Who does the laundry?

[Aoife]

When our DD's were little, and my DH traveled all the time, I did all the laundry. The girls started doing their own laundry in their teens, about the time they started getting picky about what went in the dryer and what needed to be air dried. Now both DD's are grown and married, and the DH travels less and works from home, so I do my laundry, and he does his. We have separate laundry hampers, so it's not like we sort for our own clothes and ignore everything else. He takes any of his shirts that need to be ironed to the dry cleaners, and I do my own ironing. I am the one who washes sheets and towels, though, and I'm also the one who bleaches and sanitizes kitchen dishrags and dishtowels. We both load and unload the dishwasher. It works very efficiently for us.

 

[elrohwen]

I think everyone doing their own laundry is inefficient as well. DH does most of ours - he wears the most clothes by far (I don't know how he goes through so many shirts in one day) so he doesn't mind being the one to do it. Some weeks I pick up the slack, and I usually help fold. I'm usually the one to decide it's time to wash the towels or the sheets though.

 

[Haven]

I guess I can understand not doing all the laundry because of lack of space in the machine, and lack of time - assuming there's multiple loads to be done. But purposely selecting only your own clothes to do seems a bit strange.

For those of you that do your own laundry, do you also do just your own dishes (assuming no dishwasher)? As in, you go to the sink, pick out the dishes that you used, and only do those?

We don't have to purposely select our own clothes, we keep separate hampers. It's really not a big deal. I'm surprised that you seem to have such a problem with people who do their own laundry!

In our house whoever doesn't prepare the meal does the dishes. I don't see doing dishes as an adequate analogy to doing laundry--dishes are all washed in the same manner, and everyone should know how to properly care for all of the dishes in the house. Clothes are a completely different issue--some items should be handwashed, others only washed and not dried, etc.

I really don't care *how* other people take care of their laundry, as long as they don't touch mine!

 

[mayerling]

I'm surprised that you seem to have such a problem with people who do their own laundry!

Haven, I didn't mean to sound confrontational. I really don't have a problem with people doing their own laundry. I'm just trying to understand the mindset behind it.

As for dishes, it's not only a matter of who cooked dinner. For instance, since we don't have a dishwasher (not very common in old houses in the UK), we only do dishes once a day after dinner. However, we use dishes all day (breakfast, snacks). If I'm home all day and FI is at work, it means I've used a lot more dishes than he has in the day. If it was time for the dishes to be washed and he only did the ones he used (because doing all the ones I used during the day would take up too much time, effort, etc.), I would think it strange.

 

[artdecogirl]

I like doing laundry! I think it is my inner obsessive compulsive at work but it is very calming for me to fold things a certain way and put them away, bringing order to chaos. And ironing ooooooooh don't get me started, all those nice crisp seams and the smell of spray starch Sigh....... DH does most of the cooking and dishes and I do the laundry, fair trade off I think. When the kids were home I still did it but the clothes had to be in the laundry room when I had a full load or they did not get done until the next full load.

 

[E B]

I do! It's my favorite chore, actually.

 

[Haven]

I'm surprised that you seem to have such a problem with people who do their own laundry!

Haven, I didn't mean to sound confrontational. I really don't have a problem with people doing their own laundry. I'm just trying to understand the mindset behind it.

As for dishes, it's not only a matter of who cooked dinner. For instance, since we don't have a dishwasher (not very common in old houses in the UK), we only do dishes once a day after dinner. However, we use dishes all day (breakfast, snacks). If I'm home all day and FI is at work, it means I've used a lot more dishes than he has in the day. If it was time for the dishes to be washed and he only did the ones he used (because doing all the ones I used during the day would take up too much time, effort, etc.), I would think it strange.

I don't think you sound confrontation, Mayerling. I think "problem" was a poor word choice on my part--I just find it amusing that you're so curious about this, that's all.

We have a teeny tiny dishwasher, it's very strange actually, and we only run it every few days. (It's just the two of us and we hand wash many of our dishes.) Whoever comes home first and has time to do the daytime dishes is the one who does them. My husband is home at various points throughout the day to eat meals, so he will sometimes leave his dishes in the sink if he doesn't have time to wash them before his next client. If they're there when I come home, I wash them. We don't like to leave dishes in the sink at all though, in general, so we'll usually do our dishes right when we're finished with them. We're pretty much clean-as-you-use with everything but clothes, which we store up until the last possible second because we both hate doing laundry. For example, we sweep the kitchen floor after we're finished fixing food in there, every time. We don't wait for the end of the day to sweep or anything.

ETA: One of us will usually clear both of our dishes and do them after every meal if we're together. We're definitely not "That's your dish, you wash it" people. Not that I'd see anything wrong with that method, either.

 

[NOYFB]

Like Haven, DH and I do our own laundry and have separate laundry baskets/hampers. It works fine for us and we don't have to worry about ruining each other's clothes. Before we bought our condo and didn't have a washer/dryer in unit, I would be the one who went to the laundromat, but that was also because I was going to school during the day and working weekends, and DH was working full time and it was easier for me just to get it all done at once after class.

As far as dishes, we both do them. Usually whoever doesn't cook will clean up, or we will clean the dishes as we cook. It has never been an issue.

 

[Jennifer W]

I guess I can understand not doing all the laundry because of lack of space in the machine, and lack of time - assuming there's multiple loads to be done. But purposely selecting only your own clothes to do seems a bit strange.

For those of you that do your own laundry, do you also do just your own dishes (assuming no dishwasher)? As in, you go to the sink, pick out the dishes that you used, and only do those?

I think laundry is a little more personal than washing up. If DH breaks or otherwise ruins an Ikea plate for example, I don't care. A destroyed Chloe shirt (his finest moment to date) or a boiled cashmere sweater, or a load of grey underwear because he washed it with a black sock has the potential to cause disharmony in a way that crockery and pans probably don't. Without wanting to sound snarky, why does it bother you? We can do our own thing, you can do yours.

 

[mrscushion]

I actually really like doing laundry and I do it for both of us (me and FI).

 

[mayerling]

Without wanting to sound snarky, why does it bother you? We can do our own thing, you can do yours.

I don't think I said it bothers me. I said I found it strange and that I'd like to understand the reasoning behind it.

 

[panda08]

DH does all of the washing and drying and I fold, sometimes He also does the dishes, by hand, as we don't have a dishwasher. But I do all the cooking and I try to help him a bit by washing what I can as I cook.

 

[lliang_chi]

Colors and whites DH does most of the time. I occasionally will run it. My delicates I wash, dry/hang myself. Towels & sheets I always do myself.

 

[iheartscience]

I guess I can understand not doing all the laundry because of lack of space in the machine, and lack of time - assuming there's multiple loads to be done. But purposely selecting only your own clothes to do seems a bit strange.

For those of you that do your own laundry, do you also do just your own dishes (assuming no dishwasher)? As in, you go to the sink, pick out the dishes that you used, and only do those?

I think laundry is a little more personal than washing up. If DH breaks or otherwise ruins an Ikea plate for example, I don't care. A destroyed Chloe shirt (his finest moment to date) or a boiled cashmere sweater, or a load of grey underwear because he washed it with a black sock has the potential to cause disharmony in a way that crockery and pans probably don't. Without wanting to sound snarky, why does it bother you? We can do our own thing, you can do yours.

Ditto. Here's the reason for most of us, mayerling!

 

[mayerling]

OK, but wouldn't it be possible for somebody to watch how they take care of your clothes the same way the take care of theirs?

 

[Jennifer W]

That's exactly the point - he DID take care of my clothes as he takes care of his own. He threw them all in together at a random temperature - exactly how he washes his own stuff. He just doesn't wear silk or cashmere, or white bras, come to that. Honestly, it wasn't worth the drama, just to have my laundry done, so I do it myself. That's as much as there is to it.

 

[iheartscience]

OK, but wouldn't it be possible for somebody to watch how they take care of your clothes the same way the take care of theirs?

It could be possible but it hasn't been in my case. Despite years of scolding (and multiple rolled up newspapers to the nose) my husband will still try to get all helpful by washing and then DRYING my clothes. The ONLY things of mine that can go in the dryer are socks, underwear (but not bras) and most pajamas (not certain pajama pants because then the inseam will get too short to keep my ankles warm).

Some t-shirts that aren't nice/good t-shirts that I wear in public may also be dried, as well as soccer socks, shorts and jerseys, and certain work out clothing. All other clothing, including tops (button ups, tank tops, assorted cute tops, t-shirts that are worn in public, sweaters), bottoms (jeans, jean shorts, dress pants, skirts) are not to be dried. The aforementioned items must also be washed in COLD water only, then smoothed out and hung nicely on wooden drying racks.

Thus, it has proven impossible for my husband to get all the rules right. I know exactly how each item of clothing should be handled, and therefore, I do my own laundry and he does his. This system works best for us and accordingly, we each do our own laundry.

You sure are persistent about your laundry opinions! I guess we all have our passion?

 

[iheartscience]

That's exactly the point - he DID take care of my clothes as he takes care of his own. He threw them all in together at a random temperature - exactly how he washes his own stuff. He just doesn't wear silk or cashmere, or white bras, come to that. Honestly, it wasn't worth the drama, just to have my laundry done, so I do it myself. That's as much as there is to it.

I wish I would have seen this before I posted-it would have saved me some typing! Ditto again.

 

[Jennifer W]

That's exactly the point - he DID take care of my clothes as he takes care of his own. He threw them all in together at a random temperature - exactly how he washes his own stuff. He just doesn't wear silk or cashmere, or white bras, come to that. Honestly, it wasn't worth the drama, just to have my laundry done, so I do it myself. That's as much as there is to it.

I wish I would have seen this before I posted-it would have saved me some typing! Ditto again.

LOL! We were posting at the same time. I'm accused by DH of having too many laundry rules for him to keep straight too.

My basic rule though is just read the freaking label already. That apparently defeats him. The little clue you get as to whether the item may be boiled into submission or not, printed on a tag and sewn into the actual garment? Too complex.

Bitter? I'll say...

 

[mayerling]

You sure are persistent about your laundry opinions! I guess we all have our passion?

OK, I'll drop it.

 

[kama_s]

Mayerling, in Indian families, one person does the laundry for everyone in that house. When I was younger, either my mom or dad would initiate and ask if anyone had any whites/blacks etc to be washed. When I grew older, I was told (not asked, told ) to initiate the process and ask my brother and anyone else if they had any laundry to do. Even if I'm staying at my aunt's house, she will ask me if I have any laundry to add to the pile (and in India, people wash clothes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.)

In my house, my hubby tends to do 70% of the laundry. I just find it a boring task to do (laundry and vaccuming are his tasks!). Every now and then when he is busy and can't get to it, I'll take it over. But I still go around his belongings to find anything he would like washed that isn't already in the laundry hamper.

Also, when it comes to folding, I prefer that whoever takes the laundry out should be nice enough to fold everyone's clothes and put them in the appropriate spots. Hubby comes from a I-do-min-you-do-yours mentality. So I started doing the same and would fold mine and leave his on a pile on his side of the bed. Come bedtime, I slip comfortably under the duvet meanwhile he has yet to fold his. He now prefers my way, since we both take a few extra minutes to fold and put into each other's closet.

 

[iheartscience]

That's exactly the point - he DID take care of my clothes as he takes care of his own. He threw them all in together at a random temperature - exactly how he washes his own stuff. He just doesn't wear silk or cashmere, or white bras, come to that. Honestly, it wasn't worth the drama, just to have my laundry done, so I do it myself. That's as much as there is to it.

I wish I would have seen this before I posted-it would have saved me some typing! Ditto again.

LOL! We were posting at the same time. I'm accused by DH of having too many laundry rules for him to keep straight too.

My basic rule though is just read the freaking label already. That apparently defeats him. The little clue you get as to whether the item may be boiled into submission or not, printed on a tag and sewn into the actual garment? Too complex.

Bitter? I'll say...

Ha, I'd be bitter too if I had a ruined Chloe top!

 

[pinkstars]

I do my laundry, and BF does his laundry. We keep separate hampers. Honestly, I don't want to do his stinky laundry! He commutes on his bike and some of that stuff gets sooooo yucky! Plus, we do not have a washer/dryer in our apartment, so we have to pay per load. It would be extremely inefficient to separate out our clothes into multiple loads for different colors. But if one of my loads is kind of light, I will try to grab some of his stuff that has obviously been worn.
I could see if there comes a time when I'm at home and he's at work, than I would probably just do his laundry so that it gets done. But with both of us working, I don't see anything wrong with us being responsible for our own things. Plus I wouldn't be able to trust him to know what to hang dry and what to throw in the washer.
I do the towels/sheets/kitchen items, if I didn't I don't know when they would get washed!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I hate laundry. Hate it. I don't sort it. I throw things in there that are hand wash or dry-clean only. I hang things up inside out. I never get behind on my laundry (the thought of having to do more than one load annoys me), but seeing the hamper get fuller each day also annoys me. Laundry could possibly be my most-hated chore besides grocery shopping.

But! I still tend to do DH's. He did his own for awhile, but he would leave his clothes in the dryer and I hated doing that college dorm thing where you take the other person's stuff out becuase then the laundry just sitting there would drive me batty. So I tend to do a load every other day. There is a load in the dryer at home right now. Knowing I'm going to have to put it all away tonight annoys me. Hate laundry.

If I were to join a nudist camp it would simply be to get out of doing laundry.

Also, I don't iron. Ever.

 

[iheartscience]

You sure are persistent about your laundry opinions! I guess we all have our passion?

OK, I'll drop it.

No need to drop it-I just think it's funny and maybe a little strange!

I've come to accept that most people don't have the same level of attention to detail that I have. (In laundry and elsewhere.) No one else could ever do my laundry, with the possible exception of my mom, because she's also a no-dryer type. Although come to think of it, she once washed my super dark raw denim jacket when I was in college and I flipped out. So nevermind-I'm definitely the only one who can do my laundry!

 

[Jennifer W]

That's exactly the point - he DID take care of my clothes as he takes care of his own. He threw them all in together at a random temperature - exactly how he washes his own stuff. He just doesn't wear silk or cashmere, or white bras, come to that. Honestly, it wasn't worth the drama, just to have my laundry done, so I do it myself. That's as much as there is to it.

I wish I would have seen this before I posted-it would have saved me some typing! Ditto again.

LOL! We were posting at the same time. I'm accused by DH of having too many laundry rules for him to keep straight too.

My basic rule though is just read the freaking label already. That apparently defeats him. The little clue you get as to whether the item may be boiled into submission or not, printed on a tag and sewn into the actual garment? Too complex.

Bitter? I'll say...

Ha, I'd be bitter too if I had a ruined Chloe top!

I remember being a bit cross....

he had to buy me a new one. That's my other laundry rule. If you wreck it, you have to replace it. Not a complete loss!

 

[mayerling]

Mayerling, in Indian families, one person does the laundry for everyone in that house. When I was younger, either my mom or dad would initiate and ask if anyone had any whites/blacks etc to be washed. When I grew older, I was told (not asked, told ) to initiate the process and ask my brother and anyone else if they had any laundry to do. Even if I'm staying at my aunt's house, she will ask me if I have any laundry to add to the pile (and in India, people wash clothes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.)

This is how I grew up too. When FI and I visit my parents, my mum will ask him if he has any clothes that need washing.

 

[zoebartlett]

What's an iron?

We don't even own one anymore. We just throw things in the dryer for a few minutes to take the wrinkles out of an item if needed.

 

[kama_s]

OK, but wouldn't it be possible for somebody to watch how they take care of your clothes the same way the take care of theirs?

It could be possible but it hasn't been in my case. Despite years of scolding (and multiple rolled up newspapers to the nose) my husband will still try to get all helpful by washing and then DRYING my clothes. The ONLY things of mine that can go in the dryer are socks, underwear (but not bras) and most pajamas (not certain pajama pants because then the inseam will get too short to keep my ankles warm).

Some t-shirts that aren't nice/good t-shirts that I wear in public may also be dried, as well as soccer socks, shorts and jerseys, and certain work out clothing. All other clothing, including tops (button ups, tank tops, assorted cute tops, t-shirts that are worn in public, sweaters), bottoms (jeans, jean shorts, dress pants, skirts) are not to be dried. The aforementioned items must also be washed in COLD water only, then smoothed out and hung nicely on wooden drying racks.

Thus, it has proven impossible for my husband to get all the rules right. I know exactly how each item of clothing should be handled, and therefore, I do my own laundry and he does his. This system works best for us and accordingly, we each do our own laundry.

You sure are persistent about your laundry opinions! I guess we all have our passion?

Haha, it's pretty much the same in my household. EXCEPT, I am very proud to declare that hubby now follows my rules for HIS clothes as well I showed him how the dryer was ruining all his nice wool sweaters and how his favourite pair of khakis shrunk etc. No mroe dryer in this house, baby! Everything is hung to dry on wood hangers now.

Kama 1 Hubby 0

 

[Haven]

What's an iron?

We don't even own one anymore. We just throw things in the dryer for a few minutes to take the wrinkles out of an item if needed.

This is what I do, too!

DH has a steamer thingy that he really likes. That is even too much trouble for me.