When should sex ed. begin?

[Pandora II]

On the back of the giving your teen **** thread, I'm interested to see people's views on when sex ed should begin. Also should it be the job of the parents, or the school? What should/shouldn't be included?

I started lessons in sex ed at age 8. The initial ones were on puberty and boys and girls had lessons separately - the girls also had the lady from Tampax come to do a talk and hand out free samples!

We then had from age 12 what was known as 'Personal & Social Development' which was co-ed. We covered all forms of contraception (including demonstrations of how to put on a condom!), emotional & respect aspects of sexual relationships, homosexuality, drugs, alcohol etc. In the first year - age 12-13 - we also all covered human reproduction in Biology.

By 14 we pretty much all knew how babies were made and how not to make one.

I think my schools were very open minded (given that this was 1985-1990) and I don't know of any parents that withdrew their kids. Since then, in my role as a politician I have worked extensively on campaigns to reduce teen pregnancies and the range of sex-ed offered by some schools (in general very religious schools) is next to nothing. One Catholic school refused to allow contraception to be taught at all - until we showed them the statistics showing that their school had the highest rate of pregnancies in the area!

 

[bee*]

We had sex-ed when we were in 6th class (we were all 11-12). I went to an all girls school so there was no need to separate and we had four classes over a few weeks. She went through the basics of sex, periods but didn't go into a huge amount of detail. I remember a few weeks before the class started we all got sent home with a note for our parents which informed them that the classes were starting soon and that they should probably do the talk before they started. I think at that stage it was too late to have the classes. We all knew what sex was and about contraception (mainly from a girl in our class whose mother had told her everything at about 9 years of age). We did biology in first year of secondary school so we were all about 13. I think that it should be up to the parents to go through the main things about what goes where and about contraception. My mother bought me the Usbornes fact of life book but she stapled the pages together that contained information about STI's so of course as soon as she went out of the room they were the first pages that I read about!!! Still not sure why she did that!!

 

[Circe]

I think basic sex ed should be incorporated into the earliest levels of education. Ideally, parents would give their kids the necessary information ... but some parents are repressed, some parents are shy, some parents have a history of abuse that makes them very uncomfortable discussing such things, some parents are misinformed themselves ... the list goes on and on and on.

I think our society would be a lot healthier if we destigmatized sexuality and made sure that everybody understood the basic fundamentals of their bodies, from "boys and girls are different" to "some areas are private" to "no, a condom will not protect against everything so make sure your partners get a full STD screen, but they're a heck of a lot better than nothing."

 

[elrohwen]

I had it in middle school, so around age 12-13. Of course I knew a lot of stuff from home, but that class really told us everything (contraception, drugs, alcohol, etc). This was at a public school.

I went to a Catholic high school and realized that none of my friends, from Catholic elementary schools, had any type of sex education. Some of the things they would say were so wrong and I always thought it was such a shame that their schools didn't teach them this stuff.

 

[yennyfire]

I think basic sex ed should be incorporated into the earliest levels of education. Ideally, parents would give their kids the necessary information ... but some parents are repressed, some parents are shy, some parents have a history of abuse that makes them very uncomfortable discussing such things, some parents are misinformed themselves ... the list goes on and on and on.

I think our society would be a lot healthier if we destigmatized sexuality and made sure that everybody understood the basic fundamentals of their bodies, from "boys and girls are different" to "some areas are private" to "no, a condom will not protect against everything so make sure your partners get a full STD screen, but they're a heck of a lot better than nothing."

YES!

 

[E B]

I think basic sex ed should be incorporated into the earliest levels of education. Ideally, parents would give their kids the necessary information ... but some parents are repressed, some parents are shy, some parents have a history of abuse that makes them very uncomfortable discussing such things, some parents are misinformed themselves ... the list goes on and on and on.

I think our society would be a lot healthier if we destigmatized sexuality and made sure that everybody understood the basic fundamentals of their bodies, from "boys and girls are different" to "some areas are private" to "no, a condom will not protect against everything so make sure your partners get a full STD screen, but they're a heck of a lot better than nothing."

Exactly this.

 

[kenny]

You've opened pandora's box with this one.

 

[that_someone_special]

Oh god, Ok I can't believe I"m going to write this... buuuuuut...

I was in 5th grade when we had sex ed... I also hit my growth spurt early (I was 5'4) and me and another girl were the tallest in the class. My class was weird, it was half smart people and half people that would act out- a lot. Getting to the point- one of the videos they made us watch was SUPER old and from god knows when but I still remember this... In the video they said "Girls mature faster and usually are taller than boys, because they are going through puberty." I can tell you that the few kids (mostly boys) that acted out thought it was funny to call all of the girls taller than them "Puberty Girl" ... I think some were even called "Period Girl" ..... I just don't know. Like, for me 5th grade was fine, but apparently not for some others.

And I basically have not grown in height since then either Now, I'm pretty much the shortest out of every group.

 

[princesss]

My sex ed experience sounds much like yours, Pandora. The basic "your bodies will change" stuff when we were 9 and 10, followed by all health classes involving some sort of sex ed, with 8th grade (so 13/14 year olds) being almost completely devoted to sex and the things that can result from sex. Safe sex, diseases, pregnancies, everything under the sun. It culminated with a visit to the local hospital to see all of the babies and tour the maternity ward (which often included hearing women in labour). I managed to avoid "The Miracle of Life" until my senior year of high school, which scared me silly! But 8th grade was really the important year. Our teacher answered any and all questions (including the question that got asked every year - "Why do they make flavoured condoms?"). It was actually really great, and it shocked me when I found out when I was in college that not everybody had that.

 

[kenny]

I'm really curious about this damage thing I often hear about.
How can accurate information damage a kid if it is given too young?

I can understand the youngest minds won't understand it all or the enormous implications of it all, but exactly how can information damage a mind too young to absorb it?

If no damage is possible then the question of what age should sex ed begin is not so explosive.
There is no risk if you start too young, in fact there IS no too young.
The only downside to starting too young is you may have to repeat yourself later.

 

[somethingshiny]

In 5th grade our sex ed began. It was several weeks long and covered everything. Part of the class had boys and girls together, and part of it was separated. Although I attended many different schools, every year our health class would review it.

I was 8 when I hit puberty. I looked like a lady everywhere. I learned where babies came from when I was 4 and my mom kept me informed of all the changes taking place in my body. I walked in on my parents more than once and got further explanations. I don't think there was anything I learned from school or peers that my mom hadn't taught me first. (Some stuff you just discover on your own, iykwim). When I became sexually active, I told my mom. I told her what I was comfortable and uncomfortable with.. When I told her about some specific problems, she knew it was caused by my bc and took me to get it changed. She never made it her business or asked questions or otherwise tried to influence, but she was always willing to listen and discuss. We discussed pornography. masturbation, rape, everything. Because our relationship was so open, I had a healthy attitude towards love and sex. I hope that my kids will have as open and trusting of a relationship as I had with my mom.

So, I think that most sex ed should come from home. And as early as necessary. If a child asks a question, I believe it should be answered.

 

[ksinger]

I think basic sex ed should be incorporated into the earliest levels of education. Ideally, parents would give their kids the necessary information ... but some parents are repressed, some parents are shy, some parents have a history of abuse that makes them very uncomfortable discussing such things, some parents are misinformed themselves ... the list goes on and on and on.

I think our society would be a lot healthier if we destigmatized sexuality and made sure that everybody understood the basic fundamentals of their bodies, from "boys and girls are different" to "some areas are private" to "no, a condom will not protect against everything so make sure your partners get a full STD screen, but they're a heck of a lot better than nothing."

While I might agree, all I can think whenever I hear stuff like this, is we can barely teach them to READ half the time, budgets and instruction are being slashed, now how in heck are the schools supposed to teach THAT too?? I know I know: too sour, too cynical. But people do seem to want the schools to mitigate everything. In MY ideal world, parents wouldn't BECOME parents unless they had their s*** together and could refrain from bequeathing their pathologies to their kids.

I apologize for my sourness, but right here right now in Oklahoma, some of our newly-elected state legislators from BF Podunk, are trying to explicitly introduce CREATIONISM - and are blatantly calling it that, not even coyly disguising it as ID, into the science classrooms, in spite of numerous court cases declaring it illegal. They will waste scarce taxpayer monies and make us a laughingstock AGAIN. And a recent article interviewing the state education board, members stated that instruction would have to be cut so they could "make the new business plan work". True education has its back to the wall here at least. A comprehensive sex-ed program sounds like a pipedream to me...not to mention the religious contingent that is ascendant now, would fight it tooth and nail.

 

[Circe]

I think basic sex ed should be incorporated into the earliest levels of education. Ideally, parents would give their kids the necessary information ... but some parents are repressed, some parents are shy, some parents have a history of abuse that makes them very uncomfortable discussing such things, some parents are misinformed themselves ... the list goes on and on and on.

I think our society would be a lot healthier if we destigmatized sexuality and made sure that everybody understood the basic fundamentals of their bodies, from "boys and girls are different" to "some areas are private" to "no, a condom will not protect against everything so make sure your partners get a full STD screen, but they're a heck of a lot better than nothing."

While I might agree, all I can think whenever I hear stuff like this, is we can barely teach them to READ half the time, budgets and instruction are being slashed, now how in heck are the schools supposed to teach THAT too?? I know I know: too sour, too cynical. But people do seem to want the schools to mitigate everything. In MY ideal world, parents wouldn't BECOME parents unless they had their s*** together and could refrain from bequeathing their pathologies to their kids.

I apologize for my sourness, but right here right now in Oklahoma, some of our newly-elected state legislators from BF Podunk, are trying to explicitly introduce CREATIONISM - and are blatantly calling it that, not even coyly disguising it as ID, into the science classrooms, in spite of numerous court cases declaring it illegal. They will waste scarce taxpayer monies and make us a laughingstock AGAIN. And a recent article interviewing the state education board, members stated that instruction would have to be cut so they could "make the new business plan work". True education has its back to the wall here at least. A comprehensive sex-ed program sounds like a pipedream to me...not to mention the religious contingent that is ascendant now, would fight it tooth and nail.

Well, I can't argue with that: this is more in the hypothetical realm. I mean, for that matter, I also want a pony, y'know? Sadly, I doubt we're going to see anything like this anytime soon, even though all the numbers demonstrate that abstinence-only education leads to everything from higher rates of teen pregnancy to higher rates of transmission for STDs. It's times like these when I want to resort to the smilies to express my emotions - the ones like and

Alas ....

Hey, P.S. - In the other thread, you mentioned you were having a procedure done on your hand, and you might be lurking for a few days - glad that's not the case, and hope it's a sign you're recovering with alacrity!

 

[ksinger]

While I might agree, all I can think whenever I hear stuff like this, is we can barely teach them to READ half the time, budgets and instruction are being slashed, now how in heck are the schools supposed to teach THAT too?? I know I know: too sour, too cynical. But people do seem to want the schools to mitigate everything. In MY ideal world, parents wouldn't BECOME parents unless they had their s*** together and could refrain from bequeathing their pathologies to their kids.

I apologize for my sourness, but right here right now in Oklahoma, some of our newly-elected state legislators from BF Podunk, are trying to explicitly introduce CREATIONISM - and are blatantly calling it that, not even coyly disguising it as ID, into the science classrooms, in spite of numerous court cases declaring it illegal. They will waste scarce taxpayer monies and make us a laughingstock AGAIN. And a recent article interviewing the state education board, members stated that instruction would have to be cut so they could "make the new business plan work". True education has its back to the wall here at least. A comprehensive sex-ed program sounds like a pipedream to me...not to mention the religious contingent that is ascendant now, would fight it tooth and nail.[/quote]

Well, I can't argue with that: this is more in the hypothetical realm. I mean, for that matter, I also want a pony, y'know? Sadly, I doubt we're going to see anything like this anytime soon, even though all the numbers demonstrate that abstinence-only education leads to everything from higher rates of teen pregnancy to higher rates of transmission for STDs. It's times like these when I want to resort to the smilies to express my emotions - the ones like and

Alas ....

Hey, P.S. - In the other thread, you mentioned you were having a procedure done on your hand, and you might be lurking for a few days - glad that's not the case, and hope it's a sign you're recovering with alacrity![/quote]

Yeah, it doesn't hurt too bad, although typing with the "lobster claw" dressing on my right hand is a bit of a thrash. Hence the asking for the pass on the increase in typos.

 

[soocool]

I went to cathlholic schools in the 1960s and early 1970s, so basically - no sex ed, except for 1 day in high school when the priest showed us a movie about birth and he walked out of the class.

I started talking to DD when she began asking questions. She was around 3 or 4 and I just kept the answers to her questions simple and to the point. Of, course the first question was "Where do babies come from?" and all I told her was that the daddy plants his seed in mommy and then a baby grows. She was happy with that answer and never questioned me again. Then around age 8 we talked about periods since my neighbors daughter 1st got hers at age 8. I wanted to make sure she heard about it from me first and then we got her a starter package, etc. Lastly she had sex ed in high school in 10th grade where all the boys and girls moaned everytime a body part was mentioned. Don't worry everyone survived the class. The girls even said watching a baby being born was a good reason not to have sex for a very long time.