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Would you upgrade your stone without telling your SO in advance?

No, I wouldn't upgrade without talking to my husband first. We're equal contributors to the family finances and always make decisions about big ticket items together. But even if he had a higher income than me or vice versa, it would still be a joint decision. And what @StephanieLynn said also describes us perfectly: "We do not have the kind of disposable income to buy now ask later."
 
No, I wouldn't...an upgrade would be thousands of dollars. I would not spend that amount without dh knowing.
 
Of course not. But no more upgrades are coming, I know that. We don't buy lottery tickets, lol.
 
When I became a SAHM about 12 years ago, I had the crazy notion that the money was his, not mine. Wow, glad I got over that! He and I are both on board that the money is ours. We have a limit on purchases that we make that don't need discussion. Any upgrade I want is beyond that limit, lol, so I would discuss. He's never said no so far though! :mrgreen2::lol-2:
 
I’m not engaged so the upgrade wouldn’t be to an e-ring upgrade (therefore no sentimentality as I’m the one that picked and purchased my diamond rings). I’d mention it to my SO as a natural part of the decision process, but ultimately it’s up to me. We’re not married so that may change. For now I’m buying and stashing whatever I want :mrgreen2:.
 
I have and we have been married over 25 years.
On another note I think people feel it’s more acceptable when a man upgrades his wife’s ring without telling her than when a wife decides to upgrade her ring without telling her husband.
I would be curious how many men have upgraded their wives rings without discussing it with their wives first and how many of those wives said no.
 
Nope. That would be a cost over the "no need to discuss" threshold.
 
foxinsox said:
No - my engagement ring is part of us so changing it without his involvement would be rude imo. Any non-significant stone, maybe.. but I’d probably still let him know since it’s our joint finances involved
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This. Upgrading here (UK) is not normal to do & husbands wouldn't really appreciate it being suggested. The ring is always bought with a lot of 'forever' thought, and not "well, she can change it in a few years" thought. I know many women who have big engagement rings, but also many with big RHR's instead, still sporting the little engagement rings. My husband however, knows I am a member of PS :Up_to_something:
 
ceg said:
Ask forgiveness, not permission!
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Never ask the wife for forgiveness
bowdown.gif
b/c you may have to do it for the rest of your life. :bigsmile:
 
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Nah. First off it'd be her stone and she'd kill me if I changed the stone without her buy in.

But mostly we are super transparent in our relationship, including finances. Also we believe in budgeting so we are effective spenders and savers. We do have "blow money" categories we both get that are for impulse and uncategorized purchases but they wouldn't support a dollar amount of that magnitude.

Just like with my guns -- there is a jewelry category as well, so we can choose to be intentional when we decide the timing is right for an upgrade or she wants some new bling. Obviously this doesn't include things like gifts, which is it's own category and allows me to surprise her.
 
No.
 
I wouldn’t. We’d talk first.

I use a separate account with my Chinese New Year/side job/bonus money for jewelry. Regular paycheck goes to the joint account.
 
No. Anything over a certain dollar amount is always discussed first before purchasing in our marriage.

A friend of mine upgraded her engagement ring without telling her husband years ago. He didn’t get too upset and asked that large purchases be discussed beforehand in the future. We still laugh about the phone call we had on her way home from the jewelry store. It’s never a good sign where the first words out of a friends mouth are my “husband is going to kill me” I responded with what LV bag did you just buy? When she said she upgraded her diamond I became much more concerned.
 
No, I wouldn't want a surprise purchase by him sprung on me so I wouldn't do that to him either. Definitely got to talk about the big splurges!
 
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