Long Engagements

[fieryred33143]

I actually know someone who refers to her boyfriend as her 'partner' to signify that they have a more important relationship than just 'boyfriend' (this always struck me as a little weird but whatever floats your boat!)

I call my fiance my partner IRL. I don't like the fiance term at all. I feel so silly every time I say it. There's too much going on in our lives to call him my boyfriend so I call him my partner.

We have been engaged for 2+ years. It was not my intention to be engaged for so long but things came up and life happened. I suppose I could run to the courthouse and make it official so that others don't judge but that's not what *we* want so we will get married when everything we have to do gets done.

 

[bee*]

We were engaged for 20 months, the main reason being is that our venue was booked up until then. Even though we booked it so far our, we could still only get a Thursday, due to a cancellation. The time flew by anyway and it allowed us to save and pay off things as we went ahead. In Ireland, longer engagements are more common than in the US so our timescale was about normal over here. I haven't known any couples to break off their engagement so I think that couples that do break if off due to a longer engagement probably weren't that compatible in the first place.

 

[HappyNewLife]

I will be engaged until CA gets their head out of their asses and allows same-sex couples to marry again. Until then, I could be in a long engagement

 

[should i be here]

Haha, HappyNewLife, I hope you won't be a LIW for long!

 

[yssie]

I will be engaged until CA gets their head out of their asses and allows same-sex couples to marry again. Until then, I could be in a long engagement

DH's uncle and his partner just got married last weekend! In CT.
Any chance of flying out?

 

[4ever]

I will be engaged until CA gets their head out of their asses and allows same-sex couples to marry again. Until then, I could be in a long engagement

I think it wont be too long untill people look back and say "Wow I can't belive same sex couples wern't alowed to get married". I felt like that when I first learnt it was once illigal for interracial couples to get married in some places, and even that wasn't THAT long ago. The world is crazy but people will come to their sences eventually.

 

[Pandora II]

DH and I got engaged on Christmas Eve 2006 and married 26th July 2008.

We wanted a summer wedding and booked the date within 3 weeks of our engagement but venues fill up a year in advance and we were lucky to get the date we did. Also BIL was getting married out in the US - we're in the UK - and so everyone was having to pay flights, hotels etc and since they had been engaged a lot longer than we had it seemed more sensible to wait till the following year.

Also, we had been living together for nearly 2 years when we got engaged (I moved in 3 months after we met) so it wasn't as if things would be logistically different after the wedding. We did put off trying for a baby though - given I was nearly 36 when we got married I wouldn't have wanted to leave it much longer.

Some of my relatives made a huge song and dance over how long my engagement was. Then my aunt (the worst offender) - her son got engaged and they would have had a 2 year engagement if they hadn't got lucky with a cancellation at the venue they wanted (ended up being 15 months anyway) so she shut up pretty fast.

 

[FrekeChild]

Hehe, this is NYC I'm talking about though - I read that the most popular wedding seasons are spring and fall. Summer might be too hot for people, and no one wants guests to be huddled around shivering in January, which leaves only a few comfortable months. And since it is the city, there aren't that many venues while there are a zillion brides. COMPETITION.

I would consider prolonging the engagement if the venue I wanted was booked, etc. Not in a rush to be a married woman! Engaged is just fine with me.

Yeah, it's cold in NYC in January. So? Have an amazing (likely cheaper) winter wedding indoors. My wedding was in January, now granted it was Vegas, but I was really worried that my guests would be cold. Well, they'd be cold whether they were at my wedding or at home, so what difference did it make?

It ended up being 60 degrees the entire time we were there. All that worry for nothing!

Now if you want an outdoor wedding, that's a different story. But you either move location or deal with paying inflated prices for "wedding season".

But keep in mind that vendors offer discounts during the "off season" (read: November-March) and you can get vendors you may not be able to afford or may not be available during the "wedding season".

Our engagement was just over a year. Our "courtship" (if you will) was 2.5 years. My dad was shocked when I told him we wanted to get married a year later--he and my mom decided to get married (there was no ring and no "engagement" for them) and they were married a year from when they started dating.

My SIL has been engaged for almost 2 years and they were dating 5 years before that. At this point I have no idea IF they will get married. I imagine that NOT getting married for a long time after getting engaged would be very hard emotionally if one party really wanted to get married and the other didn't--which is what she's going through right now.

To each their own.

 

[NCSUchick27]

SO and I are planning on an engagement that is between 6 to 12 months. It depends on when the engagement happens and when we are able to book a date.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I am currently at the 17 month mark of my engagement. About 14 more months to go. We knew when we got engaged, the date we wanted to get married. The reasons for waiting that long aren't legit anymore due to unforseen circumstances, but we like the date and are sticking to it. There are no worries thus far. I didn't agree to marry him with the expectation we'd be married in a certain time frame. I love my fiance and we are already comitted to one another for life.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I will be engaged until CA gets their head out of their asses and allows same-sex couples to marry again. Until then, I could be in a long engagement

My sister is in that situation too. They have a civil union so that they can have the benefits that come with it, but they still consider themselves engaged and have no date set. I am sure they are waiting for the day they can get married.

I hope it is not too long!!!

 

[Haven]

I am looking into the US Virgin Islands because the plane ride is not ridiculous, the weather is roughly the same year round, and it does not require passports (most of my family does not have them). It is a little expensive compared to Mexico but I like it a lot better. I have browsed St. Thomas where I went on vacation back in August. A place called Bolongo Bay is where I stayed and it was very small establishment but personal. Definitely no frills but they were the nicest staff I have ever met. To me that makes all the difference. Another website that I found is for St. John which has the most beautiful beach I have ever seen, and that was http://www.usviwedding.com/ which focuses on the ceremony. Some of the hotels (like Caneel Bay) offer a wedding planner that accommodates you for both ceremony/reception. Once I get engaged I will dive head first into contacting these people more thoroughly (I feel weird doing it now).

St. John is the most beautiful place I have ever visited. EVER! I highly recommend it, and I think a wedding on St. John would be amazing. (To be totally honest--I think St. Thomas is pretty scuzzy, especially in comparison to St. John.)

As for the original question:
I think the individuals have much more to do with whether their weddings (and marriages) succeed than does the length of the engagement. If someone is going to become obsessed with weddings to the point that it ruins her relationship, I'm thinking it wasn't destined for success, anyway.

DH and I had a 10 month engagement. It was right for us. He proposed in September, I'm a teacher, so we wanted to marry and honeymoon during the summer, which we did.

 

[kateydid05]

Haven, I liked where we were in St. Thomas (it was very private and not gross at all...it was away from all the other main areas) but we did a day trip to Trunk Bay in St. John and fell in LOVE with it! Crystal white sand, ocean water that was a color I did not even know existed...it was breathtaking!! I would love to be married on those beaches. Comparing both islands I would go back to St. John just to snorkel at that beautiful beach. I just want something all-inclusive for my guests so I have to research to find out what resorts on St. John offer that or something close to it. Where did you stay in St. John?

 

[Haven]

Kateydid--We stayed at the Westin Resort, which was beautiful. It wasn't an all-inclusive, though. I'm sure some of the St. Thomas resorts are amazing, it was just a huge letdown to us that the non-resort areas were pretty scummy. As an island, St. John is really, truly beautiful.