You guys are like my long lost sisters!

[jesterjigger]

I feel like such the typical girl wanting to get married, and try so hard not to nag, this forum is the perfect place to blow off some steam it seems. My bf and I are both in the military. We''ve been dating for almost a year and a half, and managed to make it through him being deployed for 8 months to Iraq without hardly a hitch. We were good friends for a year prior to starting to date (and I had a huge crush on him for that entire year). We''re moving to Korea in June, and I''d really like to get engaged before that, when we''re here with our friends and family

(we live in NJ, family is in PA and OH), because it seems like EVERYONE wants us to get hitched. My parents, and everyone we work with. We went on a cruise soon after he got back from being deployed and everyone thought he was going to propose on the cruise. Not to mention everyone asks us when we''re going to get married all the time.

He wants to get engaged a couple of months after we get to Korea

. We looked at rings a bit three weeks ago and we''ve had a couple of serious marriage talks. Then another one last night. We''re going to go look at rings tomorrow I think, because he wants to buy the ring in the states, and the store we looked at previously is having a big sale April 29th, and he said that he wants to get a good idea of what I want.

I just feel like bf isn''t a good enough term for what we are, but there''s nothing in between. Especially when we get to our new base where no one knows us. I feel like getting engaged there will be kind of meh in their eyes

whereas everyone here has known us for three years and would be really excited about it...I want to share that with them.

I think it''s a lot worse to wait once you''ve started talking about it, before we talked about it I wasn''t really expecting anything. now, I just want to get engaged.

And I ALWAYS have to bring it up. (The three times it''s happened) Which I HATE

because I don''t want him to feel like I''m pressuring, but he always tells me how glad he is that we''re talking about it. Last night he said that if we''d had that conversation back in January we''d be engaged by now

. I just don''t understand why I have to make all the first moves. He''s sweet and perfect and everything I''ve ever wanted, and I just want people to know that we''re really in it for the long haul. That he''s that special to me and that I''m that special to him...without having to get to know us first.

Anyway, that''s my vent. It''s very nice to have found you ladies, I''ve read a few posts and this seems like a great place to visit. I hope everyone has a happy easter!

 

[XChick03]

First of all, welcome to PS! I''ve found this place to be one of best places for advice ever and the members are always so friendly and helpful. And its the perfect place to vent.

If I was you, I would want to wait. Getting engaged is such a happy and exciting time, and its definitely something you want to share with friends and family. Not to mention showing your ring off to everyone. My fiance and I had several marriage talks and we both decided to wait to get engaged. Six months later we were and it was perfect.

And with every guy you have to make the first step in bring up the M word. My fiance was so ready to get engaged for the longest time, but I always had to bring it up. It''s just a guy thing.

 

[Blenheim]

Welcome to PS!

 

[sunkist]

Welcome to PS and LIW, Jester!

You''ve come to the right place for advice, support, and diamond rings

I hope you find the ring you love and that the engagement comes soon. I know how those marriage talks can just make you want to be engaged right now! But to the guy it means you''re planning to wait to get engaged.. How silly... Anyways join in the fun!

 

[Mandarine]

Welcome!!!!

This is like a sisterhood!!! hahaha....

Pretty scary how addicted you can become to this site though!!!. I''ll go first: Hi, My name is Mandarine and I''m a PS addict!

Hope your stay is fun and short!

M~

 

[ilovesparkles]

Welcome Jesterjigger

.

Hahaha Mandarine. Hello my name is ilovesparkles and I''m a PS addict.

 

[JenStone]

Hi Jester!

When I read what you wrote I just had to reply....because I''m Korean! My recommendation is that you get married BEFORE you move to Korea, because the wedding culture there is a lot different. Most weddings are held in wedding halls - they have HUGE venues specifically for weddings, some of them nice, some of them downright gaudy/tacky - there are usually several weddings going on at a given time, and all of them are so rushed! You can always opt to get married in a church, but I heard that it can be difficult to go that route unless you''ve been a member of the church for some time.

In addition, Korean women are TINY. Now, I don''t know what size you are but I wear a size 4. Whenever I go back, I feel like a fat cow next to everyone and people constantly tell me that I need to lose weight. The one complaint I hear the most from foreigners is that they can never find nice clothes that fit. In addition, most Koreans rent their wedding dresses - can you imagine trying to get a wedding gown? Also, the wedding dress styles/trends are a lot more different there too.

I don''t mean to say bad things about my country and culture - it''s a great place and I love it there. But those are just minor nuisances about Korea that I thought you should know about... (also it''s a good point to make to your boyfriend when you''re trying to convince him to get married sooner

)

Good luck!

 

[jesterjigger]

Thanks for the welcome everyone. We''re going to jeweler''s row in Philly and two stores in NJ today. Last night right before bed I asked him if he was sure he wanted to go ring shopping today. He said yes, he was sure, did I not want to anymore? And I told him that I wanted to, but if we did and nothing happened for six months I was going to be really testy. He just chuckled and said he knew and not to worry. So we''ll see...

 

[sk8rjen]

Chiming in late, but WELCOME to PS! This is a great place to be, and I''m guessing you can stay in touch with us once you''re in Korea, right? Hope your undergrad stay here is short

My name is Sk8rjen and I am a PS addict.

 

[meepcat]

I''m going to be that annoying sister, quick to seek truth and responsibility. PS has so many nice and fuzzy people, already.

 

[ello]

Welcome Home!!! It''s very difficult to wait and dream and wait but the end result will be magical. I wish for only good things for you - hopefully it will be sooner than you think...could he be planning a secret?

 

[moon river]

Welcome to PS!! You''ll find alot of good advice and alot of shoulders to lean on here.

 

[akw94]

Jester, welcome to PS!

It makes a lot of sense that you''d want to be engaged here, while around friends and family. I also think it''s worse to wait once you''ve started talking about it. Before, I wasn''t expecting or even thinking about it all the time. NOW, it''s so hard not to talk about it, bring it up, take some sort of action... I empathize with you! That''s good that he''s being supportive and hopefully he will come around. Has he said why he wants to wait until after you move?
Good luck!

 

[jesterjigger]

I don''t think he had a reason for waiting until after we got to Korea. It''s just kind of what came to him. I think he just wants to wait until things settle down a little (four of our friends are deploying/have deployed) but I''d like to be able to say that we''re engaged as soon as we get to Korea, so that everyone knows how serious it is without having to get to know us first. He seems to have changed his mind to before Korea now though. Of course, he wants to talk to my parents first...who knows when that''ll be. And he isn''t planning on talking to his parents until he sees them in person, which will be the weekend of May 7th (but I''ll be there too) or the weekend of May 20th (which is just one week before I want to leave the base and go back to Ohio for a week). So there isn''t a whole lot of time, especially if he needs to talk to his parents before actually proposing. Sigh.

And then there''s do I really want to be engaged for two whole years? Since right now he''s opposed to the idea of doing any planning from Korea, which would be necessary in order to make it happen within a few months after Korea and around 1.3 years of engagement...

 

[akw94]

Well, at least w/the long engagement, you''ll have lots of time to plan! Even though you may not do official planning over there, you can still have ideas and make tentative decisions.
That''s good that he changed his mind about waiting until you get there! It will be soon then. You just have to remain patient a bit longer. How exciting!