Wedding Who is speaking / delivering a toast at your reception, and in what order?

[bem3231]

Hi everyone -

I''m just curious about this, as I''m currently finalizing our reception program. I looked online but did not find a lot of information about how to arrange it that wasn''t *very* traditional. I would assume that most have shied away from the very traditional approach.

I just put this in another thread, but the way that we have ours planned currently is:

- first toast immediately after ceremony (ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner are all at the same venue): my brother
- blessing prior to dinner: a female friend of mine
- my father will give the first speech to welcome everyone and to welcome FI to the family
- FI''s father will give a similar speech to welcome me to the family
- Toast to the Bride will be made by my bridesman (I have a MOH, a bridesmaid, and a bridesman)
- Toast to the Groom will be made by the best man (FI''s brother)
- my FI and I will speak to thank everyone and to honour the bridal party

Just curious about how others plan to do it?

 

[neatfreak]

We didn't plan it. Just happened! Works fine if you don't want to do a formal program...but then again you have WAY more speeches/toasts planned than we did!

 

[Krissie]

Date: 7/9/2008 10:54:47 AM
Author:bem3231
Hi everyone -

I''m just curious about this, as I''m currently finalizing our reception program. I looked online but did not find a lot of information about how to arrange it that wasn''t *very* traditional. I would assume that most have shied away from the very traditional approach.

I just put this in another thread, but the way that we have ours planned currently is:

- first toast immediately after ceremony (ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner are all at the same venue): my brother
- blessing prior to dinner: a female friend of mine
- my father will give the first speech to welcome everyone and to welcome FI to the family
- FI''s father will give a similar speech to welcome me to the family
- Toast to the Bride will be made by my bridesman (I have a MOH, a bridesmaid, and a bridesman)
- Toast to the Groom will be made by the best man (FI''s brother)
- my FI and I will speak to thank everyone and to honour the bridal party

Just curious about how others plan to do it?

As we are introduced at dinner, D''s parents will say a quick welcome, and then my parents will say a quick welcome. Our priest will say the blessing before dinner. After dinner, we go upstairs to the dance floor for the cake cutting and dancing. Guests will be handed flutes of champagne as they enter the room. My dad will give a toast to the two of us; then D''s best man will give a toast to D, then D will give a toast to me and thank the bridal party.

 

[musey]

Date: 7/9/2008 10:56:31 AM
Author: neatfreak
We didn''t plan it. Just happened! Works fine if you don''t want to do a formal program...but then again you have WAY more speeches/toasts planned than we did!

I''m glad you said this, because that''s one thing that I''d rather not plan! If people feel moved to speak then that''s great, but I don''t want to ask that of anyone

I can only guarantee that our best man will want to speak, because I know that he''s like that.

 

[Pandora II]

Speeches in the UK are long (about 45 minutes total minimum) and one of the main highlights of a wedding - one of the bits I'm most looking forward to. my father started writing his last year, the Bestman about 6 months ago and FI started writing his 2 weeks ago. He is TERRIFIED what his bestman will say - he should be, I've been providing ammunition!

First Speech: Father of the Bride - thanks people for coming, talks about his daughter, her life and what he thinks of his new son-in-law. Proposes toast to the health & happiness of the bride & groom.

Second Speech: The Groom - thanks everyone for coming on behalf of himself and his wife (cue huge cheers), thanks the host, thanks his parents for making him a fine upstanding citizen, says nice things about the bride, thanks the Bestman and groomsmen and proposes toast to the Bridesmaids.

Last Speech: The Bestman: Accepts thanks on behalf of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, says nice things about the bride, tells stories about the groom in his younger days and what a great choice he has made etc etc. Read out any messages or telegrams. Proposes toast to the Bride & Groom.

It is very unusual for anyone else to speak - although sometimes the Bride does a speech as well.

Normally guests run a sweepstake - everyone guesses how long the combined speeches will run, writes it on a sheet of paper, pays a pound and the closest guess wins the lot.

Speeches are either directly before the meal, or over coffee. Mine will be over coffee.

 

[Sabine]

After we''re introduced, we''ll have my dad do the first to welcome/thank everyone, my MOH will give one, FI''s 2 best men will each give one, and then FI''s dad will wrap up and give a blessing, which will transition us into the meal.

 

[Delster]

Our format is the same as in the UK. The speeches are the one thing most people reeeally look forward to at a wedding! The last wedding I was at was a friend of mine who is delightfully exuberant and flamboyant and his best man actually did a 'This is Your Life' on him - complete with the red book that he presented to the groom at the end. We howled with laughter all the way through. It was fantastic!

Best men here are expected to 'dish the dirt' on the groom but they have to walk a fine line - it's good-natured ribbing and a gentle degree of embarrassment only. Saying anything inappropriate in a best man's speech is very much frowned on.

Also the speeches happen after dinner, usually just after the tea and coffee. Any toasts happen at this time too. There are never toasts before or during dinner, or clinking of glasses during dinner - you just don't interrupt Irish folks from munching on their spuds!

I was at a wedding in the States once and I got seriously irritated at all the toasts during dinner - they kept trying to get the couple to kiss and then everyone had to toast - I mean, when were we meant to eat???

Date: 7/9/2008 12:02:16 PM
Author: Pandora II
Normally guests run a sweepstake - everyone guesses how long the combined speeches will run, writes it on a sheet of paper, pays a pound and the closest guess wins the lot.

Pandora we do this too, only in typical Irish fashion, whoever is furthest off the mark has to buy the first round for the table!!! Although oftentimes the winner of the sweepstake offers to discharge the 'debt' so it all works out fair and square

(for those in the US, there is never an open bar at an Irish wedding)

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 7/9/2008 12:28:09 PM
Author: Sabine
After we''re introduced, we''ll have my dad do the first to welcome/thank everyone, my MOH will give one, FI''s 2 best men will each give one, and then FI''s dad will wrap up and give a blessing, which will transition us into the meal.

That''s me!!! Sorry, I''m a little excited, LOL.

We had our 2 best men and one of my MOHs (sabine) give toasts. Everyone forgot to actuall say "to the bride and groom" though so then another friend who was in the wedding party took the mic and did that. I don''t remember what order they went in.

 

[anchor31]

Oh cr@p... I haven''t thought about speeches AT ALL.

I know my dad will welcome our guests and all that, and I guess I should say something for the guests, our BP and our parents... But I''ll probably leave it at that. I''ve never liked speeches anyway!

 

[karasue91]

I'm really stressed about this, and I haven't asked anyone to give a speech yet. My parents are divorced, and FI's parents are paying for the majority of the wedding, my dad contributed a little, and we are paying the rest. My mom and her husband aren't paying for anything. So, I don't know how to work the speeches, I really don't care who pays for what, but I really can't stand my step father so it's not like I really want the two of them to get up there and welcome FI to the family, and my dad is single so I don't want him to feel uncomfortable getting up there to give a speech either. Would it be weird for them to separately get up and welcome FI to the family? Is this even necessary? I know FI's dad will give a speech, especially since they are paying for most of it and the large majority of the guests are their friends and family....

Ugh. Anyone have a similar situation? Oh, and I guess I should ask my MOH to give a speech since the best man is giving one right?

ETA: I would kind of like to have my 11-year-old brother give a little toast too...would it be weird? He's an usher, but not really involved otherwise....

 

[bee*]

Date: 7/9/2008 12:39:58 PM
Author: Delster
Our format is the same as in the UK. The speeches are the one thing most people reeeally look forward to at a wedding! The last wedding I was at was a friend of mine who is delightfully exuberant and flamboyant and his best man actually did a ''This is Your Life'' on him - complete with the red book that he presented to the groom at the end. We howled with laughter all the way through. It was fantastic!


Best men here are expected to ''dish the dirt'' on the groom but they have to walk a fine line - it''s good-natured ribbing and a gentle degree of embarrassment only. Saying anything inappropriate in a best man''s speech is very much frowned on.


Also the speeches happen after dinner, usually just after the tea and coffee. Any toasts happen at this time too. There are never toasts before or during dinner, or clinking of glasses during dinner - you just don''t interrupt Irish folks from munching on their spuds!

I was at a wedding in the States once and I got seriously irritated at all the toasts during dinner - they kept trying to get the couple to kiss and then everyone had to toast - I mean, when were we meant to eat???

Date: 7/9/2008 12:02:16 PM

Author: Pandora II

Normally guests run a sweepstake - everyone guesses how long the combined speeches will run, writes it on a sheet of paper, pays a pound and the closest guess wins the lot.

Pandora we do this too, only in typical Irish fashion, whoever is furthest off the mark has to buy the first round for the table!!! Although oftentimes the winner of the sweepstake offers to discharge the ''debt'' so it all works out fair and square

(for those in the US, there is never an open bar at an Irish wedding)

Ours are the same but over here the grooms father stands up before the groom and normally welcomes the bride to the family etc. I love the speeches-they''re normally my fave part of the day!

 

[zoebartlett]

We''re only having two toasts at our reception: my dad''s and the best man''s. I''m not sure what order they''ll go in, but I''d ike my dad''s to be first. He''ll probably begin by thanking everyone for coming, etc., and then he''ll lead into his toast. I have no idea what the best man will do, but I know he''s been working on it for a couple of weeks.

Did anyone''s husband give a speech at the reception? I''ve never been to a wedding here in the US where that happened, but my friend got married in Ireland and her new husband gave a great toast/speech. My FI isn''t planning on saying anything at the reception, but the two of us will say something at the RD.