Wedding Would you still go?

[Shoopy]

Mimzy and ETA: I'm trying to figure out if 2 months is ok for sending out invites. My best friend has less than 3 months until her wedding and hasn't sent out invites. It's a wedding in the Keys that will require locals to travel up to 4 hours. Of her 60 guests there are only 20 locals. The rest are from Connecticut, Oregon, and California.

 

[mimzy]

i don''t get it! are you trying to figure out if giving people more time will make them more likely to travel to a wedding that they might have declined if not given more notice??

 

[kittybean]

I'm with Mimzy--not totally sure what you're asking about. I have received plenty of invites 3 months in advance and have still gone despite them being out of town. Usually, though, the bride or other family members or friends have told me about the wedding and have told me I'm invited even further ahead of time, so I have been able to make travel arrangements further in advance.

If I knew nothing about the wedding and received an invite two and a half months in advance, I would see if I could make appropriate travel arrangements. If I could get a good plane fare and hotel rate, I'd definitely go. If not, I wouldn't go. Some out-of-town people, however, might receive your invitation and feel compelled to come despite the fact that travel expenses may be very high.

Hope that helps!

ETA: Just saw your ETA--I think that your friend doesn't have much choice in the matter since there are only three months left before her wedding. I would advise her to get her invites out ASAP! If people can't come, they can't come. Not much you can do about it.

 

[Shoopy]

I agree most likely more people won''t be able to go. She''s trying to budget and is budgeting under the assumption that all of her guests will make it. I''m thinking that of the 60 she could probably expect around 40 or so.

 

[FrekeChild]

I said no. Depends on how close and all, but that''s cutting it pretty close to make affordable travel arrangements. Did she send out STDs?

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 9/15/2008 5:45:38 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I said no. Depends on how close and all, but that''s cutting it pretty close to make affordable travel arrangements. Did she send out STDs?

Nope.

She has been relying on word of mouth and assuming that her guests made plans ahead of time. But up until like 2 weeks ago, her wedding was the end of November and now its the beginning of December.

 

[bee*]

I''d go. STD''s aren''t really done over here and most invitations are sent out about that time.

 

[neatfreak]

That's a pretty normal timeframe for getting an invite...even on the longer end I would say...not sure why it's a big deal? Is it just to try and get a guest estimate?

 

[E B]

The Keys are quite a distance from CA, CT, and OR- if I lived that far away (and I do!), I'd want more notice. An STD or something, several months out, so I could find an affordable flight.

As for whether or not I'd go depends on my relationship with the person and our current financial status.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 9/15/2008 6:16:16 PM
Author: neatfreak
That''s a pretty normal timeframe for getting an invite...even on the longer end I would say...not sure why it''s a big deal? Is it just to try and get a guest estimate?

Yes ma''am

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I always make a valid effort to attend a wedding if I''m invite. I think 2 1/2 months notice is very reasonable and plenty of time to give guests the opportunity to make travel arrangements or plans. However, she should send them as quickly as possible, if for nothing else, than to get an actual grasp on how many people will be coming and how much money she needs,

 

[musey]

It really depends on SO many factors... my current financial situation, whether I have conflicting plans, the premium of hotels and flights at the time, how close I am with the bride and/or groom...

Given my own current situation, if I received an invitation today for a wedding within that time frame, unless it were immediate family, I would RSVP no. But my current situation (my own wedding happening in less than a month, the holidays and all the financial strain that entails falling around the same time as the friend's wedding, being financially strained in general at the moment) may be more difficult than your friend's guests' situations.


Also, all that is operating under the assumption that there was no advance warning (save-the-dates, announcements, etc.).

 

[brooklyngirl]

I would try to go (obviously depending on my relationship with that person). I think 2.5 months is enough time to make affordable travel arrangements. Just yesterday FI and I booked a flight for the Oct. 2nd from Sacramento, CA to NYC. We got decently cheap flight.

You mentioned she is relying on word of mouth... whose mouth, exactly? If it''s her mom, I think that''s fine, but if it''s other guests, that''s a little bit iffy.

Why not just call all the guests, and let them know that they will be receiving a wedding invitation soon. This way, they can start making arrangements if they would like to attend.

This is all assuming that the wedding date has been set, and is final. You don''t want people booking trips, only to find out the date changed.

 

[Sabine]

I have a friend who just sent out invitations 1 month in advance for a wedding that most will need to travel to!

But she felt find knowing that she had sent out save the dates a few months ago. I thought that was cutting it close. I think over 2 months would be okay as long as it is domestic traveling.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 9/15/2008 5:45:38 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I said no. Depends on how close and all, but that''s cutting it pretty close to make affordable travel arrangements. Did she send out STDs?

I meant how close we are friendship/relationship wise.

 

[Gwyn]

I put yes regardless but thats not really accurate. If I could afford to go, and planned to do so anyway, I wouldnt let the fact that the invites were sent out a little late for my taste affect that decision.

Planning gets hectic and alot of things out of peoples control can delay them as well. If the person could still afford to go, I dont think it makes much sense for them to decline just out of spite for not getting the invite sooner.

Also, it sounds like the guests knew about the wedding and travel requirements, especially if a save the date was sent. So even if the invites were not out, the word was )even if the date has been changing).

 

[Nocturnius]

I sent my invitations out exactly two and a half weeks before the wedding.

Granted, I started planning my wedding a month before it happened, and it wasn't a destination wedding or anything.

I think it depends on how far people are going. But even at 2 months, MOST work places won't even allow you to request time off more than four weeks in advance anyway, and working in a hotel I assure it's not hard to get a hotel on short notice, even in touristy areas.

I personally would go if it was someone important to me. An old friend from high school I haven't spoken to in a few years? No, probably not. But my best friend? Absolutely. I'd put it on a credit card if I had to. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Some things are just that important.