I feel hopeless...can anyone help?

[kathio22]

Hi all! My fiance and I were engaged in November. I have yet to make wedding plans, not even engagement pictures. We can''t afford much because we are paying for the wedding and honeymoon ourselves. I am very down about the whole thing at this point. I don''t even know where to begin for wedding plans because everything seems so expensive. I want a nice non-denominational ceremony with a nice intimate reception. I live in South NJ, and there isn''t much around.

Would a 50 person wedding being cutting it too small? My finace has A LOT of family but we simply can not afford to invite them. I am so worried about offending everyone by not inviting them...

So many issues here...

 

[heart prongs]

Why not have a small, elegant destination wedding, one that you can combine with a honeymoon after. There are some lovely spots up in Maine, NH and Vermont that might be perfect, especially if you plan in the off-peak months. Lots of weddings lately are intimate affairs w/ just close family and friends invited, don't feel bad about it. And if you do go away for the wedding, it makes sense to cut down on the guest list. Weddings are stressful when it comes to $$, do whatever you can do to minimize that stress. Good luck to you and try to enjoy the engagement...kl

 

[sumi]

My whole wedding was less than $500 and it was so beautiful. I have to preface this by saying that I didn't even want a wedding, my husband and I wanted to elope. However, our parents were a little sad about missing out on seeing us get married, so we compromised and had a small wedding instead. We only invited immediate family memebers, only parents and siblings (about 10 people total). We felt that this way, there wouldn't be random uncles, aunts, cousins who would feel left out.

We had the wedding in my sister's backyard. She has a beautiful backyard with bamboo and lots of flowers. We didn't have to buy too many flowers because the garden flowers were blooming beautifully already. We did go to the LA Flower Mart (wholesale flower district) and buy a bunch of flowers to supplement what was already in the garden. I think we got over 10 dozen flowers for something like $100. We bought tulips, orchids, iris, and Japanese chrysanthemum (it's a huge flower that looks nothing like the regular chrysanthemums) and a bunch of other flower that really I don't remember. We also went to a party supply store and bought some cheesey paper wedding bells (those were must-haves! I loved it!) and other decorations.

Everyone attending the wedding helped to decorate the garden on the morning of the big day. This was so fun. Everyone helped out and contributed in their own way. It actually turned in to a bit of a bonding moment for us.

What I'm trying to say is, you can still throw a fabulous wedding on a small budget. My wedding day turned out so much better than I imagined. I was really against the whole idea of even having a wedding, but in the end I'm so happy that we had our tiny wedding. Just use your imagination and I'm sure you'll come up with something wonderful. In the end, the most important part of the day is that you are getting married. Don't let the small stuff get in the way, and don't think you HAVE to do this or that to have a wonderful wedding.

 

[kathio22]

Thank you so very much. Your story sounds wonderful!! I have a beautiful engagement ring, and although it is not as big as other family and friends, it is still amazing (1.76 ct total). I think that because I have such a wonderful ring that everyone is assuming a large wedding. I am looking forward to something intimate, thanks so very much for sharing!!

Kathi

 

[glitterata]

We went to City Hall with my best friend and my (now) brother-in-law; then the four of us had lunch at the restaurant where we had our first date. We had a big party two months later, but since it wasn't a wedding per se, it was much less expensive than it might have been.

When my mother and stepfather got married, they just had close friends and family over to their apartment. A friend of my mom's--a really lovely lady, a judge--married them.

Whatever you do, however little you spend, it's still your wedding day. It has all the romance and thrill when you say "I do," no matter where you say them, no matter what you're wearing, and no matter how little money you spent on the flowers.

 

[Nicrez]

50 people is more than we would have. We are thinking of a small wedding with 30 people (maybe on an island). I don't want to spend a lot either, so we considered this to be a nice way of having our family and friends to just give us the gift of their presence.

You could easily get married in a nice setting, try public parks in DC and NJ, or something, and as for a reception....my friend is having a luncheon for her engagement for 60 people and it's costing her $2,100! Have a morning wedding on an off day, and see if a nice restaurant can accomodate.

If you want really simple, ask a friend with a nice home, or see if you can get those magazines that offer weddings on a budget for your area. Bridal sales about so an inexpensive dress is just a search away as well!!! Good luck and congrats!!!