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Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
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What would you do if you found yourself in the following job-related situation? Would you quit?

CURRENT JOB
- You chose to pursue your career because you believe in your employer''s mission.
- You have been with your current employer for three years.
- You have had a brand new leadership team for the last year. (You were drawn to this employer by the old leadership team, which no longer exists.)
- You do not agree with most of the decisions the new leadership team has made.
- The changes this leadership team has implemented profoundly affect the way you do your job on a daily basis, and not in a good way.
- You are now required to do things you do not believe in, which you believe will have a negative effect on your customers.
- Your input as a professional has been repeatedly sought, and then ignored. And now, you are being forced to implement a new program that you believe is a giant waste of time and money.
- You no longer believe in your employer''s mission.
- You adore your customers, and it breaks your heart to leave them.

MONEY
- You can easily afford to quit your job and still maintain your current lifestyle, due to your spouse''s income.
- Your spouse works for himself, and there is little risk that he will lose a significant amount of his income any time soon.
- Your spouse supports any decision you make, but believes that you should quit.

FUTURE JOB PROSPECTS
- Jobs in your current field are scarce, especially right now. It''s likely that you won''t find another comparable job until next fall.
- You only plan on working in this field for two more years, anyway, because you plan on opening your dream business in two years'' time.
- You can easily resume working on a part-time basis with other companies you have worked with in the past.

What would you do?
Would you quit? Why?
Would you stay? Why?
 
I would ask myself one question "are there any more blessings to be had in this current position?" If the answer is no, I''d quit and realize that my time there was done.


This actually sounds very familiar to me. I asked myself the question and resigned immediately. I was offered a better position in less than a month where I stayed happily for several years.
 
Can you move up your two year deadline for starting you own business?
 
I would quit my job and open the haven
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somethingshiny--I like your question, thank you.
Was it difficult for you to leave? Did you really just know that it wasn''t right and walk away?

lala--Unfortunately, my business is going to require a lot of capital which I have not yet raised. However, leaving my current position does have the potential for giving me more time to work on the business, so that is a possible plus.

Thank you for your responses, ladies!
 
Date: 7/23/2009 3:21:52 PM
Author: Miscka
I would quit my job and open the haven
1.gif

I so want to do that *right now.*
I have been practicing my investor pitch for a few weeks now, though, so I should be ready to go up in front of potential investors soon!
 
If you''re unhappy, can''t see the situation improving in the near future AND can afford to not work (full-time at least), then you should quit.
Center all your focus, attention, passion and love around Haven.
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And freelance for some extra dough in the meantime (should you want to).
 
I would quit. It wouldn''t be worth it to me to be unhappy and to do something that I don''t enjoy.



I was kind of in the same situation. I worked for a company for over 3 years and then I transferred to a different area. Well the new people I worked with just went about things in a completely different way, and everything that I really enjoyed about work was gone. I quit, and I am so much happier.
 
I think if you can afford to live comfortably and quit your job you should do it if you really aren''t happy anymore there.

If you were just bored there, then I might say to stick it out a little longer. But it sounds like you have serious concerns about your happiness if you stay (you feel like your opinion doesn''t matter there, you feel you''re being forced to do things you don''t believe in and don''t think will work, and you no longer believe in what your boss is doing). I think as long as it won''t impact you financially you should leave and devote yourself to your dream - opening the Haven.
 
Date: 7/23/2009 3:25:58 PM
Author: Bia
If you''re unhappy, can''t see the situation improving in the near future AND can afford to not work (full-time at least), then you should quit.

Center all your focus, attention, passion and love around Haven.
1.gif
And freelance for some extra dough in the meantime (should you want to).

Ditto says I
 
Do whatever makes you happy, which in this case is quitting your job.

The interesting thing about your post haven is that none of the points you made were FOR staying in your job....so i think that''s you''re answer.

Also, im kinda of the opinion, that once your on your death bed, you''re not going to bemoan the fact that you didnt spend enough time at the office. Or wish you''ld had less vacation time...

So i think you should do what makes you happy haven
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Haven, I feel for you. I was in the same profession as you are now in for eight years and walked away very reluctantly because of the same exact reasons you list. It was incredibly tough and five years later, I still sometimes miss my former "customers". Since you are in a position that quitting will not cause financial hardship, I would recommend giving it some deep thought. There are ways to volunteer or work part-time that will allow you to interact and bring joy into others lives, but you will not have the same stress issues. If you are too stressed in your job you will not be effective, especially this job, as your customers will sense it. It seems your husband already recognizes this, which is why he believes you should quit. Have you talked with him about changes he has seen in you over the last year of this? Sometimes the effects of stress are more apparent to someone who knows you well than they are to you.

Best of luck with whatever you decide. Is it OK with your husband if another guy gives you a virtual hug?
 
Date: 7/23/2009 3:23:18 PM
Author: Haven
somethingshiny--I like your question, thank you.

Was it difficult for you to leave? Did you really just know that it wasn''t right and walk away?

My friend told me about the "magic question" and I''ve used it ever since. I use it for relationships, employment, homes, schools, etc. For me, breaking it down to one question is necessary. I tend to over-analyze EVERYTHING! It was weird when I discovered that there were going to be no more blessings at that job. I kinda felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. Like your list, it was kind of obvious. So, no it wasn''t hard. It was just the next step. And, yes, I just walked away. I asked myself the question while at work one day. I signed a resignation letter and left. Due to the incompatability with moral issues with my boss, I didn''t even give notice. (I know, I suck) I think I was trying to prove a point. The funny thing is. One of the girls I was working with thought I had some real balls to just walk. She is now in charge of that office and has asked me to take a position twice.



And, remember, although it wouldn''t be an ideal situation, you could easily get a job waitressing, bartending etc to make a bit of money while focusing on the Haven.
 
Hi Haven! Well, knowing what your current profession is and how passionately you feel about certain aspects of it, I can see why this is a challenging time for you.

If it was me, I''d probably stick it out as long as possible because I''d like the job security until it was truly time to move on (and open your Haven!). That''s just me though. I''ll give more thought to this and let you know if I come up with anything else.
 
Given your position, I would quit your current job and start working part-time for previous employers, to ease the transition from employed work into entrepreneurship, and also because I would want to keep up some financial independence for the time being. I would spend the other half of my time slowly building up your own business. This is as good a time as any to start venturing out on your own, and you are in an excellent position to do so.

ETA: I just read that opening the Haven will require outside financing. From that point of view, it is obviously not the best time. Will you require bank financing or will you raise private investor or venture capital? Since financing won't be easy either way, it might still be worth it to start working on the business now and have your ducks in a row (market research done, nitty-gritty of the business plan scoped out, etc.) before going for financing.

ETA 2: Congratulations on surpassing 5,000 posts!
 
Okay, I have a thought. Are you purposely leaving out the description of your profession in this thread? I don't know if I should mention it but my suggestion has to do with one of your titles. You and I have the same credentials but at different levels. One title we have in common involves staying informed of best practices in the area of reading. If you left your current job, could you work privately as a RS while continuing to research opening Haven? I thought of this option because it would still involve some of the work you currently do (and love) but you'd be working for yourself so you wouldn't have to deal with a lot of the negative aspects in our field.

I know you mentioned that you wouldn't necessarily need your income if you left, but this way, you could devote time to the profession but in a different way, AND you'd be continuing to earn money. That $ could ultimately help when it comes time to funding Haven.

ETA: I keep calling it Haven. That would be the name, right?
 
Date: 7/23/2009 4:25:28 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Date: 7/23/2009 3:23:18 PM
Author: Haven
somethingshiny--I like your question, thank you.

Was it difficult for you to leave? Did you really just know that it wasn''t right and walk away?

My friend told me about the ''magic question'' and I''ve used it ever since. I use it for relationships, employment, homes, schools, etc. For me, breaking it down to one question is necessary. I tend to over-analyze EVERYTHING! It was weird when I discovered that there were going to be no more blessings at that job. I kinda felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. Like your list, it was kind of obvious. So, no it wasn''t hard. It was just the next step. And, yes, I just walked away. I asked myself the question while at work one day. I signed a resignation letter and left. Due to the incompatability with moral issues with my boss, I didn''t even give notice. (I know, I suck) I think I was trying to prove a point. The funny thing is. One of the girls I was working with thought I had some real balls to just walk. She is now in charge of that office and has asked me to take a position twice.

And, remember, although it wouldn''t be an ideal situation, you could easily get a job waitressing, bartending etc to make a bit of money while focusing on the Haven.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it''s very helpful for me to hear things like this.

I know there are no more blessings for me at this job. I suppose I knew it last year, too, but ignored the part of me that was unhappy because I still valued the time I had with my students. (I''m a teacher.)
 
Date: 7/23/2009 4:09:10 PM
Author: jet2ks
Haven, I feel for you. I was in the same profession as you are now in for eight years and walked away very reluctantly because of the same exact reasons you list. It was incredibly tough and five years later, I still sometimes miss my former ''customers''. Since you are in a position that quitting will not cause financial hardship, I would recommend giving it some deep thought. There are ways to volunteer or work part-time that will allow you to interact and bring joy into others lives, but you will not have the same stress issues. If you are too stressed in your job you will not be effective, especially this job, as your customers will sense it. It seems your husband already recognizes this, which is why he believes you should quit. Have you talked with him about changes he has seen in you over the last year of this? Sometimes the effects of stress are more apparent to someone who knows you well than they are to you.

Best of luck with whatever you decide. Is it OK with your husband if another guy gives you a virtual hug?

jet--Thank you for your response. Would you be willing to share more information about why you walked away? I ask because I''m struggling with these two thoughts:

1) If not me, who? In other words, who is going to deliver the type of instruction these kids needs if teachers like me don''t stay in the profession, despite horrible and misguided leadership.

2) The pendulum of education will always be swinging, leadership will always change, trends will always come in and take over, and then they all eventually leave. So if I stick it out, the leadership will change.

But then I think:

3) None of that matters if I''m too burnt out to continue to do what I know is best, and if I''m too burnt out to enjoy my own life.

Do you know what I mean? Am I crazy?

And, you are spot on with the last bit--my husband has noticed a change in me, and he is worried about it. I''ve been teaching for five years, and this last year really took a toll on me. I was sick more, I threw out my back and was bedridden for several days, and I was generally pretty unhappy about my job. He definitely noticed, and since we try very hard to design our lives to make them as stress-free as possible, he thinks I need to find a better place to work.

Oh, and I''ll take a virtual hug anytime, thank you!
 
Date: 7/23/2009 4:35:11 PM
Author: mscushion
Given your position, I would quit your current job and start working part-time for previous employers, to ease the transition from employed work into entrepreneurship, and also because I would want to keep up some financial independence for the time being. I would spend the other half of my time slowly building up your own business. This is as good a time as any to start venturing out on your own, and you are in an excellent position to do so.

ETA: I just read that opening the Haven will require outside financing. From that point of view, it is obviously not the best time. Will you require bank financing or will you raise private investor or venture capital? Since financing won't be easy either way, it might still be worth it to start working on the business now and have your ducks in a row (market research done, nitty-gritty of the business plan scoped out, etc.) before going for financing.

ETA 2: Congratulations on surpassing 5,000 posts!

Thank you for your insight, mscushion.

I'm trying to raise venture capital, or to find some angel investor who believes in the Haven and wants to be a part of it. I wish my job provided enough income to even make a difference, but I only make $60,000 a year, so it's definitely not something that I do for the money.

I've been working on the business plan and my investor pitch all summer, so that is shaping up pretty well, at least.

ETA: 5,000 posts! Yikes, I had no idea I posted that much. Thank you!
 
Date: 7/23/2009 4:40:15 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Okay, I have a thought. Are you purposely leaving out the description of your profession in this thread? I don''t know if I should mention it but my suggestion has to do with one of your titles. You and I have the same credentials but at different levels. One title we have in common involves staying informed of best practices in the area of reading. If you left your current job, could you work privately as a RS while continuing to research opening Haven? I thought of this option because it would still involve some of the work you currently do (and love) but you''d be working for yourself so you wouldn''t have to deal with a lot of the negative aspects in our field.

I know you mentioned that you wouldn''t necessarily need your income if you left, but this way, you could devote time to the profession but in a different way, AND you''d be continuing to earn money. That $ could ultimately help when it comes time to funding Haven.

ETA: I keep calling it Haven. That would be the name, right?

Hi, Zoe,

I only left my job info out so my question would sound more universal.

You''re absolutely right, I could continue to work as a reading specialist, in fact there are a few open positions right now. I just applied for a part-time English position at a local high school, so we''ll see.

DH suggested that I do some tutoring, which is another option. Or I could do some literacy coaching for schools, too. I need to go explore.

And yes, it is the Haven, you''re right!
 
Blackpaw--You make a good point, I definitely didn''t focus on much of the positive, did I?
I really like your death bed hypothetical, as well.
 
Date: 7/23/2009 3:11:09 PM
Author:Haven
What would you do if you found yourself in the following job-related situation? Would you quit?

CURRENT JOB
- You chose to pursue your career because you believe in your employer''s mission.
- You have been with your current employer for three years.
- You have had a brand new leadership team for the last year. (You were drawn to this employer by the old leadership team, which no longer exists.)
- You do not agree with most of the decisions the new leadership team has made.
- The changes this leadership team has implemented profoundly affect the way you do your job on a daily basis, and not in a good way.
- You are now required to do things you do not believe in, which you believe will have a negative effect on your customers.
- Your input as a professional has been repeatedly sought, and then ignored. And now, you are being forced to implement a new program that you believe is a giant waste of time and money.
- You no longer believe in your employer''s mission.
- You adore your customers, and it breaks your heart to leave them.

My FI is going through something like this now. He loved his former management team, but the company has gone through restructuring and changes have been made, which FI does not agree with. What makes it more difficult is that he is the HR manager for the company, so has been the one to have had to let those people go. What''s even worse is that the new CFO, who is running the company does not value employees at all and does not partner with the HR team to make decisions with regards to employees. He really wants to leave, but, he has been there for only 2 years and wants to get an additional year in, for resume purposes. He has decided to start passively searching for a job in the Spring in hopes a great job comes up by Summer when he hits 3 years).

I think before quitting, I would start networking with others in your profession to find out if there might be opportunities for you in the Fall. If you get a good feeling about that, then I would say that you quit. After you quit, updating your resume would be a must and then of course to network with others in hopes to secure employment for the Fall.
 
I was wondering how this situation was affecting your current level of happiness. Now that I see your answer, I say quit.

My main reason: because I would fear that all energy would be spent on a job that made me miserable and I wouldn''t have any reserves for The Haven.

Personally, I think as long as you have the means, your happiness and The Haven should trump all. It sounds as though you do have the means.



When it comes to the children...There will always be a blend of teachers out there. Some will be incredible and some will be terrible. Kids NEED this mix in order to learn how to deal in the real world. I know I sound very lax right now, I''m not, but put in its simplest truth, this is how I feel.

It sounds as if your job might be suffocating you a bit. Someone once told me to put on my oxygen mask first, because I can''t help anyone else until I can breathe. Maybe you need to breathe in order to start The Haven.
 
Date: 7/23/2009 5:21:33 PM
Author: Haven
jet--Thank you for your response. Would you be willing to share more information about why you walked away? I ask because I'm struggling with these two thoughts:

1) If not me, who? In other words, who is going to deliver the type of instruction these kids needs if teachers like me don't stay in the profession, despite horrible and misguided leadership.

2) The pendulum of education will always be swinging, leadership will always change, trends will always come in and take over, and then they all eventually leave. So if I stick it out, the leadership will change.

But then I think:

3) None of that matters if I'm too burnt out to continue to do what I know is best, and if I'm too burnt out to enjoy my own life.

Do you know what I mean? Am I crazy?

And, you are spot on with the last bit--my husband has noticed a change in me, and he is worried about it. I've been teaching for five years, and this last year really took a toll on me. I was sick more, I threw out my back and was bedridden for several days, and I was generally pretty unhappy about my job. He definitely noticed, and since we try very hard to design our lives to make them as stress-free as possible, he thinks I need to find a better place to work.

Oh, and I'll take a virtual hug anytime, thank you!
I know exactly what you mean and can't answer the second because I asked the exact same questions and know I'm crazy.
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The short answer to why is that when the stress level of all the BS I had to go through just to be able to work with my students was higher than the stress of actually working with them and their parents, it was time to leave. And that was directly related to your third question. I was at the point of being so stressed about school and especially the leadership that I couldn't enjoy anything else. I still took time for some other hobbies, but the joy was sucked out of them. That may seem weird to someone who has never experience what people call "burn-out", but is literally true.

I tend to be a very light-hearted person, always finding the fun and humor in every situation and it just wasn't that way any more. I was cranky, my friends didn't really like hanging around because of the bad attitude and I couldn't find happiness in anything. As a specific example, I love riding motorcycles (couldn't guess that from the av, huh?) and would get out nearly every weekend for a quick ride just to enjoy the fresh air and freedom. The last spring I was teaching, the only time the bike left the garage was when I rode it to school--I just couldn't find any enjoyment the rest of the time.

The first question kept me teaching a year longer than I should have. Teachers in my field are always in short supply and good ones are very scarce. I felt an obligation to the students to do what was right for them, but in reality don't know how effective I was because of all the stress. The reasons we got into teaching are all wrapped up in that question and its answers, right? Most teachers go into the profession because of the sense of duty to succeeding generations and the joy of seeing students grow and learn, not because they think it will be a good way to make money. It is the one question I still don't have an answer for.

The aspects of the second point got me in sooooo much trouble. Call me cynical, but I felt that over half of the administrators I worked with were those that couldn't cut it in the classroom, so they decided to see what else they could do with their degrees. So now they were in a position of authority over the teachers trying to tell good teachers what to do when they were clueless about how things should be done in the first place. My response was to keep doing what was best for my students, regardless of the consequences to me personally--the kids came first. As a result, I did get in trouble periodically, but don't regret any of it, because my students got a better education than if I had keeled over to poor choices from the administration. I agree that the pendulum will always swing, but I didn't see it swinging in a positive direction after NCLB was passed, at least for a long time.

When I left teaching, I kept my certificate valid for another few years in case I wanted to go back. In the end, it just wasn't worth it for me to risk that feeling of emptiness that permeated my last year teaching. I don't know what clinical depression feels like, but it had to be close to where I was at that time.

That's my story in a large nutshell. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. That part of my life is a book that is still painful to open even five years later, but it really is an open book for those who ask to read it. As a guy, I hate to admit, but I nearly teared up with all the emotions, good and bad, that welled up when writing this. It was good therapy.

In the end, only you can decide what is best for you.
 
quit and prepare for your own biz.
 
Thank you for your replies thus far. I have a lot to think about.

I''m meeting an old friend for dinner, but I look forward to coming back later tonight and reading through this thread again.

I really, really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond. I''m very torn right now.
 
Date: 7/23/2009 5:25:35 PM
Author: Haven
Date: 7/23/2009 4:35:11 PM
Author: mscushion
Given your position, I would quit your current job and start working part-time for previous employers, to ease the transition from employed work into entrepreneurship, and also because I would want to keep up some financial independence for the time being. I would spend the other half of my time slowly building up your own business. This is as good a time as any to start venturing out on your own, and you are in an excellent position to do so.
ETA: I just read that opening the Haven will require outside financing. From that point of view, it is obviously not the best time. Will you require bank financing or will you raise private investor or venture capital? Since financing won''t be easy either way, it might still be worth it to start working on the business now and have your ducks in a row (market research done, nitty-gritty of the business plan scoped out, etc.) before going for financing.
ETA 2: Congratulations on surpassing 5,000 posts!
Thank you for your insight, mscushion.
I''m trying to raise venture capital, or to find some angel investor who believes in the Haven and wants to be a part of it. I wish my job provided enough income to even make a difference, but I only make $60,000 a year, so it''s definitely not something that I do for the money.
I''ve been working on the business plan and my investor pitch all summer, so that is shaping up pretty well, at least.
That''s great news -- you always sound extremely eloquent here on PS, so I''m sure your presentation will be very well-done.

I obviously know way too little about the Haven and your plans and whether or not you can start building up the business before raising money or whether a cash infusion is the first building block. It''s been tough raising money recently, as I''m sure you are well aware -- though that''s not to say you won''t be able to; all it takes is one person who really buys into your idea and you as a person!

It sounds like you are going to try and start fundraising in the near future -- you could wait and see what happens and let that influence your decision to quit your job or to stay. But I think my original opinion still stands -- since you can afford it, you should probably work on something that you really believe in.
 
1) If money is no object
2) If the goals of the company conflicted with my ideas, sensibilities, values, ethics, or common sense
3) If the employer (above the heads of current leadership) won''t listen to or address important issues

Then it''s time to call it a day. I have. More than once in my professional career. I usually had something else lined up before I quit. But I quit.

You can be bored silly by your job. You can dislike a co-worker or two. But I think you have to agree with your employer as to their goals, and the impact they will have on your job. Fundamentally, you have to be on the same page. I believe you risk your health and mental health if you and they are that much at odds; it simply creates too much stress.

The short answer?

Quit. Life''s too short.
 
Haven, knowing a little bit about what you do since I''ve followed your story a bit, if I were you, personally, I would quit.

When I was teaching, the administrators made it so difficult to do my job, and I got so angry, that I knew my students were not receiving the best education because I was tired of following protocol, and I was so tired of dealing with things I didn''t believe in, but I just stopped fighting the system and went with it. I felt like I was cheating my students. Now that I''ve quit I''ve never been happier.
 
"But then I think:


3) None of that matters if I'm too burnt out to continue to do what I know is best, and if I'm too burnt out to enjoy my own life.


Do you know what I mean? Am I crazy?"






It sounds to me like you already know what you should do. Maybe that's just me though.
 
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