Who WHO IS KRISTY DARLING?

[diamondfan]

You wear that big sucker and be proud! I agree it is not likely shirinkage but more like, yeah, I am used to this puppy now!

I am so happy you are enjoying it, you should and I am sure it is even more dazzling in person!!!

I know what you mean about your mom. I am sure she is getting the best care, and your thoughts and love are coming through.

I am glad that you posted and I am getting to know you even better from this. I am excited to read what you have to say...

Have a great day...

 

[Pearberry]

Thanks kristy! In the meantime, wear your beautiful LM creation in the best of health!!

 

[sanfranciscoellen]

Hi Kristy! It has been so much fun to read about you and your life.

One aside: we went through the god awful San francisco kindergarten search for our son two years ago, and did both private and public school applications. We ended up with our first choice public school, and both private schools said yes too. That week I learned the lesson that even good decisions are difficult to make! Anyway, we decided to go with the public school and have been really really happy so far. Part of the unfortunate situation in SF is that the buzz is so horrible about the public schools....I certainly was a victim of that too...but the reality is that you can have a great experience. Who knows where we will be as the years go on, but every year we''re in the public school system is a year we can budget some bling

!

I''d love to hear more about your job...are you full-time? Are your kids at home or in school while you work? How''s that commute to Oakland....

 

[sanfranciscoellen]

OK, Kristy...what''s this about thinking about huge life changes? New neighborhood, husband switching jobs, you becoming an at home mama?

Wow....so much to think about!

Where would you move? Still in SF?

 

[KristyDarling]

Hi Wallermama

Yes, possibly some very big life changes on the horizon. And as you know, with kids, every little move is 10x scarier and more complicated! DH is about ready to implode, his job is THAT toxic. He works in an investments field that can only be described as brutal, cutthroat, and like being in a pressure cooker. The verbal abuse that he and the other guys endure on a daily basis is quite disturbing. His daily stress level is alarmingly high. His work day starts at 5:30am (gets up at 4:30am) and he cranks until 5:30pm every day, and it's been insinuated that he should be working until at least 8pm!!! I wouldn't last 5 minutes in his field. It's an elite group of analysts and they are capable of making a lot of money....but also losing a lot, too. When they're experiencing a slump (like right now), the kitchen gets boiling-hot and the screaming, finger-pointing, cussing, and insults can really take their toll. DH is down in the dumps and very, very frustrated. He's trying his best but it's never enough. He is great at what he does, but when people are riding his @ss like this, he becomes almost immobilized with frustration. So last night, we had a loooong talk about our options. He was ready to resign TODAY but I talked him out of it. I said that since we have a family now, his career moves need to be thoughtful and measured. He can quit but not until after he's lined up a new gig. With our enormous mortgage, it's the only way. One option we discussed is that he could take a much lower-paying job in a related field...that way he'd have quality of life and more time to spend with his family. It'd mean we'd have to move out of our beloved house and into a smaller place (perhaps somewhere in the outer Sunset, or the 'burbs) and we'd let our nanny go because we wouldn't be able to afford her. I don't make enough to cover her salary and if DH's salary goes down, we definitely wouldn't be able to swing it. Hence, the reason why I'd probably become a SAHM.

The update now is DH had a long talk with his boss this morning and even told him that he was contemplating switching careers, but his boss persuaded him to stick around and reassured him that he is indeed good at his job. DH says he'll give it another shot, but he doubts he'll be there long-term. So, the planning for the future begins!! I'm sad that we might have to sell this house (and even sadder that it's NOT a seller's market right now!), but it's just one of the big changes we'd have to make. I even told DH last night that I'd have no problem selling my new ring if it came to that. I'm trying to remain calm and level-headed since DH hasn't quit his job (yet), but heading toward the unknown is damn scary!!! We have a comfy lifestyle right now, I'm free to pursue my career (quite a low-paying field but personally rewarding), and we can afford occasional luxuries (the biggest of which was my LM ring!)....but all that could very well change in the near future.

Wallermama -- I'm sorry I hadn't responded to your prevous post! So you survived the SF kindergarten search rat race, huh? Which school did you get into? I've heard SOOOO many horror stories about the process -- they made my skin crawl! I'd love for my kids to attend West Portal Elementary (within walking distance), but from what I understand they have only a 60% chance of getting in at best since it's one of the most popular public schools. That means they have a whopping 40% chance of NOT getting in, yikes! Which means I'd have to enter the private school rat race, too....which I'm just NOT psychologically or financially prepared to do. I mean, 1,000 word essays about "what makes my 4-year-old special and unique" and "interviewing" 4-year-olds???? PLEASE!!! It just seems wrong to have to complete with 500 other parents for the "privilege" of spending $15-20K a year on freakin' first grade!

DH and I decided awhile ago that we're going to attempt to move to the 'burbs by 2008, when Timmy starts kindergarten. Hopefully someplace like Burlingame, if we can swing it. I'd like to be 100% assured that my kids will go to a great public school, rather than crossing my fingers and toes and praying that they'll be part of the 60% accepted to a nearby top SF public school. It's HARD being a San Francisco parent!!!

 

[tawn]

KristyDarling...

I want to hear the wedding reception story if you''re willing to share and have the time! I love hearing that other husbands can be big dorks like mine can be...but can still be wonderful partners at the same time!

Good luck in the "husband" stressful job dept! My husband works in a different sort of pressure cooker, but it''s hard on the whole family isn''t it! I can''t wait until he moves on...

 

[sanfranciscoellen]

Kristy,

Yes, it is sometimes hard to be a parent in SF. I totally agree. But I also love it and my heart aches when I think of the burbs, as nice as they are. We chose to stay here in the city, but that means living with three kids in a flat, where we can feel pretty clausterphobic. There are so many pros and cons to weigh. The biggest for us, though, was keeping my husband commute free. We already feel like he is gone too much. But my brother and his wife commute to downtown SF from Mill Valley and say it isn''t bad. It would just be a total change for us, since we like having one car and a Vespa for hubbie, rather than two cars.

My son is at Claire Lilienthal, which is a great public school, like West Portal. My brother lived at 16th bewtn Santiago and Riviera before defecting to Marin, so he must not have been too far from you! We joked that he lived in "Forest Heights Adjacent".

If I were you, I would wait to do the preemptive move before the kindergarten process happens....use that as a last resort if things don''t work out here in SF. If you are happy where you are and have the option of staying, it works out for people through the many admission rounds and waitlists, and you have a great shot if you are that close to West Portal. While my brother is happy in Mill Valley, I think he wishes he had tried to do the kindergarten process before deciding it would be impossible.

The financial world sucks, as your husband is experiencing. Almost every guy I know is in investment banking here or there, and here there and everywhere SUCKS. My husband is in tech, but works for an investment bank too. His tiny bank is great, but it is exactly as you describe...more life balance, less stress = less money. But sometimes it is a sacrifice worth making. And sometimes not. (NOOOOOOO!!!!! DOn''t sell the LEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!) That said, he works with a bunch of people that have made that decision, which makes for a very balanced and extremely family-friendly work environment. The sharks go work at places like you husband''s bank to torture him

.

Hugs, Kristy! It will all work out.

 

[Mara]

Kristy...I read what you wrote about your husband having a tough time with work. I can sympathize, Greg is kind of in a similar experience as well. We don't live in SF but it is expensive to live in this area regardless, and he is the primary breadwinner though my income is a great supplement to our lifestyle. He talks about leaving the field and doing something else that he would like better, and getting paid less if necessary...but he went to MBA school to do exactly what he is doing now. He's also a huge achiever and perfectionist in terms of his career, so while he IS unhappy with his current situation, he secretly likes the importance and stress that comes along with it, it means 'productivity' in his mind. It's a long convoluted story! Anyway...I wish that he could do something that would make him happier, but he's not sure what else he could do or where to go corporate wise where it wouldn't be just as stressful, especially at his level, if he went somewhere else it'd probably be MORE stressful and more of a mixed bag. Anyway, long story short....I hope you guys can work it out and you know the burbs aren't so bad!!!

It's warmer down here!! And DO NOT sell your beautiful ring, you know you wouldn't get nearly 1/2 of what it's worth, so it's better to think of it as just a sunk cost.

 

[dbgaap]

OK, subject change- just for a minute, anyway...
I play violin. Studied as a kid (where did you do your B.M?) and majored in it in college. Played all sorts of gigs til I got it all out of my system, then went back to school at night to get my CPA (and a REAL job)

I gotta say- you probably were one of those kids who scared the bejeezus outta me! I just sorta played vioin and accidentally got good at it, and turned it into a fun-filled college degree.

Every time I came up against a seasoned pro like you, I about peed my pants!!

TG- I don''t have a scanner or I would post a pic from my playing days. I think the weidest thing I ever wore was a gown that looked like something from Mozart''s time. I was part of a chamber group hired to play a ball and they rented costumes for us!
The rest of the time I just wore black.

 

[pinkflamingo]

Hi Kristy!
I play violin and viola as well. Were you a Suzuki kid? I was in a tour group in Wisconsin in the 80''s. I started when I was 3 and a half and got my undergrad and masters in violin and viola performance. I loved it when I was young but I have grown to hate it- it is a curse and a blessing to me.

 

[marvel]

Date: 5/16/2006 4:37:06 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 5/1/2006 1:46:28 AM
Author: KristyDarling
I was once on the Bozo Show.

More little tidbits to come!

ROFLMAO.. you''re so silly..

I remember Bozo the clown! Do you remember Romper Room?

 

[sanfranciscoellen]

OK, I figured this was the best place to nag you about your avatar.

SHOW....ME....THE LEON!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CrownJewel]

Hi KD! I know this thread was started a while ago, but I''m new so I wanted to say hi! I enjoyed reading your story and always love seeing your beautiful diamond in your avatar. I was very touched by your relationship with your family and especially your mom.

I learned to play music with the piano, and then played violin from when I was 10 until I was 20. Even though I don''t play anymore, I believe all those years of "ear-training" and practice and discipline becomes a strong foundation for the type of person that you are. And I love talking to other musicians. It hits such a sweet spot in my heart!

Oh oh. But I also wanted to ask about your stint as a neuropsych research associate. I''m currently a postbaccalaureate premed, and I''ve always told people I''m in medicine for the research and neuropsych is one field that really gets me excited. How did you get into that and then out of it?

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 10/20/2006 4:04:58 PM
Author: CrownJewel

Oh oh. But I also wanted to ask about your stint as a neuropsych research associate. I'm currently a postbaccalaureate premed, and I've always told people I'm in medicine for the research and neuropsych is one field that really gets me excited. How did you get into that and then out of it?

Hi CJ! Welcome to PS.

I got into neuropsych completely by accident. At the time, I had already taken some post-bac coursework, was contemplating a career switch into science and wanted to get my feet wet. I browsed my local job listings and found the neuropsych associate position. They hired me for some reason.

That lab folded (it was headed by a totally nutso PI) and I found a similar neuropsych position at UC San Francisco shortly thereafter. I liked the work, but it was limiting in that unless I had an MD or PhD, i wasn't gonna get to learn or do much more. And then, I decided to leave my UCSF job (I had been there 2 years) to continue my postbac coursework, but 3 months in I got pregnant and had to go on partial bedrest. After I had my first child, I went back to my former company (from 5 years prior) and started with the health editing stuff. I just didn't feel the need to go back into lab research.

Best of luck to you with your post-bac coursework and application to med school! I think it's great that your primary interest is in research. The more bright minds in academia the better!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I am glad to see this get a bump!!! I humbly am thrilled...

How are things going now?

What is new and exciting in your world these days?

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 10/30/2006 1:44:55 AM
Author: diamondfan
I am glad to see this get a bump!!! I humbly am thrilled...

How are things going now?

What is new and exciting in your world these days?

You''re so sweet, DF.

Not much new and exciting is going on, I''m afraid. Then again, I kinda like it that way....predictable, comfy, easy. Hehe. I''m staying home from work today because this god-awful cold I''ve been fighting for 2 weeks has escalated into something worse -- headache, body aches, congestion (but no fever, hm!). I felt bad enough that I''m keeping my son home from preschool because I didn''t feel well enough to take him. We just got back from our trip on Saturday so we''re also fighting jet lag (16 hour time difference). Not fun! My daughter is doing great, though at 21 months she is at the peak of whining and tantrum throwing. It drives me nuts sometimes. My hubby has found his groove again at work so, for now at least, he won''t be switching jobs and I won''t have to take on more work to help make up for any slack in his salary. You never know tho, his field is so volatile and full of fair-weather bosses, so we''ll see how he fares these next few months.

As for new jewelry projects, I''m researching various eternity band options.

DH didn''t get me a birthday nor 5-year anniversary gift this year, with the understanding that I''d look into various bands and just go to him with ideas/price quotes when I was ready. I''ll probably ask for a 3 tcw eternity band as my combined birthday-anniversary-Christmas gift this year. Gotta love bundling!

 

[reader]

Ok, off the wall questions: does your mom enjoy jewelry? What music do you listen to now?

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 10/31/2006 11:22:26 PM
Author: reader
Ok, off the wall questions: does your mom enjoy jewelry? What music do you listen to now?

Hi Reader -- my Mom is a FREAK for jewelry. For as long as I can remember, she has loved all things sparkly. I guess I know where I got it from.

Her collection consists almost exclusively of yellow gold pieces from the ''80s, when she picked up most of her goodies.

Right now, I listen to music only during my commute, sadly. I listen to 92.7 which is a dance music station here in SF (a necessity if I don''t want to fall asleep at the wheel), as well as 91.1, our local jazz station. Occasionally I''ll tap into our classical music station but ironically, listening to it these days makes me feel sad and guilty since I''m not playing anymore myself. I have a beautiful grand piano but if I even go near it, my kids go ballistic and want to sit on my lap and bang on the keys. They won''t leave me alone even for 5 minutes with it.

My taste in classical music is fairly popular, nothing too unusual or underground. My fave composers are: Schubert, Brahms, Schumann, Dvorak, Liszt, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff, and Beethoven. Yes, I love the Romantics.

I also love Bach, Ravel, Villa-Lobos, Gershwin, Ives, Copland, Grieg, Stravinsky, Faure, and Shostakovich. Not a huge fan of Mozart, Mahler, or Schoenberg and the other serialists. (atonal is not my thing) Some of my fave conductors are Barbirolli and Solti. Fave violinist is Anne-Sophie Mutter. Fave cellist is Jacqueline DuPre. Fave pianist is Glen Gould. Fave soprano is Kiri Te Kanawa. Perhaps my all-time fave piece of music is the Faure Requiem, but it''s impossible to pick just one piece.

In my child-free days I''d spend hours with my CDs, just listening, or banging away on my piano. But it''s been a long time.

 

[CrownJewel]

KristyDarling,
I don''t mean to bring up any bittersweet memories, but I was at this Passion for Music concert at Carnegie Hall this weekend. It was a showcase of international young prodigies, basically. The youngest was an 8 year old pianist from Japan who began playing at 3 years old. The oldest was maybe a 19 year old violinist from America (I remember being at one of her concerts when she was 12!) It was really amazing. My fiance and I were commmenting on how it''s MORE fun to watch the children play these pieces, than watching a full orchestra. These kids were so dramatic on stage, so focused, and just brilliant. I totally got nostalgic at the concert.

I was wondering, will your children play any instruments?

By the way, I''m going to start searching the NYC job listings for neuropsych positions. Haha...it''ll be unlikely that I get to be KristyDarlingII, but who knows?

 

[Allisonfaye]

KD: I just read your story for the first time. You have a very interesting life. I was touched by what you said about how the Asians treat their elderly.

Is that where you were on your trip that you mentioned?

I have two girls around the same ages as your boys. Sorry that you are having to deal with the terrible twos. We have been pretty lucky in that regard although I hear sometimes the threes can be worse.

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 11/1/2006 8:35:45 PM
Author: CrownJewel
KristyDarling,

I don''t mean to bring up any bittersweet memories, but I was at this Passion for Music concert at Carnegie Hall this weekend. It was a showcase of international young prodigies, basically. The youngest was an 8 year old pianist from Japan who began playing at 3 years old. The oldest was maybe a 19 year old violinist from America (I remember being at one of her concerts when she was 12!) It was really amazing. My fiance and I were commmenting on how it''s MORE fun to watch the children play these pieces, than watching a full orchestra. These kids were so dramatic on stage, so focused, and just brilliant. I totally got nostalgic at the concert.

I was wondering, will your children play any instruments?

By the way, I''m going to start searching the NYC job listings for neuropsych positions. Haha...it''ll be unlikely that I get to be KristyDarlingII, but who knows?

Hi CJ! Good luck with the job search! Also let your post-bac instructors know that you''re looking. Let everyone on your contact list know that you''re looking! Don''t be shy, and just get out there and start asking around!

You never know if a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend might be looking for someone like you!

Carnegie is amazing isn''t it? I envy people who live in NYC, that they can just hop down to the Hall to see the world''s BEST any time they want. My memories of performing there are pretty foggy by now, I was only 8. I think I was having more fun just hanging out with my fellow musician friends, goofing off on the tour bus!

As for my own kids, sure they''ll play instruments....*if* they want to. I''m not going to force them into it or make them keep playing if they absolutely hate it and have no interest. I think most kids need to be AT LEAST 4 or 5 before they''re mature enough to start playing, since it requires sooooo much discipline. For now, I''m happy to let my kids be kids, running around and getting dirty at the park!

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 11/22/2006 2:58:10 PM
Author: Allisonfaye
KD: I just read your story for the first time. You have a very interesting life. I was touched by what you said about how the Asians treat their elderly.

Is that where you were on your trip that you mentioned?

I have two girls around the same ages as your boys. Sorry that you are having to deal with the terrible twos. We have been pretty lucky in that regard although I hear sometimes the threes can be worse.

Yup, DS and I just got back from visiting my Mom about 3 weeks ago. We had a great time with her....although she was tired and weak, boy and grandma bonded closely. It was a trip full of wonderful memories.

Now that DS is 3 1/2 and 90% potty trained (still wears pullups at night), he is super easy. Plus he''s getting a lot fewer time-outs these days since he''s a little more mature and easier to reason with. (still really whiny though) As for DD....ha! She''s another story. She''s 22 months now and already exhibiting symptoms of the terrible 2s. I can tell she''s going to be a much bigger handful than her brother was at this age! Is your younger daughter more of a spitfire than your older? A lot of people have warned me how younger siblings are harder to handle!

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 11/22/2006 3:48:57 PM
Author: KristyDarling

Date: 11/22/2006 2:58:10 PM
Author: Allisonfaye
KD: I just read your story for the first time. You have a very interesting life. I was touched by what you said about how the Asians treat their elderly.

Is that where you were on your trip that you mentioned?

I have two girls around the same ages as your boys. Sorry that you are having to deal with the terrible twos. We have been pretty lucky in that regard although I hear sometimes the threes can be worse.

Yup, DS and I just got back from visiting my Mom about 3 weeks ago. We had a great time with her....although she was tired and weak, boy and grandma bonded closely. It was a trip full of wonderful memories.

Now that DS is 3 1/2 and 90% potty trained (still wears pullups at night), he is super easy. Plus he''s getting a lot fewer time-outs these days since he''s a little more mature and easier to reason with. (still really whiny though) As for DD....ha! She''s another story. She''s 22 months now and already exhibiting symptoms of the terrible 2s. I can tell she''s going to be a much bigger handful than her brother was at this age! Is your younger daughter more of a spitfire than your older? A lot of people have warned me how younger siblings are harder to handle!

I am glad you had a nice trip.

We have a No Whining policy. Whenever DD whines, I just emphatically say ''NO whining''. I try NOT to give in to anything she asks for when whining so I don''t inadvertently reward the whining. It is funny because when I say that, 9 times out of 10, she repeats what she said and tries to be really stoic and serious. Makes me laugh.

So far, I think my second daughter is going to be more of a challenge. She is easier in some ways...easier to get to bed, eats better, less accident prone but she has a little mischieveness (spell? braindead today) streak in her that I can definately see. She bites me sometimes now when I nurse her and she thinks it is funny. She goes over and pulls my drapes and then looks at me because she KNOWS that is not allowed. It is hard not to laugh because it is kind of funny. But I have to remind her who is in charge here.