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What's your stance on piercing babies/young children's ears?

A

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
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I had a conversation with a friend (who is expecting a baby girl) recently about piercings. I come from a culture where it's super normal to pierce a baby girl's ears and mine were pierced when I was younger than a year old. She said she would never do it, and she would wait until her daughter asks for it, because she wouldn't want to cause her daughter unnecessary pain in case she doesn't want it. I totally understand about body autonomy and consent and all that, but I guess I've never thought of it that way (and if I had a daughter, I'd definitely get her ears pierced when she's a baby so she doesn't have to remember the pain!) because the way I see it is once she's older if she doesn't want to wear earrings she can just... not wear them and the hole will close up anyway.

What are your thoughts?
 
As a Caucasian American I would never do that. But I understand there are cultural differences where it’s more embedded into a newborn’s identity and I respect the role it plays in those cultures. I think absolutely if in your culture it is normal and expected you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.

It would not mean anything other that puncturing my daughter’s ears for sparklies, so I wouldn’t do it, and I have side- eyed family friends who have done it for that reason, if we’re being honest. But again i do consider those two very different things
 
I had my ears pierced when I was 6 years old. I don't think anyone asked me if I wanted it done, they just took me to a jewelry store that was doing it.
I remember being excited about it.
My family is of Mediterranean culture. All little girls get their ears pierced early.
 
I don't think it's a big deal, either way. But one thing I learned early in motherhood was to quietly do whatever I decided to do. Some people feel too free to weigh in and judge about babies. But they can't add their two cents if they don't know your plans. :)

Pros: (Jmo of course)

As you said, she wouldn't have to go through the fear of getting her ears pierced later on. And I agree that she could just let them close up later if she doesn't like them.

As far as pain, I've had/done piercings in three places on my ears and it didn't hurt much. I don't think earlobes have many nerve endings.

I think tiny earrings on a little girl are cute.

Cons:

People might talk about you a little lol. As Niel says, white middle class sometimes considers it low class or something along those lines.

Also, I guess there is some minor "danger." I recall one little girl who wore dangly earrings when she was out playing. One of them caught on something and ripped her earlobe.

Some people might think it's pushing a little one into too much of a girly-girl role.

My verdict is it's mama's call and that's that! :lol-2:
 
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Niel said:
As a Caucasian American I would never do that. But I understand there are cultural differences where it’s more embedded into a newborn’s identity and I respect the role it plays in those cultures. I think absolutely if in your culture it is normal and expected you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.

It would not mean anything other that puncturing my daughter’s ears for sparklies, so I wouldn’t do it, and I have side- eyed family friends who have done it for that reason, if we’re being honest. But again i do consider those two very different things
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It’s interesting, because I would say here that even if people don’t believe in the traditional superstitions or Ayurvedic reasons or whatever; they still think piercing should be done as young as possible. I know someone who didn’t pierce her kid’s ears and some older folks were like “oh she’s putting her kid through unnecessary pain waiting till she’s older” and gave her side eye.

stracci2000 said:
I had my ears pierced when I was 6 years old. I don't think anyone asked me if I wanted it done, they just took me to a jewelry store that was doing it.
I remember being excited about it.
My family is of Mediterranean culture. All little girls get their ears pierced early.
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It’s interesting because I would consider 6 to be late, not early :D

seaurchin said:
I don't think it's a big deal, either way. But one thing I learned early in motherhood was to quietly do whatever I decided to do. Some people feel too free to weigh in and judge about babies. But they can't add their two cents if they don't know your plans. :)

Pros: (Jmo of course)

As you said, she wouldn't have to go through the fear of getting her ears pierced later on. And I agree that she could just let them close up later if she doesn't like them.

As far as pain, I've had/done piercings in three places on my ears and it didn't hurt much. I don't think earlobes have many nerve endings.

I think tiny earrings on a little girl are cute.

Cons:

People might talk about you a little lol. As Niel says, white middle class sometimes considers it low class or something along those lines.

Also, I guess there is some minor "danger." I recall one little girl who wore dangly earrings when she was out playing. One of them caught on something and ripped her earlobe.

Some people might think it's pushing a little one into too much of a girly-girl role.

My verdict is it's mama's call and that's that! :lol-2:
Click to expand...

That’s so interesting, that early piercings are considered low class! Here, not piercing your ears is just considered strange. I think I have just one friend who doesn’t have pierced ears. I do have friends who rarely wear earrings, but they don’t mind that they’ve been pierced.

Though dangling earrings on a kid is a recipe for disaster! Small studs or thin Huggies only!
 
Personally, I would wait until the child is older and asks to have his/her ears pierced.

Then it would be his/her choice.

DK :))
 
Caucasian European here.
First time I got my ears pierced at 3 y.o.: I had allergic reaction to to surgical earrings, so my mom took me off the earrings and the holes closed.
Second time I got my ears pierced at 5 or 6 y.o. because I wanted: again I had allergic reaction to surgical earrings, but this time I simply switched with yg studs and it all went well.

That being said, I'd never pierce my child's ears until she/he wanted to...it's a painful and useless body alteration ; it's also not safe to wear earrings at young age.
I don't care about traditions, I prefer doing my own choices.
 
I would wait til my child was old enough to decide for herself. But for us that is our culture so there is obv no right or wrong here. But I know personally I would not want my parents to have done it before I could tell them for myself I wanted to get my ears pierced. So that is how I would do it for my children
 
dk168 said:
Personally, I would wait until the child is older and asks to have his/her ears pierced.

Then it would be his/her choice.

DK :))
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missy said:
I would wait til my child was old enough to decide for herself. But for us that is our culture so there is obv no right or wrong here. But I know personally I would not want my parents to have done it before I could tell them for myself I wanted to get my ears pierced. So that is how I would do it for my children
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That’s fair, I totally see that point of view too!
 
purplesilk said:
Caucasian European here.
First time I got my ears pierced at 3 y.o.: I had allergic reaction to to surgical earrings, so my mom took me off the earrings and the holes closed.
Second time I got my ears pierced at 5 or 6 y.o. because I wanted: again I had allergic reaction to surgical earrings, but this time I simply switched with yg studs and it all went well.

That being said, I'd never pierce my child's ears until she/he wanted to...it's a painful and useless body alteration ; it's also not safe to wear earrings at young age.
I don't care about traditions, I prefer doing my own choices.
Click to expand...

Oh I thought the material they use for earring piercings is hypoallergenic - I believe it’s stainless steel with a layer of nickel free YG. At least that’s what mine were done with when I got my other piercings.

When I was a baby they did it with a 22kt gold stud (super small and hollow one).

purplesilk said:
No, the hole won't close up anyway.
If you wear earrings till complete healing, the hole will be open for the rest of you life.
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It can close up, depends on the person. My second piercings closed up the first time, had to get them redone. I have a friend who let her baby earring holes close by stopping earrings once she was about 6-7 and she had to get them re pierced as an adult.
 
My grandmother (born in Italy) had hers pierced as an infant. I don't remember ever seeing her wear earrings, though. She just wasn't a jewelry-loving person.

When my mother was born (also in Italy) she did not have her ears pierced; my mother eventually had them pierced when she was in her mid-40s. She did enjoy wearing earrings after that.

I had mine pierced at age 34. They took a loooong time to heal-- over a year. (My 2nd piercing took just as long.) I couldn't see doing that to a baby and I was worried that earrings could be a choking hazard if they got loose. So I decided to wait and let her decide for herself.

My daughter wanted hers pierced at age 7 so I took her to have it done. They took a very long time to heal, just like mine, and she got tired of wearing studs all the time to keep the holes open, so they closed up. She had them re-pierced as an adult in early 2020 and they took nearly 2 years to heal fully. I don't often see her wearing earrings, though. Like my grandmother, she isn't into jewelry in general.

I don't feel strongly either way. Perhaps doing it to an infant reduces the annoyance of a long recovery period later? But then if they turn out not to be someone who wears jewelry, they have holes in their ears for nothing.
 
If I’d had a daughter, I wouldn’t pierce her ears as a baby or young child, I’d wait till she was old enough to express an interest in having her ears pierced.
 
pearlsngems said:
My grandmother (born in Italy) had hers pierced as an infant. I don't remember ever seeing her wear earrings, though. She just wasn't a jewelry-loving person.

When my mother was born (also in Italy) she did not have her ears pierced; my mother eventually had them pierced when she was in her mid-40s. She did enjoy wearing earrings after that.

I had mine pierced at age 34. They took a loooong time to heal-- over a year. (My 2nd piercing took just as long.) I couldn't see doing that to a baby and I was worried that earrings could be a choking hazard if they got loose. So I decided to wait and let her decide for herself.

My daughter wanted hers pierced at age 7 so I took her to have it done. They took a very long time to heal, just like mine, and she got tired of wearing studs all the time to keep the holes open, so they closed up. She had them re-pierced as an adult in early 2020 and they took nearly 2 years to heal fully. I don't often see her wearing earrings, though. Like my grandmother, she isn't into jewelry in general.

I don't feel strongly either way. Perhaps doing it to an infant reduces the annoyance of a long recovery period later? But then if they turn out not to be someone who wears jewelry, they have holes in their ears for nothing.
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I wonder if the time taken for them to heal depends person to person? My second piercings healed up in about 3 weeks (but the hole closed up when I stopped wearing earrings - I got bored of the look of earrings in the second piercing after about 2 years of having the piercing, and took the earrings out. Took about a month to close). My third took nearly double, around 6. First piercings I was an infant but according to my mom it was about 3 weeks as well.
 
Asian American here-I will wait until my younger DD is old enough to take care of the piercings herself.

My older DD wanted her ear pierced at age 7, but was unable to take care of them herself and didn't want me to touch her ears. We had to get those piercings close up. She got her ears pierced again at age 10-that worked out much better...
 
I'm glad these conversations about consent are happening! I had my ears pierced as a youngin and they have never closed up. I can't even remember the last time I wore earrings, but that hole is always there. Personally I don't think people should be manipulating someone elses body for their own pleasure. A baby gets no pleasure out of ear piercing, that is ONLY for the parents. There is no care about the unnecessary pain that baby goes through, but its fine cause baby looks cute for mom. Not really the trend or thought process we should be pursuing IMO.

I have a friend who is a tattoo artist and said her shop gets many people correcting these early piercings because they end up uneven (or perhaps were poorly done originally). I'm not sure if this is because baby ears are so tiny it's hard to get it perfectly placed and so when they grow they end up uneven or if thats from something else.
 
purplesilk said:
No, the hole won't close up anyway.
If you wear earrings till complete healing, the hole will be open for the rest of you life.
Click to expand...

I had my ears pierced at about 7 by a doctor because I asked. At about 12, I decided I wanted the piercings a little more centered so had them redone and yes, the original ones closed up, even though I had them for 5 years.

I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was about 3. The main reason was that she had so little hair, everyone thought she was a boy and even she, at that age, didn't like that. So she wanted them pierced too. I do remember some woman coming up to me while it was being done and yelling at me for having it done to a child that young. I was shocked that someone would think it was any of their business. I'm white american and in my 60's. Pierced ears were not at all unusual among my peers in elementary school. I grew up in Miami. Maybe it was the hispanic influence that made it more common there.
 
My own opinion is exactly just that, my own opinion and I would never judge anyone else for their choices. I had mine pierced when I was an infant. I'm fine with that. For my own daughter I waited until she was old enough to make the decision on her own, which was when she was 6. It was a little traumatic for her but she's glad she got it done.
 
I pierced my own ears with a special hoop earring that had a point on one end and a hole at the other. Every day you were supposed to press on it so the tension would slowly make its way through to the other side. I think I was around 8 or 9 years old. I saved my allowance to buy the earrings. I can’t believe I got them perfectly centered at that age!
I am Italian..I grew up in an era where it was very common to get your baby’s ears pierced. My father didn’t want mine pierced..so I didn’t get them done. All my friends had them done already so I did it myself..lol
 
Having a new baby is stressful enough that I wouldn't have thought to pierce her ears as that would just be another thing to stress about - am I cleaning them right, are they getting infected, what if she pulls it out, etc.? I'm glad I waited until my daughter expressed an interest in getting them pierced.
 
Caucasian american here. I had my daughters ears pierced 35 years ago at 4 months. No one thought about consent back then. She wore earrings for years and in HS she developed an allergy that she can’t wear them any more.
 
I had mine pierced aged 7 & against my parents wishes. I was DESPERATE to have them done, so my oldest cousin took me secretly on the bus to get it done. She was 18 & told them she was my sister. My parents went berserk & she was in serious trouble! But i have never regretted it.

I have two daughters & for me, it has to be their choice.

My 14 year old had hers done for her 10th Birthday. She had been asking since she was 9 & we promised she could get them done the following year if she still wanted too. She wears earrings 24/7.

My 12 year old would rather die than have her ears pierced. It freaks her out & just doesn’t interest her at all. Yet.
 
I'm a first generation American of Eastern European parents. Although my mother did not have her ears pierced, she allowed me to have my ears pierced (at the pediatrician's office) as a fourth birthday present. No malls and Piercing Pagodas at the time, so it was done in the doctor's office.
 
I personally think it's up to each family to decide. But for myself I'm going to wait until my daughter is a little older to offer it. Mainly because I prefer she have a choice since it's her body. And from my experience piercing can be a horror story.

I originally told my mother no when she asked me at 11 and then of course changed my mind when my grandmother asked me not much later on. Those holes stayed open for about 10 years and then one closed. So I stopped earrings at that point. And maybe 5ish years later the other followed and I wasn't able to work up the courage til last spring or summer to try. (In my 30s now) Which of course with my luck rejected. I'm in the middle of trying again with gold balls and the gun compared to the rejected titanium from the professional piercer. It's going better than last time but not enough to make me not worry about rejection again. So if her healing process is anything like mine she deserves to have the choice. I could not inflict an experience like this on a young kid :(
 
MamaBee said:
I am Italian..I grew up in an era where it was very common to get your baby’s ears pierced. My father didn’t want mine pierced..so I didn’t get them done. All my friends had them done already so I did it myself..lol
Click to expand...

May I ask you where you're from?
 
purplesilk said:
No, the hole won't close up anyway.
If you wear earrings till complete healing, the hole will be open for the rest of you life.
Click to expand...

It seems like I'm almost the only one whose holes are not closing...I got one second hole at twenty y.o. and though I wore earrings only for a couple of years, thirty years later my second hole is still open...:???:
 
purplesilk said:
May I ask you where you're from?
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New York! Now I live in Pennsylvania. My father was born in Italy. My mom was born here but her parents were from Italy.
 
For anyone who is considering this, I strongly recommend a tattooing/piercing studio where licensed and trained people will perform the piercing. My ears were pierced by a friend/jeweler with ice cubes and a needle. It worked out fine although one of the paths isn't quite straight. I took my daughter to the mall (it was a long time ago) and she seemed fine - after almost a year, she had infection after infection. No lasting damage but it was tough. So have someone properly trained puncture your children!
 
It's common where I live to pierce the ears of baby girls. Mine got done when I was... I don't know, 9, 10? and at that time I was pretty unhappy I had to consciously deal with that instead of already having piercings. I'm still of the same mind, I would've preferred if my mother had taken care of that chore at an earlier point, but I imagine she wanted me to make up my own mind about it.

I don't plan on being a mother, so I won't have to make that choice for my daughter, but in any case here no one frowns on parents who have their baby's ears pierced. This way when the baby grows into an adult woman she can conveniently choose to wear or not to wear earrings. She doesn't have to deal with piercings first.
 
MamaBee said:
New York! Now I live in Pennsylvania. My father was born in Italy. My mom was born here but her parents were from Italy.
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Sorry, I didn't get it: I thought you were Italian; you have Italian ancestry.
Thank you.
 
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