spent that much and felt comfortable about it. I suggested a budget, which my husband immediately doubled. It was still not a month''s salary.

It depends on what the salary is, and how much both of you think is the right amount to spend.

Some couples start off very modestly with the understanding that they will upgrade later. Others want to keep their original e-ring forever and therefore spend more on it in the knowledge that it''s the only one she''ll ever have.

If you are OK with the idea of upgrades, and have a limited budget right now, you could get a larger diamond and a plain setting, then get a fancier setting in future. Or you could get an amazing setting to start with, and then get a bigger diamond for it later.

Whatever you decide to spend, I think everyone on this board would agree that it''s best to save up first rather than put something this expensive on a credit card or a store plan.
 

Thank you all for your info. I actually already decided on the ring (and the price) but I was very curious about others price ranges while I was looking. I had originally planned on spending around $2500 (amount I had saved) but when shopping I realized that this was way short of what my girlfriend was hoping for, and didn''t buy what I thought it could. I ended up in the 3 month salary range ($6500 OUCH!)which does put me in more debt than I had hoped but she is worth every penny. I was a little nervous about the amount but after reading all these threads I feel much better about it. She has put up with 5 years of dating me with no engagement (to her Spanish family''s disappointment) and I think the amount of time spent together should tweak the 2 month salary rule somewhat. I am very happy with the ring I have chosen and it is being set and sized now so when I get it back I will post pictures.


Thanks again for all the info,
 
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I think my husband spent two week''s salary on my ring. I love it all the same and don''t think of my ring as a mirror reflection of my husband''s bank account.

The diamond I have "spoke" to him and that was that.
 
is that two months net or gross salary? my husband asked me........i told him it was gross salary!

peace, movie zombie
 
Date: 12/5/2005 12:56:14 PM
Author: Daniel B
thats ridiculous. I haven''t graduated or have my teaching job yet, so if thats the case then Im breaking the rule by, um, 3 MONTHS!!! Money has never been an issue with me. If I go in debt a litlle then fine- its just money I''ll always get another paycheck next week. This is your future wife we''re talking about! You dont come cheap when it comes to things like this. Sure its symbol and it should be what you can afford, but whats wrong with a BIG symbol hahaha.
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There is no right and wrong amount, and it is always about her and what will make her happy...............but this is the place to ask such questions. I did my research and search not to save money but to get the very best I could find for what I was able to spend regardless of the amount. I don''t know that she will ever fully understand that her diamond can''t even be compared to the quality she will see at the mall merchants but I will always know, and that means a lot to me than price. The point is finding a diamond that mean as much to me to give her as it will be for her to receive. What it actually costs is imaterial.
 
Date: 12/5/2005 1:03:05 PM
Author: movie zombie
is that two months net or gross salary? my husband asked me........i told him it was gross salary!

peace, movie zombie
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I like the way you think!
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Debeers promotes it differently in different countries:

As said by cinnabar it is 1 months salary in the UK


It is 2 months salary in the USA

and they promote it as 3 months salary in Japan
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I have always read that it should be Gross salary. It would be the Grooms salary only I would think.
 
I also think many folks, esp younger couples, spend what they can, even if it''s a few hundred, with the idea that when they get older and more financially stable they will upgrade. No shame in that!
 
I realized one thing - this is the he said she said conflict:

She says - "Doesn't he love me enough to spend the extra $$$ and go outside of his comfort zone to do something that will make me happy for my whole life." Whats the extra$$?

He says - "Doesn't she love me and will just love anything I give her solely because it comes form me and symbolizes my desire to marry her?" Why is the size and $$ so important?
 
Date: 12/5/2005 3:47:27 PM
Author: Kaleidoscopic
She says - ''Doesn''t he love me enough to spend the extra $$$ and go outside of his comfort zone to do something that will make me happy for my whole life.'' Whats the extra$$?

He says - ''Doesn''t she love me and will just love anything I give her solely because it comes form me and symbolizes my desire to marry her?'' Why is the size and $$ so important?
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Nutshell = captured. I think it''s why more and more couples are discussing this upfront & airing out both sides before making a decision. I''m a little older (38) but I know A LOT of ladies that have contributed either $ or otherwise to get the ring they want. Maybe it''s just me but would ya really want a "starter" ring at 35+? Especially if there''s financial parity or it swings a little toward the woman''s income. (which is also more & more common amongst my 30+ pals).
 
Date: 12/5/2005 12:13:43 PM
Author: Kaleidoscopic
What ever the ''2 month salary'' expression is supposed to be, to me it is a sort of guideline. I guess 2 months symbolizes a price range that presumably you can affort but will be a definitely pricey purchase in most cases. Its like a rule of thumb but it doesn''t mean you have to follow it by any means. Some people have a lot of debt and priorities and cannot afford to spend even 2 months of income. For others, they can spend more than 2 months income if that is something they want and think they can get away with (by the expected salary or profits later in the future)

My fiance has NO income, ZERO. (he is still a student) But that doesn''t mean that he gets away with getting me NO ring.
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Wow, Kaleidoscopic! You''re one lucky girl to have such a resourceful fiance! No income and a gorgeous ring like yours? I''m jealous.
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Green with envy...

That said, BSHAW, definitely spend what you can afford. I hope I don''t offend anyone by saying this, but I read somewhere that many newlywed couples begin their married lives in debt because of all the wedding costs. So it''s really a decision that''s up to you as to how much you can and want to spend on the ring.
 
I guess with the two of us so institutionalized, we just don''t see money the same way as others do. I have huge loans for law school, he has huge loans for medical school. Once you have such a grand total, what''s a little bit more.
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Cinderella,

I guess with the two of us so institutionalized, we just don't see money the same way as others do (well at least I dont). I have huge loans for law school, he has huge loans for medical school. Once you have such a grand total, what's a little bit more.
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He was initially set at $3,00-$5,000 because that was the average cost of e-rings from his circle of friends. But form my circle of friends and culture, you had to add an extra 10,000-20,000 to those digits. I like to think that the nice ring I got is him going out of his comfort zone to make me happy. I do have to admit that I didn't not expect having a ring THIS GOOD.
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Kaleidescopic,
I''m glad I don''t run in your circle, that kind of pressure would drive me crazy!
Congrats on your engagement and beautiful ring!
 
Date: 12/5/2005 8:16:31 PM
Author: Kaleidoscopic
Cinderella,

I guess with the two of us so institutionalized, we just don''t see money the same way as others do (well at least I dont). I have huge loans for law school, he has huge loans for medical school. Once you have such a grand total, what''s a little bit more.
9.gif



He was initially set at $3,00-$5,000 because that was the average cost of e-rings from his circle of friends. But form my circle of friends and culture, you had to add an extra 10,000-20,000 to those digits. I like to think that the nice ring I got is him going out of his comfort zone to make me happy. I do have to admit that I didn''t not expect having a ring THIS GOOD.
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Okay, I want to run your circles now....maybe my SO will get into the same mindset....
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Yep, the 2-month rule is crap! Everyone is at different life stages and rings can be upgraded, as we've seen on this board. My boyfriend is an MD/PhD student so he only makes a modest salary, but he's using some money from an inheritance toward the ring. Without that money, we would probably be getting a 1/2 carat solitare on a plain white gold band, and I'd love it because it came from my future husband.

Since you guys already share money, maybe you can discuss with her what she thinks is appropriate to spend.
 
I agree with peonygirl,

Sharing to purchase the e-ring is a good idea. I was considering doing that myself when the time would come (it just came a lot quicker than expected), especially if you don''t mind her picking out the ring with you. Granted its not as romantic
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but its definately worth doing if you want something particular.
 
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