Wedding yet another Thank You Note question

[violet02]

So this is more about my friend then myself... I''ve personally been sending notes out as I get the gifts, I was under the impression that notes should go out up to two weeks after receipt of gift (etiquette experts correct me if I''m wrong). I send them out a couple of days later so I don''t forget. After the wedding I want to include a photo... but then I''ll miss all those before wedding folks so I came up with this idea to send out a postcard to all guests with a photos saying thanks for coming! Anyways I threajacked my own thread!

So I have this friend who got married last October. It was her 2nd marriage and a big fancy wedding, her first was also a big fancy wedding. Her and her new hubby got all of the gifts they registered for and then some! They have wealthy famiilies etc. Anyways it''s been almost a year and no thank you notes. I have politely mentioned to this to them and her hubby (a good friend of mine) claims they have up until one year after the wedding to send out notes. They''ve been planning to but never seem to have the time. Now personally I was a bit annoyed that I didn''t get a thank you note. I got one for every other wedding I went to! I know they''re busy and keep meaning to but I''m wondering if their other guests are annoyed too. It seems kind of rude to me. Particularly for those folks that went to BOTH weddings! Now this is their business of course but I was just curious if you were one of the guests would you blow it off or be bothered by it? I''m over it at this point since I know them but still...

 

[rockzilla]

I am still waiting for a thank you note from a wedding last October...

Maybe 1 year is the "rule" but I have trouble believing that you''ll suddenly "find the time" 362 days after the wedding...

 

[Haven]

One year is not the "rule". Thank you notes should go out as soon as possible after you receive the gifts. Your friends seem to be the victims of bad information. I would be upset, too.

The "one year" rule about gifts is a myth, too. It is in poor taste to send a wedding gift a year after the event.

 

[neatfreak]

They really should have sent them out long ago. They need to be sent out ASAP after the wedding and I don''t care how busy you are, a year is much much too long.

 

[CJ2008]

Thank you notes make the most impact when they are sent out soon after the gift is received. It''s like the thank you loses a little bit of impact as each day goes by.

I didn''t receive a thank you from a friend for the wedding gift and the baby shower gift. Both of those gifts were very generous - I come from a family where we give generous gifts, regardless of how much we spent to get to a wedding, where the wedding is held, etc.; plus I grew up in NY, where gifts for weddings tend to be generous, and in cash - anyway, I digress. It doesn''t really matter that the gift was generous - even if they weren''t, she should have sent out thank you notes. Same with my husband''s cousin''s wedding in PR - for which my DH had to take time off for work, etc. - no thank you.

It is now a rule in my NEWLY created family of 3 (me, my DH and cat hehe) that we will no longer give gifts to anybody who doesn''t acknowledge them. This is Haven''s rule, it makes sense, so I''ve adopted it.

 

[jackieomy]

I say send them within a few weeks of the gift. Then, the gift giver knows you received it!
The one-year rule is definitely a myth.

I was really good about keeping up with thank you notes as we received gifts before the wedding. Although we talked about writing ty notes during the honeymoon (ya, right!), we ended up finishing up the last notes about a month after our wedding.

Wow, does it feel good to have that not hanging over our heads!

We will be sending out a photo postcard to thank everyone from coming -- we took a group shot of everyone at the wedding for this purpose!

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 8/23/2008 3:49:02 PM
Author: jackieomy
I say send them within a few weeks of the gift. Then, the gift giver knows you received it!
The one-year rule is definitely a myth.

I was really good about keeping up with thank you notes as we received gifts before the wedding. Although we talked about writing ty notes during the honeymoon (ya, right!), we ended up finishing up the last notes about a month after our wedding.

Wow, does it feel good to have that not hanging over our heads!

We will be sending out a photo postcard to thank everyone from coming -- we took a group shot of everyone at the wedding for this purpose!

hahah we did the same thing - did NOT happen.

 

[Pandora II]

A year is wayyyyyyy too long.

I''m still writing mine - but all our gifts arrived at the wedding or straight after so I couldn''t do any in advance.

Our friends are getting a thank-you card, but my parents friends and our relatives are getting a good three pages each so it''s taking me hours and hours.

Plus I have to make half of them different as all my aunts and uncles will read each others....

 

[CJ2008]

Just felt I should mention that even though it is the NICER better thing to write the thank you cards right away, I would still prefer to get one that was LATE, than none at all. In both cases I mentioned above, a few months had passed before I started to feel/realize "guess we're not getting a thank you card!"

I also think that you need to be extra diligent when items are shipped to you and the giver has no idea whether you received the item. I would take care of those first before the ones were people KNOW I received the gift.

Pandora - your friends and relatives are going to be so touched to get a thank you letter...

 

[violet02]

I think that his one year rule was his way of excusing how lame they were in getting them out. I think though after TWO weddings for her she''d be more prompt due to the double gifting she got from people... i really like getting thank you notes, makes me feel appreciated and I like to give gifts more than receive when I can share in their joy somehow, thats if they dont hate it.