why are you a lurker and not a poster?

[Dancing Fire]

are you shy?...

 

[diva rose]

I was a lurker for a long time before I posted.
I wanted to check what the forum was like before I join.
Also time - before I didn't have any time. Now I have more time to post.

 

[susimoo]

Not shy over here!!!!

Because I talk too much, type to slowly and whilst don't mind sharing my info with my PS pals, I don't necessarily want the whole world to see. (via google, in say, 10 years time )

 

[mayerling]

I guess at first I didn't feel the need to say anything. I was just happy seeing what everyone else had to say.

 

[zoebartlett]

Sometimes it's just easier to lurk and I don't always feel like posting if I don't have anything valuable to add to a particular thread. On the other hand, that hasn't always stopped me.

 

[Asu]

I only tend to post if I have something valuable to add to the conversation/a strong opinion about the topic,or if I have something to show (no money=nothing to show right now,lol),but I check the board every day,and enjoy it.

 

[PinkTower]

I am not shy. I prefer to lurk because so often when one goes to the trouble to help a new poster with a difficult question, explain the reasoning, and illustrate with photographs, the OP fails to acknowledge the response, let alone say thank you.

 

[oranges]

I posted regularly for a while... and then pretty much went back to lurking because I felt that there was a lot of 'catty' posting going on and PS didn't feel as friendly as it once did.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I don't post often because I don't want 60-100 posters giving me their opinions. If I could write the names of 10 members who I respect and ask for their opinions only, I would like to do that. When you have to read pages and pages of the same or similar opinions, it just doesn't seem as if what I say would make a diffe4rence. Perhaps its already been said, or the topic doesn't interest me, or it gets nasty and off track so easily. So, I read what interests me and move on.

How many cat and dog posts can you read? I have 3 beautiful cats, but I dobn't come here to talk about cats. That's just me.

Annette

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I don't post much any more because I'm basically useless here.
I don't post in Rocky Talky because I'm a sight hound: If I like the look of a stone, i buy it regardless of what any report says. It has worked for me, but who else wants to buy like that?
I hardly ever post in Show Me The Bling because the iPhone pictures I take are worse than pathetic.
Can't give good advice on marriages or child rearing because I've never been married and have no children.

 

[isaku5]

I don't post much any more because I'm basically useless here.
I don't post in Rocky Talky because I'm a sight hound: If I like the look of a stone, i buy it regardless of what any report says. It has worked for me, but who else wants to buy like that?
I hardly ever post in Show Me The Bling because the iPhone pictures I take are worse than pathetic.
Can't give good advice on marriages or child rearing because I've never been married and have no children.

Well, Madam, I miss your posts!!! You've posted interesting newspaper articles, really funny jokes and great pictures of your Hermes bags and your bling; told us about shopping expeditions to the King of Prussia Mall as well as Leviev.

As for family, I thought you had a wonderful kitty named Willow (fur babies are definitely family and often they're more well behaved than their human counterparts). I also seem to remember that you had a SO???

See, there are lots of subjects that you could write about. I'm looking forward to your update.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Thanks, Isaku!

 

[GingerP]

I have been a lurker since 2006 and reading consistently since then. I've only posted twice (once under a different name, as I forgot my login info)--once when I was incensed enough (Waffle House wedding) and once when I simply felt like helping with an innocuous shopping mission.

I was first attracted to this site when getting engaged, looking for a ring, and wanting assistance with wedding plans. I never had an issue with which I needed direct assistance, so reading posts were enough to indirectly get help or commiseration. I also was new to the forum world and not used to posting online, so I had little interest in starting. As I phased out of those life stages I began exploring Hangout and Family & Home, since I'm not a gemstone enthusiast. It was the wit, intelligence, and varied viewpoints/personalities of the posters there that generally made me linger, along with the diverse topics--which can range from controversial, thought-provoking, silly and fun, enlightening, to random. I generally only read posts once they have advanced so that I don't have to keep track of too many. So by the time I get to the post it has generally has run its course, my opinion has already been expressed by someone, or I generally don't feel I have anything added to contribute. Plus, I like to stay fairly anonymous.

The reason I have posted today (info you didn't necessarily want ) is to comment on the atmosphere around here lately--it has changed. (This is my opinion only.) It's not because of the PS 2.0 conversion, it's not because of a new influx of members, and it's not because of the administration (far as I know, as I'm not privy to the inside). From what I can tell, posters are getting personal. Whether it's taking things too personally, targeting someone with some ulterior motive, or discussing posts/posters behind PS "doors," things are getting out of hand. Factions are being created (whether intentionally/planned or not)...cliques if you will. Like-minded posters are pairing up and rallying against the other side in individual posts and carrying vendettas to others. There is no openness to other ideas, no introspection, no true discussion (just claims of such), no civil society. It's similar to the political divisions that are becoming exposed in light of the economy and world affairs of today.

Posters claim not to like controversial topics, but like a moth to the flame...you can fill in the blank. WIthin those controversial topics, those who claim to like intelligent discussion will turn on a poster questioning the validity/purpose of the post. Or, they offer their opinion with some snide remarks under the delusion of direct and honest. Then, the like-minded army comes in and supports each other, mocking the target--sometimes aggressively, but most often passively. (And it doesn't matter which side you are on, but majority generally does rule.) In the same turn, no one will post to non-controversial topics and those same call them "inane" and boring.

Much of it is human nature. Much of it reflects our cllimate in the world today. Much of it is just personalities and the clashing of the same. There are no "fixes" to this, so I'm not offering any.

What I am offering is something we can control. Stop responding to people whose posts annoy you, especially if you think they are baiting the population; stop responding to posts that you think are inane and skip those you find boring; post to the topic at hand and leave the personal out of it; and be civil for goodness sake...stop trying to run people off or insult their intelligence or integrity. The less you post to them/feed the beast, the less they will likely post or at least annoy you. If you want to oppose a post or poster, use this infamous "report" button, it must exist somewhere. Chances are, though, that this won't happen because those that cannot do these things like to stir the pot just as much, they just don't like to put the pot on the fire (or initiate).

Otherwise, there is no win (especially for those who start posts) as everything is labeled too inflammatory or too stupid. Then, there are no posts. Then your forum dies. Congratulations.

Poor moderators. I feel for you as of late.

**This is just my opinion...relevant or not...ludicrous, arrogant, long-winded, or just plain dumb. Label it what you want...I don't care how you interpret it. I even think I've spent way too much time on it. Off my soapbox. Thank you.**

 

[Dancing Fire]

The reason I have posted today (info you didn't necessarily want ) is to comment on the atmosphere around here lately--it has changed. (This is my opinion only.) It's not because of the PS 2.0 conversion, it's not because of a new influx of members, and it's not because of the administration (far as I know, as I'm not privy to the inside). From what I can tell, posters are getting personal. Whether it's taking things too personally, targeting someone with some ulterior motive, or discussing posts/posters behind PS "doors," things are getting out of hand. Factions are being created (whether intentionally/planned or not)...cliques if you will. Like-minded posters are pairing up and rallying against the other side in individual posts and carrying vendettas to others. There is no openness to other ideas, no introspection, no true discussion (just claims of such), no civil society. It's similar to the political divisions that are becoming exposed in light of the economy and world affairs of today.

**This is just my opinion...relevant or not...ludicrous, arrogant, long-winded, or just plain dumb. Label it what you want...I don't care how you interpret it. I even think I've spent way too much time on it. Off my soapbox. Thank you.**

i am innocent cuz i'm not on FB...

 

[kenny]

Good post, GingerP.
Welcome.

DF, I don't have the FB strategic advantage either.

 

[bricklayer]

I lurk(ed) for a while because I was really trying to learn all I could, and because I didn't feel I had anything useful to say in response. I joined to show my beautiful diamond, and then with all of the recent craziness on here, I have been very turned off. I don't like the way many members speak to one another on here, there is so much hostility and passive aggression that I don't want to read. There's so much off-forum nonsense that I just decided that maybe posting and getting to "know" anyone on here wasn't really worth it because there were so many people that just were so...mean...that I didn't want to invest in getting to know them, especially since prior to recent I felt they were not particularly mean but not unfriendly either.

I mostly come now to see what people are showing off and then I get my fill and go back to reality.

 

[Autumnovember]

The reason I have posted today (info you didn't necessarily want ) is to comment on the atmosphere around here lately--it has changed. (This is my opinion only.) It's not because of the PS 2.0 conversion, it's not because of a new influx of members, and it's not because of the administration (far as I know, as I'm not privy to the inside). From what I can tell, posters are getting personal. Whether it's taking things too personally, targeting someone with some ulterior motive, or discussing posts/posters behind PS "doors," things are getting out of hand. Factions are being created (whether intentionally/planned or not)...cliques if you will. Like-minded posters are pairing up and rallying against the other side in individual posts and carrying vendettas to others. There is no openness to other ideas, no introspection, no true discussion (just claims of such), no civil society. It's similar to the political divisions that are becoming exposed in light of the economy and world affairs of today.

**This is just my opinion...relevant or not...ludicrous, arrogant, long-winded, or just plain dumb. Label it what you want...I don't care how you interpret it. I even think I've spent way too much time on it. Off my soapbox. Thank you.**

i am innocent cuz i'm not on FB...

Nevermind.

 

[junebug17]

Lately I've been more of a lurker, mainly because I feel I don't have enough expertise or experience about the topic to offer any helpful advice. And sometimes my opinion on a topic has already been stated by others in the thread, so I don't bother. There are also those times I don't really know how I feel about a topic. And yes, I am a somewhat shy person, so I guess that trait carries over to the internet. I guess the bottom line is lately I just feel I don't have much to contribute.

 

[that_someone_special]

I find people that lurk for years.. kinda creepy.

But.. with an open forum, what do ya expect?

 

[aviastar]

For me, it's not shyness, necessarily, but it is intimidating to jump into a conversation (generally speaking, not specific threads) that seems to have been going on for a while, amongst people who already all know each other. Everyone seems to know who has what collections, and pets, and SOs, and who is likely to agree or disagree with who in a discussion; I don't know any of that yet, so I continue to read rather than comment most of the time.

When I did post the first time (in Jewelry Pieces), I recieved a very warm welcome from a few of the long time posters and I continue to see those specific posters responding to new folks, aknowledging response posts, and generally chatting with everyone, but this isn't always the case. Many of my posts go completely unaknowledged and it feels, then, like my contributions are not really helpful or even wanted in the discussion. I attribute this to a couple of things:

Just as I don't know many of the long time members, they don't know me either; I understand it takes a while to recognize someone's screen name.

I absolutely refuse to participate in any of the controversial/baiting threads for all the reasons GingerP so perfectly laid out; so my voice/opinion might get lost in the more mild and neutral topics.

I don't have a fabulous piece or collection yet to share, I'm just here to learn, and I often don't have specific questions to ask either- there's a real learning curve to catch up on some of the diamond and colored stone threads- so other posters can't associate me with any specific project or piece.

What I think should be done:
Nothing-it certainly shouldn't be dictated that it is the responsibility of long time members to adopt every new poster. That said, it is an educational forum and an attitude of graciousness and gratitude would probably go along way towards encouraging new members and lurkers to jump right in, but it has to happen organically. If you have to dictate it, it will never happen, because the community itself isn't actually interested and invested in making the shift for themselves.

I will continue to lurk, and post when I feel I have something to contribute, because I am interested in gemstones and jewelry-simple as that.

 

[bagelboy]

No,not shy. Just a guy who finds it much easier to read posts than to hunt and peck. Plus my spelling skills are very rusty and I dislike reading anything with typos and misspelled words. After all I do have a degree and a dictionary. I have never found the Spell Check tab on here. Most of the time, I really don't have anything more that would help and/or it has already been said in a far better way than I could have said it. There are many women here who are more knowledgeable than I am. I respect that and am happy that we (PS community) have such great members. However, women being women can at times become very snippy and catty with their posts.Of course being a rather nice and peaceful person, I would not want to enter any fray no matter how I feel about any subject. It is far easier just bite my tongue and not post anything. PS has changed, many years ago it used a more friendly and more welcome place.I really miss Reena, she was a bit dirty minded and extremely funny. I come here just to see what going on, to see things from a woman's point of view,laugh at the funny comments and have a better understanding on a wide array of topics. Plus years ago, PS used to give away a diamond pendant with XXX amount of posts, but no longer do. So I have given up on posting. And Madame B, you have some very nice beautiful purses, thanks for showing them to us, and the humour of the post titles. Bean, just because I prefer to lurk does not make me any stranger than you. I also don't FB, or text. Sorry, I am a bit too lazy and not interested in wasting my time doing this. I hope that this helps you Dancing Fire. Are you happy now?