Wedding What should we give our officiant? (Famly member)

[musey]

Our officiant is my cousin/MOH''s husband. Their two daughters are our flower girls. Their family is going to totally dominate our wedding ceremony! Too cute!

Anyway, I''m wondering what I should pay/give him. We''re covering their plane tickets to get from NY to LA (all four) and lending our apartment to them to vacation in for the week following the wedding... but we''d be doing that even if they weren''t all involved in the wedding ceremony, because their presence is very important to us.

I feel like there should be something more for him for all the work he''s putting in to our ceremony. This is his very first wedding ever--he got licensed just for us, though he''s enjoying it so much that he wants to continue officiating in the future.

So what makes sense... a "tip" check for $100? A physical gift of some kind? Maybe a gift basket left for them in our apartment as a post-wedding "thank you" surprise?

Please let me know what you think!

 

[Selkie]

We gave our friend who officiated a gift certificate for $100 for a seafood restaurant in the area where our wedding was, because he and his family vacationed there after the wedding. We also covered their lodging for the weekend of the wedding.

 

[Haven]

We are making a significant money donation to our rabbi''s discretionary fund, which he uses to give out scholarships to students, donate to charity, etc. Is your officiant passionate or connected to any particular cause? I would make a donation to that cause in his name.

 

[AceP]

If the family is staying in LA to vacation post-wedding, I''d leave a fairly hefty gift certificate for a nice restaurant you think they''d enjoy.

 

[musey]

Thank you for all your suggestions! FI and I will discuss.

Date: 6/29/2008 11:47:19 PM
Author: AceP
If the family is staying in LA to vacation post-wedding, I''d leave a fairly hefty gift certificate for a nice restaurant you think they''d enjoy.

What do you think qualifies as "hefty," given the circumstances? I just want a good idea of what''s appropriate... I''d love to give them a lot but budgeting in their direction is a bit tight.

Their combined plane tickets are costing us about $2000, and our apartment is saving them about $1020 in hotel costs. Given that that much money is being thrown around, I almost feel a little silly giving them something like $100 for a restaurant... besides, at most nicer places in LA, that wouldn''t even cover 4 people.

Thanks again for replying, ladies!

 

[lliang_chi]

I think a $100 certificate is a nice thoughtful gift on top of everything else you''re doing. Or perhaps you can do entrance in one of your city''s main attractions like Alcatraz or something. Just a thought.

 

[brgirl]

Our officiant was DH''s Uncle, so we felt silly giving him just cash. He is really into music, so we got him a framed copy of Johnny Cash''s first album. It cost about $100, and he really loved it.
So that specific idea might not work since you''d want to give him something he could easily fit back on an airplane...but maybe if you know he has a specific interest in something, you could look into that? Maybe a limited-edition book or tickets to a sporting event back home?

 

[AceP]

Date: 6/30/2008 2:34:59 AM
Author: musey
Thank you for all your suggestions! FI and I will discuss.

Date: 6/29/2008 11:47:19 PM
Author: AceP
If the family is staying in LA to vacation post-wedding, I''d leave a fairly hefty gift certificate for a nice restaurant you think they''d enjoy.

What do you think qualifies as ''hefty,'' given the circumstances? I just want a good idea of what''s appropriate... I''d love to give them a lot but budgeting in their direction is a bit tight.

Their combined plane tickets are costing us about $2000, and our apartment is saving them about $1020 in hotel costs. Given that that much money is being thrown around, I almost feel a little silly giving them something like $100 for a restaurant... besides, at most nicer places in LA, that wouldn''t even cover 4 people.

Thanks again for replying, ladies!

agreed, $100 for an LA or NYC restaurant, sadly, won''t cover much. I''d think $200 would be nice, if you can swing it. If you can''t swing it, maybe you could have a pro photo that shows him officiating framed and send that as a thank-you gift after the wedding? Or, make sure the photographer takes a pic of the family of four during the wedding and have that matted and framed and send it to them? that''s potentially cheaper but really lovely and meaningful.

 

[musey]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:57:03 AM
Author: lliang_chi
I think a $100 certificate is a nice thoughtful gift on top of everything else you''re doing. Or perhaps you can do entrance in one of your city''s main attractions like Alcatraz or something. Just a thought.

Good idea... we have a few local zoos and aquariums, the kids would love that. Most of the other attractions are pretty "adult" though (Hollywood''s Erotic Museum, anyone?

)

I''ll have to look into admission for those places... maybe that and a certificate for a restaurant would be a good balance.

 

[musey]

Date: 6/30/2008 3:28:43 PM
Author: AceP

agreed, $100 for an LA or NYC restaurant, sadly, won''t cover much. I''d think $200 would be nice, if you can swing it. If you can''t swing it, maybe you could have a pro photo that shows him officiating framed and send that as a thank-you gift after the wedding? Or, make sure the photographer takes a pic of the family of four during the wedding and have that matted and framed and send it to them? that''s potentially cheaper but really lovely and meaningful.

Oooh I like this idea as well, and definitely wouldn''t have to be expensive! Thank you for the suggestion!