princesss
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 8,035
I'm in a situation that's making me uncomfortable and I really don't know what to do.
A friend of mine (call her T) has been talking about a guy she works with for a little while. (She's casually seeing somebody else, but they're not exclusive. Relevant to the story towards the end.) This guy (call him J) has showed some strong interest in my friend. T is not used to guys showing much interest, and I think she's as excited by the fact that J seems to like her as she is by maybe liking him.
The thing is, J is married. He says he wants a divorce, but the facts are as follows: He is married. He has 3 kids. He still lives in the same house as his wife.
It's frustrating to me that T does not see this as clearly as I do. No matter what the reasoning or the "actual" situation at home (maybe they're unhappy, maybe only he's unhappy, maybe he just likes getting tail on the side), he's married, that should be it. I think by even entertaining this flirtation, she's showing a lot of disrespect for herself, the guy's family, and really, marriage as a concept. And him...well, don't get me started on him.
I try to avoid the topic, and I know she avoids talking to me about it, but I feel like I'm contributing to the situation by not saying anything other than pointing out that the way he paints the picture isn't necessarily exactly the way things are. (She has a bad habit of falling for lines and taking them as truth.)
Now, she is far more interested in the guy she's already kind of seeing, but this guy crops up about once or twice a month.
To make things more complicated, this girl's parents met while married to other people, so I feel like maybe her line on where things are appropriate is a little different than mine is.
What would you do? Would you sit her down and tell her your views? Bite your tongue because it's not your life? Only share your opinion if/when asked?
A friend of mine (call her T) has been talking about a guy she works with for a little while. (She's casually seeing somebody else, but they're not exclusive. Relevant to the story towards the end.) This guy (call him J) has showed some strong interest in my friend. T is not used to guys showing much interest, and I think she's as excited by the fact that J seems to like her as she is by maybe liking him.
The thing is, J is married. He says he wants a divorce, but the facts are as follows: He is married. He has 3 kids. He still lives in the same house as his wife.
It's frustrating to me that T does not see this as clearly as I do. No matter what the reasoning or the "actual" situation at home (maybe they're unhappy, maybe only he's unhappy, maybe he just likes getting tail on the side), he's married, that should be it. I think by even entertaining this flirtation, she's showing a lot of disrespect for herself, the guy's family, and really, marriage as a concept. And him...well, don't get me started on him.

I try to avoid the topic, and I know she avoids talking to me about it, but I feel like I'm contributing to the situation by not saying anything other than pointing out that the way he paints the picture isn't necessarily exactly the way things are. (She has a bad habit of falling for lines and taking them as truth.)
Now, she is far more interested in the guy she's already kind of seeing, but this guy crops up about once or twice a month.
To make things more complicated, this girl's parents met while married to other people, so I feel like maybe her line on where things are appropriate is a little different than mine is.
What would you do? Would you sit her down and tell her your views? Bite your tongue because it's not your life? Only share your opinion if/when asked?