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Would you reset/redesign handed-down jewelry?

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katamari

katamari

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My mom gave me this ring my dad had given her as part of my wedding gift. I am trying to decide if I should reset it in a way that would redesign it or not and am looking for input. Have any of you done this? Was it easier or harder than you thought, if so?

Here are my reasons for wanting to and not wanting to reset it.

In favor of resetting:
-The ring does not fit any of my fingers safely and needs to, at least, be sized.
-The ring is in yellow gold. I do not have any yellow gold pieces and don''t really like the look of mixing. Plus, I have a metal allergy and could only really wear the ring for a few hours at a time without risking a severe rash and breakout.
-The style is dated and I do not care for it. I have not worn it except for during my wedding because of this (but also partially because of the style).

Against resetting:
-My dad designed the ring for my mom very sentimentally. It has 33 diamonds, as it was a gift for her 33rd birthday, in 11 columns because, at that time, they had been together for 11 years.
-My dad died the year after he gave my mom the ring.
-Despite my mom giving me permission to reset it however I wanted, her preference would be to keep it as it is.

Any insights? TIA.

kats.moms.ring.JPG
 
Hmm, that's tricky! I think, because of your metal allergy and the fact that it's a color of metal you don't wear, I might re-design it. However, I would make the new design similar to keep the symbolism, if that makes sense. I wouldn't just turn it into an eternity ring or something.

eta: DH and I redesigned a ring from his family and used the main stone for my ering. But the ring was a very large and ugly yellow gold man's ring that DH certainly wasn't going to wear - so it wasn't a hard decision
2.gif
My mom also used the center stone and some side stones from her mom's ering to create her own ring. However, my mom and her mom have no relationship (my grandma is crazy) so it's not like it was particuarly sentimental.

eta2: FWIW, I like your family ring. I don't think it's that old fashioned or crazy looking at all. You could make have it reset in the same style, but in a metal you would be able to wear?
 
The only diamond I reset was from my mom's eng ring. That was because she had already taken it out of her ring and reset it herself, so it wasn't like I took her ring apart.

Even though I have *a lot* of stuff that was my mom's, I decided not to reset any of it. I feel uncomfortable and guilty doing so. There is one small diamond earring that the mate to was lost and that is the only one I've pondered putting into a new setting (non earring).

*Personally* if the ring was designed for your mom and her preference is to keep it as is, I would do so. There are plenty of other diamonds out in the world which need homes. I'd save up for some melee and put that into a setting of preferable style.
 
I''d say think about it for awhile first, because once it''s done you can''t undo it. Maybe look into deisgns and decide what you would want to do with it, then think on that and see how you feel in 6 months?

It''s a tough one... I have a ring from my Grandma that I would like to reset, but I don''t know if I''ll actually be able to do it or if it''ll make me feel bad. I''m going to wait a few years and see how I feel then. I had no problem resetting my engagement ring, but for some reason this feels different.
 
that is tough! If you wanted to wear it frequently, I''d get it re-made in a metal you were not allergic to in a similar style (keeping the 33 and 11 symbolism).

If not, I''d get it sized, maybe add a liner of another metal that you are not allergic to, and call it a day...
 
I would reuse the ring as best I could. That means melting the gold to make a new ring and resetting the diamonds. What about doing a pave eternity band?
 
I wouldn't re-set it. Sometimes, it's nice to keep jewelry just as a keep-sake. I'm betting the ring will remind you of lovely memories when you're older. Especially considering the sentiments that go with this one, 33 diamonds and 11 rows, oh just makes my heart melt.

I got a LOT of jewelry at my wedding (Indian custom is to give jewelry) and all of it is heavy 22-24Kt yellow gold. I'm keeping some of the older pieces as a family heirloom, and selling/re-setting the newer ones later down the road.
 
I would keep the style the same and just reset it into a different metal. My mom gave me her e-ring to do whatever I wanted with whether it was keep it as is or sell it to put towards something else and I ended up resetting it in the exact same setting just rose gold instead of yellow.
 
Is your mom remarried? I wonder why she gave the ring to you at this juncture? I'd kinda want to give the ring back to her -- since she seems to enjoy it *as is* and you don't.

Something that was made with so much attention & sentiment -- I'd be very hesitant to reset ... ever. Something someone purchased just because they fancied it & then passed it on to a relative: much easier to justify making it "yours".


ETA: For what its worth -- I think the ring is very pretty despite being a dated style. It's not TACKY dated ... just mildly "not current" yanno? The metal allergy is problematic though. Did she know of your sensitivity when she gifted the ring?
 
Normally I say yes to the re-design.

In this case, I would either leave it as is (because of the sentiment involved), or change metals but keep the design similar.
 
I''d keep it as is, even if I didn''t wear it much because of it was designed specifically for your mom (the 33 diamonds in 11 rows) and because he died shortly after. The ring sounds very sentimental and makes a fantastic story for future generations. I''d hate to loose that by redesigning the ring.
 
Date: 1/12/2010 3:14:42 PM
Author: Addy
I''d keep it as is, even if I didn''t wear it much because of it was designed specifically for your mom (the 33 diamonds in 11 rows) and because he died shortly after. The ring sounds very sentimental and makes a fantastic story for future generations. I''d hate to loose that by redesigning the ring.
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Ditto-I would definitely not reset it. I think something like that should just be kept in tact and passed on.
 
My grandmother gave me her wedding set and I had the diamond reset, but that was only because the setting was so worn I couldn''t wear it. Plus I found a very similar setting.

I probably not reset the ring, or if I did recreate it in a different metal.
 
No way would I reset something like that, especially since your mom prefers it as is.

When people pass away, they can no longer touch things...leave their imprints. I would be hard pressed to melt a piece of family history like that.

I don''t have anything aginst resetting jewelry, but in this case, no, I''d leave it.
 
Before reading anyone elses opinion I feel that if it were me I would not reset it. I understand your reasons for wanting to. If it werent for the fact that he designed it himself for your mother and then passed a year later I would have it reset in a second, but I think that it would pull at my heart too much to signifigantly change it.

If I were you I would keep the design and get it reset platinum, or whatever metal it is that you can wear. And obviously get it seized to fit you. Just my opinion.
 
Date: 1/12/2010 3:27:41 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 1/12/2010 3:14:42 PM
Author: Addy
I''d keep it as is, even if I didn''t wear it much because of it was designed specifically for your mom (the 33 diamonds in 11 rows) and because he died shortly after. The ring sounds very sentimental and makes a fantastic story for future generations. I''d hate to loose that by redesigning the ring.
Click to expand...

Ditto-I would definitely not reset it. I think something like that should just be kept in tact and passed on.
Click to expand...
HI:

Ditto. Rhodium plate it--otherwise leave it as is.

cheeers--Sharon
 
leave it. it can be a family heirloom to be handed down with the story you told us re how it came to be as it is.

mz
 
Personally, in the circumstances, I''d say to leave it as it is.
My SIL broke up her (and DH''s) mother''s rings and he was absolutely heart broken. I wasn''t terribly sentimental about rings until then, but it made me so sad. He was sad that he''d never see them again, having seen his mother wear them for as long as he could remember.

I''d keep it as it is and wear it from time to time.
 
I would have it reset keeping the original 33 and 11 but having it done in a more streamline pave style band in whatever you''re not allergic to. This keeps the sentiment there so Mom can''t really be upset but it makes it wearable for you.
 
I'd re-set it.

It's not ideal because of the sentimental value of the ring, however, if it sits in a box you don't get to see it often and appriciate the sentimental value. If you re-design it you'll wear it and it will still bring back the same memories that the original ring does. Jewelly should be worn and appriciated.
 
I also had the thought of rhodium plating it, otherwise I would leave it as is. All family jewelry is sentimental, but this piece is REALLY sentimental. It''s very pretty, and actually, I don''t think it''s that dated looking.
 
It really depends on how sentimental it is and it's history. If it was some not so cute looking necklace (or other piece of jewelry) someone had gotten at an auction or something sure I'd reset it.

For example when my grandmother passed away she left me a ring. The center stone was so pretty, but the setting was a "cluster" style that wasn't particularly my taste. I had it re-set and everyone in the family compliments it and says that it was definitely meant to be in the new setting.

You ring is VERY pretty as is but it's really up to you.
 
Date: 1/12/2010 6:09:31 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678
It really depends on how sentimental it is and it's history. If it was some not so cute looking necklace (or other piece of jewelry) someone had gotten at an auction or something sure I'd reset it.

For example when my grandmother passed away she left me a ring. The center stone was so pretty, but the setting was a 'cluster' style that wasn't particularly my taste. I had it re-set and everyone in the family compliments it and says that it was definitely meant to be in the new setting.

You ring is VERY pretty as is but it's really up to you.
Click to expand...

Ditto.


If it belonged to someone I knew and loved, and they told me to do what I wanted, I would have no issues resetting it - I have more than just that to remember them by: I have my memories, and the sentiments the piece inspires are of the person who once wore it.

I will one day have a ring that belonged to my grandmother's grandmother. I will never use that ring, never wear it, never resize it, probably hesitate to polish it - it will sit in my jewellery box exactly as is, and I'll take it out once in a while and try to imagine what she looked like, how she lived, the other things she often wore. It's the only thing I have of hers, so I could never change it.


I think in your case it's different, though, because the person to whom it belonged specifically expressed a preference - it just doesn't seem right not to honour that.
 
Personally, I wouldn''t do it unless you couldn''t save the setting. Given all of the information you gave us, I think it''s super sweet that your dad actually designed it instead of just picking any old ring out.

I know yellow gold isn''t your thing, but you MIGHT change your mind.... I was the same way and am getting used to yellow gold.

Is it possible to just hang on to the ring for a while and think more about this?

Either way... It''s really sweet that you got the ring!!
 
Thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate it.

elrohwen, I hadn''t even thought about redesigning it in a way that keeps the symbolism. Right now, my plan is to keep it as it, but that is a great idea. Also, thanks for the compliment on the ring! It is funny to think of your e-ring as a large, ugly man''s ring (I am thinking back to that ugly ring thread that used to exist). Huge improvement!

MC, the discomfort and guilt is right where I am at, but I am also having discomfort and guilt over not wearing it. That is an excellent point about there being plenty of other diamonds.

upgrade, sitting on it is a great idea, too. It certainly doesn''t hurt anything to wait and I could grow to like the aesthetics of it.

Thanks, bella_mezzo. I didn''t even know you could put metal on top of other metal. That would solve the sizing and the allergy issue, which would be a double win. I would like to wear it frequently, which is why I thought about the reset in the first place.

Hudson_Hawk, if I do reset, I think it is a great idea to use as much of the ring as possible. Even if I only swap metals, it would be nice to melt the gold into something I could give back to my mom.

kama, that is an excellent point. Right now, the reason I love it is because of the history it represents between my mom and my dad. I guess as long as that feeling is there, it doesn''t have to be worn to have use. I hadn''t really thought about it that way.

purselover, that is very sweet that your reset the ring the same. Did your mom like that you chose to do it that way?

Deco, no my mom is not remarried. I tried very hard to not accept the ring, but she said it was important to her for me to have it. She wanted to give me something from my dad to have while I walked down the aisle at my wedding, but I am not sure why she selected this ring. She did know about my allergies, and said that she knew I would have to do something to make it wearable. Also, thanks for the compliment. Your comment about it being dated, but not in a tacky way, made me think a lot about it. One huge drawback to resetting it would be I could quite possibly reset it into a style that I love now, but would grow more strongly out of favor with later (I am of the opinion that nothing is truly timeless). Certainly something to consider.

Thanks, Brown.Eyed.Girl. That is what I am planning to do as of now.

Good point about the story for future generations, Addy. I do find it quite sad that any children I might have will never know my dad, and I love the idea of them thinking about their grandfather is as a sweet man who genuinely loved their grandmother.

Thanks, thing. That seems like the best option.

The ring is actually in great shape, rhbgirl, so I do feel lucky about that. There is not even a loose or chipped diamond.

Excellent point, TGal. I was feeling bad for not wearing it, but it would be worse to lose a memento of the connection my mom and dad had. Before this thread, I thought it was worse to not be wearing it. But, now, I totally feel like I don''t necessarily have to wear it every day to enjoy it.

Thanks, radiantquest. That is now what I plan to do.

Thanks, canuk-gal.

I guess I never thought of it as an heirloom, since it has only been passed on once, but every heirloom has to get through the first generation. Thanks, movie zombie.

That is exactly what I am worried about, Mrs. Mitchell. I do remember my mom getting this ring and wearing it throughout my childhood and it wouldn''t be/feel/seem the same.

That is a good idea, Asscherhalo_lover. Before that was suggested, I had never thought about that option (redoing it similarly). Right now, I am thinking I won''t reset it, but if I do, I certainly plan on doing something like this, maybe even asking my mom for help with the design.

This is also my mom''s philosophy, 4ever, which is why I worried that I was offending her more by not wearing it.

Thanks for the compliment, junebug! Maybe I am projecting my tastes onto it and they are just coming out as dated-ness.

Thank you, PinkAsscher. I appreciate the kind words about the ring. I am glad to hear a happy story about a reset. I would love to be able to know, in advance, that my family would react positively to it. I guess if this had a center stone, it would be easier, because I could even reset it with a colored gem. Did you do that with your grandmother''s ring?

Excellent point about honoring my mother''s preference, yssie. She didn''t overtly express it, so perhaps I should talk more about it with her. But, that was the impression DH and I both got when talking to her about it. You also bring up a good point that, if I were to have a daughter one day, it would be a good vehicle to think about her grandfather through. The thought of you doing that with your great-grandmother''s ring is truly endearing.

Thanks, swedish bean. That is a great point. My tastes certainly changed and metal color trends do ebb and flow. I might soon be longing for a yellow gold ring. The ring itself is in excellent shape and would remain so if I held on to it. And, yes, it is awesome that I got the ring! I hope my mom will be so generous with the rest of her jewelry
2.gif
 
I am glad that you are keeping the ring as it is (at least for now).

The story behind that ring is very beautiful!
 
Date: 1/12/2010 7:55:51 PM
Author: katamari
Thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate it.


elrohwen, I hadn''t even thought about redesigning it in a way that keeps the symbolism. Right now, my plan is to keep it as it, but that is a great idea. Also, thanks for the compliment on the ring! It is funny to think of your e-ring as a large, ugly man''s ring (I am thinking back to that ugly ring thread that used to exist). Huge improvement!


MC, the discomfort and guilt is right where I am at, but I am also having discomfort and guilt over not wearing it. That is an excellent point about there being plenty of other diamonds.


upgrade, sitting on it is a great idea, too. It certainly doesn''t hurt anything to wait and I could grow to like the aesthetics of it.


Thanks, bella_mezzo. I didn''t even know you could put metal on top of other metal. That would solve the sizing and the allergy issue, which would be a double win. I would like to wear it frequently, which is why I thought about the reset in the first place.


Hudson_Hawk, if I do reset, I think it is a great idea to use as much of the ring as possible. Even if I only swap metals, it would be nice to melt the gold into something I could give back to my mom.


kama, that is an excellent point. Right now, the reason I love it is because of the history it represents between my mom and my dad. I guess as long as that feeling is there, it doesn''t have to be worn to have use. I hadn''t really thought about it that way.


purselover, that is very sweet that your reset the ring the same. Did your mom like that you chose to do it that way?


Deco, no my mom is not remarried. I tried very hard to not accept the ring, but she said it was important to her for me to have it. She wanted to give me something from my dad to have while I walked down the aisle at my wedding, but I am not sure why she selected this ring. She did know about my allergies, and said that she knew I would have to do something to make it wearable. Also, thanks for the compliment. Your comment about it being dated, but not in a tacky way, made me think a lot about it. One huge drawback to resetting it would be I could quite possibly reset it into a style that I love now, but would grow more strongly out of favor with later (I am of the opinion that nothing is truly timeless). Certainly something to consider.


Thanks, Brown.Eyed.Girl. That is what I am planning to do as of now.


Good point about the story for future generations, Addy. I do find it quite sad that any children I might have will never know my dad, and I love the idea of them thinking about their grandfather is as a sweet man who genuinely loved their grandmother.


Thanks, thing. That seems like the best option.


The ring is actually in great shape, rhbgirl, so I do feel lucky about that. There is not even a loose or chipped diamond.


Excellent point, TGal. I was feeling bad for not wearing it, but it would be worse to lose a memento of the connection my mom and dad had. Before this thread, I thought it was worse to not be wearing it. But, now, I totally feel like I don''t necessarily have to wear it every day to enjoy it.


Thanks, radiantquest. That is now what I plan to do.


Thanks, canuk-gal.


I guess I never thought of it as an heirloom, since it has only been passed on once, but every heirloom has to get through the first generation. Thanks, movie zombie.


That is exactly what I am worried about, Mrs. Mitchell. I do remember my mom getting this ring and wearing it throughout my childhood and it wouldn''t be/feel/seem the same.


That is a good idea, Asscherhalo_lover. Before that was suggested, I had never thought about that option (redoing it similarly). Right now, I am thinking I won''t reset it, but if I do, I certainly plan on doing something like this, maybe even asking my mom for help with the design.


This is also my mom''s philosophy, 4ever, which is why I worried that I was offending her more by not wearing it.


Thanks for the compliment, junebug! Maybe I am projecting my tastes onto it and they are just coming out as dated-ness.


Thank you, PinkAsscher. I appreciate the kind words about the ring. I am glad to hear a happy story about a reset. I would love to be able to know, in advance, that my family would react positively to it. I guess if this had a center stone, it would be easier, because I could even reset it with a colored gem. Did you do that with your grandmother''s ring?


Excellent point about honoring my mother''s preference, yssie. She didn''t overtly express it, so perhaps I should talk more about it with her. But, that was the impression DH and I both got when talking to her about it. You also bring up a good point that, if I were to have a daughter one day, it would be a good vehicle to think about her grandfather through. The thought of you doing that with your great-grandmother''s ring is truly endearing.


Thanks, swedish bean. That is a great point. My tastes certainly changed and metal color trends do ebb and flow. I might soon be longing for a yellow gold ring. The ring itself is in excellent shape and would remain so if I held on to it. And, yes, it is awesome that I got the ring! I hope my mom will be so generous with the rest of her jewelry
2.gif
Click to expand...

Yes. What I did with her ring was, I asked my father (this was my dad''s mother) where my grandmother had gotten the ring. I wasn''t going to take it apart if it had a real sentimental value or history. But he told me she had found it at an auction in the late 70''s and it had just kind of been sitting in her jewelry box. So I didn''t feel bad about re-setting it. I ended up putting an amethyst into the cluster setting and it''s really pretty. My mom actually wears it now.
 
I feel jewelery should be loved and used, so take my advice with a grain of salt

Step 1) Take a museum quality photo of the ring in it's present condition and frame it with you favorite picture of your Mom and Dad together and happy. Put it up somehwere. This will preserve the ring's history and origional design.

Step 2) Take apart the ring: use 11 of the diamonds and the yellow gold you're allergic to. Have a jewler create a medalion with the yellow gold and set the 11 diamonds in the shape of a 33 on the front and engrave the names of your mom and dad, and their wedding date on the back. Give the medalion as a momento to your mom. When folks ask her about the 33 she can relate the story of her husband's and daughter's love.

Step 3) Use the remaining 22 diamonds alond with 11 colored stones of your choosing to create a peice more to your taste that you can wear and love. Try to set the gems in the 11 X 3 formation if you can (or not) (What about a vertical tablet pendant with 11x3 columns of diamonds and gems, the colored stones randomly interspersed ? or something else your style).

In this manner the important part (the story of your father's love for your mother) is preserved and multiplied - Three things tell the story instead of one hidden in a drawer, and a gift of love is still used and appreciated on a daily basis.

Just my two cents
 
Depends on the piece. If it's unsafe or needs repair, sure I would do something with it, assuming I liked it enough to wear it. If it's not a particularly valuable piece though, and I'm not sure I'd wear it no.

I have a 7 stone, my mother's band from when she was married to my dad. I got it re-shanked and rhodoium plated it so that it looks like white metal and matches the rest of my jewelry. But it bores me to tears, and I've been thinking about setting it in a 3/4 eternity with alternating sapphires, in a bezel set band for a while now. But... it's a functional and nice enough looking piece, and I don't think I'd like it THAT much more if I reset it, so I'd rather spend the money on something entirely new.

My grandmother has a diamond pendant that will probably come to me. The diamonds are really poorly cut, as the pendant was her grandmothers and the diamond just need a re-cut and polish so badly. But... with the carat weight I'd lose and the amount of money I'd have to invest. Probably not worth it to me. I'll probably just hand it down to someone and let them do what they will.

If the entire peice is a work of art though, no... even if it wasn't to my taste I would leave it be. Especially if another family member liked it the way that it was.


With yours, I'd get it rhodium plated and see if you like it in white metal, and if the plating takes care of the allergy. It's the lowest cost thing you can do to 'fix' the major issues with it, while keeping it's integrity intact.

Here's a thread about plating yellow gold: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/experience-rhodium-plating-yellow-gold.133532/
 
I would pair it with a lovely large gemstone solitaire for a RHR ensemble.
 
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