shape
carat
color
clarity

Yesterday cancer took our Melanie

I'm just hearing of this now. My heart is heavy. In times like these words are wind and a colder comfort. It is all I can offer other than to send my wish of peace to you. I am so sorry. Strength to you and yours, sweet Daisy.
 
@Daisys and Diamonds -- I am so sorry for your and your whole family's loss -- you are all in my thoughts and prayers -- doing things by rote, taking a minute to breath, taking longer for crying and not-crying, feeling the hard loss because she was so beloved, feeling glad that you loved her so and she knew it ... knowing you and Gary are there for each other always.
 
sorry, i just need someone to talk to

Gary's daughter finally succumbed to breast cancer yesterday
she had beaten it once before and had been given the 5 year all clear
but it came back in her spine, then her liver
she was doing ok
she was on her 5th and final public health system funded round of chemo, it had spread to her lungs

she had been doing so well, keeping it at bay, working, being a mum, being worried about her dad

she came to visit with her brother for Gary's birthday in August
she sent us this big meat pack a few weeks back worring how we were doing
we sent her flowers for her birthday at the end of September, at that stage her prognosis wasn't great, weeks or months if we were lucky but she was optimistic as once before the cancer had disapaired from her lungs
she gave up work and work gifted her her company car
Dylon took unpaid leave from work

then last week she sounded breathless on the phone
she went to hospital for a few days but they didn't have oxygen for her to take home which we all think was total BS and they must just be stock piling it for covid

then on Monday she went into the hospice, just to get her breathing right (they had plenty of oxygen for her to take a unit home)
we saw her on tuesday as we were in Wellington for Gary's eye appointment at Wgtn hospital so we were staying right accross the road and by some miricle 600m from the hospice
She looked so tired, her eyes were very sunken in kind of like darling Tibby looked when we had to take him to the vet on the way to rainbow bridge
Mel was sitting up in a chair, falling asleep momentarily as she had slept baddly for days because of her breathing trouble

she hands were red and sore looking
but she was talking and making conversation sure she would go home on friday

Wednesday we had Gary's apoinment and Mel's hubbie Dylon spent the day with her and brought the kids in (14 & 10)
We knew she'd be tired so we stayed away
Thursday we were on our way home and called in to see her as we left town

they wern't going to let us in because she wasn't up to visitors
Gary had to say this might be the last time he sees his daugter

we were quick, we exchanged i loves yous, her hands were so cold

we knew things were now very bad
as we were driving away Gary's son rang to say to get in their quick as she wasn't expected to last out the day
Gary explained we had just left her so we knew
it was dreadful, he was talking on the phone and driving and crying

As we drove into Porirua 20min latter he started crying at the thought of driving away from here


we got home and waited
(Her brother) Aaron rang latter that night to say Kaleb and little Kiera had been in and she had purked up at seeing them
they were all staying the night with her in the hospice accommodation

we sat at home and waited
i texted work to say i had better stay home on friday

the next morning we had toast for breakfast and waited
Aaron rang just before lunch to say she was gone
Poor Gary
and also her poor Hubbie, her kids, her own mum

i dont know what to do to help Gary, he's ok most of the time
i make cups of tea and serve food
yesterday after his nana nap he woke up crying
today i feel alot more tearful, like its really sinking in she's gone

she was certainly at least as close to me as my sister (but a lot more freindly)

there is no one to visit us here, just the two of us and Borris and Fluffa Duffa who are giving their daddy love

i wish my mum was here because she'd know what to do
she would have had the good cups and saucers out

yesterday i forgot to brush my teeth even though i had unpacked the toothpaste
today i did a load of towels

i just did the grocery delivery order 3 days early so we could have some snacky things for Gary

Gary rang to tell his sister and brothers after he had heard but we havn't heard from anyone today

maybe he should call his ex wife ? (they have no ill feeling towards each other but we only see them at Christmas or the grandkids birthdays)

i guess ill just wait to see what tomorrow brings

its a long weekend here

Hugs and a moment of pause for the loss of a loved one. It is never easy... I am sorry and sad for your loss.
 
sorry, i just need someone to talk to

Gary's daughter finally succumbed to breast cancer yesterday
she had beaten it once before and had been given the 5 year all clear
but it came back in her spine, then her liver
she was doing ok
she was on her 5th and final public health system funded round of chemo, it had spread to her lungs

she had been doing so well, keeping it at bay, working, being a mum, being worried about her dad

she came to visit with her brother for Gary's birthday in August
she sent us this big meat pack a few weeks back worring how we were doing
we sent her flowers for her birthday at the end of September, at that stage her prognosis wasn't great, weeks or months if we were lucky but she was optimistic as once before the cancer had disapaired from her lungs
she gave up work and work gifted her her company car
Dylon took unpaid leave from work

then last week she sounded breathless on the phone
she went to hospital for a few days but they didn't have oxygen for her to take home which we all think was total BS and they must just be stock piling it for covid

then on Monday she went into the hospice, just to get her breathing right (they had plenty of oxygen for her to take a unit home)
we saw her on tuesday as we were in Wellington for Gary's eye appointment at Wgtn hospital so we were staying right accross the road and by some miricle 600m from the hospice
She looked so tired, her eyes were very sunken in kind of like darling Tibby looked when we had to take him to the vet on the way to rainbow bridge
Mel was sitting up in a chair, falling asleep momentarily as she had slept baddly for days because of her breathing trouble

she hands were red and sore looking
but she was talking and making conversation sure she would go home on friday

Wednesday we had Gary's apoinment and Mel's hubbie Dylon spent the day with her and brought the kids in (14 & 10)
We knew she'd be tired so we stayed away
Thursday we were on our way home and called in to see her as we left town

they wern't going to let us in because she wasn't up to visitors
Gary had to say this might be the last time he sees his daugter

we were quick, we exchanged i loves yous, her hands were so cold

we knew things were now very bad
as we were driving away Gary's son rang to say to get in their quick as she wasn't expected to last out the day
Gary explained we had just left her so we knew
it was dreadful, he was talking on the phone and driving and crying

As we drove into Porirua 20min latter he started crying at the thought of driving away from here


we got home and waited
(Her brother) Aaron rang latter that night to say Kaleb and little Kiera had been in and she had purked up at seeing them
they were all staying the night with her in the hospice accommodation

we sat at home and waited
i texted work to say i had better stay home on friday

the next morning we had toast for breakfast and waited
Aaron rang just before lunch to say she was gone
Poor Gary
and also her poor Hubbie, her kids, her own mum

i dont know what to do to help Gary, he's ok most of the time
i make cups of tea and serve food
yesterday after his nana nap he woke up crying
today i feel alot more tearful, like its really sinking in she's gone

she was certainly at least as close to me as my sister (but a lot more freindly)

there is no one to visit us here, just the two of us and Borris and Fluffa Duffa who are giving their daddy love

i wish my mum was here because she'd know what to do
she would have had the good cups and saucers out

yesterday i forgot to brush my teeth even though i had unpacked the toothpaste
today i did a load of towels

i just did the grocery delivery order 3 days early so we could have some snacky things for Gary

Gary rang to tell his sister and brothers after he had heard but we havn't heard from anyone today

maybe he should call his ex wife ? (they have no ill feeling towards each other but we only see them at Christmas or the grandkids birthdays)

i guess ill just wait to see what tomorrow brings

its a long weekend here

Oh honey I have not commented here in a while but i couldn't read this and not reply.
I am so sorry for yours & gary's loss.
The only comfort is she isn't in pain or sick any more.
Sending gentle comforting hugs !
 
I'm so sorry, Daisys. Sending you and Gary and Melanie's family my deepest sympathies.
 
Oh my gosh.

I am so, so sorry.
 
thank you everyone
Your kindness is much appreated each and every one of you

so many lovelly words- i never know what to say in moments like this

we heard from Aaron before, i think it must be his job to do the ringing around
Melanie is back at home in an open casket
very different from my family but what ever helps Dylon and the kids

Aaron said she looked better than the last time he saw her but she needed some make up
i remember my sister going out and buying lipstick for mum because the lady at the funneral director's had used a shade mum wouldn't have liked

Aaron asked if Gary was going to be a pallbearer, but poor Gary declined, he said he just wouldn't have the strength or be steady enough on his feet- he's become a bit inactive due to his eye problems
and to be honest i don't think he'd be strong enough emotionally to do it

Aaron said his mum is doing ok by keeping busy
Aaron played a charity round of golf yesterday for the pink ribbon, he did quite well $$$$ wise on account of Melanie
the funeral is on Thursday morning

i feel we should be sending a wreath to the service but Gary isnt sure ?
- he says maybe they will say donations to cancer charity rather than flowers like they did with Dylon's Dad
but surley as Melanie's father we should have a wreath for her ?

again could use my mum being here right now

Dylon's dad's was the saddest funeral ever because their side dont beleave in God or any kind of after life
Gary (who isnt a church goer) wondered why there was no Lord's prayer ?
the Service was completly devoid of any kind of religion or for that matrer hope
it was just well Steve, you're gone, it was great but we are never going to see you ever again

i think the finnality of how they beleave is playing on Gary's mind, i said to him (i would never ever impose religion on anyone especially Melanie's own little family and anyway no one talks about God much in NZ ) but i said to Gary that she's with his own mum and dad and Gary's granny and he agreed

my own sister is very angry anti religion but i insisted for our mum's funeral because our mum went to church and my sister did say afterwards it was kind of comforting

Gary had an out of body experience years ago after a quad bike accident so despite not seeing a bright light he is optimistic about what might come next

anyway that is today
 
This is devastating. I am so so sorry ☹️ No words ... Only wishing you love and condolences.
 
So sorry for your loss! Prayers going out to you and your family.
 
i think the finnality of how they beleave is playing on Gary's mind, i said to him (i would never ever impose religion on anyone especially Melanie's own little family and anyway no one talks about God much in NZ ) but i said to Gary that she's with his own mum and dad and Gary's granny and he agreed

This was lovely and exactly the right thing to say.

Gary is lucky to have you by his side.
 
I’m so sorry to hear the very sad news about Melanie. My heart breaks for you and Gary. It’s earth shattering for children to go before a parent. I wish I could give you a hug..You are doing everything right for Gary…Hugs, love and understanding from you will be soothing to his soul...and yours..❤️
 
To lose one's child is something no one should have to go through. Condolences to you and Gary. I'm glad you got to see her before she passed and that Gary has you to help him through this.
 
I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. This horrible disease seems to claim the best, as your Melanie was. I pray you find peace and comfort, since she was certainly well-loved.
 
thank you everyone again for your kindness

Melanie's death notice in the Dompost of Wellimgton

its so real, reading it
my mum would have cut this out of the paper and put it between the pages of a bible that lived on a shelf in lounge at home
my sister hasn't been able to find it, which makes me sad because it had a lot of greater family history and i wanted to give it to a cousin who is a minister
anyway i had to do with a cut & paste and storring it on my phone
im sure we should send a wreath as Melanie is going to a cemetery to be laid to rest


Melanie MCBRIDE Obituary​

premiumobit_candle.jpg

McBRIDE, Melanie Amanda
(née Rowden):
Of Paraparaumu. On Friday, 22 October 2021, surrounded by family at Mary Potter Hospice. Aged 44 years. Beloved wife and soulmate of Dylan, and beautiful mother of Kaleb and Kiera. Much loved daughter and step-daughter of Vanore & Tony, and Gary & Nicky, and daughter-in-law of Gytha & the late Stephen. Dearly loved sister and sister-in-law of Aaron & Sue, and Jeremy & Caroline. A service to celebrate Melanie's life will be held at Kapiti Coast Funeral Home Chapel, 9â??11 Hinemoa Street, Paraparaumu, at 10.30am on Thursday, 28 October, followed by interment at Awa Tapu Cemetery, Paraparaumu. Due to Covid restrictions, available seats in the Chapel will be limited, but Melanie's service will be live- streamed on www.kcfh.stream. In lieu of flowers, donations to Mary Potter Hospice would be appreciated and can be made via www.marypotter.org.nz. Messages for the McBride Family may be sent c/- PO Box 119, Paraparaumu 5254.


Published in Dominion Post on Oct. 25, 2021
 
So sorry to hear about your and Gary’s loss. Condolences to your family.
 
I'm so sorry to hear of this, huge virtual ((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you and Gary.
 
Oh Daisys, I am so very sorry to read this sad news. You are an amazing woman & Gary will take comfort from you just being there with him. You make sure that you don't lose sight of yourself whilst looking out for others.

Lots of love & hugs x
 
I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
thank you


today im off to work (i only do afternoons on Tuesday) so Borris and Fluffa Duffa will be looking after Gary
 
had to order a half slip last night off the internet so i can wear a new skirt on Thursday :(2
hope it arrives in time as its too see through
 
sorry, i just need someone to talk to

Gary's daughter finally succumbed to breast cancer yesterday
she had beaten it once before and had been given the 5 year all clear
but it came back in her spine, then her liver
she was doing ok
she was on her 5th and final public health system funded round of chemo, it had spread to her lungs

she had been doing so well, keeping it at bay, working, being a mum, being worried about her dad

she came to visit with her brother for Gary's birthday in August
she sent us this big meat pack a few weeks back worring how we were doing
we sent her flowers for her birthday at the end of September, at that stage her prognosis wasn't great, weeks or months if we were lucky but she was optimistic as once before the cancer had disapaired from her lungs
she gave up work and work gifted her her company car
Dylon took unpaid leave from work

then last week she sounded breathless on the phone
she went to hospital for a few days but they didn't have oxygen for her to take home which we all think was total BS and they must just be stock piling it for covid

then on Monday she went into the hospice, just to get her breathing right (they had plenty of oxygen for her to take a unit home)
we saw her on tuesday as we were in Wellington for Gary's eye appointment at Wgtn hospital so we were staying right accross the road and by some miricle 600m from the hospice
She looked so tired, her eyes were very sunken in kind of like darling Tibby looked when we had to take him to the vet on the way to rainbow bridge
Mel was sitting up in a chair, falling asleep momentarily as she had slept baddly for days because of her breathing trouble

she hands were red and sore looking
but she was talking and making conversation sure she would go home on friday

Wednesday we had Gary's apoinment and Mel's hubbie Dylon spent the day with her and brought the kids in (14 & 10)
We knew she'd be tired so we stayed away
Thursday we were on our way home and called in to see her as we left town

they wern't going to let us in because she wasn't up to visitors
Gary had to say this might be the last time he sees his daugter

we were quick, we exchanged i loves yous, her hands were so cold

we knew things were now very bad
as we were driving away Gary's son rang to say to get in their quick as she wasn't expected to last out the day
Gary explained we had just left her so we knew
it was dreadful, he was talking on the phone and driving and crying

As we drove into Porirua 20min latter he started crying at the thought of driving away from here


we got home and waited
(Her brother) Aaron rang latter that night to say Kaleb and little Kiera had been in and she had purked up at seeing them
they were all staying the night with her in the hospice accommodation

we sat at home and waited
i texted work to say i had better stay home on friday

the next morning we had toast for breakfast and waited
Aaron rang just before lunch to say she was gone
Poor Gary
and also her poor Hubbie, her kids, her own mum

i dont know what to do to help Gary, he's ok most of the time
i make cups of tea and serve food
yesterday after his nana nap he woke up crying
today i feel alot more tearful, like its really sinking in she's gone

she was certainly at least as close to me as my sister (but a lot more freindly)

there is no one to visit us here, just the two of us and Borris and Fluffa Duffa who are giving their daddy love

i wish my mum was here because she'd know what to do
she would have had the good cups and saucers out

yesterday i forgot to brush my teeth even though i had unpacked the toothpaste
today i did a load of towels

i just did the grocery delivery order 3 days early so we could have some snacky things for Gary

Gary rang to tell his sister and brothers after he had heard but we havn't heard from anyone today

maybe he should call his ex wife ? (they have no ill feeling towards each other but we only see them at Christmas or the grandkids birthdays)

i guess ill just wait to see what tomorrow brings

its a long weekend here

I'm so sorry to hear this. :cry2:
 
Ah jeez D. I was sure hoping she was gonna win this battle. Sigh. Thinking about you both and her kiddies now. Damn.
 
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top