Wedding Wishing Wells

[Rock Your Socks]

Hey Everyone,

So just a quick question...


Are there any married ladies out there who had a wishing well at their weddings instead of traditional gifts...?

or are there any engaged ladies out there who are considering using a wishing well?

Did it work or were some guests a bit put off by the idea?

I''m thinking of doing something like a white vintage birdcage...

 

[princesss]

I''m neither a bride nor engaged, but personally, unless it was a cultural thing, I''d be a little put off. I really enjoy going through the registry and picking out a gift for my friends that get married. When my friend got married in July, I loved being able to sit and think about what she wanted and what I could enjoy with her in the future. Money just seems a little cold to me. And asking for money is something that makes me uncomfortable, even when I''m not the one asking.

Just thought I''d give a guest''s point of view on this. It really ranges depending on your circle and region and culture, but that''s what my gut reaction was.

 

[LauraSLP07]

I had this wishing well at my wedding....it was pretty easy to assemble and looked beautiful!

Personally, I don''t think any of our guests were offended that we had one on the gift table. In my area, most people give cards/money as wedding gifts, so a wishing well or card box gives them someplace safe to put the envelope in at the reception.

I plan to use the wishing well as a flower planter next spring....I love the fact that I can use it more than once!

 

[mimzy]

don''t most people sort of have both? ah, let me rephrase that - most people have a place for cards (like a birdcage, box, etc) and a place for traditional gifts?

or do you mean specifically letting your guests know that instead of traditional gifts that there will be a wishing well at the reception if anyone wants to give you a gift? if it''s the latter, i wouldn''t do it. the general consensus is that people are put off by people who request money instead of gifts.

 

[Rock Your Socks]

well basically the issue is my wedding is going to be fairly small 60 max. I''m not bothering with a registry because that is not a really a tradition in Australia and i''ve got everything imaginable except stuff like a fridge, washing machine etc and you can''t exactly ask people to buy those sorts of items. I don''t want to end up with 3 toasters or anything like that so thats why i''m steering towards a wishing well....i will post a nice little poem i saw on an invites website...of course if one of my family or friends have their hearts set on giving me a gift that they know i don''t have, than by all means . Its just i dont wont to offend anybody obviously but as i said i don''t want to end up with stuff i don''t need and that turns in dust and clutter! Sorry if that sounds bad....

 

[Rock Your Socks]

here''s the cute little poem...

 

[Pandora II]

Frankly I wouldn't include any information on gifts at all - it's a bit tacky.

If people want to give a gift they will normally contact you/your mother and it's down to you/her to communicate individually either where your registry is or that you have everything and would prefer monetary gifts.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

There has been a lot of heated debate on this topic, and the general consensus is - don't do it. Every wedding planning book and site will tell you it's plain tacky to ask for money, and guests will be put off by it. You will have people who give money as a gift, however it's in poor taste to ask for it..

I understand that you don't "need" anything for your home, but asking people to "contribute" is, to me, almost like charging admission for the wedding by requesting cash only.

ETA: It's almost like including your registry information with your invitations - some people could see that as a request for gifts. As Pandora said, your information should be word of mouth.

 

[Morgie44]

I think it depends on what you are used to seeing at weddings in your area. I am in the midwest, and I expect that there will be a place to put cards at a wedding, because most people give cards and cash. If it is not common in your area, I think I would skip the poem all together, and just have the card box out. People will know what to do with it if they bring cards.

 

[eaglesgal]

In my area, the term "wishing well" is used for bridal showers. People bring kitchen gadgets and other random small gifts (both wrapped and unwrapped) and throw them into the wishing well anonymously. This is in addition to giving hte bride a shower gift.

But as far as mentioning any preference for a gift for the wedding, that''s is not advisable.

 

[eaglesgal]

Sorry for all my typos! Must be past my bedtime!

 

[neatfreak]

It's fine to have a box or cage for cards at the reception of course. It is also fine to not register anywhere. But IMO it is very very tacky to ask guests that they bring a certain kind of gift, regardless of what that is. A cute poem doesn't make it better.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 9/11/2008 10:55:19 PM
Author: neatfreak
It''s fine to have a box or cage for cards at the reception of course. It is also fine to not register anywhere. But IMO it is very very tacky to ask guests that they bring a certain kind of gift, regardless of what that is. A cute poem doesn''t make it better.

Ditto!

Having been on the receiving end of a “cute” poem asking for money, I can tell you that you can dress your request up as much as you want but it will still offend some people. We had friends take this route with their shower and it backfired on them as many of the guests were very offended and found the request utterly tacky.

Just know that being unregistered opens you up to receiving gifts you may have absolutely no use for from stores with bad return policies. You may want to do what my FI and I did which is take a look at items that could use replacing or high use items that you will have to replace eventually. We’re asking for some basic kitchen goods to keep on-hand as immediate replacements if we break or wear out our original item as well as basics we know we will eventually need or use like towels and sheets.