New earrings (grief shopping)

[diamondseeker2006]

So very sad for your family, @whitewave. Jewelry can be a good distraction when there is pain or sadness...healthier than meds, at least to me. Hugs!

And....to @Mamabean and @Luce, my goodness your stories are so tragic, too. I am very sorry. But thank you both for the reminders to enjoy what we have and to say "I love you" often.

So sorry for you too Mamabean. I too use my good china, wear my good jewelry with my sweats and most of all tell all family and friends how much I love them. Life is short and precious.

 

[peacechick]

The earrings are beautiful! I love dangly ones too and I hope they will fit well and not be too heavy.

 

[whitewave]

Thanks, everyone. I’m reading, and hope to do personal replies tomorrow. The funeral is this week.

I do hope the earrings aren’t too heavy, and that I can wear them for 6-8 hours once or twice a year.

I agree that BIL’s death is a reminder that you can’t take it with you, so you might as well enjoy things now. (And life of course)

 

[Dandi]

I'm so very sorry for your loss whitewave. So very, very sad. The earrings are amazing, and I hope they bring you some happiness and distraction at such an awful time.

 

[caf]

So sorry for your loss. That just sucks.

 

[DiaDiva]

@whitewave - others have expressed it better but I still want to give you a big virtual hug.

I always tell my friends that everyday is that special day. No need to wait for that important occasion to wear whatever you want to wear or eat or enjoy.

Take care of yourself and SIL.

 

[suzanne2]

Oh Whitewave, I am so sorry for your loss. As the one who is left behind, you are strong and can hold this burden. You have shown grace and strength. I know you will be the rock that your SIL needs.
The pain will slowly ease, but until then each day is a struggle. Hugs. And more hugs. We all wish we could be there with you.
So wear those earrings! They are stunning!

 

[ac117]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family can find peace with time.

Your earrings are beautiful, I hope you enjoy them.

 

[MamaBee]

So very sad for your family, @whitewave. Jewelry can be a good distraction when there is pain or sadness...healthier than meds, at least to me. Hugs!

And....to @Mamabean and @Luce, my goodness your stories are so tragic, too. I am very sorry. But thank you both for the reminders to enjoy what we have and to say "I love you" often.

Thank you diamondseeker2006..

 

[Catmom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It must be so sad for you and your family. I really love the earrings you picked and can't wait to see them on your ears. I love dangly earring the most.

 

[KaeKae]

I am very sorry to hear the news about your brother in law.


The earrings are beautiful.

 

[Vera W]

Heartfelt condolences @whitewave Peace be with you and your family.

 

[tlfiore]

@whitewave you know I care about you a whole lot! You are a special gal and I'm heartbroken for you, your husband and of course, your BIL's wife, his children...everyone...the entire group of people left behind.

And my thoughts and heart are with everyone else who posted about their losses. It is an impossible situation that can never be reconciled.

@whitewave I've had some dark times and you know I've worked in the Neurology-Psychiatry field for decades. I still cannot imagine the pain one must experience to decide the only solution is to take their own life...cannot imagine it.

You are correct that your BIL chose a permanent solution to incomprehensible emotional anguish and pain. Sadly, suicide is a permanent solution to what is likely temporary pain (except in the cases of end-of-life choice with terminal illness). It's sad but no, he wasn't being selfish...he saw no other way out.

It's normal to feel "how did we get here, why this choice?" I KNOW what a loving, close, kind, compassionate family you all are. My heart breaks for your SIL and those young children.

Stay strong and please never blame yourself...ever. Please let him know none of this is his fault...no way. People make choices and some folks see suicide as their only choice.

I will have all of you in my heart tomorrow.

And you know I love your new earrings! They'll look gorgeous on you. And if the stud is too small for your earring holes (I doubt they will be), an accomplished jeweler can always replace the posts with larger ones...it's any easy fix.

 

[Blingalingaling]

So sorry for your pain and loss, for your SIL and your family's, as well. It's heartbreaking to hear what you and others here have gone through. I hope that, over time, the pain will lessen and be replaced by good memories and hope for the future.
In the meantime, enjoy all the goodness in life-the ones you love and who love you and all that life has to offer, including wearing some cherished items that bring you joy. I'm sorry you had to spend your birthday as you did, but may your birthdays from here on be truly happy, full of light and love. <3

 

[whitewave]

Thanks, everyone. Ten people lined up to give eulogies, including a professional NFL player and a professional wrestler

Through their stories, it sounded like “tears of a clown”...a big, beautiful man with boundless love and energy who held everyone else up and got everyone else through their hard day but didn’t ask for help himself.

My earrings arrive tomorrow I think and I will start a new thread. I appreciate everyone’s comments love and thoughts and I don’t have it in me to do individual replies. Please forgive me.

 

[doberman]

The earrings are beautiful, but I'm sorry for the loss of your BIL. What a shock it must have been. Hopefully your family will be able to help the widow with the children he left behind.

 

[Diamond425]

I am so sorry for all of your losses. My heart goes out to all of you. I know I haven’t been as active on the forum as some. And I don’t know any of you other than reading your post but my heart truly hurts for all of you. Again I am truly sorry and hate that you have suffered a tragic loss.

 

[whitewave]

I am so sorry for all of your losses. My heart goes out to all of you. I know I haven’t been as active on the forum as some. And I don’t know any of you other than reading your post but my heart truly hurts for all of you. Again I am truly sorry and hate that you have suffered a tragic loss.

Thank you. The aftermath is complex and frustrating. We are all a bit lost and we’re only 13 days in this journey. It’s awful.

 

[KirstLWA]

I’m so sad to hear of your loss @whitewave unfortunately way too many of us are touched by it. So difficult to understand but also so sad that someone feels that’s the only way out. A difficult time for everyone so please accept my virtual hug!!

Can’t wait to see those babies in your ears!!

 

[Tekate]

@whitewave If I may I will chime in to also add my true and sincere condolences and support to you and your family. Suicide to me is a lack of all hope and happiness and the person is looking for peace. I wish for your BIL peace. For your SIL I wish complete peace in her heart and try to to take any blame. I will say, at 65 I have only known 3 people who have died by suicide and to me all of them could have been averted had they just talked to someone, but I do not know for sure what was in their minds. The one kid I knew back in '75 had gotten married 6 weeks earlier and his little sister found him at his parents home when she got home from middle school, his family still asks why. I send you love.

Just added: I love the earrings, they are just beautiful!!!

 

[whitewave]

@KirstLWA @Tekate
Thank you