Would you reset/redesign handed-down jewelry?

[karpouzi]

Date: 1/12/2010 2:22:51 PM
Author:katamari

In favor of resetting:

-The ring does not fit any of my fingers safely and needs to, at least, be sized.

-The ring is in yellow gold. I do not have any yellow gold pieces and don''t really like the look of mixing. Plus, I have a metal allergy and could only really wear the ring for a few hours at a time without risking a severe rash and breakout.

-The style is dated and I do not care for it. I have not worn it except for during my wedding because of this (but also partially because of the style).

IMO

These aren''t really points in favor of resetting; they are points in opposition to wearing it as is. Points in favor of resetting would be positive: I love the stones, my dad picked out the diamonds himself, my parents always envisioned passing on the diamonds to me for me to set however I please, etc.

It sounds like ALL of the sentimental value in this piece is in the setting, not in the raw materials. If you want an eternity ring or such, you can purchase one but I would leave this ring as is, possibly just rhodium plating it as has been suggested.

 

[purselover]

Katamari, I''m glad you were able to come to a decision sounds like a good choice and you can always update the ring in the future after having more time to think about it. To answer your question yes my mom ended up loving what I did with her ring - she always grabs my finger now to check to it out!

 

[whitby_2773]

hi katamari

i think sentimentality is tied inherently to respect; it often involves saving things without material value for their emotional worth. that being the case, i would proceed Very Slowly and Very Gently with this ring.

and yet... i''d change it, because there''s nothing sentimental about leaving it in a drawer to gather dust.

the trick is to do something with it which shows adequate respect for the experiences behind the ring. it''s just awfully hard to do jewelry that equals a treasured history. but here''s what i''d do....

i''d send the stones - probably to BGD - and ask them to set them into a shared prong or pave heart which you could wear as a pendant; this to reflect the love between your mom and dad, and between your parents and you.

have the metal from the ring made into a small disc (i did this with part of the metal from my husbands and my wedding rings when they cracked and split), and have your parents initials engraved on the front (eg "T and K"), and the date of their marriage engraved on the back.

wear it either as a yellow gold pendant, which, around your neck, shouldn''t give you a rash, or have it rhodium plated at that point so it doesn''t bother you. or perhaps have a white gold edge added for a 2 tone effect. wear both the heart and the disc on the same chain for a more bohemian look, and there you have it - a gorgeous, predominantly white gold necklace which is all sentiment and a tribute to your parents.

this is not cheap, but it''s very special. and you''d end up with a beautiful quality piece you''d enjoy. if your mom saw you wearing a heart and a charm which was all about her and her husband and the love between the two of them, i think you can be sure that she wouldn''t be offended.

just some thoughts....

 

[upgrade]

Date: 1/13/2010 11:16:53 AM
Author: whitby_2773
hi katamari

i think sentimentality is tied inherently to respect; it often involves saving things without material value for their emotional worth. that being the case, i would proceed Very Slowly and Very Gently with this ring.

and yet... i''d change it, because there''s nothing sentimental about leaving it in a drawer to gather dust.

the trick is to do something with it which shows adequate respect for the experiences behind the ring. it''s just awfully hard to do jewelry that equals a treasured history. but here''s what i''d do....

i''d send the stones - probably to BGD - and ask them to set them into a shared prong or pave heart which you could wear as a pendant; this to reflect the love between your mom and dad, and between your parents and you.

have the metal from the ring made into a small disc (i did this with part of the metal from my husbands and my wedding rings when they cracked and split), and have your parents initials engraved on the front (eg ''T and K''), and the date of their marriage engraved on the back.

wear it either as a yellow gold pendant, which, around your neck, shouldn''t give you a rash, or have it rhodium plated at that point so it doesn''t bother you. or perhaps have a white gold edge added for a 2 tone effect. wear both the heart and the disc on the same chain for a more bohemian look, and there you have it - a gorgeous, predominantly white gold necklace which is all sentiment and a tribute to your parents.

this is not cheap, but it''s very special. and you''d end up with a beautiful quality piece you''d enjoy. if your mom saw you wearing a heart and a charm which was all about her and her husband and the love between the two of them, i think you can be sure that she wouldn''t be offended.

just some thoughts....

What a lovely idea... I like that!

 

[swingirl]

I wouldn''t touch it or change a thing. This is a nice family heirloom that should be passed down with the sentimental story of it''s origin. Although you don''t like the style by today''s standards in 100 years it won''t matter whether or not someone liked yellow gold. Every style gets "dated" before it becomes an antique. What will matter is that this piece has a story behind it and was given with such love and thoughtfulness.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 1/13/2010 3:23:26 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 1/12/2010 3:47:06 PM
Author: TravelingGal
No way would I reset something like that, especially since your mom prefers it as is.

When people pass away, they can no longer touch things...leave their imprints. I would be hard pressed to melt a piece of family history like that.

I don''t have anything aginst resetting jewelry, but in this case, no, I''d leave it.

I agree wholheartedly.. for me, sentimental value factors in here.. I''m a softie.

I''m also in the sentimentality wins category.

If you do choose to reset in the future, perhaps having 3 rows across of 11 diamonds, so that it appears more like 3 stacked channel set bands would be more your asthetic, while still keeping the original meaning behind the ring and making it more wearable?

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/12/2010 3:14:42 PM
Author: Addy
I''d keep it as is, even if I didn''t wear it much because of it was designed specifically for your mom (the 33 diamonds in 11 rows) and because he died shortly after. The ring sounds very sentimental and makes a fantastic story for future generations. I''d hate to loose that by redesigning the ring.

Exactly my thoughts. Even if you don''t wear it, just looking at it, wearing it occasionally will remind you of your dad and the love he had for your mom. I just couldn''t do it.

 

[purrfectpear]

It''s very 80''s and I doubt you''ll ever be comfortable wearing it, plated or not. If you want to keep it just to have it fine. Otherwise I''d reset it into something you would wear. How about eleven little clusters in a diamonds by the yard type necklace?

 

[marcy]

Date: 1/12/2010 3:14:42 PM
Author: Addy
I''d keep it as is, even if I didn''t wear it much because of it was designed specifically for your mom (the 33 diamonds in 11 rows) and because he died shortly after. The ring sounds very sentimental and makes a fantastic story for future generations. I''d hate to loose that by redesigning the ring.

Ditto.

 

[Circe]

Date: 1/12/2010 10:50:38 PM
Author: HopeDream
I feel jewelery should be loved and used, so take my advice with a grain of salt


Step 1) Take a museum quality photo of the ring in it''s present condition and frame it with you favorite picture of your Mom and Dad together and happy. Put it up somehwere. This will preserve the ring''s history and origional design.


Step 2) Take apart the ring: use 11 of the diamonds and the yellow gold you''re allergic to. Have a jewler create a medalion with the yellow gold and set the 11 diamonds in the shape of a 33 on the front and engrave the names of your mom and dad, and their wedding date on the back. Give the medalion as a momento to your mom. When folks ask her about the 33 she can relate the story of her husband''s and daughter''s love.



Step 3) Use the remaining 22 diamonds alond with 11 colored stones of your choosing to create a peice more to your taste that you can wear and love. Try to set the gems in the 11 X 3 formation if you can (or not) (What about a vertical tablet pendant with 11x3 columns of diamonds and gems, the colored stones randomly interspersed ? or something else your style).


In this manner the important part (the story of your father''s love for your mother) is preserved and multiplied - Three things tell the story instead of one hidden in a drawer, and a gift of love is still used and appreciated on a daily basis.


Just my two cents

I think HopeDream''s suggestion provides a wonderful solution (and so eloquently phrased!) - I think I would vote for this approach ....

 

[katamari]

Thanks to all of you who weighed in further! I do appreciate the feedback.

PinkAsscher, I love that your mom wears it now. That''s a lot of life out of a piece!

HopeDream, thank you so much. Those are fabulous ideas--especially the museum quality photo. I am letting the idea simmer right now, but I printed this thread out and will be particularly revisiting these ideas when I finally take action.

Gypsy, thanks for the link! Rhodium plating seems like a much better "fix" than I had anticipated. I *think* it will address the allergy issue, as I just cannot have nickel touch my skin, but I know they put nickel in a lot of white metals because it is extra white and cheap, so I will just have to check into it. Also thanks for your stories--I agree with you that sometimes it is just better to put the money towards something entirely new. Like a garnet or an OMC bezel pendant. . .

Ooh, I have been eying all the colored stones projects, LisaRn.

Excellent points, karpouzi. You are absolutely right. I am not sure why I didn''t realize I liked this ring for what it is and not necessarily for what it looks like--which is okay. It makes me glad to have started the thread. And, welcome to PS!

Glad to hear you and your mom were happy, purselover

Hey, whitby. Good to see you back and posting! Hope all is well. I absolutely love the idea of giving something back to my mom, were I to change the ring. That is fabulous--and I love the personalization you suggest.

Excellent point, swingirl. I need to think of the "date" as part of the story, too, since it does represent the era I got to spend with my dad.

Thanks, SanDiegoLady, vc10um, steph72276. I am planning to keep it as is at least for now, and likely forever.

A diamonds by the yard necklace is definitely on my "covet" list, perfectpear, so even if I don''t do it with this ring, it will eventually happen.

Also thanks to marcyc and Circe!

Again, I really appreciate all the input and help.