2 engagement rings??

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 12/18/2007 9:41:09 PM
Author: nobody

Oh, just to be clear, Its not losing the ring with insurance/no insurance that Im to worried about, its her safety and emotional/physical stress that may be caused that got me thinking of the second ring. Plus, isnt the ring/diamond suppose to be a symbol of love/union which can not be replaced by insurance.

Of course it is a symbol of your love. I know I (and I doubt anyone) wasn''t trying to lesson the meaning by saying insurance will replace it. I mentioned it b/c there are ALWAYS going to be things to worry about. Even though I would be heartbroken if I HAD to replace my ering (due to theft or damage) it wouldn''t be the end of the world. I refuse to live my life in fear. Really my MARRIAGE is what means the most to me. In the end the diamond is really just a diamond. If you think your FI would be distressed and scared to wear a 1.25 and would prefer a smaller ring than I don''t understand why you asked the question if you already has the answer. Only you know what is right for the two of you.

 

[nobody]

Date: 12/18/2007 10:20:47 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 12/18/2007 9:41:09 PM
Author: nobody

Oh, just to be clear, Its not losing the ring with insurance/no insurance that Im to worried about, its her safety and emotional/physical stress that may be caused that got me thinking of the second ring. Plus, isnt the ring/diamond suppose to be a symbol of love/union which can not be replaced by insurance.

Of course it is a symbol of your love. I know I (and I doubt anyone) wasn't trying to lesson the meaning by saying insurance will replace it. I mentioned it b/c there are ALWAYS going to be things to worry about. Even though I would be heartbroken if I HAD to replace my ering (due to theft or damage) it wouldn't be the end of the world. I refuse to live my life in fear. Really my MARRIAGE is what means the most to me. In the end the diamond is really just a diamond. If you think your FI would be distressed and scared to wear a 1.25 and would prefer a smaller ring than I don't understand why you asked the question if you already has the answer. Only you know what is right for the two of you.

Points taken.

She wont be distressed or scared, even in instances where she legitmately should be, sometimes she just doesnt notice things when she should.

I am the one that is being distressed/scared.

I wouldnt mind and rather prefer to get her just a small diamond ring, But I dont know any woman out there that would prefer a smaller diamond ring.

My question wasnt "What size diamond ring I should get?", It was asking what you all thought about getting her 2 engagement rings.

 

[peridot83]

This is a sweet sentiment, but I say not to worry about such a thing, and stick with one ring for the following reasons:

1. The main reason being, the whole point of an engagemeent ring for me is to show everyone...you''re engaged. Whichever ring she shows to the world, to work, while shopping etc., will become her enagement ring. The other ring will become the ring for special events/occassions.

2. Further, if my BF did this for me, I''d feel guilty if I didn''t use both rings frequently or often. Which would be impossible, because I assume she uses the subway most days.

3. I''d feel strange having 2 engagement rings to explain to everyone, yes you did see me with a beautiful 1.2 carat diamond yesterday, oh why do I have another one? Because....

4. I would lose rings, if i was constantly switching back and forth between the two (but now we''re talking about personal quirks)

However, if you are going to get two rings, I''d want one that didn''t resemble my engagement ring AT all ...i don''t know why but i''d just feel better about. I wouldn''t have to explain why I have two similar rings, I can justify it as something to wear to match clothing or seasons etc.

So either:
1. Get another band. I think you underestimate how many bands a girl can need! Also, she can wear them together, or on different hands, etc. and use them all the time. I think there was one PSer who had something like 13 stackable bands. You can get ones w/ gemstones, diamonds, eternity, micropave etc.

2. Another option would be to get a gemstone ring, emerald, sapphire etc. Again, doesn''t look like a traditional e-ring, can wear it for different occasions etc.

 

[Gypsy]

I know you have the best of intentions. I REALLY DO.

But if I thought for a second that my fiance purchased a little place holder because he doubted my judgement I would be livid.

Again, I KNOW your intentions are good... but this:

"She wont be distressed or scared, even in instances where she legitmately should be, sometimes she just doesnt notice things when she should. "

Is flat out condescending and would just anger me. And dissapoint me greatly.

I don''t think you should get her anything other than the 1.25. Then you can discuss your concerns with her, and let her judgement and input influence a mutually acceptable solution.

 

[Po10472]

Firstly, if you''re going to get mugged, you''re going to get mugged, regardless of your carat size. Muggers are not biased. Forget about the 2 ring thing and just get her the 1.25ct. I know you are worried about her but she''s a grown woman and can make decisions for herself. I was in NY a few weeks ago and saw 2/3/4 carat diamonds on some of the women in the subway so its obvious to me that they weren''t worried about flashing their wares. I think you have to be realistic and make decisions based on what she would prefer and give her the option to decide what to do in situations above and, get the ring insured. whatever you decide, good luck and remember to post lots of pics after you''ve proposed.

 

[spike13]

I''m surprised so many folks say not to get the 2nd ring. Who wouldn''t want options to match outfits? There''s a lot of times when a larger ring would be a pain. Lots of women I work with don''t wear their rings everyday because they get in the way.

I''m so of biased though, because I was actually thinking along the same lines as this gentlemen. I do a lot of active things like ride dirt bikes and live in a major city. I was also mugged when I was very young - 14. It was probably one of the most traumatizing events in my life.

I''d say, you know your wife to be the best, and go with what your heart tells you. I''d let her pick the settings though!

You can never be too thoughtful. Given how many folks upgrade or reset their rings, I don''t think having more than one lessens the sentiment at all. If anything your thoughtfulness wins out.

Of course, you could also give her the larger one and then ask her if she wants a smaller one so it would be her decision.

 

[orbaya]

I personally think you should present her with the 1.25ct, and give her the option to have the smaller one for commuting, etc. She can tell you if she feels safe wearing the larger one all the time or not. Also, if you get her two rings, she might feel obligated to wear the smaller one more when she could prefer to wear the larger one. So give her the larger diamond and tell her your idea of getting a smaller one too and see what she wants.

Good luck!

 

[mirre]

I agree with most posts on here. I do think turning it into her palm would be easiest on days she does wear it. But IF you really would like for her to have 2 rings one for everyday I would only present her with one engagement ring then tell her when you do that you''d like her to have a 2nd ring to be able to wear for day-to-day activities if she chooses and you''d like her input on it. That ways if she would rather have a band she can get the band and stack it with her ering and wedding ring or she can get a smaller diamond in the same setting, or she could even get a CZ if that''s what she wanted. If her fingers are the same size on each hand she may choose to get something completely different and wear it on the right hand on days she wears the 1.25ct on the left.

I say do what you feel like you should do, but personally I would rather my BF give me ONE ering and then voice his concerns and offer me the choice of what "daily" ring to get. Who knows, once you find out it may turn out that she would have rather had a fun little detailed band to wear in it''s place and not a diamond.

Good luck! Can''t wait to see this 1.25ct in it''s setting... and the placeholder if you opt for it.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 12/19/2007 1:17:57 AM
Author: Gypsy
I know you have the best of intentions. I REALLY DO.

But if I thought for a second that my fiance purchased a little place holder because he doubted my judgement I would be livid.

Again, I KNOW your intentions are good... but this:

''She wont be distressed or scared, even in instances where she legitmately should be, sometimes she just doesnt notice things when she should. ''

Is flat out condescending and would just anger me. And dissapoint me greatly.

I don''t think you should get her anything other than the 1.25. Then you can discuss your concerns with her, and let her judgement and input influence a mutually acceptable solution.

I TOTALLY agree with Gypsy on this - I also felt that the way that you referred to her judgment was condescending. I hope this doesn''t come off the wrong way, but honestly, I''m assuming that your girlfriend is a grown woman who managed to survive to adulthood and take care of herself without your constant supervision, so I''m quite sure that she is able to make that decision on her own.

And just a piece of advise - when you are telling her abouyt your idea for the second ring, don''t phrase it to her the way you put it to us, unless you''re prepared to get the lecture of your life on her abilities of self sufficience.

I''m sure that you''re a great guy, but I think that the tone you took would really annoy her, even if you totally didn''t mean it that way.

 

[ursulawrite]

As someone who lives in NYC and wears a 1.3 carat solitaire on a daily basis, I''d say that you have zilch to worry about. Nobody on the subway casts a second glance at my ring.

Maybe you could have a smaller diamond set as a pendant or something?

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/18/2007 3:20:58 AM
Author:nobody
I dont know if its proper or if its okay to do so, but I was pondering on getting my 'future to be' 2 engagement rings. Frist one, would be the main ring, at approx. 1.25CT and the second one at approx. .30CT-.50CT.

Reason for this, mainly for safety and peace of mind. We live in a big metropolitan city which isnt to bad on crime. But her being small in stature and taking public transportation (subway) to and from work everyday, I wouldnt feel safe for her wearing a 1.25CT stone which she would likely do everyday. Wearing such a big (for her size) sparkly ring, is just asking for trouble. Its not that she would fight and not give up the ring, after all a ring could be replaced, but to save her from grief and emotional/physical stress.

She could wear the 1.25 on special occasions and the .30-.50 everyday, and on very special occasions she could wear the big one on the left hand and the small one on the right hand. What do you all think?

I know women. I am a woman. That .30-.50 for everyday will NEVER get worn. EVER. She's not gonna go to work without her bigger diamond. It's not happening. Save your money.

Better yet, put that extra cash into the best ring you can get for that full amount you planned on spending.

 

[dtnyc]

I agree w/ most of the other posters. I wonder how frequently the smaller solitaire would be worn. If all you really want to give her is a smaller solitaire then go for it- it''s ultimately your choice!

I lived in Manhattan for 6 yrs and frequently saw rings of 2, 3, 4+ carats on public transportation everyday. Also there were lots of women out there wearing nice sized diamond studs as well.

I now live in a smaller (but less safe) E. Coast city & wear my e-ring w/ 2+ carat stone & another 1ct in side stones, plus a 1.6 tcw eternity band) almost everyday. I would say that my ring is definitely on the larger side that what''s around me, but I can''t say it ever makes me feel unsafe.

If I don''t wear my e-ring I wear 3 bands together (eternity, plain plat. and scattered diamond bands) because I like the stacked look.

 

[Angel7]

Do you have a picture you can share of this beautiful ring that started this "mugging" topic!

Sorry, I want to see some pretty bling!

 

[baby monster]

I understand that you are very protective but unless she takes the train very late it''s unnecessary to be so worried. Get some pepper spray for her purse just in case. I''m on the subway every day and see diamonds, furs and expensive purses. Some women turn their rings and others don''t but that is an option. IMHO, a diamond band ring (5 stone, pave, eternity, etc)instead of another solitaire is much better for everyday wear and will not be as flashy.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 12/18/2007 10:20:47 PM
My question wasnt 'What size diamond ring I should get?', It was asking what you all thought about getting her 2 engagement rings.

I think most people DID answer this question.[/quote]

 

[grapegravity]

I wear my 1.20 ct engagement ring everyday and I take the bus/c-train to go to work daily... I live at a midsize city (Calgary) and I don''t think anyone will notice my ring since a lot of ladies around me on the transit also wears their 1 ct+ ring ( I have seen a few amazing 2ct ring on the train

) However, I do aware that there is ppl looking at my ring as it''s pretty sparkly under the light (or they are just like me - a jewelry freak

) but I have not encounter any unpleasant experience during my daily work route (other than been alone with a lady in a confined elevato, who grabbed my hand and comment how pretty my ring is)

Personally, I rather have just one nice, decent enegagement ring than two...

Just my 2 cent...

 

[mrssalvo]

if you give her 2 rings, my guess is she will not wear the second smaller one after having the bigger one. 1.25 is a nice size, but it''s not a huge attention getting size, even on a small girl. I''m 5''3, wear a 3.5 ring size and wore a 1.2 for the first 6 years of my marriage and no one ever really even commented on my ring. it just didn''t really stand out, and i live in the south, so no real giant rings here. also, if your in a big city, my guess is even larger rings are the norm. She has a better chance of getting mugged for her purse than a ring. pawn shop resale on jewelry is pennies and i highly doubt a mugger is going to make a scene on the subway and try to get her ring off. I think it''s sweet your worried about her and want to be protective, but she''d be better off just wearing a plain band on the subway than a second smaller solitaire IMO, put the $ towards a nice pendant or something.

 

[Casecracker]

I can how see this will work:


Hmmm....which shall I wear today....

 

[Casecracker]

or.....

 

[Lynn B]

Haha, LOL, Casecracker!

BTW, where''d that second ring come from, do you know? That''s right up my alley for a RHR!!! Thanks!

Lynn

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

i have two rings! i have my 1.06 asscher/sq em with the halo and i also have a plain .33 rb solitaire, my tetris diamond, that i wear when i go to work now. it has given me a lot of peace of mind and i think its a great idea!

 

[Haven]

I agree with the majority here that you would be wise to purchase only one ring. You can always ask her if she''d like the second ring, and if she says yes you two could have a great time picking it out.

I live in Chicago and I wear my 2 ct cushion all the time, and frankly in a big city 2 cts looks pretty small. Also, if I were to have a second e-ring, I''d prefer an eternity band or something that doesn''t look like a traditional e-ring.

Good luck, and kudos for thinking ahead.

 

[vslover]

I don''t want to offend at all, but I''m a small woman and wear a 1.77 carat ring every day and it doesn''t look huge. People notice it...but it''s certainly not so "out there" that I feel unsafe. KWIM?

 

[Casecracker]

Date: 12/19/2007 7:24:11 PM
Author: Lynn B
Haha, LOL, Casecracker!

BTW, where''d that second ring come from, do you know? That''s right up my alley for a RHR!!! Thanks!


Lynn

I just searched "tiny diamond ring" in google. I don''t know where it''s from but a friend of my actually has a wedding band that looks like that.

 

[bee*]

Date: 12/19/2007 11:00:20 PM
Author: vslover
I don''t want to offend at all, but I''m a small woman and wear a 1.77 carat ring every day and it doesn''t look huge. People notice it...but it''s certainly not so ''out there'' that I feel unsafe. KWIM?

I''d agree with you. I wear a 1.23ct and in Dublin, where I live, most people seem to have .9ct and under and I''ve never felt unsafe wearing my ring. It''s a nice size, but it''s not huge. I wouldn''t waste money on a second diamond either. If my bf had bought me the one I have and a smaller one, I would never wear the smaller one. The 1.23ct is just a nice size,big enough without being flashy or showoffy.