i don''t really think that it would be stirring the pot.. you are going to be his WIFE. yes, they are family..but you are also his family and his needs to repect you and how you feel. i would hope that he would get that and say something to his bratty sister. i am so sorry that you have to deal with this nonsense.Date: 10/9/2008 4:15:34 PM
Author: Morgie44
Glavana - I''m not saying he is right, but FI is very much of the don''t stir the pot mentality, because his sisters kind of rule the family and if they aren''t happy no one is...
Brooklyn - I am pretty sure it was intentional but it is possible I guess that it didn''t occur to her?
Iwanna - Thanks for the comment. I think that is what he should say, but I am afriad that she will turn it into me ''trying to manipulate him and control things'' because that is how things always seem to head whenever he sticks up for me.
Bia - In my opinion she has no reason to dislike me, but her most recent bout of negativity is because I told her thanks, but we weren''t planning on doing STD''s after she offered to make them for us.
There is a lot of history of dislike towards me from his younger sister, but just recently it has come up from the older one (the one in question) I think mostly because she is closest with the younger sister than FI she sees it as taking his or her ''side'' Part of me feels like I should just be happy that she thought of him to get him a ticket and include him in something because they have grown apart in the past few years, I don''t want my feelings to jeopardize that and cause her to exclude him in the future, but still I am really hurt by this apparent disregard.
I think the issue here is that the sister is bringing her husband, but excluding her brother''s FI. I don''t think anyone here would have a problem with siblings spending time together without their spouses. It''s more when they make it obvious that a certain spouse/SO is not wanted.Date: 10/9/2008 4:22:10 PM
Author: mimzy
i wouldn''t be offended. i might make a joke about how they don''t want me there, but i wouldn''t mean it. i don''t think that there is anything wrong with doing things separately, especially if it''s family. i can''t imagine taking issue with stefan doing something with his sister or brother without me. even if you think that she harbors a dislike toward you, it''s not crazy to think that she just might want to spend some time with her brother, especially if you usually are around all the time.
Date: 10/9/2008 4:29:22 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
I think the issue here is that the sister is bringing her husband, but excluding her brother's FI. I don't think anyone here would have a problem with siblings spending time together without their spouses. It's more when they make it obvious that a certain spouse/SO is not wanted.Date: 10/9/2008 4:22:10 PM
Author: mimzy
i wouldn't be offended. i might make a joke about how they don't want me there, but i wouldn't mean it. i don't think that there is anything wrong with doing things separately, especially if it's family. i can't imagine taking issue with stefan doing something with his sister or brother without me. even if you think that she harbors a dislike toward you, it's not crazy to think that she just might want to spend some time with her brother, especially if you usually are around all the time.
I think that this is what I will do. The show is tomorrow and I don''t want it to cause a huge blow out and I know that it will just turn into them saying I am too "analytical" about everything and if he refuses she will say he is rude and ungrateful... Even though we both think she is wrong, I think I''d rather have my feelings hurt a little than put FI in the middle of WW3.
Date: 10/9/2008 4:40:37 PM
Author: mimzy
Date: 10/9/2008 4:29:22 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
I think the issue here is that the sister is bringing her husband, but excluding her brother''s FI. I don''t think anyone here would have a problem with siblings spending time together without their spouses. It''s more when they make it obvious that a certain spouse/SO is not wanted.Date: 10/9/2008 4:22:10 PM
Author: mimzy
i wouldn''t be offended. i might make a joke about how they don''t want me there, but i wouldn''t mean it. i don''t think that there is anything wrong with doing things separately, especially if it''s family. i can''t imagine taking issue with stefan doing something with his sister or brother without me. even if you think that she harbors a dislike toward you, it''s not crazy to think that she just might want to spend some time with her brother, especially if you usually are around all the time.
i don''t know. i just don''t think it''s that horrible for someone to want to spend some time with her husband and brother. i really like my sisters FI, but there are times when i wish it were just me, stefan and my sister. but i don''t don''t generally think that married people (much less engaged people) have to do EVERYTHING together. i enjoy spending time with my family without FI (not because of, but in spite of), as i know he does too, and it would actually bother me if i felt like i could never do anything with them without him (and vice verse).
and sabine made a good point - what were the tickets for? were they expensive? maybe they wanted to treat your brother, but maybe couldn''t afford to treat you, and asking for you to pay for your own ticket would have been equally, if not more, offensive. maybe it''s a show that the sisters'' husband and brother would really enjoy.
Morgie, don''t get me wrong, i''m sorry that you''re feeling so hurt over this. and i''m sure that your suspicion that they don''t like you doesn''t inspire you to be lenient on this. and if they CONSTANTLY invited him to do things without you then i''d take issue with it. but i just don''t think that one concert is a big deal.
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