Along the wedding (NO!) gift thread, have you ever attended a ca$h bar wedding???

[Dancing Fire]

I have. I personally would never have one. I don't like the idea of throwing a party and asking your guest to pay. I am the midst of planning my second wedding and it will be an open, full bar.

..Am I invited?

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Haha same for Jewish gatherings. I swear my mom cooks enough for a small army even if it is just the 12 of us. No one leaves hungry and no one leaves empty handed. Leftovers are yummy so I don't mind her cooking up a storm.

It would be a sin (according to my family) if one didn't have enough food and drink for their guests ergo one must have way more than enough just in case...

...maybe my mother had Jewish ancestry!

 

[TooPatient]

I was appalled to see people suggesting ways to do a wedding for 100 on a small budget. That was fine and it can be done in the budget they want if they are careful. The ideas suggested were seriously awful though! I couldn't keep reading at the point they had gotten to using a local park, making it potluck, and skipping a cake in favor of a cookie table (also provided by the guests). The other leading suggestion was to ask guests to provide services or pay for services, cash bar, donations for honeymoon, and meal provided by guests.

 

[missy]

...maybe my mother had Jewish ancestry!

It's possible. My dh and I did the 23 and Me Ancestry kit and my dh is .1% Ashkenazi. LOL I don't think his mom will like that.

 

[missy]

I have. I personally would never have one. I don't like the idea of throwing a party and asking your guest to pay. I am the midst of planning my second wedding and it will be an open, full bar.

Congratulations Tacori! I am so happy for you and your DD.

 

[elizat]

I was appalled to see people suggesting ways to do a wedding for 100 on a small budget. That was fine and it can be done in the budget they want if they are careful. The ideas suggested were seriously awful though! I couldn't keep reading at the point they had gotten to using a local park, making it potluck, and skipping a cake in favor of a cookie table (also provided by the guests). The other leading suggestion was to ask guests to provide services or pay for services, cash bar, donations for honeymoon, and meal provided by guests.

A lot of this is regional. I grew up in rural NW Pennsylvania. It was actually really common that people would have a "fire hall wedding." You would rent out the local firehall, and it was usually potluck or food cooked by the bride's family. I can remember my aunt's wedding when I was a kid. It was potluck plus my grandma and mom making meatballs, vegetable trays, crock pot beef for sandwiches, etc.

People also used the VFW or the American Legion and did the same thing. Very regional and a lot of people probably find it really odd, but it wasn't there- and I think probably is still pretty normal considering the options in those rural areas.

When my mom got married the second time when I was 12 or 13, she had it a hotel in a small town in the Pennsylvania/NY border. Her side of the family thought a wedding with a buffet at a hotel with a semi open bar was weird. To the rest of the country, maybe not, but it wasn't the norm there.

 

[telephone89]

I hate cash bars ugh. Even if there is only hosted beer and wine, serve what you can afford, but dont make your guests pull out their wallet!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

A lot of this is regional. I grew up in rural NW Pennsylvania. It was actually really common that people would have a "fire hall wedding." You would rent out the local firehall, and it was usually potluck or food cooked by the bride's family. I can remember my aunt's wedding when I was a kid. It was potluck plus my grandma and mom making meatballs, vegetable trays, crock pot beef for sandwiches, etc.

People also used the VFW or the American Legion and did the same thing. Very regional and a lot of people probably find it really odd, but it wasn't there- and I think probably is still pretty normal considering the options in those rural areas.

When my mom got married the second time when I was 12 or 13, she had it a hotel in a small town in the Pennsylvania/NY border. Her side of the family thought a wedding with a buffet at a hotel with a semi open bar was weird. To the rest of the country, maybe not, but it wasn't the norm there.

the firehall wedding sounds wounderful and tradional and it sounds loads of fun
and i bet the food the aunties cooked was just as tasty as any fancy hotel fair

 

[lydial]

On the line of regional variation and alcohol: it is commonplace in very northern New England for wedding receptions to be b.y.o.b. I was the only person who brought Champagne to my first nephew’s very elegant - but very rural - wedding (2 bottles, figuring it was to share, people looked at me like I was planning to get hammered! But it was all consumed by the relatives) Being from the Mid-Atlantic I was shocked by this cultural variation at his wedding. The other oddity was the number of people who showed up really late for the reception and didn’t attend the ceremony at all. They skipped the formal stuff and showed up to drink (a bunch of beer brought in mini coolers) and dance. We have another nephew getting married soon and it is actually printed on the invitation, bring your own liquor! I am trying to figure out whether to pack it or try to buy up there. And the wedding party was pretty hammered for the first wedding so it wasn’t like they are very uptight....

 

[Tekate]

I don't think a person wants 'endless' beer, a wedding is a celebration and a party, my son did have endless beer and wine and prosecco and 2 signature drinks and no one was drunk - (well except his MIL's idiotic boyfriend), I have 1 31 year old son now and 1 who's 27 and most times they are reasonable with alcohol, altho #2 son is much better than his bro.

(and I paid for all the alcohol of which we had tons left over btw).

I think there is nothing wrong with a cash bar, we had very nice champagne & wine (& soft drink of course) served with our wedding reception - if you wanted endless beer or fancy cocktails you had to purchase it yourself. Lordy, can you imagine how much a room full of twenty-somethings would have run up on an open-bar-tab?

 

[Dancing Fire]

I think at least 30 people got drunk at our DD's wedding banquet.

 

[Scandinavian]

I think the question of an open bar is very different for people who may or may not afford to have one. Personally, I would never have allowed guests to pay for anything, nor want them to bring cash-gifts. I would rather have had a much smaller event. But I do know some people who have had “dinner and wine is free, but the bar is not” weddings. But then the idea is that you don’t need drinks, you can choose wine. (I will not mention the one where only tap water and blueberry juice was available, regardless of money, and DH tried to bribe the staff for a cola zero lol) I would not get offended by a cash-bar if I knew that they could not afford it. (And the information was given in the invitation) But perhaps a little annoyed if the were just being ...
But the cultural differences are so interesting! Here, cash gifts would actually be a little bit offensive, like you could not be bothered to go to the store and buy something lol. But then again, we didn’t do a “here is my list of things I want” either. (People have started doing that maybe the last 10 years but it depends on background) My father would have had a heart attack. Then again, he did pay for the wedding. And that is not common here. Oh. And I live in Scandinavia, if you didn’t know .

 

[Tartansparkles]

A cash bar would be the norm here (Scotland). Typically you would get a drink on arrival at the reception to fill the time when photos are taken. There would probably be two bottles of wine on the table, one red, one white followed by a drink of your choice for the toast/speaches. Any other drinks you'd have to pay for yourself. Of course there are variations but mostly people would expect to pay for their drinks.

That said, we were married in my mum's living room where all drinks were provided followed by a BBQ in the back garden. It was a humanist wedding (legal here) and although it was conducted at home the celebrant was very strict about alcohol during the service - all drinks had to be removed from said living room (and she was being deadly serious).

(We also specifically told people no presents and defo no cash. But people don't like turning up empty handed so there ended up being lots of homebaking)

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

A cash bar would be the norm here (Scotland). Typically you would get a drink on arrival at the reception to fill the time when photos are taken. There would probably be two bottles of wine on the table, one red, one white followed by a drink of your choice for the toast/speaches. Any other drinks you'd have to pay for yourself. Of course there are variations but mostly people would expect to pay for their drinks.

That said, we were married in my mum's living room where all drinks were provided followed by a BBQ in the back garden. It was a humanist wedding (legal here) and although it was conducted at home the celebrant was very strict about alcohol during the service - all drinks had to be removed from said living room (and she was being deadly serious).

(We also specifically told people no presents and defo no cash. But people don't like turning up empty handed so there ended up being lots of homebaking)

your wedding sounds awsome !

 

[Tartansparkles]

[QUOTEyour wedding sounds awsome !][/QUOTE]

Thank you Daisys, it was! We got married on the 17th anniversary of our first date, our two kids (then 6 and said funny poems instead of readings and we didn't have or exchange wedding rings, we literally tied a knot instead.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

[QUOTEyour wedding sounds awsome !]

Thank you Daisys, it was! We got married on the 17th anniversary of our first date, our two kids (then 6 and said funny poems instead of readings and we didn't have or exchange wedding rings, we literally tied a knot instead.[/QUOTE]
it sounds unconditionally perfect !